Is this rude or am I just getting cranky in my old age....

So couple of things. I will never use a speakerphone in public because she it is rude but....if I am in my office I will almost always close my door and use the speakerphone. I always tell the person that they are on speaker. The reason is that (this isn't necessary but at 42) I wear hearing aids and it is very uncomfortable to use the regular phone.
It is perfectly acceptable to use your phone on speaker in your closed-door office. It isn't in public.
 
My mom is terrible about this and it drives me crazy. She calls me quite frequently and only ever uses speakerphone. She has an insanely loud voice to begin with and speaks even louder when she talks on the phone since it's on speaker. It drives me nuts because I have to turn my volume way down when she calls (and then remember to turn it back up when I'm done) since she's so loud, but since speakerphone often cuts in and out with what you can hear, I then have to turn the volume up, but then it comes back in and she's making my ears bleed. It's a never ending back and forth with the volume button to understand what she's saying.

She also sees nothing wrong with talking with me (or anyone else) on speaker in the grocery store, doctor's office waiting room, etc, and has no sense of etiquette when it comes to discussing personal issues in the hearing of others, including gynecological issues in graphic detail, past abuse she's experienced, intimacy issues in past relationships... All stuff I don't want to hear at all, let alone a bunch of strangers in Walmart. If you try to tell her to call you back when she's home, she either talks over you and ignores the suggestion or insists, "oh no, it's fine," and keeps talking. Even though I'm not physically there and barely get a word or two in myself, it still embarrasses me for her. She won't even hang up to check out at the grocery store and always uses self-checkout, so I get to hear the constant, "Please place your item in the bag, please place your, please place, please, please, please place your..." Along with her talking even louder to hear herself over that, and she of course always has 1000 items to scan and can only do it with one hand since she's holding the stupid phone so it takes 5 years for her to check out. I swear I want to find whoever invented speakerphone so I can re-route all of my mother's phone calls to them so they can experience the full torment of their invention.
Hang up on her. Repeatedly if necessary. As I've gotten older, I have zero tolerance for that type of behavior. If you can't behave yourself (even in private), we're done talking.
 
Very, very rude, Carol.

If I ever get a call on my phone that I need to take at the moment, or if I need to make a call, and I am in public, I always move to a place where there are not other people. If not able to move, I let it go to voice mail or I make my call later. And never on speaker in public.

Very rude, no manners.
 
I agree that it is very very rude!
I don't care if it is on the phone with the volume up, and just the person talking loudly back into the phone.
I don't care if it is speakerphone.
I don't care if it is just two (or more) people in person, being loud and annoying in a public place.
Incredibly rude.
If the whole room or area is openly subjected to your conversation. That is a problem.

One time, on a flight, the people just behind me were to young women who were just talking so darned loud.
Talk about being a captive audience!
I wear hearing aides, had them turned down, and it was still just so bad.
I finally turned around and peered around the seat and gave them a 'look'.
One of them was actually rude enough to say something about that.
I told my husband, that I was going to tell them that if they they were talking THAT loud, then I had just assumed that I was welcome to listen and be involved in their conversation. Or, something like that.

As a person who does wear hearing aides now, and as a person who is informed all about Sensory issues with some developmental issues, I take this kind of thing seriously.

It is practically auditory assault.
And, the same goes for those who wear entirely too much fragrance.
I call that olfactory assault. Hahahaha!!!!

Having said all of that, when I read some of these post where the other person seems to begin to get louder and louder, and especially on the phone. Please encourage that person to get their hearing evaluated! That is just classic.
 


I see this more and more. No one is using ear buds anymore on planes, trains, etc. Annoying.


Sadly, this is so true. I was in the bank a couple of weeks ago and there was some guy watching a video on his phone without earbuds. The woman behind him asked he had earbuds, to which he said no and kept on watching. :rolleyes2 She came back with "I'm pretty sure everyone on line here does not cares to listen to your video or whatever." He ultimately turned it off.
 
So couple of things. I will never use a speakerphone in public because she it is rude but....if I am in my office I will almost always close my door and use the speakerphone. I always tell the person that they are on speaker. The reason is that (this isn't necessary but at 42) I wear hearing aids and it is very uncomfortable to use the regular phone.


Using a speaker phone in a private office is fine. It is good etiquette in a business setting to tell the other party you are on a speaker phone and who else may be in the office with you. This avoids the awkward situation where the party on the phone says something negative about the other person in your office not realizing they are there. You may need to look up something in a file or on your PC or take notes, so the speaker phone allows your hands to be free while talking. Hopefully, the speaker phone is of good enough quality that the other party can clearly hear you. Some people where I work use cheap headsets and the sound is terrible. If I can't hear someone or the sound is garbled or constantly breaking up, I let them know so they can switch off the headset.

In public, it is just rude to use a speaker phone and speak so loudly that others can hear you. But nowadays, there seems to be too many self-absorbed people who think the world revolves around them and are oblivious to the fact others have no interest in hearing their call, regardless of the subject matter.
 


I'm not certain that "rude" is the right word for the speakerphone sitch. Most people probably don't want to share a conversation with strangers in a public place, could they just be unaware of how annoying this is?

A few years ago I had a very early flight. the area at the gate was full of people but it was extremely quiet because it wasn't even 6am and people just weren't ready to do anything except doze or drink coffee. Some guy got a call on his cell and he was so loud that every passenger waiting at that gate heard every word he said. He wasn't even on speakerphone, it was just his end of the conversation. I sensed that maybe he was new to cellphone technology and would have been embarrassed to learn that several dozen people were now fully up to speed on his plans for the trip.
 
Some cultures dont necessarily see it as rude. Certain cultures think its perfectly fine to pick your nose in public. I see this on public transit all the time.
 
I was in the grocery store last week... There I am standing in the produce aisle, debating on how many bananas to buy, ... and all of a sudden this lady is shout talking into space, and everyone in the deli, and produce sections jerks around to see what is going on... then I realize that she is has that little "doodad", sticking out of her ear ( Doodad is what my dad calls them, he's 80 and I like the way he says it sooo I'm using it )... and she is talking about about whomever, and calling this person all kinds of names ,and some quite colorful language,, I did not realize that you can string that many adult words into a single strand.... and how worthless this person is, I really can't go into detail as it's not Disney friendly language... she is waving her hands around... and picks up her purse, and slams it back into the cart... and all the time she is getting louder and louder... and more agitated... the produce manager actually came out of the back, to see what was going on... I moved on to several aisle over and I could still hear her loud and clear... so I finished my shopping, and I got ready to check out... and the woman was in front of me checking out... and she was not paying any attention to the poor cashier trying to ask her a question... about how she wanted the cash back...she tried several times.... so as she is walking off she is telling whomever is on the phone, and I quote " that stupid girl did not even give me my cash the right way, now I have to stop at customer service" Yes, the cashier heard her, and I was going out of the store... she was at customer service on complaining, that the about how terribly she was treated.... So when I got home, I called and asked to speak to the store manager, and I told her, that the cashier did a great job, let her know what had transpired... she Thanked me, and let me know that other customers had come to the defense of the cashier...
 
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I was at the car dealership for service today, waiting in the waiting room for a 60 minute job. There were about 5 of us sitting quietly, reading or looking at phones until this woman comes in. She is talking on her phone, ON SPEAKER PHONE. This went on for about 30 minutes until my work was done so I could leave. And before you ask what the conversation was, I don't know. It was in Spanish.

I don't understand her need for speakerphone. And in that situation, keep the conversation short or walk to a less crowded area.

I went into the kids room so I could close the door and read. When the service writer came to get me, he thought it was rude too.

Oh well. First world problem.
I would have said something for sure because that would drive me insane. I’d have asked her to turn it down. If she didn’t take it off speaker, I’d have asked again and told her that I was getting a headache. If that didn’t work, I’d get a manager involved or leave the room like you did. I’d have been annoyed - regardless of what language they were speaking.
 
I would be annoyed but I have to ask, why is talking on speaker phone rude but 2 people sitting there talking to each other isn't? Is it because you can't hear the whole conversation and that bother you?
I guess my thought on it is, if it isn't a place where being quiet is expected- like church, or a library, or movie, etc then people are free to talk to whoever they want, even if that person is on the other end of their phone.

Think it depends on how loud one is. I've sat near people who were not on speaker phone but speaking so loudly that everyone knew what the conversation was about. Not necessary.
 
Totally rude. When women do it in the bathroom, I will stand there, flushing the toilet repeatedly until they get the hint. Some people lack any sense of self-awareness and there are others that don't give a rat's *** about inconveniencing anyone else.

What is it with people carrying on conversations in the bathroom, always while USING the bathroom? I've noticed this in the last five or so years, and it was not something I remember experiencing before that. Fortunately, I've been able to add to the conversation a time or two by passing gas - as loudly as possible. :moped:
 
What is it with people carrying on conversations in the bathroom, always while USING the bathroom? I've noticed this in the last five or so years, and it was not something I remember experiencing before that. Fortunately, I've been able to add to the conversation a time or two by passing gas - as loudly as possible. :moped:
Yes! This seems to be the trend around here. I make sure to repeatedly flush the toilet.
 
My mom is bad about going on FB while we are at dinner out. And she watches videos on FB at top volume. Smiling and laughing loudly as she watches. Bugs me for 2 reasons. One is that it's rude to blast those videos that loud in a restaurant (she does same in waiting rooms of DR offices). And two is that we are having dinner and she is looking at her phone the whole time, like a 15 year old girl.

She will also do the same at home in her living room. When I am visiting and sitting there trying to watch TV. She blasts those FB videos at top volume. It's very irritating.
 
Love these posts and agree 1000%- it especially bugs me at the gym. I have earphones in and have to turn the volume up more than I think is safe, just to drown out the folks on treadmills next to me. No one seems to know how to modulate their voice in public anymore.

I actually quit my last job over it: so many people in offices or cubicles would be on speaker, I literally couldn't get my work done. I was miserable. (I'm a writer and need quiet to think.) They told me to just wear earphones - umm...nope. Won't do that 8-10 hours a day. See ya.

But I'm truly speechless at some of these stories - a few were hysterical - although not for you guys having to deal with it! But frankly, I believe it's all OUR fault collectively. The more other people in the room tolerate the rudeness (and I'm guilty of it too - not wanting to make a scene, confront someone, etc) the more they'll just get away with doing whatever they want.

I push myself to ask them once politely...if they ignore me or get hostile, I go to who's ever in charge and politely ask them to intervene. If they won't, I leave and they lose my business. (Applies to restaurants/stores - you're stuck on a plane or if your car is on a lift or you need to keep that doctor's appt!)

I will say I'm weird in that I actually prefer when they're yelling in another language - somehow it's easier for me to block out if I don't understand WHAT they're saying...lol. It just becomes background noise. When it's English, I can't seem to ignore or block it out as well.
 
I absolutely hate speakerphone as well. My last job there were 14 women working in adjoining cubicles, so that already got pretty loud sometimes. But there was one woman who was in the center cubicle who always used speakerphone. It was super annoying because she wasn't doing anything to warrant being on the speaker. She would move her chair to face her phone, bring her phone close to her, get her paper and pen, and talk (sometimes yell) directly into the phone's speaker, not filing paperwork or working on her computer, just talking to her phone. I would turn my music up and talk as loud as I could to the other women, and it took us all months of complaining for her to get told to finally use her headset.

My mom is bad about going on FB while we are at dinner out. And she watches videos on FB at top volume. Smiling and laughing loudly as she watches. Bugs me for 2 reasons. One is that it's rude to blast those videos that loud in a restaurant (she does same in waiting rooms of DR offices). And two is that we are having dinner and she is looking at her phone the whole time, like a 15 year old girl.

She will also do the same at home in her living room. When I am visiting and sitting there trying to watch TV. She blasts those FB videos at top volume. It's very irritating.

My mother does the same exact thing! We used to try to eat out with them once a month, and almost every time she just had to show us this video (even if I told her we've all already seen it), and she sits and plays on her phone most of the meal. But if my 17 year old DD even looks at her phone, my mom is yelling at her. It got to the point where I can't stand to be around her much any more.
 
I absolutely hate speakerphone as well. My last job there were 14 women working in adjoining cubicles, so that already got pretty loud sometimes. But there was one woman who was in the center cubicle who always used speakerphone. It was super annoying because she wasn't doing anything to warrant being on the speaker. She would move her chair to face her phone, bring her phone close to her, get her paper and pen, and talk (sometimes yell) directly into the phone's speaker, not filing paperwork or working on her computer, just talking to her phone. I would turn my music up and talk as loud as I could to the other women, and it took us all months of complaining for her to get told to finally use her headset.



My mother does the same exact thing! We used to try to eat out with them once a month, and almost every time she just had to show us this video (even if I told her we've all already seen it), and she sits and plays on her phone most of the meal. But if my 17 year old DD even looks at her phone, my mom is yelling at her. It got to the point where I can't stand to be around her much any more.
My mom also snarks at my 20 year old twin girls when they are on their phones. It flabergasts me.
 
It is rude! I hate it. There is no need for me to know what your conversation is. You are not that important and neither is the person on the other end. When someone enters a public restroom on the phone I start flushing and making farting noises hoping that the person on the other end will here it, lol.
 
how funny rangerpooh cause I do the exact same thing---Id love to be in there sometime if they drop it in the toliet
 

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