"Open Casket" when it should have been "Closed Casket"

[joshsmom]

I'd love to know too!!

A little OT--I loved GNR when I was younger and then Axl Rose went kinda nutty. Now my DS12 is "discovering" their old music. He LOVES it. Kinda funny how that works!!

Sure hope I get an answer. Would love to know!!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I've hear that back in the olden days, they would put a bell on a rope with the end of the rope going doen into the coffin. It was actually someone's job to watch the grave yard and if the bell rang, to unbury the bell ringer. Has anyone ever heard that before?

I've heard that before, too, and the same thing about the "wake" being held to see if the person woke up before they were buried. I've also heard that long ago, when medicine wasn't what it is today, it wasn't all that unusual to find those claw marks on the inside of exhumed caskets. Don't know how true it is, but I know I've read about it.

I have not read the whole thread but I will give you my story.

When I was 15 my mom and 6 yr old sister were killed in a car accident. Neither were wearing their seatbelts. My sis was thrown through the windshield and on to thw road but amazingly enough only had a small cut above her eyebrow. My mother however was nearly decapitated and her lips had to be sown back on. My grandmother decided in spite of all this that we should have an open casket funeral To make matters worse me and my 13 yr old sis did not want to see them but we were pretty much forced to by family who thought we would never have closure if we didnt. Now my sis just looked like she was asleep but my mom looked horrific. something out of a horror movie. It took me years to get that image out of my head and now I wonder why in the world would anyone choose to do this.

I can see doing this if the person looks okay though.

How awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Well, now that we have the "bell" question solved, can someone answer my question from several pages back?

In the Guns N Roses video for November Rain there is an open casket. It is implied that the girl suffered a traumatic death and there is a mirror in the casket reflecting the side of her face without the trauma. Is that really done in funeral homes (using the mirror to conceal the trauma and "reflect" the non-trauma side) or is this just a video thing that they did? I've always wondered that.

I don't know the answer, but it's an interesting question and would certainly make sense.

 

[Yacht Club Family]

deleted as I learned that extended family are on the Dis and I don't want to cause pain to them.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I've heard that before, too, and the same thing about the "wake" being held to see if the person woke up before they were buried. I've also heard that long ago, when medicine wasn't what it is today, it wasn't all that unusual to find those claw marks on the inside of exhumed caskets. Don't know how true it is, but I know I've read about it.

Precisely why they need to drain my blood and add embalming fluid!

 

[TheZue]

When my dad when I was 21 died I refused to see him. I felt very strongly that in good time I would be able to accept that he was in fact dead, and didn't want to be left with that memory simply to speed that acceptance along.

My husband had a HORRIFIC funeral experience when he was in grade five. One of his friends in his class was sucked in between a wall in a revolving movie theatre and it was big news. A fringe religious group showed up and started chanting mid ceremony to raise her from the dead, and all the parents had to grab their kids and haul them out. It wasn't an open casket but his not big on funerals at all now.

And I agree with the poster who said that the best thing anyone can ever say is "I'm so sorry for your loss". The only other thing that was useful that anyone said was from his best friend who told me "even though thinking about him now brings pain, someday you'll be able to think of your dad and smile again". That was immensely comforting since it was my first death. And I don't find this thread tasteless. It's sad, but not tasteless.



(((((hugs))))) to everyone on the board that has loved ones and friends that have passed on.

 

[AmazingGrace]

I've heard that before, too, and the same thing about the "wake" being held to see if the person woke up before they were buried. I've also heard that long ago, when medicine wasn't what it is today, it wasn't all that unusual to find those claw marks on the inside of exhumed caskets. Don't know how true it is, but I know I've read about it.

How awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

I don't know the answer, but it's an interesting question and would certainly make sense.

I had never heard of that before, but i knew a boy who was hit by a car and killed. His head injury was so obvious that they had his coffin with the head on the right side instead of left to right, like you normally see.

 

[tinkntraining]

It's just my opinion, but I don't find this thread tasteless at all, and am a little confused at those who do. Please, no flaming, but do you think the day will not come when you will die, too? All of us, some sooner than later, will have to make the choice, open or closed, cremated or not. It is a personal choice, period. That said, I understand where the OP is coming from.

When I was 12, my very first funeral, was for a very popular friend who was hit while riding his bike delivering papers. He was thrown 100 yards and landed facedown on the road. Our entire 7th grade class attended, most of us had never been to a funeral before. I'm not sure what I expected....but certainly not the shock, grief and fear that I experienced. His family had chosen to have an open casket. The entire left side of his face was caved in, almost flat, as compared to the other side. It was absolutely devastating to me and my friends. It affected me so deeply, and still, to this day, when I think of him, I cannot help but picture him lying in that casket. I have gone to many funerals/wakes since then, but thankfully, none have been as traumatic as my young friend's. Still, I don't fault the family for choosing to do what they felt was best, or necessary, for them. I just learned that it's my decision whether or not I view a body lying in a casket.

To those who have posted your personal stories, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your stories. I've often wondered if the trauma I felt for years was an overreaction -- but, now I know that I'm not alone.

Personally, I'm Irish, and I've told all my loved ones this -- I want everyone to wear bright colors (the brighter the better), I want laughter and music and dancing -- a celebration of my life. If my family wants an open casket, I have no problems with that, sometimes it is necessary for closure, but I want them to say goodbye, and move on. I will have.

 

[Buckeye Gal]

...They had an open casket and he was so swollen that he didn't even look like himself. He also was so swollen that the stitching the embalmer did on his lips was pulling so you could see that his mouth was sewn shut - kinda.

I'll never forget it. Not the way I'd want to be remembered.

I agree...I don't want others to have that lasting vision of me either.

BTW....Hi Neighbor! I live in Dublin, too!

 

[grumpybear3]

I understand some people don't understand this but there are people who can't bring themselves to accept the death until they actually see the person. I'm kinda one of them. I just lost my 22yr old cousin to a tragic accident of a gunshot wound to her head. I had just talked to her the day before it happened so my mind wouldn't let me accept it. I was blessed enough to be able to see her in her casket one last time a week before her funeral. Even though she had alot of the back of her head missing, the funeral home did a amazing job and u couldn't tell. They didn't end up having a open casket bcuz she was decomposing fast. But seeing her did give me the push I needed to start accepting her death.

 

[grumpybear3]

I think that if the family chooses it to be an open casket & you can't handle it...don't go up!

I guarantee the family did not "want to see her like that"!?
No doubt wanted to see her anyway BUT that way, but since that was their reality, they chose to face it.

Maybe they thought she was beautiful regardless, maybe they needed to accept reality, maybe they wanted everyone to say goodbye.
Who knows what the reasons are for an open casket, sometimes in a time tragedy you are too shocked to make any decisions, so they are made for you.

Anyway my point is that I think this thread's in bad taste, just be thankful that you never had to make a horrible decision like open or closed.

I completely agree with u.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I checked first!!! Didn't get caught reading the whole Zombie thread!!

 

[Disneyland1084]

This thread is 5 years old.

 

[shortbun]

I think that if the family chooses it to be an open casket & you can't handle it...don't go up!
...

My college roomate's dad died. I adored him. They had an open casket and I tried to sneak in the back and just stand around because I have no desire to see dead people. The widow saw me and ran to the back, grabbed my arm and drug me forward to see her deceased husband. I did it out of respect to her but I do not attend funerals with open caskets any more. I send a note, make a donation or send flowers.

My family cremates or donates and the memorial service is long after the body is gone. It fits us and I wouldn't do anything else. I know some people love the viewing but I find it very uncomfortable. I would love it if the family had a private viewing and closed the caskets after. Just my preference.

 

[shortbun]

This thread is 5 years old.

haha! Well at least the topic is still relevant.

 

[Disneyland1084]

haha! Well at least the topic is still relevant.

Yeah, I know. And I'm a "retired" licensed funeral director.

 

[kacaju]

I understand some people don't understand this but there are people who can't bring themselves to accept the death until they actually see the person. I'm kinda one of them. I just lost my 22yr old cousin to a tragic accident of a gunshot wound to her head. I had just talked to her the day before it happened so my mind wouldn't let me accept it. I was blessed enough to be able to see her in her casket one last time a week before her funeral. Even though she had alot of the back of her head missing, the funeral home did a amazing job and u couldn't tell. They didn't end up having a open casket bcuz she was decomposing fast. But seeing her did give me the push I needed to start accepting her death.

grumpybear3...you opened up an old 5 year old thread..I assume from your post you are greiving the loss of your cousin and I am assuming you were googling around looking for some sense of peace. I am so sorry to hear about your cousin..I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Buckalew11]

grumpybear3, I am very sorry for the loss of your cousin.

 

[hucifer]

I checked first!!! Didn't get caught reading the whole Zombie thread!!

Yep, another "resurrected" thread.

(pun intended)

 

[lynxstch]

Yep, another "resurrected" thread.

(pun intended)

lol good one..I too remembered to check the date before I got sucked into reading every post on a 5 year old thread!

 

[hucifer]

lol good one..I too remembered to check the date before I got sucked into reading every post on a 5 year old thread!

It's an epidemic lately, these zombie threads.

I remember reading this thread five years ago. I reread the whole thing again today, as this is an interesting subject. Fortunately, I've never experienced it.