Scouting with the Dads

[DisneyDadC]

Ok I have been wanting to start this thread for a bit now.I have noticed a lot of us seem to be scout leaders. So I figured we could have a thread here to share our wisdom.
Everyone can post a little bio about themselves and maybe the experienced guys could help out drop some tips for the newer ones. It will be cool to hear about others do thing etc.

 

[DisneyDadC]

we will reserve this just in case for future

 

[DisneyDadC]

I will start off: I am a first yr leader.I am den leader for the wolfs.I have a son as a wolf and an older one as webelos.Last yr was both of my sons first yr in cub scouts,I kinda helped out where I could and I guess thats why they asked me to help out with the pack this yr.I took the basic training courses online (youth proctection ,leader spec etc).I took the first half of the outdoor leader training and have the second half to go in Oct. I plan on doing as much as I can and being as active with the scouts as possible.
Look forward to seeing who else here does scouts and how far along they are. I also intrested in seeing how active other troups are and compare things. Well off for now hope to see many more replies to this thread.

 

[DisDadDoc]

Thanks for starting this, Carl! Great idea!

I've got two boys in scouts, a 5th grade Webelos 2 & a 6th grade (soon to be) 2nd Class Boy Scout.

Both boys have been in it since third graders. I've been Popcorn Kernel of our Pack since my oldest 2nd year (& now Kernel of my Troop), summer camping chair for 2 years, Committee Chair of my Pack for 2 years, & Co-Den Leader of our Webelos 2. I've done Baloo, Owl, etc training was supposed to do Wood Badge this fall, but have to wait until next year thanks to hurricaine Irene

As I've posted before, I've been pretty unhappy with the leadership of my Troop. I spent 2 weeks at camp with the boys this summer, one with the Troop & one with the Pack. The amount of adult supervision & bullying/hazing was appalling (other parents words, not mine, I've been careful to call it "relational aggression"). I've met with the the scoutmaster, the Troop committee & the council of the BSA and have they've been receptive to my suggestions, but I have yet to see significant positive improvement. The real problem is that the Troop has unbelievably weak Assistant Scoumasters, & with 83 scouts, our scoutmaster (who is fabulous) can only do so much. I've offered to tale over as Committee Chair for the Troop. Our current Committe Chair hasn't had a boy in scouting in 3 years. I'm still waiting to hear back, but I'm not optimistic

Most recently, my Pack's Old Scoutmaster (who joined another local Troop) has contacted us about having Den Chiefs from this rival Troop. Need to decide what to do. I'm inclined to accept his Den Chiefs & to have den chiefs from 2 packs. As it stands now, I'm going to have a really hard time recommending the current Troop to any of our Webelos.

Going to be a tough year. Camped last night with the Troop & there was lots of bullying (which I stopped), but none of the Assistant Scoutmasters even came to the campout (& two of their sons are the biggest bullies so doubt they'd be much help...)

 

[DisDadDoc]

And in honor of talk like a pirate day, today I took another step on my path toward mutiny in my town's scouting program. Tonight, my Pack's Cubmaster from last year (who refused to cross over into the town Troop because of the environment there and joined a neighboring town's Troop) and I are meeting over a beer to discuss starting a new Troop in town.

 

[afwdwfan]

I never was in scouts, although i think it is a great program and I'm glad I'm getting the opportunity to learn a bit about it from the DIS Dad's... especially having a son who might have some interest in scouts in a few years.

And in honor of talk like a pirate day, today I took another step on my path toward mutiny in my town's scouting program. Tonight, my Pack's Cubmaster from last year (who refused to cross over into the town Troop because of the environment there and joined a neighboring town's Troop) and I are meeting over a beer to discuss starting a new Troop in town.

Shouldn't you be meeting over some rum?

Good luck! I hope you can work together and get something positive accomplished.

 

[The Disney Fanatic]

My troop will have it's first Court of Honor in October. I would love to hear ideas of how to conduct the ceremony.

 

[DisDadDoc]

My troop will have it's first Court of Honor in October. I would love to hear ideas of how to conduct the ceremony.

Ours have always been like a potluck dinner. We either do desserts or a full meal and then have the boys come up in front and get their new rank patches and merit badges. If you google "Scout Court of Honor" a bunch of resources (like blank programs templates, and scripts, etc) come up.

Good luck!

And in honor of talk like a pirate day, today I took another step on my path toward mutiny in my town's scouting program. Tonight, my Pack's Cubmaster from last year (who refused to cross over into the town Troop because of the environment there and joined a neighboring town's Troop) and I are meeting over a beer to discuss starting a new Troop in town.

My meeting didn't go so well. The old Cubmaster couldn't be convinced to leave his new Troop. Something about his wife would kill him And his son really enjoying the new Troop (which is a pretty good reason!)

So, it looks like I'm back in the same boat. Continue to stick it out in my current Troop and trying to make it better, while waiting to decide whether to jump ship to another Troop when my son crosses over or starting a new Troop. In the meantime, I'll keep my eyes out for other potential partners in a new troop. I may need to step up as Scoutmaster of a new Troop, which I could do, but I couldn't do it alone and I'd need to find a strong Committee Chair.

 

[DisneyDadC]

camping trip in two weeks was canceled.I hate when this happens wonder why???? My kids (and the big kid in myself) were looking forward to this.

 

[DisDadDoc]

camping trip in two weeks was canceled.I hate when this happens wonder why???? My kids (and the big kid in myself) were looking forward to this.

You could come camping with us! Simsbury Community Farm on Saturday October 8th.

I was just shopping for a new camp stove... I make a mean camp omelet!

 

[wasnotafan]

I did the cubscouts/Weblos/Explorer thing many years ago. Looking for options for my son and daughter. No cub packs and the only brownie troop meets from 3:10-4:00 and my daughter doesn't even get out back to town from school until 4:15. Not really wanting one more thing to do and there aren't that many kids around but we may end up starting our own if we have to do it. My other option is just do what I unofficially until I can sign them up for Civil Air Patrol in a couple of years.

 

[DisneyDadC]

You could come camping with us! Simsbury Community Farm on Saturday October 8th.

I was just shopping for a new camp stove... I make a mean camp omelet!

Eggs in a bag???? thats what our kids do. Fast clean and no mess.

 

[DisneyDadC]

Chris, Did you guys find out where you are staying when you go to Gettysburg???

 

[DisDadDoc]

Eggs in a bag???? thats what our kids do. Fast clean and no mess.

Yes!!

Chris, Did you guys find out where you are staying when you go to Gettysburg???

No, not yet. And they moved it from Columbus Day weekend to Oct 28-30th. My daughter's birthday is Halloween so I may not get to go now. Would really like to, though! I'll see how much grief it'll cost me.

 

[DisDadDoc]

WISDOM NEEDED FROM THE GROUP

Guys,

I've droned on and on about my trials with our scout troop here before, and now I'd like some advice. I received the following email from our Scoutmaster last night. After finishing laughing and resisting the temptation to respond immediately, I've put extensive thought into this, and I'm pretty sure how I'm going to respond (really no differently that my previous discussions with this guy, but I'd like to hear your thoughts as well. Plus it'll give me an opportunity to vent without doing it publically.

Hi Chris --

I heard indirectly ... at least 3rd hand ... that you remain very concerned about bullying among the boys in Troop [XXX]. I'd like to talk with you again on this topic.

How are we defining "bullying?" Do we think it's intentional?
Is there any pattern regarding who is doing the bullying and who is being bullied? Are there key offenders?
Can the Troop change the environment to eliminate this behavior?
Don't interpret this next question to mean that I don't care ... but, is the behavior outside of what's normal for boys? These guys may be Scouts, but they are not angels.
What kind of campaign can we undertake to bring awareness to this behavior, and influence change?
I think my Scoutmaster Minute last week about "being kind vs. being right" gets to the core of many unpleasant comments ... it got some good applause, any way!
I plan to regularly hit similar topics.

Years ago, Troop [XXX] had a reputation. I believe my efforts and those of other Troop leaders have largely corrected the situation. I don't think we have a big problem, just a problem that is typical when dealing with 11-17 year old boys. Nevertheless, it's a concern that always needs to be addressed. I am not blowing it off ... but would like to hear more of your concerns and ideas for an action plan.

Most of all, I would ask that you are sensitive to the grapevine in [town]. We focus a lot of energy on recruiting boys and parents into the Troop, and negative talk can undo a lot of hard work.

I hope your weekend at Gilwell is absolutely awesome. Let's find time to chat. Maybe some of the Wood Badge sessions will lead us to new solutions.

Bill

What do you think?

I posted this on the main thread, but I'm looking for some advice whereever I can find it!

 

[DisneyDadC]

How are we defining "bullying?" Do we think it's intentional?

Intentional or not it should not be happening

Can the Troop change the environment to eliminate this behavior?

Not sure environment change is answer,I am thinking better supervision would help more.

Don't interpret this next question to mean that I don't care ... but, is the behavior outside of what's normal for boys? These guys may be Scouts, but they are not angels.

I am sure most people know what is normal boy behavior and would not say there is bullying if it was normal behavior.

From reading rest of your post sounds to me like they dont really think there is an issue and they just want you to hush up about it.
I must have missed any posts you made about this so I am not exactly sure about the whole story behind this email.Is it your kid that is being bullied?? or is it something you see in general?? Cause I think this might effect the way I go about things. Cause one thing you have to think about is how will your actions effect the kids being bullied? will it make it better? or worse?
Also what authority do you have in troop will anything you say be followed by the troop?I know in my pack I might only be a den leader but if I see something I dont like, even in other dens I can and will step in to correct it. I dont know if anything I just said here helps you or your situation, but I am sure there is something that can be done to solve your issue.

 

[DisDadDoc]

Intentional or not it should not be happening

Not sure environment change is answer,I am thinking better supervision would help more.

Exactly! Never once have I seen any coaching from his Assistant Scoutmasters!

I am sure most people know what is normal boy behavior and would not say there is bullying if it was normal behavior.

You would think. I think this is his way of saying that I don't know what I'm talking about...

From reading rest of your post sounds to me like they dont really think there is an issue and they just want you to hush up about it.

Exactly. That's my read, too.

I must have missed any posts you made about this so I am not exactly sure about the whole story behind this email. Is it your kid that is being bullied?? or is it something you see in general?? Cause I think this might effect the way I go about things. Cause one thing you have to think about is how will your actions effect the kids being bullied? will it make it better? or worse?

Fortunately, it is not my son being bullied. He has been by scouts in this troop, but not anymore. I always stay in the room with him, so there are easier targets than my son. This makes it easier for me, since I'm more of an objective observer.

Also what authority do you have in troop will anything you say be followed by the troop?I know in my pack I might only be a den leader but if I see something I dont like, even in other dens I can and will step in to correct it. I dont know if anything I just said here helps you or your situation, but I am sure there is something that can be done to solve your issue.

Again, you've hit it on the head. I'm not technically a leader in the Troop, so I have no authority. I've stepped in and told boys to cut it out before and have had them lie to my face that they weren't teasing a kid. Scoutmaster and Assistant Scoutmaster do NOTHING! Makes me furious!

Thanks for your insight, Carl! I really appreciate it!

 

[Bo Duke]

My Scoutmasters Response. Thoughts? This is as close to "shut the f*ck up" as we get in Connecticut. Don't think it is going to have the effect that he desired...

Hi Chris --

You are asking that our boys behave at a higher standard because they are scouts. Uhh, Yeah, that is how scouts should be looked upon.OK, I agree with that objective. But, are current behaviors outside what is normal for 11-17 year old boys? Again maybe but they are scouts. You are expert in these areas, but my experience is that boys this age are not nice to each other. Then he is aware that things are happening and is saying that is just normal. Idiot. As we press the Scout Law, we are swimming against the current.And?? Isn't that the underlying foundation of Boy Scouts?

That doesn't mean that I am giving up. Yes it does. He said he was giving up by saying they are swimming against the current, basically saying just go with the flow. The trending flow hasn't looked very good to me and looks like too many in the past have pisssed in the stream. (sorry just my opinion) Just the opposite ... we press the Scout Law so that as boys mature it will be part of their make-up. And, maybe we help some boys mature earlier.



[District Trainer] ... have you met him? I doubt that he is the answer.well being you have and depending on your thoughts this could be of some leverage to you.


Let me know if you have other suggestions, observations, concerns. Yeah step up or step out.

Some people are just too hesitant to fight against the current that they don't see that the stream leads to the river, and the river to the lake. I just don't get it. And the fact that they apparently had a worse rep, when was this and who straightened it out? Sorry, Some people just rub me the wrong way and this guy would be one of them. I would just keep watching and suggesting to him. One of two things will happen. Either he will start to act just to get you off of his coat tails or maybe he will out you in a position that you have some say and can control what he can't. Of course there is the possibility that he may single your son out in which case your leverage would come in to use against him. Again just my opinion. Either way good luck with it.

 

[Bo Duke]

here is a post to your previous questions. I don't know if you saw it or not.

Ok, so we just moved to a new city and state. My son and I were involved in Cub Scouts last year (Tiger/Bobcat) and I was Asst. Den Leader. Almost all Dad led...camping, woodworking, carpentry etc.
At his new school/pack/den..it seems to be all mom led??? I went to the first den mtg...we wore our uniforms as we were used to. It was about 6 moms and a couple of high schools girls leading the den mtg of about 12 boys. We were the only ones in scout apparel. There did not seem to be much personal interaction with the boys, just rotating them through stations to "accomplish" activities. I tried to hang back (to see how they did things/ don't want to step on any toes).
I was very disappointed....not with the moms, I'm glad they were leading. Where are the dads? My son also plays football and almost every dad is there for every practice T/Th 5:30-6:30 and games on Sat. Not one other dad bothered to take his son to scouts on a sunday afternoon!?
What are y'alls thoughts?
I am more than happy to try to help the den, but not real comfortable being the only dad. I'm also not sure all the Leaders/helper s are certified/youth protection etc.(high school girls) I can do alot of the activities with my son outside of the meetings, but this so different than we were used to.

Any scouting DisDads...advice?
Thanks for the chance to vent.

I would do what you did. Sit back for a meeting or two at the most. I also would find out who your district director is and speak with him. Ask questions but don't say, "well we did it this way." So ask questions and make suggestions. See how the pack meetings are. If they are just the same then I would defiantly talk to the district director. They should, but may not be aware of the situation. My oldest boy joined as a tiger last year. I became his den leader. Now this year my youngest son is in it. I am his den leader. My wife is our older sons leader. I have also now become the Cubmaster. There was lots of unorganization and we haven't been a quality pack for the last several years. I hope to change that. I talked with our district director and he knew a little bit about how things were going but not all of it. We were actually losing scouts to the unorganization. Also you may want to talk to your charter organization and see what they have to say.

 

[Bo Duke]

Ok, Quick Bio....
I was in scouts when I was younger. My oldest son started in tigers last year. I was his leader. He moved forward to 2nd grade after the first quarter. I talked with the council about him continuing with his Tiger and then also working on his wolf. They said if we wanted to do that, it would be ok. So we did. This year I handed off my now wolves to one of the parents in that group. My oldest is in bears. My youngest is now in tigers. I am the Tiger leader again this year.

We have been loosing scouts and from what i have counted we have lost another 3 or 4 this year because of (from what they have told me) our cubmaster. So they wanted a new cubmaster and since I did a good job of running things while he recovered from his car accident they suggested I do that. Long story short I am now also the cubmaster. I don't know if it is just coincidence or if it is me taking over, but, Last year we had 7 new tigers. This year I am looking at having 14 and I keep getting phone calls. Mind you we are a booming town of 1300 people. We have added 2 to the wolves, 1 to the bears, 1 to the webelo I, and 2 to the webelo II. And that has been in the last week. I just took over as cubmaster two weeks ago. I have heard now that the old cubmaster isn't the cubmaster that a couple of the 4 that dropped may come back now. We will see.

There is a lot more to the story but we will leave it at that. So any hints, tips, or things that you may have done are all accepted as i will need all the help i can get. I am sure i will have plenty of questions as I already do, but i will ask later.