Is this rude or am I just getting cranky in my old age....

[tzolkin]

I would be annoyed but I have to ask, why is talking on speaker phone rude but 2 people sitting there talking to each other isn't? Is it because you can't hear the whole conversation and that bother you?
I guess my thought on it is, if it isn't a place where being quiet is expected- like church, or a library, or movie, etc then people are free to talk to whoever they want, even if that person is on the other end of their phone.

Personally, speakerphone just bothers me in general. I will use it at home when I'm by myself if I'm trying to multi-task, but hearing other people on speakerphone just grates on my nerves and also makes me feel anxious and uncomfortable. I think it's because the person on the other end often doesn't know they are on speakerphone in a public place, or even if they do they don't know the other person's surroundings.

A few other reasons--
1. At least 90% of the time, the volume is much higher than a normal conversation between two people. I know I talk way louder on speaker or car phone than I do if I'm holding it up to my ear or if I were in person.
2. It infringes on the other people around them. If someone is having a speakerphone conversation, others often feel the need to keep quiet so their voices aren't being picked up on the call. If you're in the bathroom, you might be uncomfortable with an unknown audience.
3. The person on the other end can't pick up on social cues. If you are having a conversation in person, you can see if you're speaking too loudly and bothering people sitting nearby, you can see if there's an interruption where you need to stop talking, you can see if the other person is distracted, you can see if there are small children and you should modify your language, etc. Speakerphone eliminates all those cues so there are more opportunities to be rude.

Sort of OT, but recently we were in a public restroom and thought a woman was on speakerphone with a man in the stall. When she came out to wash her hands, my daughters noticed that it was actually FaceTime. Busy bathroom with lots of toilets flushing and hand dryers and they just kept talking even louder so they could hear each other over the noise.

 

[RedAngie]

For me it's both.

It's rude, and I AM getting cranky in my old age.

(Not that I wasn't cranky when I was younger.)

 

[cabanafrau]

My DH fits the mold of the loud talker that this guy refers to. The kids & I now refer to it as shout-talking. DH is like that Dilbert character named Loud Howard. The longer DH talks on the phone, the louder he talks. Sometimes he even does it when he's not on the phone, so when we're in restaurants sometimes I have to tell DH to quit shouting because everybody else doesn't need to hear about his work day.

The kicker was about a week ago, we were just sitting down to dinner. DH was on call for work (he's in IT) and there was some sort of problem where he had to join a conference call underway to troubleshoot something. So what does he do? Puts the phone on speaker right there at the dinner table and proceeds to shout-talk into the phone. of course, none of the rest of us at the table were allowed to talk. Then I ticked my DH off by saying really loud, "WOULD YOU MIND TAKING THAT CALL IN YOUR OFFICE? WE'RE TRYING TO EAT DINNER HERE." He puts it on mute and says, "I'm trying to eat my dinner!" then took it back off of mute. Then I shouted back, "OH, YOU'RE TRYING TO EAT DINNER WHILE ON THE PHONE? WE'RE TRYING TO EAT DINNER, TOO, ONLY WE CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE ALL GET TO LISTEN TO YOUR WORK CALL."

Then he went in the other room and shut the door.

The next time I encounter a speaker phone talker in the grocery store (usually the person on the other end of the phone has NO idea they're on speaker, and they're talking about personal stuff), I am very very tempted to walk up to the bull horn phone person and shout into the phone, "HI HONEY! DON'T FORGET THE EX-LAX, TOILET PAPER, AND METAMUCIL! AND I THINK YOU PROBABLY NEED SOME PREPARATION H FOR THOSE HEMORRHOIDS OF YOURS, OK?"

OMG, between my loathing of speakerphones, using or listening, and also having a DH in IT who often takes calls when off the clock the front of our home would be the leading story on the local news that night -- with the headline Shots Fired in Wild Melee When Wife Has Meltdown Over Husband's Speakerphone Use.

It's annoying enough when we're out to dinner and I'm forced to sit and listen to his end of the conversation while he troubleshoots. Luckily he knows very well how much I cannot stand speakerphones and would be too afraid my rage just might be enough motivation to be an unexpectedly good shot to attempt a stunt like yours did!

 

[L&Lfan]

Generally Spanish is a loud language, some Spanish dialects louder than others.

And I generally perceive certain Asian languages (Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean) as extra loud when people are conversing.

 

[firefly_ris]

Remember a couple (maybe more like 10, I dunno) years ago when a lot of people had those phones that had like a walkie-talkie functionality? Ahhhhh.

 

[VandVsmama]

OMG, between my loathing of speakerphones, using or listening, and also having a DH in IT who often takes calls when off the clock the front of our home would be the leading story on the local news that night -- with the headline Shots Fired in Wild Melee When Wife Has Meltdown Over Husband's Speakerphone Use.

It's annoying enough when we're out to dinner and I'm forced to sit and listen to his end of the conversation while he troubleshoots. Luckily he knows very well how much I cannot stand speakerphones and would be too afraid my rage just might be enough motivation to be an unexpectedly good shot to attempt a stunt like yours did!

It's now become a running joke between me and the kids. Like, I'll be sitting on the couch next to YDD. DH comes home from work and is on the phone (not on speaker) and is shout-talking while walking through the house on the phone call. So I'll turn to YDD and we'll carry on our conversation only we shout it at each other. Like...

YDD: HEY, MAMA, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
me: HOW DOES SPAGHETTI SOUND?
YDD: THAT'S GOOD. I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY HOMEWORK.
me: WHAT?
YDD: (louder now) I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY HOMEWORK!
me: THAT'S GREAT!

We end up in stitches over it.

 

[dish rag]

Remember a couple (maybe more like 10, I dunno) years ago when a lot of people had those phones that had like a walkie-talkie functionality? Ahhhhh.

NEXTEL

 

[mjkacmom]

OMG, between my loathing of speakerphones, using or listening, and also having a DH in IT who often takes calls when off the clock the front of our home would be the leading story on the local news that night -- with the headline Shots Fired in Wild Melee When Wife Has Meltdown Over Husband's Speakerphone Use.

It's annoying enough when we're out to dinner and I'm forced to sit and listen to his end of the conversation while he troubleshoots. Luckily he knows very well how much I cannot stand speakerphones and would be too afraid my rage just might be enough motivation to be an unexpectedly good shot to attempt a stunt like yours did!

DH does this when he works from home, drives me nuts! Usually I can get him to catch my glare and he goes to another floor.

 

[cabanafrau]

It's now become a running joke between me and the kids. Like, I'll be sitting on the couch next to YDD. DH comes home from work and is on the phone (not on speaker) and is shout-talking while walking through the house on the phone call. So I'll turn to YDD and we'll carry on our conversation only we shout it at each other. Like...

YDD: HEY, MAMA, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
me: HOW DOES SPAGHETTI SOUND?
YDD: THAT'S GOOD. I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY HOMEWORK.
me: WHAT?
YDD: (louder now) I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY HOMEWORK!
me: THAT'S GREAT!

We end up in stitches over it.

God bless you. You can count on a yes vote from me if it helps should you ever be nominated for sainthood, which you would be in my book.

Meanwhile my neighbors will be the ones telling the reporters "She always seemed nice enough, but I always had the sense she would snap one day." Luckily my husband knows me well and has a keen sense of self preservation.

 

[wgeo]

Generally Spanish is a loud language, some Spanish dialects louder than others.

I genuinely don't understand this. A language doesn't have a volume. Speakers of a language have volume - so are you indicating that Spanish speakers are loud? That hasn't been my experience. Some are loud, and some not, just like the English speaking people I know, some are loud and some are not.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It would be just as rude if they were in person talking very loudly BUT when you talk on speakerphone by nature you do talk louder as softer tones don't tend to get picked up and I also notice lag in time too or if you're too far away from the phone it doesn't get picked up, etc.

Why anyone would enter a business and talk on speakerphone is beyond me but I would hazard a guess that if two people enter a business talking very loudly and continued to talk loudly whilst everyone else around them was either quiet or had their 'inside voice' going they would get side glares or internal "how rude" thoughts from others around them.

 

[rigs32]

I got an iphone 11 when they came out and my face often hangs up for me. As a result, I talk on speakerphone more often than I ever did to avoid it, though I probably wouldn't take a call like that in a dealership waiting room.

 

[fly girl]

It’s rude. I would’ve been annoyed. Complete lack of situational awareness and common courtesy.

And I have to ask, OP, did the others in room glance at each other with the, “can you believe this lady?” look? I know other than my eyeroll and big sigh I’d let out, I’d be looking at others to commiserate with!

 

[ZZBane]

I had to rush my son to the pediatrician last week and there was a woman in the waiting room (she had to have been in her 50s or 60s and no child that I could see was with her) and she was doing god knows what on her phone. One minute we would here an obnoxiously loud rap song then we would hear loud beeps from a game. If I wasn’t holding my very sick 2 year old (btw, every time her phone made a stupid noise, he would fuss) I would have said something to her. I couldn’t believe how rude she was. I swear I bit my tongue so hard, it bled.

On the flip side of this, every time I am out with my mom and she gets a call, she puts it on speaker. We were out to dinner one night and my brother called and she put him on speaker at the table for nearly 20 minutes. I wanted to sink into the booth. If she gives my son his tablet to play, she turns it way up. I end up turning it way down. My mom tends to not give a crap about other people and is absolutely rude so often. It drives me insane and makes me so mad and then she gets mad at me when I call her out on it. She doesn’t see herself as rude at all

 

[5kidsmommy]

It's totally rude.

Even in our own home we go into a seperate room to talk on the phone unless it's family and we are all chatting on speakerphone. I just do not like having phone conversations in the same room as someone else.

 

[wvjules]

I hate speakerphones! Conversations, FaceTime, watching videos, etc. EVERY phone comes with headphones. USE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pezgirlroy]

So couple of things. I will never use a speakerphone in public because she it is rude but....if I am in my office I will almost always close my door and use the speakerphone. I always tell the person that they are on speaker. The reason is that (this isn't necessary but at 42) I wear hearing aids and it is very uncomfortable to use the regular phone.

 

[soccerdad72]

So couple of things. I will never use a speakerphone in public because she it is rude but....if I am in my office I will almost always close my door and use the speakerphone. I always tell the person that they are on speaker. The reason is that (this isn't necessary but at 42) I wear hearing aids and it is very uncomfortable to use the regular phone.

I use speakerphone in my office all the time (closed door). Often, I have to pull things up on my computer when on a conference call and it's just too hard to do while holding the phone.

That being said, there's a woman on our floor who is in an open cubicle that does calls on speakerphone all day long - drives everyone nuts.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

So couple of things. I will never use a speakerphone in public because she it is rude but....if I am in my office I will almost always close my door and use the speakerphone. I always tell the person that they are on speaker. The reason is that (this isn't necessary but at 42) I wear hearing aids and it is very uncomfortable to use the regular phone.

My mom has a function where the call goes to her hearing aids. She just talks like she would for a normal phone call. Now it's sorta like speakerphone where sometimes she sounds like it's a speakphone conversation but she doesn't have to talk as loud as one would probably do if you're on speakerphone.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I genuinely don't understand this. A language doesn't have a volume. Speakers of a language have volume - so are you indicating that Spanish speakers are loud? That hasn't been my experience. Some are loud, and some not, just like the English speaking people I know, some are loud and some are not.

I took the various posts on "this language is louder" or "that language is louder" as confirming the point someone made above that any language not your own is simply harder to tune out.

And I agree that the speaker phone use in the OP was rude. (Of course, I hate hearing half a conversation in general, especially loud laughter! So maybe I'm just grumpy too.)