Mail Delivery Person Comments on Packages

[aprilgail]

Also in Starbucks and other places, I dont even like when they ask my name, so I dont even give my full name, just the initial!

Wow- are you sure you even want to leave your house, someone may actually speak to you or look at you!

 

[Music City Mama]

I thought about this thread when I was at Publix yesterday morning (I go around 7:30 a.m. when hardly anyone is there). As usual, all of the workers were friendly as I walked down the aisles, "Finding everything you need?", etc.

About a year ago, I made a "friend". One day, I can't remember who initiated the conversation, one of us commented about always seeing each other there so early on Saturdays. We now know each other's names and sometimes will stop to chit-chat, sometimes only a "Hope you have a nice weekend" kind of comment, sometimes more. I saw her yesterday morning and laughed to myself thinking how horrible some people on this thread would think this is.

Per usual, my bagger (who was someone new) as she walked me out asked, "Have any special plans the rest of the day?" I said not really and asked her about her plans. She told me she was going to a surprise party later, and I asked who it was for and what the occasion was. Again, I thought of this thread and thought how nosy I must sound, lol. But, just like all of the other teens that walk me out to my car, she shared all of the details when I asked her and wasn't the slightest bit taken aback.

The funny thing is, I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert, but for some reason, I don't mind chatting with people in these situations.

 

[Ephany]

We recently moved a couple of miles. I've ordered a lot from Amazon lately, rugs, shower curtains, etc. I happened to catch my new mail lady at the front door one day and apologized for so many packages. She laughed and said 'You used to live at xxx, right?' Yep, she's our fill in carrier at the old address and recognized our name and the number of packages. I was slightly embarrassed but we both found it funny.

 

[DisneyHardin]

About a year ago, I made a "friend". One day, I can't remember who initiated the conversation, one of us commented about always seeing each other there so early on Saturdays. We now know each other's names and sometimes will stop to chit-chat, sometimes only a "Hope you have a nice weekend" kind of comment, sometimes more. I saw her yesterday morning and laughed to myself thinking how horrible some people on this thread would think this is.

This made me laugh. One of my best friends is someone I met a few years ago because she was our server at Texas Roadhouse a couple times. It first morphed to "request my section when you come in" and now we are friends who do stuff together all the time.

 

[georgina]

I understand where you are coming from. Her job is to deliver and not comment about your personal life. The other day I purchased several greeting cards at Walgreens, the cashier opened the first and read it, when she started to open the second to read I told her that it was non of her concern to just ring up the order. For some reason I just didn't like her reading them.

I agree. My DH used to use nicotine gum to quit smoking, and the Costco cashier asked me about my smoking. She was quite offended when I told her I wasn't stupid enough to smoke. Annoying cashiers are a big part of the reason I do self check-out whenever possible!

 

[OhhBother]

I agree with the OP. It’s inappropriate. I also shop online a lot. Mostly clothes. The UPS guy made a snarky comment to my husband one day —
told my DH he hoped he had a good job to support my shopping habit. My DH didn’t miss a beat and told him his wife is a well-paid executive and can buy whatever she wants.

I was so annoyed by the UPS guy’s comment - inappropriate and sexist.

 

[nkereina]

Grocery delivery is common too and there is a house in the cul-de-sac next to mine that gets delivery a lot. I'm not judging them nor do I care that they actually get consistent grocery delivery but that doesn't mean I don't notice it.

My comment was because the other poster said they were surprised the mail person took notice to the consistency in packages being delivered. I don't honestly find that surprising. I,as a neighbor, notice that the house in the cul-de-sac near me gets a lot of deliveries from a local grocery store but I wouldn't expect a mail person in my area to notice because we have cluster mailboxes with no consistent assigned mail person.

Right, but you are not the grocery delivery person. I also would notice if my neighbor was receiving a lot of grocery deliveries, or maybe even packages for that matter. But I am not the grocery delivery person who delivers groceries all day 5 days a week, presumably to multiple repeat houses each week. Nor am I am the mail carrier who likely delivers packages to half the houses on their route on any given day, presumably to multiple repeat houses each week. The grocery delivery person and the mail carrier have a different perspective since that's what they see and do all day, so one would think they wouldn't even bat an eye about it. That's why I am surprised the mail carrier noticed enough to make a comment.

 

[smiths02]

I thought about this thread when I was at Publix yesterday morning (I go around 7:30 a.m. when hardly anyone is there). As usual, all of the workers were friendly as I walked down the aisles, "Finding everything you need?", etc.

About a year ago, I made a "friend". One day, I can't remember who initiated the conversation, one of us commented about always seeing each other there so early on Saturdays. We now know each other's names and sometimes will stop to chit-chat, sometimes only a "Hope you have a nice weekend" kind of comment, sometimes more. I saw her yesterday morning and laughed to myself thinking how horrible some people on this thread would think this is.

Per usual, my bagger (who was someone new) as she walked me out asked, "Have any special plans the rest of the day?" I said not really and asked her about her plans. She told me she was going to a surprise party later, and I asked who it was for and what the occasion was. Again, I thought of this thread and thought how nosy I must sound, lol. But, just like all of the other teens that walk me out to my car, she shared all of the details when I asked her and wasn't the slightest bit taken aback.

The funny thing is, I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert, but for some reason, I don't mind chatting with people in these situations.

I have a "friend" who I made that works at Panera. Then I saw her with her grandchildren at Kroger. Then she worked at Kroger. Now she works at a local restaurant. We aren't really friends, but, for some reason, it is always nice to see a friendly face. I'm an introvert too. I NEVER approach people, but I don't really mind chatty people.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Right, but you are not the grocery delivery person. I also would notice if my neighbor was receiving a lot of grocery deliveries, or maybe even packages for that matter. But I am not the grocery delivery person who delivers groceries all day 5 days a week, presumably to multiple repeat houses each week. Nor am I am the mail carrier who likely delivers packages to half the houses on their route on any given day, presumably to multiple repeat houses each week. The grocery delivery person and the mail carrier have a different perspective since that's what they see and do all day, so one would think they wouldn't even bat an eye about it. That's why I am surprised the mail carrier noticed enough to make a comment.

I was referring to regularity.

If that delivery driver has a consistent shift with a consistent route it wouldn't be hard to notice that every time or nearly every time they are on shift that they have a delivery for X house.

I guess you've never encountered in your lifetime of working a "regular"? Typically regulars stand out because the majority of the clientele aren't like that (normally that is because you've def. got some places out there where your regulars are basically your only clientele). If the mail person delivered packages 3-4 times per week to every single house then it might be harder to distinguish it but my guess is not everyone that the regular mail person delivers to in this small community gets packages 3-4 times per week so the OP likely stands out more in terms of noticing consistent package delivery (and I don't mean that in a bad way just a practical way).

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I get what you're saying though I do feel a bit differently. My comment was because the other poster said they were surprised the mail person took notice to the consistency in packages being delivered. I don't honestly find that surprising. I,as a neighbor, notice that the house in the cul-de-sac near me gets a lot of deliveries from a local grocery store but I wouldn't expect a mail person in my area to notice because we have cluster mailboxes with no consistent assigned mail person. Also nowadays a lot of Amazon packages are delivered in our area by Amazon Logistics. BUT I can understand how in a small community that has a regular mail person that the mail person would notice that it's a typical habit to be delivering packages to a specific person.

I would agree if the mail person was asking "so what do you order that you get so many packages" or something similar that would be an invasion of privacy. My gut reaction to the OP's situation is a commonality in the form of chit-chat not that they were invading the OP's privacy and not that they were trying to be judgy but that's just my gut reaction.

If you were to ask me though I don't think the situation as described the OP as an invasion of privacy. The OP is interpreting this as the mail person being judgemental. The OP brings up ceramic dolls bought from QVC as if that should be cause for embarassment (and I mean that in a respectful way). The OP feels like she needs to provide explanations for exactly what she's been ordering (clothes, things for the home, halloween costumes, lids for frying pans, etc) all of which it hasn't been clear if there has ever been a need for such rationales for purchasing things online. If the mail person point blank asked the OP "what's in this box, what's in that box, etc" that would come off, even in a friendly manner, as over the lines but my first defense if the mail person were to say that would not be to defend my actions by explaining just what type of stuff I've been ordering. I would just say "this and that" and leave it as that. I actually do sorta agree with posters who have brought up maybe this is something more an issue with the OP feels about things (i.e. insecurity) though I'm not meaning that in an insensitive way.

This is just me personally but we're talking about non-descript Amazon Prime packages. We're not talking about possible sensitive medical bills and we're not talking about late water bill notices. I'm not there at the OP's place to hear tone and inflection and body language but if all things considered with a friendly manner I would just take it as chit chat and not as something worse. Maybe what makes the OP so uncomfortable is the small town aspect IDK.

I do understand that you were generally speaking as opposed to this specific point of the thread but my feelings on the specific point to this thread blend into my overall feels of the type of situation we're talking about (mail person commenting on mail being delivered).

It's really black and white - you are either professional and discreet on the job or you are not.

Things either bug you and you find them unprofessional or you don't.

When there is a discrepancy between the two from one's perception, there is a problem.

The End.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It's really black and white - you are either professional and discreet on the job or you are not.

Things either bug you and you find them unprofessional or you don't.

When there is a discrepancy between the two from one's perception, there is a problem.

The End.

Glad you've got it all solved

 

[nkereina]

I was referring to regularity.

If that delivery driver has a consistent shift with a consistent route it wouldn't be hard to notice that every time or nearly every time they are on shift that they have a delivery for X house.

I guess you've never encountered in your lifetime of working a "regular"? Typically regulars stand out because the majority of the clientele aren't like that (normally that is because you've def. got some places out there where your regulars are basically your only clientele). If the mail person delivered packages 3-4 times per week to every single house then it might be harder to distinguish it but my guess is not everyone that the regular mail person delivers to in this small community gets packages 3-4 times per week so the OP likely stands out more in terms of noticing consistent package delivery (and I don't mean that in a bad way just a practical way).

I get what you're saying. But what I'm saying is that in this day and age, I would expect packages to be the norm or the regular. Packages are what's keeping the USPS in business. I guess its possible a small town doesn't have as many people ordering packages that frequently, but I know the mail carriers in my neighborhood that service a large suburban area wouldn't be able to keep track because there are so many. Our mail carrier gets out of his truck at every other house it seems.

I guess you've never encountered in your lifetime of working a "regular"?

LOL. I don't know how you could possibly infer that from my post.

 

[smokeyblue]

I wish my mail person would deliver packages to the door instead of stuffing them in my mailbox or rubber banding packages to the mailbox. One time the rubber band broke and the package fell in the snowbank. Luckily most of my packages come UPS.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I get what you're saying. But what I'm saying is that in this day and age, I would expect packages to be the norm or the regular. Packages are what's keeping the USPS in business. I guess its possible a small town doesn't have as many people ordering packages that frequently, but I know the mail carriers in my neighborhood that service a large suburban area wouldn't be able to keep track because there are so many. Our mail carrier gets out of his truck at every other house it seems.

I didn't make the argument that ordering packages itself was out of the ordinary. I made the point that in a situation where you have a regular mail person with a consistent route delivering multiple packages a week to one house in particular over and over is something I could see as easily noticable to the regular mail person.

I wouldn't be surprised at all personally if I had a regular mail person that I saw all the time delivering my mail noticed that I get regular package delivery. Commenting aside the noticing seems quite normal.

At least from what the OP posted it wasn't that the mail person commented "who orders stuff online these days!?" as in they couldn't believe people order packages it was that "you don't have a package today" in a manner in which they often do have packages delivered (3-4 times per week).

LOL. I don't know how you could possibly infer that from my post.

Wasn't inferring just didn't seem like you were understanding what I was talking about. If you had encountered "regulars" would seem you would see the 'other' side in that it's easy to notice a house that gets 3 to 4 packages a week when the other houses don't. Your job may be to deliver mail that doesn't mean you don't notice consistency. Your job may be to deliver grocery orders doesn't mean you don't notice consistency. Your job may be a hostess doesn't mean you don't notice consistency. Your job may be a waiter/waitress doesn't mean you don't notice consistency and so on and so on. Just because I talked to hundreds of insurance agents across 35+ states when I worked at the insurance company didn't mean I didn't notice particular agents, or when they likely would call or that I could count on this agency to submit more off the phone service requests, etc. I'm speaking to your comments about being surprised about consistent several days a week package delivery by the same person to the same house.

 

[nkereina]

I didn't make the argument that ordering packages itself was out of the ordinary. I made the point that in a situation where you have a regular mail person with a consistent route delivering multiple packages a week to one house in particular over and over is something I could see as easily noticable to the regular mail person.

I wouldn't be surprised at all personally if I had a regular mail person that I saw all the time delivering my mail noticed that I get regular package delivery. Commenting aside the noticing seems quite normal.

At least from what the OP posted it wasn't that the mail person commented "who orders stuff online these days!?" as in they couldn't believe people order packages it was that "you don't have a package today" in a manner in which they often do have packages delivered (3-4 times per week).

No, I never said anything about ordering the packages was out of the ordinary. To your point about regularity, it's my position that ordering packages IS what is regular. For the mail carrier to notice that the OP receives multiple packages multiple times a week is surprising TO ME because I would imagine the majority of houses on her route receiving multiple packages weekly, or more. I would think OP is one of many, and its just another day at the office for the mail carrier when delivering a package. If the mail carrier is astute enough to notice Mrs. Smith at 123 Main Street only received 3 packages instead of 4 this week, good for her.

Honestly, my remark in the first place was just a half-flippant opinion. I did not expect it to be this over-analyzed. LOL!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Honestly, my remark in the first place was just a half-flippant opinion. I did not expect it to be this over-analyzed. LOL!

Really? Then you haven’t been paying attention.

 

[jrmasm]

Really? Then you haven’t been paying attention.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I did not expect it to be this over-analyzed.

Right back at you

 

[Wishing on a star]

I think that there is a difference between being friendly/chatty.... And, in the OP's case making what could be considered to be intrusive and judgemental personal observations.

BUT, on the other hand... Where I live... There are what we refer to as 'the town talker(s)".
OMG, don't make eye contact or acknowledge them in any way, or they will literally stand over your table going on and on...
My son told he that he and his friend encountered a new Town Talker the other day... and they had to figure out how to make an exit!!!!
I fully believe that some of the local fast food restaurants/cafes where they hang out and impose their socialzation and their views on unsuspecting customers, have actually told the worst of these that they are no longer welcome.

Different people have different expectations of personal boundaries. But, remember, just because you might be okay, or just accept, certain things.... That doesn't mean that everyone else should, or that those behaviors are appropriate in any given situation.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Just thinking about the first name, for filling orders...
The initial might work if your name could be Bea, Kay, Elle, Dee, Jay.....