Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

DD has been in an off campus apt from the start, but it's furnished, so we haven't had to worry about things like sofas, beds, desks, etc. She has apt hopped a couple of times, but has stayed in the same complex. She loves the location and the social scene where she is and has already signed a contract for next year. Both rent and parking fees are going up though, so she's casually keeping an eye out for other options. Her current complex is sought after with a wait list of kids trying to get in, so if she does find something else, selling her contract shouldn't be a problem. She mentioned staying and just letting her parking spot go. That would mean saving $50 a month (that she's responsible for out of her part time job funds) but it would also mean battling it out for a spot on the street. She had to do that when she first moved in because there aren't enough spots for everyone. I think it would be very hard to go back to that after having a reserved spot underground though, especially in the winter. It will be interesting to see what she decides.

DD gave up her spot on the track team, which came with a per diem she could use for food anywhere on campus, as well as access to a nicely stocked athlete's lounge for snacks, so I'm sure her grocery spending will be going up. I'm just not sure how much since this is a fairly recent thing.

I just booked airfare to submit to a study abroad program DD is doing in London and Paris this spring/summer, but I only booked a one way ticket, because I'm trying to convince DH we should go pick her up and spend a couple of weeks with her in Europe. I prefer not to go in summer because of higher prices, crowds, and heat.... but summer is better than not going at all, so we shall see. We need to decide soon-ish, so wish me luck! :)
 
DD is settling into her internship. Of course the first day she was unsure but she says it's fine now. The first 40 hours will be unpaid and she's doing 8 hours a week. She was wishing to make a little money to get through so she wouldn't have to use savings. I had her pull up her W-2 and I did her taxes- she's getting over $900 so she's breathing easier now. I did offer to help with rent but she declined. She should be fine now, but I'll probably send her a grocery gift card. Starting in May she'll be covering a maternity leave at the business so she'll be making money then for sure.
 
Hi everyone,

Just wanted to give a quick update. As I shared before, my DD had a very rough summer this past summer (hanging with a bad crowd, skipping out on work, making bad choices). Luckily everything she did broke her way, so she had very few consequences, but things could have easily gone the other way. We were very relieved when she went back to school. First semester sophomore year did not go well. She took 4 classes, dropped one and didn't get a high enough grade in another for it to count for her major. We had a come to Jesus meeting with her over Christmas break to go over what went wrong, what she could do differently this semester and whether a change in Majors was needed. She knew she screwed up. She said she partied too much, didn't see her professors soon enough or get help when she started to struggle and tried to study in her apartment (which is party central) instead of the library. She made some changes this semester - changed her major, met with her advisor, meets with her profs, studies in the library, and has to go through all the academic probation steps with her sorority - and things are going so much better for her! Right now she has all As and Bs. She said changing her Major was huge. She finally feels like she is intelligent and belongs at her university. Yay! This is a big positive change because she was so down last semester that she was questioning whether college in general was for her.

She met and starting dating a great young man (her first boyfriend) right around Thanksgiving. She was so happy and excited about him and saw him all the time, including over Christmas break because he lives 10 minutes from us. They belong to the same friend group at college. Then out of nowhere, she broke up with him the week before Valentine's Day. He was very caught off guard and heart broken. Her friends were all shocked, and her dad and I were baffled as well. She said that all of a sudden she didn't think they were right for each other. He wants to work on a farm after graduation (agri-business major), and she wants to work in a city. She started to panic about dating him long term, so she ended it. Well after about a week, she was miserable. I knew something was wrong but couldn't put my finger on it. Finally after two weeks of texts and crying phone calls, she came clean. She had had a full on anxiety attack about her future. She was so crazed by the anxiety that she did the only thing she could to make it go away - she broke up with him. After the anxiety dissipated, she realized what a huge mistake she had made. She missed her boyfriend terribly; she felt awful about hurting him and was upset and scared about the level of anxiety she had felt and how that anxiety could mess up her future happiness. She also shared that she has some social anxiety and self esteem issues.

I had no idea she was struggling like this, but after doing some reading online, it all kind of made sense. She has ADHD and often struggles with impulsivity and decision making (the summer is a perfect example). She feels like it causes her to mess things up and disappoint people constantly, which has eroded her self esteem. When a commitment (to a person, or job, or project, or major) gets too hard or expects a lot of her, she starts to panic and cuts and runs to escape the feeling. She realized that she had a problem and asked me for help. I told her that when the anxiety gets bad enough that it is hurting the people she cares about and ruining her happiness, it is time to get professional help. She is starting counseling this week. She also (finally) shared all this with her boyfriend 2.5 weeks after breaking up with him. She told him she broke up with him to end her anxiety attack; she missed him; and she wanted to get help for her anxiety so it wouldn't ruin things again. He has been very supportive, and they are now seeing each other again but moving slowly. My girl is happy. This has been a real eye opener for me, and I feel awful that I didn't pick up on her struggles earlier. But better late than never!
 
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Thanks for the update Mrs. Ciz!
So glad you were able to get to the heart of your DD's issues. It sounds like she's very well supported, and has the right help in place.
My very best to her!!!


My DD is taking her midterms this week. She had the dreaded OChem exam yesterday morning. Glad that's over!!
We leave for FL early Sunday morning, and it will be a welcome break for DD....our winter has been brutal and we all NEED some warmth and sunshine!!
 
In one week my daughter will be home for spring break. After that, in two month she will have completed her 2nd year. I caN’t believe how fast this year flew by. I’m looking forward to summer break. It will be dd’s first summer off from school beside after senior year, but we are taking a family cruise to The Caribbean. Also going to Laughlin and maybe Lake Tahoe. This summer will be a summer to relax and enjoy family.
 


Yeah, I would find things to worry about no matter where study abroad is, that's just how I am! DD20 is not going anywhere, but DD17 will probably do a short term study abroad.

Today we got a letter with instructions for DD's community college graduation ceremony. Just 5.5 weeks away! She's kind of ready but will miss some some of her classmates.
 
DD has food allergies and some other medical issues, which is why I worry about her being in another country. Luckily, we've been to Dublin and it was easy for her to eat there. Also, we have family in Galway, which is only 2 hours away if an emergency arises. But I still worry.
 
DD has food allergies and some other medical issues, which is why I worry about her being in another country. Luckily, we've been to Dublin and it was easy for her to eat there. Also, we have family in Galway, which is only 2 hours away if an emergency arises. But I still worry.

Well, that's a different story. It's good you have family there if she needs anything. Things like that would make me worry as well.
 
So coming to the end of year 2 already! It is crazy how fast this is going. My daughter came home and surprised me for my birthday 2 weeks ago. I will be heading to Boston April 27 to move her out of her dorm into a sublet for the next two months- Finals start this week so everyone has to be out of the dorms by the 27th. She has to stay 2 extra months because she is on work co-op and those run 6 months. She picked her classes for next semester and got everything she wanted when she wanted- so she has classes only Tues, Wed and Thurs and one class she is doing online- so 18 credits for next semester. Her boyfriend will be working in upstate NY so they are planning on every week either he will go to Boston or she will go Upstate NY from Friday until Monday. She has big gaps of open time between classes on Tues to fit in 5 ours of work study and she starts classes late on Wednesday (she goes until 8:30pm though) so she can do another 5 hours of work study Wednesday morning. Things are working out well in Boston for her, she loves her work co-op job at a pharmaceutical company she has been working since Jan. and she really loves the full time salary she is getting from working- she is paying her own rent plus paid off a Disney trip she is going on and managed to save some money too.
 
I know...I can't believe we're almost half-way through! My son finishes sophomore year in mid-May (and is annoyed that he has two finals on his birthday). I do get to go see him Easter weekend, though. :)

He has an internship for the summer, so he won't be home much. It is at the company where his older brother works, though, so he will be able to stay with them for the summer.

It seems like he's had two tough semesters in a row (or maybe he just loves to send panic-inducing texts to me). He's all registered for next semester and has only 16 credits, so he's hoping it feels a little easier. They made it through the housing lottery well enough to get an on-campus apartment, so he'll be out of the dorms. He'll be with the two roommates that he has now and a fourth person that he's met only once, but at least they all have their own rooms for a little alone space. The two roommates that he has this year are a much better match than the one he had last year, but it's still tough always having someone in the same space. This means no more meal plan (hooray!), but I was planning to work with him on more cooking skills this summer. He'll learn as he goes, I guess.
 
My DD will be moving home around May 9th I believe. The golf course asked her back as beverage cart girl, and she accepted....with much reduced hours.
DD's summer will consist of lots and lots of studying! She's signed up to take the DAT late August, and will be hitting the books 6 days a week, 6 hours a day. She will be involved in a DAT "bootcamp" that leads the intense study schedule.
This test is a huge deal for her, as a strong score will help her achieve admission into the dental school of her choice, fingers crossed!
 
Yesterday we went to Portfolio Day where the graphic design, photography, web design, and animation kids show off their stuff to parents and potential employers. DD put together take-away packs that included a bracelet with her website imprinted, or a button, and stickers of her art and a magnet with her contact info. She gave away a lot of business cards but no resumes, but that seemed to be the case for everyone. Only 2 weeks of school left.

This week she started working 3 full days a week at her internship as the other lady is now on maternity leave. The first morning on her own was a little overwhelming, but she's in the groove now.
 
My DD got a job on campus (7+ hour car drive from home) this summer. I’m really going to miss her. She won’t be home for her birthday.

Her brother is graduating from HS this year and got a job in Alaska leaving the day after graduation.

It’s going to be a quiet summer with just youngest - HS class 2021 - at home. Guess we better get used to it.....
 

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