I really think it depends on the dynamics of the people involved, the dynamics of the wedding and the bride's relationship with MOG. In my case the parents knew each other and had for 7 years, lived close to each other and included each other in large gatherings. At no point do I think MOG was made to feel excluded. I think it does matter as to who is paying the price of the wedding. With mine my mother set a cap on her contributions, DH and I paid the other half, we did it mostly DIY and I included inlaws on invite as parents ... something no one was doing at the time. I had a good relationship with MOG and it only grew tremendously from there. Was there a few items not seen eye to eye? Sure, like I didn't ask DH's one sister to be in wedding ... we weren't friends and I already had a token sister in it BUT I had no interest in a church wedding but agreed to have it in their church, bonus points. I think each situation will be different and even when there are no negative feelings towards MOG, if the bride's family is hosting and paying, they do tend to make most the decisions ... that hopefully include the Groom's desires as well. Glad this was a plus for you ... I would hate shopping with a group. I honestly would rather shop alone myself because I rather pick something I feel good in, not something others like. I would even go so far as to buy 2-3 dresses to bring home and let DD help me pick which one at home. Then she can tell MOG what color so she can avoid it. So this lends to another question .................. as it's in my thought process since DD's serious BF has no sisters ............... going to pick out the bride's dress. I've watched a few "pick the dress" shows and the army of folks that go is so bothersome. I always thought it would be special days with DD and I, dress shopping, lunch etc. For some reason I see my DD trying to be nice to MOG and invite her since she has no girls. Almost every part of a wedding involves small and large groups, picking the bride's dress is likely the only part that could be our special time ... and I don't want to share it. My DD has never had any desire for big, flashy, large gathering. Never even wanted to plan or get bogged down. WELL, now that lots of her friends are getting married she is seeing it a bit differently .... so it will be up to me to keep it in reality in case she starts to see stars.