~*~*Pez's Planning Journal*~*~ (Too stressed, postponing my planning for now)

Pezalicious

Mouseketeer
Joined
Jun 25, 2007
I decided I should start a planning journal to keep track of my ideas, even though it's so far away. 50 years from now, I'd like to be able to read what I was thinking at the time, so I'll be writing about all the thoughts going through my head, not just the decisions I make. Be forewarned: I will probably go back and forth on nearly every detail til my plans have to be locked in completely.

About me: I'm 2 months to the day away from turning 30. I used to think that was so old, but now that it's here, I feel like it's still pretty young. I think Disney has given me some permanent pixie dust, so I'll always be young at heart. :goodvibes I was a latch key kid when growing up, so spent my afternoons playing video games, which I still play to this day. Yeah, I'm a geek to the core! I used to go to Disneyland on vacation with my grandparents, but it was always pretty miserable because my brother and I couldn't do what we wanted, and our cousins ALWAYS got sick or hurt, and were constantly fighting. But going on trips with my mom was quite another thing and we always had the best of times together. Early on in our trips there, we would let our family know and my grandparents would invite themselves along, thus changing what we like to do drastically. One time we were so desperate to do anything we wanted, we told them we were going to grab a ride during the fireworks that they were waiting for. They thought we'd be a half hour, but 2 hours later, we finally found them again. We felt guilty, but we had a BLAST in those 2 hours! It was like 2 kids who snuck out of their house to go to a party. We felt light hearted and free and it was wonderful! We've made several trips together since then, and right now we have annual passes to Disneyland and 2 upcoming trips. My mom really is my best friend. I don't know what I would have turned into without her there in my life. :hug:

Other than Disney, I'm obsessed with Pez. I have a pez tattoo on my left ankle and have over 500 dispensers (lots of duplicates in my collection), as well as displays, promotional items, and all kinds of stuff. I don't know what it is about Pez, but I love it!

My family is pretty broken and I haven't been on speaking terms with my dad in 7 or 8 years. I have have an older brother from my mom and dad's marriage. We're not close, but he's really turned his life around and is a good guy. I also have a younger brother who my dad and ex-stepmom#1 adopted from Romania. He's 10 years younger and we're just now trying to get to know one another again (my dad wouldn't let him talk to either my brother or me when he was still a minor). Most other people in my family don't keep in touch, so the wedding will be pretty small, at least where my family's concerned.

About my guy: He's 33 with a master's degree in theoretical physics. He loves sports (Philadelphia teams) and video games. He's a geek at heart, just like me, and I love him because of it! I've never been with someone so loving, caring, and considerate. He's also got 13 tattoos and I'm sure we'll both get more over time. I'm considering giving him a tattoo as a wedding present (I find tats very sexy!). He's the first of 3 children, and his parents had them when they were only 16 and 17. Despite their young ages, they did a great job of bringing him up! When we met, he hated Disney. He had only been to WDW once when he was little (8ish). During a character meal, Goofy kepy messing with him, putting his hands on his hear and it made DBF mad, so he kicked him!!! We recently got back from a trip to DLR where DBF had a great time, but he still swears Goofy is a jerk and threatened to kick him again every time we saw him in the parks! At the moment, I'm leaning towards inviting Goofy to our reception!


How we met:

Believe it or not, we met on a video game message board!! :rotfl: The last 3 guys I had dated all forgot to tell me they had another woman on the side, so I was completely fed up with men and decided to quit them for a good long time! Tony and I started talking and eventually it became clear that he liked me, but I was convinced he wasn't serious, and I couldn't imagine meeting someone from the internet, let alone dating him! So I didn't take him seriously at all. I was convinced we would hate each other in person and I came up with all kinds of reasons it would never work. But, I ran out of excuses, we met, and now I can't imagine ever being with someone else.

The proposal:

It hasn't happened and there's a strong possibility it never will! :rolleyes:



Despite no proposal, we've picked a date. We're saving our money and eliminating any kind of debt we have (a family member stole my credit and I'm stuck paying it off, and he had a bit of credit card debt from college) so that we start 100% fresh in our marriage. For our anniversary, we didn't quite know what our official date should be, so we chose one we'd remember (even though it's months after we got together): April 1st! We're thinking April 1, 2009 night be a good day for a wedding. I really like the idea - the original idea was mine, afterall - but I also really, really, really LOVE WDW during the holidays. The date is probably going to change, but we'll see. It's hard because by the time we get married, DBF will probably be a teacher, so that limits us to mostly school holidays, and I hate traveling to Disney when school's out. :snooty:


We're still torn between doing an intimate and a custom. I want to do a custom, but if we spend that much money, I want to make sure everyone enjoys themselves, and I'm just not sure I have the right guests for what I want to do. I might go more towards the dessert party type of thing and plan the type of reception I want as a vow renewal, but I've got time to play around with my ideas and find something that works for everyone.

I'll get a picture of my rings up sometime soon. We still need to get them refinished and we're changing out the center diamond for a ruby or sapphire.

I guess that's it for now.. work just landed on my desk, so I've gotta get to it!
 
Yay! I'll join you! (now I have to go back and read it)

A Philly guy? You must have got one of the good ones. I cheer for Philly teams too, but I only really care about the Flyers. I cheer for the rest unless they are playing again my teams.

Good luck with your planning, we'll have to bounce a lot of ideas off each other.
 
I really do need to do some work now, but I couldn't help myself! I looked up Easter for 2009, and it's on April 12, so now I'm thinking it would be a miserable time to travel. :(

Must think of new date when the parks are deserted and cool.
 
Assuming the question comes for me in the next few months, I aiming for really early in 2009. Our potential Best Man and Matron of Honor are both teachers so I will have to pick something that is school vacation related. Coinciding with a federal holiday will work good for me.
 


Must think of new date when the parks are deserted and cool.

First half of February, baby!!!! But I'm biased... ;) The end of January would be good too. Or early December - it might not be as dead, but it will still be nothing like the holidays, and all the rides will be open.

Congrats on starting your planning journal! :goodvibes
 
I can't believe I'm going to post this picture, but it's the only one I have on a computer of the two of us. We both look so terrible, but I think it's hilarious that we've both got one eye shut!! He's blind in one eye, and I'm near-sighted in one eye, far-sighted in the other, so we both had our bad eye shut so we could see our targets better. :rotfl:

The pic kinda reminds me of Flotsom and Jetsom from the Little Mermaid. :)


KT.jpg
 
I'm 1 month and whatever my ticker says away from turning 30! I'm looking forward to it. I guess I'm excited enough about it that we're getting married that day! :)

I recommend early-mid December (again, biased!). :thumbsup2 I am a teacher and I am taking 3 days off from school for the wedding and then 2 weeks of Christmas break for the honeymoon. It's perfect for us. I could never have a summer wedding because it's just too hot down here. There aren't many days in the year that are not hot here in Florida! There also aren't many times of year that Disney is not crowded anymore compared to the last few years, which is a good thing...
 


We talked about the dates this weekend and figured out what to do. January and February are out because of birthdays and Valentine's. March is out because of spring break. May is out because that's when my mom and dad married, divorced, and when my dad married my 1st evil stepmother (he's now on evil-stepmom #2). So there's bad ju-ju for me when it comes to May. June through September are out because of the heat, and then starts more birthdays and the holidays. That leaves us only with April, so we chose Thursday, April 30th, 2009. :cool1:

We talked to my mom about the wedding and she wants to give me a really nice wedding. She really, really wants to pay for most of it, which is so completely sweet and generous, I don't even know what to say. I definitely plan to make a big contribution, if she'll let me, but I think I might hold back the costs a bit so I don't take advantage. We're definitely going with a custom wedding so that we don't have to limit our guest count, though I'm hoping to keep it very low. I just want the invitation to be there for any friends who might be able to afford the trip, but I know there's a good chance most won't come because of the distance. We might end up with under 18 and that's just fine with me. I get self-conscious when I'm center of attention, especially when there are a lot of people around.

I really like the idea of having the ceremony in Epcot and one of my favorite pavilions is Japan, so that's what DBF and I decided on. But I showed my mom the photos and she immediately said 'I hate it!' If I want it there, she'd be more than willing, but I think I should keep my guests and especially my mom in mind, so now I'm trying to think of a new location. There is a pretty big distance between the bride and groom and their guests in Japan, so I'll see if I can fall in love with another location.

I'm also a bit worried about the time of the ceremony if we do an Epcot wedding. Having guests get picked up as early as 7:45am sounds a bit rough. I plan to have the MK shoot, though, so I wouldn't mind having such an early ceremony and taking a break mid-day for a nap.

The only other news is tomorrow we'll be mailing out my engagement and wedding rings to be re-finished and to have the center stone changed into either a ruby, sapphire, or tanzanite. It'll be a surprise to me, but I'm guessing he'll pick the ruby because he really likes red. :goodvibes

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I treated my mom to our first ever WDW trip back when she turned 50. She's turning 60 next year and she wants to take me for her 60th and my 30th. She's so sweet!! We'll be doing a Christmas trip, which means I'll be there 5ish months before the wedding. It's a bit earlier than they like, but I'm hoping I can have a planning session/cake tasting then, because otherwise I'll have to do everything over the phone. It also means I get my Christmas fix in the parks and won't be missing it during my honeymoon. :cheer2:
 
I mentioned this in another post, but I've only been to 3 weddings and due to varying circumstances, I don't really remember much about any of them. So I feel like I'm a chicken running around with its head cut off. I'm just plain clueless.

It's really too early for me to plan much anyway, but I wanted a place to put my ideas. Since I'm doing a custom wedding, I need a way to spend $10,000... should be easy enough and I'll probably go over, but right now I'm actually worried. I want a small wedding - no more than 25-30 people, probably less. While I love flowers, for the most part I don't really care, so other than a nice bouquet, I probably won't be spending much, if anything, on flowers. The same goes for center pieces. Maybe I'm too laid back to care about those details? I dunno. I just see them as an unnecessary expense that won't add a whole lot to my day.

The cake is something I'll splurge on and I'm still trying to figure out a design for it. DBF isn't a huge Disney fan, so I want to surprise him by theming the cake to what he likes. At the moment, it will probably be a Halo cake (popular video game) with the main guy and girl character on top (I'll hopefully glue a veil and top hat on them when I make the topper). Though I'm really tempted to add a bit of 'me' to it and add a cake topper that doesn't match the theme of the cake. I collect Pez, so I thought these would be really cute:

bridegroom.GIF


But even with an expensive cake, I'm going to have a lot of money left to spend. I can't do an escape wedding, either. I'm sure once I go to my planning session I'll find a way to spend it all plus some, but right now it's a struggle. I'm a planner, too, so I like to know everything far in advance so there are no unexpected expenses or surprises.

For a while, I had considered doing the GMR dinner or something at the Adventurer's Club, but I really feel I have the wrong crowd for that, so I've tossed those ideas in the garbage, even though they appealed to me the most. Actually, I'm saving the ideas for a vow renewal since people are under less of an obligation to come to that, so I'll feel like I can do anything I want without worrying (I like to gear plans to the audience, even when it comes to my wedding).


I'm considering buying 2 dresses for my wedding. I'm hoping to wear one to the MK shoot (hopefully the morning of our wedding), and then I'll change into the other one for the wedding (and surprise my boyfriend with the new look), and then change back into the first one for a dessert party. If I do this, they will be distinctly different, but I'm worried DBF wouldn't even notice! :lmao:


Colors and a theme I'm kind of stuck on, too. We love red and black, so maybe red, black and white would work. But then I really like pink, so maybe black, grey, and pink. Then again, I don't even know what I'd do with the colors, since I don't really care about all the extra flowers and centerpieces, so I might just make sure that DBF and I don't clash, and that my bouquet also doesn't clash with us. We originally wanted a nightmare before christmas theme, but we're getting married in the wrong season. My mom's nickname for me since I was really little has been 'Beast' and since I love the movie, I thought about Beauty and the Beast, but if the cake doesn't match the theme, do I even have a theme? Not really. I'll probably just mix and match different things that I like and call it a day. It might not all go together, but hopefully it will represent me and Tony.

I really want to trash one of my dresses, but I'm stuck on ideas. It seems like anything I'd want to do will probably be impossible, due to Disney's safety concerns. I'm still waiting to be inspired with an idea, but it probably won't come to me. Worst case scenario, after we get back from our honeymoon, DBF and I can go play a game of paintball with me in my gown. ;) I don't think I could trash it to that extent, though, plus I don't want any welts from being hit. But I'd love to hear my boyfriend running around on the field screaming 'Bride down!' :goodvibes


I plan to give out welcome bags instead of favors, and the only semi-creative idea I've had for them so far is to make a bride and groom antenna ball of some sort with our wedding date on them. Lame to some, but I love cute antenna balls! I'll probably go to the hobby store soon and pick up some supplies to see if I'd be any good at making them.

We shipped off my rings to get them refinished and to get the center stone replaced. I really liked these rings, but when we were laying in bed one night and I was test wearing them to see if they're comfortable, he said they look like a smiley face. It never looked that way til he said it, but now that's all I can see! If he replaces the center stone with a ruby, it'll be my Rudolph ring, guiding me through any bad snowstorm that comes my way. :thumbsup2

I'll post a pic of my rings once they're back and I'm allowed to see them again. For now, here's a before shot:

Picture016.jpg


Excuse all the lines on my hand!! I tried taking a normal pic of the ring, but it wouldn't turn out. I switched my camera to the macro setting and with that, you see every single itty bitty detail up close. It makes my hands look terrible, when they're really not *that* bad!
 
After looking at your ring picture, I had to look at my hands closely. They would probably look the same in a picture! I like the black, grey and pink idea. I think if you guys do a spring wedding, you might be able to find more pink flowers. It is just a color I associate more with the spring time.

About the budget. I believe if you have a dessert party on the same day as the wedding, it gets counted toward you minimum. I was concerned about minimums and I realized that I would rather spend more money on food than on decoration, etc. People will always remember the food. (Like the dry filet at the wedding we went to last year. Yes, dry filet).
 
first off, congrats on your engagement, this is great news!!! i too was worried about meeting my minimum...i feel like we'll have between 65-75 guests and my budget thus far is almost twice the min...though i'm working on that...there are a LOT of things to take into account, food and drinks are 3/4 of my budget and transportation and floral are another big chunk...don't worry about the minimum, you WILL hit it...i tried SO HARD to stay right around mine...
 
I'm so sorry for how long this will likely be. I just need a place to vent right now.


I think this will be my last post for this planning journal and I'll start a new one when I'm feeling better and not so overwhelmed.

Some combination of it being the holidays, planning my wedding, and some recent family news have let it really sink in just how broken my family is. Old wounds are open and fresh once again, and I'm no longer feeling at all like myself.

When I think about my wedding, I want only one person there (other than my future husband, that is!)- my mom. She's been wonderful all my life, and I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for her. I couldn't even begin to go into all she's done for me, but I couldn't have asked for a better mother.

Other than her, I'm not close to anyone in my family. I stopped talking to my father many years ago, and while I never thought I would speak with him again, events that took place over the last 6 half a year have only solidified that.

My mom hates that our family is so broken and would really like my older and younger brother to be there, as well as my older brother's fiance, and my aunt. My aunt and I had a falling out years ago when she went through a crazy phase, and while we get along together just fine, we'll never be close and if I didn't live in the area, I can't see her keeping in touch with me. My older brother sexually abused me when I was around 7, so things have always been very awkward since then. I love him and I've forgiven him, and for a while we were really close friends. But that was when he lived close. During all the years he's been far away, he doesn't keep in touch. During a conversation we had a few months ago, we came the closest we ever have to talking about what happened, and he said his past haunts him. I think maybe, when he's not around, it's easier for him not to talk with me because I probably remind him of a really bad time, and make him feel guilty. For me, it's easiest when we keep in touch on a regular basis. When we do, most of the awkwardness goes away and we have a really nice friendship.

My older brother was actually abused by our stepmom years after what happened to me. It lasted much longer for him, and she caused way more problems for him as a result. My dad even had suspicions that that were having an affair, but did nothing about it, and later when he found out, he was actually jealous of my brother (instead of being angry at himself for not protecting a 14 year old boy!). That shows my dad's character right there.

A couple years ago, it came out that my younger brother (adopted by my dad and ex-stepmom - not my mom's child) was abused by his step-brother (from my dad's 3rd marriage). This lasted off and on for 5 years, and my dad KNEW that his stepson had abused other children in his past. Yet he still left them alone for full weekends and even had them sharing a room. I'm so completely disgusted by him, I could never even begin to express it. My dad kicked the guy out, but told my little brother to keep it a secret. Well, fast forward a couple of years and my little brother decided to press charges. My dad kicked him out of the house for that and started telling our family that my brother wasn't abused, but that he was curious and came onto the guy. He helped protect his stepson, and recently child protective services decided to drop the case. They don't doubt the abuse happened, but they say there's no way to prove it.

I'm stressed because of all this, but I'm also withdrawing a bit. I'm trying to fight it, but it's hard. It's really hard for me to talk to either of my brothers. It's hard to talk with my older brother because recent events have made our past very fresh for both of us, and that makes it so very awkward. And it's hard to speak with my younger brother because he can't know about my past (he lives with my older brother, and I don't want my past to interfere in any way with the support one brother can give to the other). I can't really explain it, but it's really stressful for me.

For my wedding day, I don't want any of the past following me around, lingering over all of us with things unsaid. I don't want an awkward day. On the other hand, I don't want to break my family up even more, and if it can help even a little to bring us all closer, I feel I should invite them all, despite our past and present circumstances. I'm just so torn and all I want is a happy day with no additional stresses or anything making it awkward.

It's also hard on me because, in a way, I'm feeling the loss of my father again. Not so much who he is, but the idea of a father, and being walked down the aisle by him or having a dance with him.

When I first started planning, I wanted something really unique and memorable that everyone would enjoy. Now I've lost all my motivation. I plunked down a deposit to Randy, but that's been it. All the work I've done so far seems so blah to me, and I just can't get into it. I can't get over wondering if the day will be a disasted because of my part of the family, but I also can't just decide against inviting them. Plus, my mom will be a wreck, so it would be good for her to my aunt and my older brother there for her.

I'm hoping I feel motivated about my wedding again after the holidays, but right now all I see is disaster ahead.

Oh yeah, and as if I wasn't stressed enough, my period was almost a week late, which made for a VERY hellish week for us, not to mention the one false positive I got because I don't know how to properly pee on a stick! We're so careful to not get pregnant, and yet for a short while, we thought the odds were against us. We got through it, though, and my boyfriend was so incredibly supportive, it only makes me love him more. I guess there's something positive in everything, so I just have to search for it with all that's been going on with my family.
 
:hug:

I'm so sorry about all the stuff you're having to deal with! Can you talk through any of this with a counselor? It might be nice to have an objective (and professional) perspective, although I know you probably just wanted to vent.

One thought occurred to me about missing the idea of a father, since yours turned out to be so crummy. I lost my mom a few years ago, and when I miss the idea of a mother, I try to look for the qualities of mothering expressed by the people in my life who love me. For you, this might be seeing the "fathering" qualities expressed by your DF - the way he takes care of you and shelters you - or by male friends. There may even be women in your life who express these qualities - take the strength and support of your mom, for example.

I hope that you start to feel better soon - we'll all still be here when you start your PJ again! :goodvibes
 
:hug:

So, so sorry for all you are going through and have been through!! You sound like a very strong, forgiving person. I hope you have many better days ahead and find the peace that you are looking for! Until then vent as needed and we'll be looking forward to many happy planning entries in the future!
 
:hug: :grouphug:

You can always come and vent here. You'd be suprised how many similar experiences others have had. I can't match you incident for incident, but my past is muddled too. I think you're a stong, amazing women. Take some time off from planning. When you come back, we'll still be here. And whatever decisions you ultimately make for your wedding day, I know it will all turn out well. :hug:
 
Thanks for the support!! :grouphug:

I think I just got frustrated to the point where I could only see the bad, not the good. But I spend a whole day cooking for Christmas - I made 2 types of peanut butter cookies, divinity, a peach pie, a pumpkin pie, chinese noodle cookies (a tradition), and the next day I made a honey-pineapple ham, twice baked potatoes, dinner rolls, and sausage and gravy. Cooking relaxes me and I can't get enough, especially when I'm mostly stuck on a diet (but there are no diets for Christmas!). Did I mention I was cooking for 3 people, including myself?! :rotfl:

But cooking helped a ton! This whole thing have brought along quite a few changes, starting with calling off the Fairy Tale Wedding. :eek: I looked at the situation and let it sit for a while, then decided a few nights ago. I can either worry over things or do my best to make them better. So I called up my brothers, caught up for a while, and will be visiting them both in Vegas at the end of the month with my mom and my boyfriend. We're going to scout Vegas wedding sites. The basic idea is to do the easiest wedding possible without it being a 'Vegas-style' wedding. Vegas is close, so I can get in lots of site visits and help improve my friendship with my brothers over the next year. Then my wedding will feel relaxed and family-like, instead of awkward. I think a lot of good can come out of the change, not to mention saving my mom money. She really wants to pay for most of it and has basically begged me to let her give me my dream wedding. So I'll have this dream this time, and I'll have my Fairy Tale dream wedding as a vow renewal (it's already been approved by my boyfriend!).

The other change we're making is our honeymoon. Since we're not getting married at Disney World, and since my guy isn't a huge Disney fan in the first place, we're changing it. The plan right now is to go to Japan, where I can have a mini 2 day Disneymoon at TokyoDisney, and then see the rest of Japan during the cherry blossom season. I can't wait, I really hope we can pull this off!!

Thanks again - the Vegas journal will start once I get more info! :goodvibes
 
Even though you had to change your Disney Wedding to somewhere else it'll still be fun to read through the process ----ESPECIALLY JAPAN!! I can't wait to read about your honeymoon!
 
The important thing is you'll still be married!:goodvibes Disney will be there when and if you want a VR! Tokyodisney- wow!

Good luck to you, much happiness to you both! :lovestruc

We'd still love to hear about your plans and pictures of your wedding!
 

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