Positive thoughts please-ups and downs p.42

:flower3: I’ve known many Type 2 diabetics and yeah, there comes a point for all of them where dietary factors can simply no longer be ignored. Tough to make such big lifestyle adjustments but I’m gtateful the condition can be managed. It’s one of those things where if you can get on track you end up being way better than you were before. I’m sorry (as I’m sure you are too) that it took a life threatening event to be the catalyst.

I’m concerned about you feeling so guilty and responsible for everything. I realize we all develop dynamics within our marriages that work for us but seriously - you are not to blame for the eating habits of a grown man. You’ll be supportive with providing healthy choices but this is not on you!! I hope today is a good one for both of you. :hug:

I totally agree. He's an adult an you're not his mother. This is not on you @kimblebee . You need to stop that right now.

I know he’s an adult and I’m not his mom but I am the cook in the family so what he eats for meals is up to me. I can’t control what snacks he has, but whether he has a low sugar supper or not is on me.
 
It sounds like being more informed on healthier eating and sticking to that idea will do a world of good for you both. It also sounds like there's a lot of incentive for each of you to be knowledgeable and actively following through on doing what you both need to sweep your individual doorsteps so so speak. I can't imagine after what's happened either one of you is wanting to pursue a lifestyle that increases the odds of facing such a trauma again, so that's good reason to know better and do better.
 
Here's some information, Kim.

You can do it! :grouphug:

http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fi...-plans-and-a-healthy-diet.html?loc=ff-slabnav

Start with some small changes and take it one day at a time. Watch portion sizes, read labels, switch over to whole grains (which don't break down into sugar as quickly) instead of processed foods, add in more proteins in place of carbs, limit snacking (or have an orange if you want something sweet), drink water instead of sweetened drinks and juices, and try to increase exercise which burns sugar (and I know is tough now, but you and Richard may be even able to do some exercises at home a couple of times a day). If you're used to having a large bagel in the morning, say, switch it out to a whole grain english muffin and add an egg. Try to feed Richard similarly to how he was eating in the hosptial when his sugars were in correct range. Don't enable him to break his diet by buying things he shouldn't have; just provide him the things you know are good for him, saying you're doing it for the good of both of you. Stay the course!
 
Here's some information, Kim.

You can do it! :grouphug:

http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fi...-plans-and-a-healthy-diet.html?loc=ff-slabnav

Start with some small changes and take it one day at a time. Watch portion sizes, read labels, switch over to whole grains (which don't break down into sugar as quickly) instead of processed foods, add in more proteins in place of carbs, limit snacking (or have an orange if you want something sweet), drink water instead of sweetened drinks and juices, and try to increase exercise which burns sugar (and I know is tough now, but you and Richard may be even able to do some exercises at home a couple of times a day). If you're used to having a large bagel in the morning, say, switch it out to a whole grain english muffin and add an egg. Try to feed Richard similarly to how he was eating in the hosptial when his sugars were in correct range. Don't enable him to break his diet by buying things he shouldn't have; just provide him the things you know are good for him, saying you're doing it for the good of both of you. Stay the course!
^^ This is very basic but fundamentally important advice! :thumbsup2 @kimblebee - can he be motivated to take ownership of the issue on his own behalf? He really, really should - it will make the transition so much smoother for both of you. Especially now that he has time on his hands, how about he does the menu planning and you do the cooking? It just seems like that would be so much better than him just feeling like he should eat anything you put in front of him and you feeling like you're completely responsible for his well-being. :flower3:
 


^^ This is very basic but fundamentally important advice! :thumbsup2 @kimblebee - can he be motivated to take ownership of the issue on his own behalf? He really, really should - it will make the transition so much smoother for both of you. Especially now that he has time on his hands, how about he does the menu planning and you do the cooking? It just seems like that would be so much better than him just feeling like he should eat anything you put in front of him and you feeling like you're completely responsible for his well-being. :flower3:


I agree with everything you’ve said. I wish it was that easy. I don’t want to spill all his dirt but no, he won’t take responsibility for it. If I’m not on top of it, it will all fall apart.
 
I agree with everything you’ve said. I wish it was that easy. I don’t want to spill all his dirt but no, he won’t take responsibility for it. If I’m not on top of it, it will all fall apart.
Baby steps. Small changes. Doing this together should make him feel like it's a team effort.
 
kimblebee, I am so very happy to read that Richard has way more mobility than you first perceived. What an absolute blessing. :thumbsup2

On the other, please just remember that you have to stay steady and healthy yourself. :hug:

And don't forget the disability credit on your taxes.
 


I agree with everything you’ve said. I wish it was that easy. I don’t want to spill all his dirt but no, he won’t take responsibility for it. If I’m not on top of it, it will all fall apart.

No need to spill his dirt, it's not our business. However, I will say that it sounds like it's high time for a come to Jesus talk. He no longer has the ability to avoid the responsibility and he should absolutely understand that at this point. You lived in complete terror you were going to lose him.

His condition allows for -- and demands that he sits down and meal plans with you. It's fine if you guys don't know it all immediately, however it is critical that you both traverse that learning curve. Doing it with a partner will make it easier and more enjoyable for you both.
 
No need to spill his dirt, it's not our business. However, I will say that it sounds like it's high time for a come to Jesus talk. He no longer has the ability to avoid the responsibility and he should absolutely understand that at this point. You lived in complete terror you were going to lose him.

His condition allows for -- and demands that he sits down and meal plans with you. It's fine if you guys don't know it all immediately, however it is critical that you both traverse that learning curve. Doing it with a partner will make it easier and more enjoyable for you both.

My DH used to have diabetes until he lost a ton of weight. Unfortunately, with his health issues, some of the weight came came back so his numbers are climbing, but anyway....... For months, we measured, measured, measured . 1/2 cup of rice, 4 oz by weight of chicken, etc. Now it the time for both of you to start looking at food values. Yes, you may cook and serve but you don't want it to be the food police and be the bad guy for only giving a single cookie instead of a slab of cake.
 
Whoa, it’s been longer than I thought since I posted here. Sorry :flower3:

So, things have been pretty easy going since he’s been home. We rarely get on each other’s nerves and if we do, it passes fairly quickly.

He has been doing outstanding on controlling his diet and getting his numbers under control. It took us both a while to adjust but now we’ve got the hang of it. I’m really proud of him for sticking with it. The best part is that the results are visible every day when he tests his blood before he eats.

He is still in two casts but he was cleared for weight bearing on Friday. He’ll still use his chair when we go out but he’s so happy to be able to stand up and stretch again. Yesterday he went upstairs and revisited all his LEGO he hasn’t seen in months lol

We’re still going to look for a new place to live with minimal stairs inside and out. It’ll be easier for both of us now and in the future.

He’s thinking he might want to try easing back into being at work. His boss is happy to have him back. He just needs a doctors note explaining his restrictions. He’s going to start with part time hours and ease back into full time. This was 100% his decision. I haven’t hinted at all either way about him going back to work.

Grace is still doing ok in Victoria..it’s hard to believe she’ll be home in September, which isn’t as far away as it once seemed. We still have our record of talking every day. It’s as much for her as it is for me. Her boyfriend and her are already looking for a place to live when they get back so maybe if the right place shows up they’ll come back early. That’s a long, long shot, but I can still hope lol

That’s all I have for now. I hope everyone is having a relaxing day, or a busy one if that’s your thing.
 
Holy cow, I can’t believe it’s been a month since I posted here. I decided I’ll give one final update and then let this thread fade away for good.

I just spent the afternoon reading this thread. First off, I can’t believe how far we’ve come. It really put me back in the moment to read it all again. Things could have ended so differently and I’ll never be able to put into words how lucky we were, and continue to be.

Second, I can’t thank you all enough for being there for me when I needed you most. You talked me off the ledge more than a few times. If you ever need me, I will be there for each and every one of you. We truly are a community and a family, complete with our wacky uncles LOL

For us, right now, life is pretty sweet. I was recently rehired at a place I worked at 10 years ago. It was my favourite job and I’m so excited to go back. It’s part time for now, and might move to full time in the fall.

Richard is starting back to work in a few weeks. The account he worked on before he got sick is gone so he is being trained on a new account. He knows he’ll be tired for the first few weeks, but it will be a good tired.

He is almost 100% back to how he was before this all started. He’s still in casts, and he still uses a walker when he goes out, but he can walk just fine around the house. He can easily do stairs again so he’s left his hospital bed for his own. His wrists still bother him but he is seeing a doctor who’s working to figure out why they’re still affected. He’s still doing great with keeping his blood sugar under control as well.

Grace and her boyfriend will probably be home in a few weeks. They wanted to tough it out til September, but the situation just goes from bad to worse. The roommates are awful and they just want out of there. They’ll stay here until they can find a place of their own. We’re still in our same home. I look to see what else is available, but this house is pretty perfect for our needs. It’s pretty much smack in between both our works, and it makes bussing a lot easier. Plus, I don’t want to have to go back to sharing a bathroom LOL

Chewie still isn’t home, but I think we’ll work on getting that done in the next week or so. He spent the long weekend with us and he wasn’t in the way or underfoot.

So, unless I forgot something, I think that’s it. Thank you all so much for reading this far.

Kim
 
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Oh, one last thing. I’m sending Richard the link for this thread to read. He doesn’t remember the first few weeks so this is an accurate account. Good thing I didn’t say too many bad things about him 😬
 

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