In-laws at Walt Disney World

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I would simply not tell them you are going. We have never told my husband parents that we have had a DVC timeshare for 10 years because of the backlash we would get not to mention my BIL's would try to mouch the timeshare time from us!

We have done many many trips and never said a thing to them. They don't like Disney. I had mentioned that I was taking my Nieces on my side in 2014 and FIL said that it stupid to bring a almost 3 year because she won't remember it. I said to him. "it doesn't matter. She travels for free, eats for free and get into the parks for free. IF she doesn't remember that fine because it did not cost us anything to bring her. That shut him up.

 

[sweetcreams]

How long will you be there? What about a compromise? Suggesting they come for two days and then saying, "For days 3-7 we are going to be going at a super-fast pace and we can't put you guys through that. We'd love to do stuff with you on Sunday and Monday though?"


My first instinct is to slip arsenic in their coffee, but I just double checked and I'm pretty sure it's frowned on.

We usually go for 10 or 11 days. I got DH to talk them down to 6 days last time. Maybe he could get them down to 2 or 3 next time. Or maybe they could stop hijacking my vacations!

 

[sweetcreams]

I would simply not tell them you are going. We have never told husband parents that we have had a DVC for 10 years because of the backlash we would get not to mention my BIL's would try to mouch the timeshare time from us!

We have done many many trips and never said a thing to them. They don't like Disney. I had mentioned that I was taking my Nieces on my side in 2014 and FIL said that it stupid to bring a almost 3 year because she won't remember it. I said to him. "it doesn't matter. She travels for free, eats for free and get into the parks for free. IF she doesn't remember that fine because it did not cost us anything to bring her. That shut him up.

Oh my gosh...I wish I would have done that in the first place!

 

[macajack]

We are traveling with MIL in October. I really wasnt too concerned... now...

 

[disykat]

You guys have given me an idea; a wonderful, awful idea. Maybe if I take them to my local amusement park this summer they will remember what a pain it is to go to the parks with us. Then I'll bring up Disney at the end of the long, hot, exhausting day. Kind of aversion therapy! Maybe that will do the trick!

I'd combine this idea with the beach idea. See if they will meet you at the beach after WDW for a couple of relaxing days. "Man, you almost need a vacation from your vacation after a theme park! Hey, I have an idea! How about instead of coming to WDW with us, you meet us afterwards for two nights at x beach so we can have a nice relaxing visit!"

I honestly think it would be more fun to do a week at WDW alone followed by a few days at the beach afterwards than to have more days at WDW but have to cater to their schedule.

Better yet, do the beach break in the MIDDLE of the vacation!

 

[bigbabyblues]

We never tell anyone we arre going on vacation because we don't want anyone travelling with us. However, if you always vacation with your family, that won't work. Unless you start just vscationing on your own?

Good luck! I do like the idea of a short visit to a local place with thrm, though.

 

[khaoskat]

I would just say that you guys have not set a date yet, because of schedules, then just drop it...and if they bring it back up, say Oh...we set it a while ago, and totally forgot.

 

[Gracie09]

We must be related because this sounds like my inlaws, except add two sils, one who has never been to disney but knows everything, and who never showed up to the parks before 11 but got mad when we were there already with our fast passes in hand for rides.

Thankfully DH turned to me on day two and said - never again are we vacationing anywhere with my family.

You have to remind your dh of the issues involved in traveling with his family and he has to have to conversation with them. If you have it your are the witchy dil who hates them and never wants them to see the grandkids.

 

[purpledisneyprncess]

We never tell anyone we arre going on vacation because we don't want anyone travelling with us. However, if you always vacation with your family, that won't work. Unless you start just vscationing on your own?

Good luck! I do like the idea of a short visit to a local place with thrm, though.

That is smart not to tell anyone when you are going on vacation. My MIL watches my daughter 2x a week so we do have to give them the heads up; or else I wouldn't say anything either. Sometimes the less they know, the better! I like to keep things private, saves me from a lot of aggravation and those "eye rolls" people love to give regarding OUR lives!

 

[mm1971]

You guys have given me an idea; a wonderful, awful idea. Maybe if I take them to my local amusement park this summer they will remember what a pain it is to go to the parks with us. Then I'll bring up Disney at the end of the long, hot, exhausting day. Kind of aversion therapy! Maybe that will do the trick!

That may work. Make sure you go from end to end and back so they get tired first. We decided it was better to take local day trips and offered that. I also had to commit to driving them to the casino (2 hours away and I usually don't go) in order to get them to not think about hijacking the vacation. One day is certainly worth saving the Disney week. Of course no one knows I already booked our Disney vacation in August.

 

[sassie_kat]

We just got back from our second family trip to WDW. The first involved my entire family (Mother, Father, Sister, BIL, and Nephew in addition to the 5 people in my household). This last one was our family, my BIL and niece. Both of them were good trips with stressful pieces. For my family trip, I fell into my usual role of pleaser and tried to make sure that everybody was happy/fed/enjoying the park/etc. As a result, we did very little because even though I had plans and knew that we should be doing things in x, y, z order I didn't speak up for fear of hurting someone's feelings. My mother and BIL clashed and my BIL often had to step away from the group because my mother is very over bearing and at a point in her life where she CAN do for her grandkids so she does - whether it is wanted or not.

This trip was interesting because we were dealing with the issue of my oldest being sick, dealing with a niece who is not handling her parents (not new) divorce well/struggling with the fact that her mother is an alcoholic, balancing the need for work (my husband) with the fact that the family needed him. BUT, I don't have a defined role in that family group and as such was able to step up and lead everyone through a packed schedule at very busy parks. We still had the occasional melt down/time out (even the grown-ups!) but we were able to step away for a minute and come back together.

I was talking with my mom yesterday about the trip and she told me that she and my dad had a conversation while we were gone. Basically, she was hurt that we didn't involve her/ask her to come along this time and she was whining to my dad about it. He looked at her and said that yes, it stinks that they weren't invited this time but didn't she remember how nice it was to be able to go on family vacations without her parents along? For the first time in forever, she admitted that she can be a handful and then apologized if her behavior is what made us not invite her (it wasn't, but it was still nice to hear.)

Anyway - you're not going to hell for not wanting the in-laws to ruin another vacation. You've gotten some great advice from others and I hope something will make sense for your family. I think somebody suggested renting a house off site for them and visiting there - would that be a possibility at all? They can still get a vacation but not feel like they're ruining yours. They can hang out during the day by themselves or go do touristy things at their own pace and you guys could come over in the afternoon/evening and have a place to chill/visit.

Best of luck!

 

[Mrs Green]

We have vacationed with both sets of families in the past, but never to wdw. Most of the trips have negative aspects for sure. Luckily, dh and I agree on what the issues are. Also as a kid I went to wdw with a large extended family a couple times. The trick with that was, my aunt/the planner, wrote an itinerary so we could do things together or break off into small groups if we chose. If we wound up in a situation like yours, OP, I feel the best thing to do is have a talk with Dh about exactly what went wrong last time, how to have a better outcome this time (if possible) and just general boundaries you need for your family, even write an itinerary. Have him talk with his parents at that point. If they go then stick to your boundaries (only meeting up for a mid day break, ADR for dinner). If you want to be at mk for rope drop and they aren't ready you still go...they can text when they arrive. Whatever it takes for your family to still have a fun vacation without badly hurting his parents feelings!

 

[JohnstonMandy]

We are planning a big trip for 2015 and I know my inlaws are hoping we are going to invite them. Ain't gonna happen. LOL

 

[chloelovesdisney]

If Disney is not their thing, can you plan another vacation with them? I never plan a vacation with one set of grandparents, without also making plans with the other. It creates hard feelings.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

If Disney is not their thing, can you plan another vacation with them? I never plan a vacation with one set of grandparents, without also making plans with the other. It creates hard feelings.

This is a good idea. I get the feeling from your posts that you just want to vacation with your family, and not your husband's. That's not fair. Now, Disney may not be the place for your IL's, but maybe they feel like they have no real choice, as that's where you go. Maybe you should sit down with them and work out a nice vacation for your family and theirs to go on together--whether or not it's to WDW.

 

[chicagoshannon]

Can you send the lids to them for a week this summer instead?

We brought my inlaws 2 years ago. It was a lot grader than going with my parents.

 

[tjmj9801]

Tell them sorry but no. My MIL ruined 2 of our trips. Never again.

 

[Timandalicia]

We are going on our second trip with the in-laws. You know how we are remedying it? We are going again a month later without them. We figure, shorten both trips and the extra expense will be the plane tickets- $800 total. For me it'll be worth it. Ill be completely happy with both trips. Knowing I'll be back soon, will let me go at a Grandma's pace the first time around.

 

[daisy2jae]

We took my MIL and FIL December 2012. I can say I'll never go on another trip with them again. I experienced similar situations. We have informed everyone we will be making it a special trip just the 5 of us. We explained we didn't get our normal family time because we felt like tour guides. They understood and were happy we took them once. We love Disney and our annual trip is something we look forward to. I don't want to say I wasted our money but it for sure wasn't our favorite trip.

 

[sweetcreams]

This is a good idea. I get the feeling from your posts that you just want to vacation with your family, and not your husband's. That's not fair. Now, Disney may not be the place for your IL's, but maybe they feel like they have no real choice, as that's where you go. Maybe you should sit down with them and work out a nice vacation for your family and theirs to go on together--whether or not it's to WDW.

I DO just want to vacation with my family. I feel like it's OUR thing, and I resent the fact that they are insinuating themselves, not once but twice.

My in-laws don't go anywhere on vacation. My MIL has never been an active person, but now with her bad legs she can't get around at all. The beach would be an impossibility. It was a huge deal for my MIL to travel with her sisters once to visit a sister in FL. They think everything is soooo expensive, every restaurant is too hot, every waitress is too slow.

We visit them once or twice a year and they visit us once or twice a year but, like I said, they don't even attempt to spend time with the kids, beyond sitting on the couch and watching spongebob together. I'm willing to waste a week of my life sitting in their over-air-conditioned cave of a house, but I'm really not willing to waste another $4000 on a vacation, at the end of which I feel I missed tons of stuff.

This is why I'm going to hell, but it may be worth it for an in-law free Disney vacation!