OT: Facing a tough decision

[AJRitz]

Chances are, I know him. I'm originally from that area and knew a lot of Chachere's growing up. My friend lived literally in the factory's back yard.

As for a little update on the original subject of the thread, I've gone forward with the process and we're taking it slow. My wife has applied for jobs there and we've begun looking at apartments/rentals. And on Thursday, we'll meet with a realtor to see if we can sell our house.

That, right there, I believe will be the biggest hurdle. My wife is a teacher, a very good teacher, and I think she'll have no problem getting a job. She's sold on the move now, also. She's looked at the pros and cons and believes the move will be best for our family.

It's all going to come down to if we can sell this house. It's a manufactured home, which they say are like boats, so I'm worried about that. It needs a few minor repairs that I've put off because I'm always working. The lot is nice (two mature Oaks and a pretty big yard). The question is, can it sell in the timetable we're faced with now? I know for a fact we can't afford two house notes at one time. So, if this house doesn't sell, we can't move.

Has anybody ever used or heard of someone who used one of those "quick buy" services that purchase your homes quickly? That would be last resort type stuff, but it's something we're considering if we feel like this move is going to be better in the long run.

The problem isn't the "quick buy" folks per se, but rather that they're not necessarily going to offer you a quick buy that covers the outstanding balance on your note. That means you're in a short-sale situation with the lender, and can hurt your credit significantly going forward.

 

[Cin]

I did the same thing when I moved here almost 7 years ago and we love it here. I have a much better job and making more than ever before and it is nice to be far enough away that we aren't caught up in family drama. It is hard though when holidays roll around and we are a 12 hr drive away so we don't get to attend many events as a result. That is a downside. And airfare is just too costly to justify flying much like we used to for visits. But I do love living here and it was a culture shock at first and I have had to learn a lot of Spanish here to do my job as a lot of our guests speak only Spanish. I am loving it though and I like being called "mamacita" or the shortened form "mama" or "mija" (meaning daughter) or "flacki" (slim, slender, skinny) and I had to get used to a lot of cultural differences from what I was used to. I am still learning new foods here and new phrases and new customs. It's been fun and educational. I uprooted the family and we moved here when my DS started 8th grade so he went to 1 year of middle school and then all of HS with the same kids. It's been great only having 3 seasons (I hate winter and cold) and we love the beach and being outdoors year 'round. Our weather here is the same as Florida's. Snow here is considered a "miracle". I do wish though in afterthought that I had chosen FL and a place much much closer to WDW. I'm jealous you might get to live a few short hours away! Just kidding. But wow that would be wonderful living near the Mouse. Best wishes!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I'm not a dad, but I can tell you a little about moving. My DH and I met and married in a small town where my parents still live. We lived there for a few years until it was time for him to be promoted. We then transferred 10 hours away from everything that we ever knew, with two young children in tow. I got bored and had another baby, he excelled at work.

It was exciting and new but we missed our family and after two years we transferred again a little closer to only 5 or 6 hours away. Again, exciting and new. I loved our home and our friends there, but we were spending every holiday and vacation to try to get home to our family.

Two years later we transferred back to Alabama, about an hour & 1/2 from my family and it has been great. This was a lateral move (same Co.) for DH this last time and we have been very happy.

Just this week, DH said that he could put in for a promotion. It would only be about 8K a year more but we would have to move to a larger city (b"ham) and he would have to drive in to Down town everyday. The kids would have to uproot from all of their friends, but we were all behind him if that's that he wanted. Seriously, I left it up to him. I have always supported him 100% and he has never let me down.

I asked him about it and he said he couldn't do it to the kids. Lauren is just starting college (free) here in town. Lindsey is a cheerleader and very involved at school. Our son has friends here and is playing football. He didn't want for them to have to start over for 8K a year more. You just have to stop and think about how much a big move will effect you and your family and decide if it's worth it or not. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it's really not.

Even with all of that said, moving for us that very first time when the kids were small did wonders for our marriage. We became closer than we had ever been because we had to lean on each other in stead of friends or parents. even years later I feel like all of that made our marriage stronger.

I know if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I would move while they are young and see how it goes. Once they get to the 7th & 8th grade it becomes a little harder for kids because of childhood friends, and activities or sports. Once they are in HS, I wouldn't do it unless I HAD to.

All in all, this is something that you and your wife will have to discuss and lay it all out there. It's a BIG change, but change can be a good thing.

Good luck!

 

[jason4024]

Not much advice to give. When we decided to have children, we figured the best place to do it, would be at home. So we moved from Philadelphia back to the area we grew up in. I think it was the best decision for my kids. They have great relationships with all their grandparents, something they probably wouldnt have 2 hours away. I can imagine it would be hard moving them away from their granparents, but only and your wife can truly make the best decision for your family.

Good luck!

 

[stopher1]

I've done the pick and move far, far away thing multiple times... ok, well - we've moved pretty much far, far away three times... but one of those 3 took us BACK to where we left in the first place. We left California for Michigan. Spent 2 years there. Then was laid off from that fabulous job that called us in the first place... only to go back to California. Then I got in with my current employer, who after about a year and a half asked us to move to Indiana. We're approaching 10 years in Indy (August) and are very happy we made the move. Sure times like the past few months have been difficult with ailing family members... but what was really important to my wife and I was building OUR family unit and providing them with the best possible life situation we could. Moving to the midwest has provided that. There certainly are times that the kids have felt deprived by not being able to see their grandmas or grandpas every weekend... but you know what? It's okay. All of us learned more about independence and interdependence through the years of being 2200+ miles away from them. The visits are much sweeter and much more meaningful than they ever would have been if we were still just 20 minutes away. (When we were, grandpa would just "drop by" unannounced throughout the week, and even at their young age at the time... kind of got put off by it. And twice... well, let's just say DW and I were inapropriately interrupted during our son's afternoon nap thanks to my FIL's devil may care dropping-by philosophy. THAT certainly isn't possible when they live in another state! We KNOW whenever anyone is coming to visit since we have to pick them up at the airport!).

I know it's a difficult time and difficult decision - but weigh the pros and cons - and figure out what will be best for your family. Jobs come and go... but the bonding, traditions and strength you can gain from being separated can be good for you... just know that there will come a time that you won't be able to just be right there when illness creeps in. That was a "far off in the future" thing for us when we first left CA, that is in the here an now 14 years later.

 

[Bunch24]

The problem isn't the "quick buy" folks per se, but rather that they're not necessarily going to offer you a quick buy that covers the outstanding balance on your note. That means you're in a short-sale situation with the lender, and can hurt your credit significantly going forward.

Yeah, I'm worried about the short-sale situation more than anything. I'm not real confident that we're going to be able to get what we still owe on the house. I'm trying to do some research that short-sale stuff, because I'm fearing the worst. Our credit was terrible when we first got married (two sets of college debt meshing together does that), but we've finally gotten back on track in that regard. I wouldn't want to take a big step back after all the work we've done the last 4-5 years.

We'll meet with a realtor tomorrow and she'll pretty much determine whether this move is viable or not. I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the rear for taking what I knew at the time was a bad deal. But being young and dumb tends to trump gut feelings.

 

[Bunch24]

A little update for those of you who may be interested. I went down to Florida last week for the official interview process and came away feeling pretty good about things.

Today, they sent me some papers I need to fill out and they're going to submit a written offer to me after receiving those papers. Everything I've been told points to it being a decent pay raise, and I saw firsthand when I was there that it would be a better work environment for me and living situation for my family.

Our house has been up for sale almost two weeks now and we've gotten some nibbles, so that's positive. It's still a process, so hopefully it works itself out in the next few weeks.

If I were to accept the job, the timetable is pretty quick, but there is some wiggle room. Basically, they'd like me there by August, no later than the second week of August.

My wife and I feel good about the move, even though there are still obstacles to clear. She's applying for every teaching job open in that area, but it's a ton of paperwork that's slowing down the process. Naturally, there's some concern she won't find a job, but we're going to have to make a decision to either go through with the move or hold off.

I feel pretty good about the whole thing, even though there are still tons of nerves there. Oddly enough, the concern about leaving family and friends is the least of our worries now. Both of our parents gave their blessing and said they know this could be a great opportunity for us. Now, we're just trying to overcome the logistical obstacles.

Those of you who were offering prayers for us, thanks so very much and please continue to pray for us if you have the time. My wife's getting excited about it, and that makes me think I'm making the right decisions.

 

[AJRitz]

A little update for those of you who may be interested. I went down to Florida last week for the official interview process and came away feeling pretty good about things.

Today, they sent me some papers I need to fill out and they're going to submit a written offer to me after receiving those papers. Everything I've been told points to it being a decent pay raise, and I saw firsthand when I was there that it would be a better work environment for me and living situation for my family.

Our house has been up for sale almost two weeks now and we've gotten some nibbles, so that's positive. It's still a process, so hopefully it works itself out in the next few weeks.

If I were to accept the job, the timetable is pretty quick, but there is some wiggle room. Basically, they'd like me there by August, no later than the second week of August.

My wife and I feel good about the move, even though there are still obstacles to clear. She's applying for every teaching job open in that area, but it's a ton of paperwork that's slowing down the process. Naturally, there's some concern she won't find a job, but we're going to have to make a decision to either go through with the move or hold off.

I feel pretty good about the whole thing, even though there are still tons of nerves there. Oddly enough, the concern about leaving family and friends is the least of our worries now. Both of our parents gave their blessing and said they know this could be a great opportunity for us. Now, we're just trying to overcome the logistical obstacles.

Those of you who were offering prayers for us, thanks so very much and please continue to pray for us if you have the time. My wife's getting excited about it, and that makes me think I'm making the right decisions.

Good luck with the details, this sounds like a great opportunity for you and your family.