Lost my daughter to suicide

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by mommasita, Nov 5, 2017.

  1. lisaviolet

    lisaviolet DIS Veteran

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    :hug: mommasita.

    I am very sorry.
     
  2. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Thanks everyone. Today is the day, and I’m just not coping well. I can’t stop thinking my daughter should be here mourning her Nonno . Nothing is right here, nothing will ever be.
     
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  4. mom2rtk

    mom2rtk Bring Back MARIE!

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    I'm sending extra thoughts and prayers to you on this very difficult day. :grouphug:
     
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  5. macraven

    macraven Proud Redhead Moderator

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    I know you are hurting

    All the posters here wish you peace

    Sending you love and prayers


    Some days will be harder than others and hope the times it is hard to cope,will become fewer
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2017
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  6. lanejudy

    lanejudy Moderator Moderator

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    You have been through so much more than anyone should ever have to bear in such a short time! My heart breaks for you. I am continuing to keep you and your family in my prayers.
    :hug:
     
  7. lisaviolet

    lisaviolet DIS Veteran

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    mommasita, you are in my thoughts.
     
  8. Domo

    Domo Wotcha

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    Oh my God, I am so sorry... I can't even begin to imagine...
     
  9. AdamEfimoff

    AdamEfimoff DIS Veteran

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  10. knkmom

    knkmom Mouseketeer

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    I am so sorry. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  11. lisaviolet

    lisaviolet DIS Veteran

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    Thinking of you all the time mommasita. Can hardly type to you without tears. Love sent to you all.
     
  12. kirstenb1

    kirstenb1 DIS Veteran

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    I'm so sorry for an unimaginable loss. I'll pray for you and your family.
     
  13. bluejasmine

    bluejasmine DIS Veteran

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    I lost a son to an over dose Sept 30 2016, its not exactly the same thing but I always wonder if he did it purposely bc he was a very unhappy person from a very young age. I know as a parent its hard not to question yourself and everything that you did, but remember that you cannot control anyone and even if you could have done something to stop her, there is a big chance she may have tried again, I had a friend whose son tried multiple times before succeeding and his mother prevented several of those time.

    I hope your finding some peace, no youll never be the same, I am not, I never will be but youll heal some enough to not think about it every hour on the hour.

    Your welcome to message me anytime, I wont have any answers for you but I do know what your going through.

    My mother is actually in hospice right now, so Im going to loose my mother soon too..

    Sending hugs, pixie dust and prayers
     
  14. wendow

    wendow DIS Veteran

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  15. JuneChickie

    JuneChickie JunesKittyCat

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    I can't even imagine the loss :(
    Sending prayers to you and your family with my heartfelt condolences .
     
  16. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Thank you to everyone. I lost my father March 3. I spoke to him the night before, and he was coming over. Super healthy man, literally dropped dead. He hasn’t slept well since, and I think he worried for me, and thought he may lose me.

    So, my Briana would be turning 19 on April 19th. I have booked a trip with my husband to Punta Cana. I won’t forget this day, any day, but I can not be in this house all day alone. I can not face it. I am running away

    My son is doing ok, he is working, doesn’t want to talk about it, that worries me more, but we all deal in our own way I’m told. My husband doesn’t want to either, at least not with me. It’s trying times, and our household is broken.

    I have great friends, but there is always an elephant in the room, so social settings are off the table for me.
     
  17. macraven

    macraven Proud Redhead Moderator

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  18. AnnaFloridaLover

    AnnaFloridaLover DIS Veteran

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    I'm so sorry. I hope somehow you and your family can find peace. Grief has it's own timeline. Hugs.
     
  19. cabanafrau

    cabanafrau DIS Veteran

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    I pray for peaceful hearts for all of you.
     
  20. marcyleecorgan

    marcyleecorgan DIS Veteran

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    *many hugs* Our family lost its youngest adult to suicide a few years ago. You are not alone in this pain. *have a Duffy Bear to cry on*
     
  21. ziravan

    ziravan Welcome Home

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    I Cry

    I cry
    And the sky shows its blue sympathy
    Or clouds the stars from her eyes
    To cry with me

    I shudder
    And the world remains firm
    A hope against my soul-ripped heart
    My strength when I have none

    I cannot
    The day has no meaning
    But the sun still rises
    Even as darkness falls around me

    I rage
    And the world responds with beauty
    Unfair to whisper grace
    When grace I cannot feel

    I scream
    And the heavens absorb my cry
    And yet still responds with stars
    Even though my star is gone

    I fall
    And cannot think discreetly
    The earth spins undetected
    And so do I

    I cringe
    At casual conversation
    How can time move on
    No, I am not OK

    I plead
    For hope I cannot feel
    Grace I do not know
    They are strangers to me

    I know
    That life is unsecure
    And breath is as impermanent
    As souls are forever

    I live
    In uncontented days
    Along uncommitted paths
    In a world that no longer makes sense

    I sigh
    And the world doesn't sigh with me
    And time moves ahead
    And leaves me behind

    I yearn
    For portals between worlds
    For reaffirmation
    For a drop of yesterday

    I want
    The links to grow unended
    My path to not be parted
    My heart to not be still

    I am
    A link without the linkage
    A bond without the bonding
    A soul without its quilting

    I go
    Forward day by day
    Holding invisible hands
    That pray with me for continuity

    I hope
    That hope someday will find me
    And show me paths to meet me
    With hands that hold mine still

    I grow
    Not apart but abreadth
    Not alone but amidst
    Interconnected by faith

    I see
    That time is so uncertain
    That here is not not there
    And forever is true regardless

    Copyright 2002 Timothy Delasandro
     

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