Irrational grandmother

[wvjules]

That would be me. I texted DD this morning to ask her some stupid questions. This stupid tragedy stuff is always on my mind. (DGS Falling off a cruise ship - we have no plans to cruise, falling under the ice of the lake - he will never be on the lake when it's frozen, falling in their water tank - its a small hole that has a screw on cap, etc.)

I do not remember being like this when DD was little. I guess because I'm not stuck in the day to day parenting routine that my mind wanders to these irrational thoughts.

Any other grandparents, or parents, like this?

No, it's not debilitating. They are usually fleeting thoughts. Being a grandparent is stressful! lol

 

[Hrhpd]

That would be me. I texted DD this morning to ask her some stupid questions. This stupid tragedy stuff is always on my mind. (Falling off a cruise ship - we have no plans to cruise, falling under the ice of the lake - he will never be on the lake when it's frozen, falling in their water tank - its a small hole that has a screw on cap, etc.)

I do not remember being like this when DD was little. I guess because I'm not stuck in the day to day parenting routine that my mind wanders to these irrational thoughts.

Any other grandparents, or parents, like this?

No, it's not debilitating. They are usually fleeting thoughts. Being a grandparent is stressful! lol

The bigger question is whether you used proper etiquette while texting your daughter.

I agree that for many, getting older and wiser also brings us more awareness of the dangers of the world. I don't think it is irrational. And is more prevalent when your children are grown because you no longer have control over their environment.

 

[js]

That would be me. I texted DD this morning to ask her some stupid questions. This stupid tragedy stuff is always on my mind. (Falling off a cruise ship - we have no plans to cruise, falling under the ice of the lake - he will never be on the lake when it's frozen, falling in their water tank - its a small hole that has a screw on cap, etc.)

I do not remember being like this when DD was little. I guess because I'm not stuck in the day to day parenting routine that my mind wanders to these irrational thoughts.

Any other grandparents, or parents, like this?

No, it's not debilitating. They are usually fleeting thoughts. Being a grandparent is stressful! lol

Mom, is this you? OMG I had to make sure this wasnt my mom who is also on the dis. My “kids” are 24, 20 and my sister has three kids 11-14. Im 51 and my mom will text, what I think irrational thoughts. She pieces together the worst case senarios. I dont know how she even comes up with some crazy ideas lol

Now you can both be crazy together lol but in a good loving way lol

 

[smiths02]

That would be me. I texted DD this morning to ask her some stupid questions. This stupid tragedy stuff is always on my mind. (Falling off a cruise ship - we have no plans to cruise, falling under the ice of the lake - he will never be on the lake when it's frozen, falling in their water tank - its a small hole that has a screw on cap, etc.)

I do not remember being like this when DD was little. I guess because I'm not stuck in the day to day parenting routine that my mind wanders to these irrational thoughts.

Any other grandparents, or parents, like this?

No, it's not debilitating. They are usually fleeting thoughts. Being a grandparent is stressful! lol

Are you my mother-in-law? LOL
I love, love, love my mother-in-law but sometimes I think that the worrying is over-the-top. We took them on a cruise, and there was a lot of "what if someone falls off." But she wants us to drive 3 hours each way to visit them as often as we can...when the chances of us being in a car wreck are SO much greater.

Just a word of advice from a daughter-in-law, try to keep some of your worries to yourself because they sometimes come across as a critique of their parenting style and/or they stifle independence in the grandchildren.

 

[firefly_ris]

Not that this is you, but my parents have 24 hour cable news on... uh, all the time. Like, ALL the time. I'm not a big TV watcher, I work from home, and prefer the peaceful quietness that occurs when my kids are all at school. If I have any noise it's typically music, Pandora or a record. But when I'm at their house visiting -- that news is.always.on. In the kitchen, in the office, in the family room.... sometimes all 3 TVs are on at the same time whether someone is watching them or not. Ahhh!! When they come here to visit, I don't have cable, so my dad streams it on his iPad and leaves it laying around my house blaring cable news. Stooooop.

Anyway, my long-winded point to this is that we are connected to news ALL the time -- we are intaking soooo much information all the time, and we hear a LOT more awful things on a regular basis than we did 20 years ago. My mom will bring up what I consider such random, out-there tragedy scenarios that she is worried about. So I don't think this is extremely uncommon.

 

[wvjules]

I do usually keep them to myself. But for some reason the water tank was really on my mind this morning (which is what i texted her about - in complete sentences with proper punctuation). I share my irrational fears with my DBF, who tells me how unlikely these incidents happening are. Which I KNOW!

It's weird because the scenarios that mind come up with are so off the wall and will NEVER happen. I don't worry about every day accidents. It's gotta be some huge unlikely off the wall tragedy that won't ever happen. Weird.

 

[Nora03]

You bet! I have crazy thoughts too, but not without reason. At times I replay phone calls in my mind (son-in-law died suddenly), text messages where I’ve been informed that my granddaughter is no longer in remission, admitted to hospital, jobs lost, call from Las Vegas when my daughter was there during that mass shooting last year, (she was safe) etc. Sometimes I wonder how I’m still sane. However I try to just say “stay safe” and let them know that I love them. I try to push the bad things into the back of my mind. Hope you can too. I wonder if this is part of growing older.

 

[smiths02]

I do usually keep them to myself. But for some reason the water tank was really on my mind this morning (which is what i texted her about - in complete sentences with proper punctuation). I share my irrational fears with my DBF, who tells me how unlikely these incidents happening are. Which I KNOW!

It's weird because the scenarios that mind come up with are so off the wall and will NEVER happen. I don't worry about every day accidents. It's gotta be some huge unlikely off the wall tragedy that won't ever happen. Weird.

My mom took a fire safety class for her job. She first asked if you had both kinds of smoke detectors. I replied yes, years ago.

Then I got a long list of all the reasons we needed both. AFTER I had told her we had it covered. LOL

I think it must just happen as you age. I'm not looking forward to it!

Not that this is you, but my parents have 24 hour cable news on... uh, all the time. Like, ALL the time. I'm not a big TV watcher, I work from home, and prefer the peaceful quietness that occurs when my kids are all at school. If I have any noise it's typically music, Pandora or a record. But when I'm at their house visiting -- that news is.always.on. In the kitchen, in the office, in the family room.... sometimes all 3 TVs are on at the same time whether someone is watching them or not. Ahhh!! When they come here to visit, I don't have cable, so my dad streams it on his iPad and leaves it laying around my house blaring cable news. Stooooop.

Anyway, my long-winded point to this is that we are connected to news ALL the time -- we are intaking soooo much information all the time, and we hear a LOT more awful things on a regular basis than we did 20 years ago. My mom will bring up what I consider such random, out-there tragedy scenarios that she is worried about. So I don't think this is extremely uncommon.

Totally my in-laws. If you hear about a tree falling on a kid 300 times in one day...then you probably start to think it is likely even though it is one kid.

 

[lorimay]

In the hopes I am not revealing too much of my personal life........

I have become this grandmother you speak of.
I was not this paranoid when my kids were little, now with 3 grandkids, I worry about EVERYTHING!
I often ask my husband "Was I just stupid and naive when our kids were small?" I never worried like I do now, I make myself crazy about stupid things.

 

[firefly_ris]

Totally my in-laws. If you hear about a tree falling on a kid 300 times in one day...then you probably start to think it is likely even though it is one kid.

LOL, yes!! The tree thing has been mentioned to me. We live on a bit of acreage with a LOT of trees and a creek. Brain damage, death. I get it. I understand. It's quite horrible. How come she wasn't this concerned about tree limbs falling on me as a kid, where I would often wander into our woods after lunch time and not come back until after dark??

 

[NYCgrrl]

My kids are in their 30's and 40's now. DGD lives with us most of the year and she's now 13 y/o.
When my oldest son was born I thought he was a porcelain doll who with break if breathed on too hard. By the time his younger brother was born 6 years later I realized that most of my children were Mack trucks and "submerged" my irrational fears that I would trip and they'd go sailing out the window, drown in the bathtub while I brushed my teeth and such.

Former DIL had these fears about DGD when she was born and I tried my best to get her past the feelings. Same with the man who is the step grandfather of DGD and a total worrywart. I no longer concern self w/ frmr DIL's inner demons (we despise each other and settle for polite) but do try to help the man work past his knowledge of the greater world and allow DGD to be an independent being. She just turned 13 and is now going to school independently for the first time not counting the occasional taxi ride. My current responsibility is to keep her "Ompaah" in line when he thinks she's still 3, LOL.

 

[Christine]

Mom, is this you? OMG I had to make sure this wasnt my mom who is also on the dis. My “kids” are 24, 20 and my sister has three kids 11-14. Im 51 and my mom will text, what I think irrational thoughts. She pieces together the worst case senarios. I dont know how she even comes up with some crazy ideas lol

Now you can both be crazy together lol but in a good loving way lol

I'm 54 and my mom is in her 70s. My kids are in their 20s. She drives me nuts. With every trip they take or whatever they are doing she is trying to worry me with all the catastrophic things that could happen.

 

[Distinkt]

Yup. I don't text it but...… We were watching our grandsons last weekend and took them to the children's garden in their area. It has a little rock creek with flowing water that was created for them to walk in. They were soaked and we took off their wet clothes and drove home, I commented that they had to get a bath. My husband commented, "I know, I know, you want to rinse the amoeba that will cause necrotizing flesh eating disease off of them!" I wondered how he read my mind! lol

 

[QueenIsabella]

I think everyone has random thoughts of bizarre horrors that could befall your children or grandchildren. How could you not, when you turn on the news and hear that a child fell into a well, or drowned in a toilet or got strangled by their hood lace or some other event? I think it's only problematic when these thoughts are invasive and you can't stop thinking about them, or when they interfere with everyday life. If you refuse to let your 8yo (child or grandchild) drink ice water because they "might" choke to death on an ice cube--you need help, your anxiety is unhealthy. If you hand them a glass of ice water and randomly think, "Oh, he could choke on an ice cube" and realize you're being silly, then you're okay.

 

[ronandannette]

I do usually keep them to myself. But for some reason the water tank was really on my mind this morning (which is what i texted her about - in complete sentences with proper punctuation). I share my irrational fears with my DBF, who tells me how unlikely these incidents happening are. Which I KNOW!

It's weird because the scenarios that mind come up with are so off the wall and will NEVER happen. I don't worry about every day accidents. It's gotta be some huge unlikely off the wall tragedy that won't ever happen. Weird.

Their hot water tank?? Like you texted to say " DD, please go check your hot water tank right now because I have a really bad feeling about it"? Sorry, that just strikes me as funny. Did your DBF not get a chance to filter this one before you sent it?

 

[georgina]

I have always had anxiety issues, and think they increased as I have gotten older. My kids are used to me, my DDs are very adventurous and it stresses me out! One DD is going to Bogota for 3 weeks for a grad school project. I may not sleep much those weeks. I don't even have grandchildren yet!

 

[wvjules]

No. They have a water tank outside underground that they get filled with water. No well or city water. It’s a big underground tank. Trucks come fill it. That’s what I was thinking about. Not a hot water tank.

 

[ols386]

Yes I’m a worry wort about my grandson. I sometimes keep my worries to myself, but there are times when I share those worries with dd. Sometimes she looks at me like I have three heads on my shoulders.

 

[MamaLema]

This is me as a mom and I think I will be even worse as a grandma.

DS22 is going on a trip to Japan and he reassures me it’s a safe country but I’m worried about earthquakes

 

[kdonnel]

Sounds like several people and their grandmas could use a trip to Canada to get some recreational marijuana to relax.