How will I know when "it's time" for my kitty?- update post #22.

leebee

DIS Veteran
Joined
Sep 14, 1999
We have 2 cats, brothers, strictly indoor cats, that are 17 years old. We've had them since they were kittens, and they have always been healthy cats, weighing around 15 pounds for most of their adult lives. Neither of these cats has ever been picky about food- in fact, they are quite the opposite. If there's food left down, they gobble it up. About 4 months ago, one of them (Potter) started seeming to be picky about eating, not finishing his food, etc. It's gotten to the point where he will hardly eat anything at all. I have tried a variety of wet and dry foods in a variety of flavors, but he won't eat much of anything anymore, not even bites/licks of his favorite people-foods (yogurt, cheese strands, roast chicken). We offer fresh food all the time, but I don't think he eats a tablespoon of dry food and 1-2 tablespoons of wet food (thinned to soup consistency with water) a day, total, although he is still drinking the usual amount of water. We've been to the vet and she says his teeth are fine. She did some blood work and said she doesn't suspect renal or hepatic failure, cancer, etc. She says he's just old, this is the way it goes sometimes, and that we'll know when it's time to help him cross the Rainbow Bridge if he doesn't outright pass away. My husband pressed for details (what should we look for) and she just kept saying, "You'll know."

Potter is down to about 9 pounds. I can hold him, palpate his tummy, etc., and he doesn't react against this, so it doesn't seem like he's in pain or distress. He is very skinny through the hips and backbone, and his gait is slow and a little wobbly, although he still seems to jump up on the couch easily and gets in and out of the litter box. He spends most of his day sleeping, but will move from place to place as the sun shifts and warms a new sleeping spot, and he'll still chase a flashlight when we play with him (although more slowly, but he's 17). I can see that he's aged in the past few months, and is slowing down, but he doesn't seem to be suffering at all... but he really won't eat. I just spent an hour coaxing, offering different food options, etc., and got him to eat two crunchy treats. He clearly is dwindling. Although we lost cats when I was growing up, these were indoor/outdoor cats who simply disappeared, or were hit by vehicles- I have no experiences with losing elderly cats. HOW will I know if it's time for us to intervene, to prevent him suffering needlessly?
 
I'm sorry you're going through this, we lost our cat who was 17 in March. He was a chubby dude and fiesty as can be and then he started to loose weight and sleep a lot, brought him to vet, she said he was an old cat but nothing really she could diagnose..... he went a few more months then in March he couldn't walk anymore his back legs just dragged, I knew that day it was time......... He was strictly indoors too.
 
We just let our 17.5 year old kitty journey on 2 weeks ago tomorrow , I'm still heartbroken.
You will know.
Mine began to lose weight about 2+ years ago ..in the end, she was down from 14 lbs to 4.5 lbs.
Tiny , skin and bones. For her , she had 'something' growing in her sinuses but at her age couldn't put her through the diagnostics. The last few days her left jaw was fused shut , agony to see , she wanted to eat and couldn't ..I syringed food mixed with water into the other side but there was no way I could sustain life that way for lunch given the small amounts she was actually getting and why? For us not to let her go?

There's a food usually sold at your Veterinarian called Urgent Care and it's very high in calories so even if you only get a tspn in a couple of times a day it's decent enough and they seem to love it. I'm thinking of you , it's so hard.
 
It is true, you just know. Our pup Harry just deteriorated and at the end I knew that he wasn't coming back from the vet that night... I was heartbroken. Worse, I was a coward. I knew what was happening behind that vet's door and I didn't have the guts to be there for him. I couldn't stand to see him pass.
 


No you weren't a coward ..for all of mine , I've stayed as long as I could...but never to the final moment. We do what we can do.
My daughters usually have...this last baby , the vet came here ..I stayed for part of it and I did see her after she'd passed but she was wrapped in a cosy blanket so I couldn't see her chest not moving. I kissed her face and told her I'd love her forever...
 
Our cat is 18 years old with a load of medical issues and this is something I think about every day. A couple of months ago, I asked the doctor what we should look for and how will we know when it's time and she said "when the cat stops doing 3 things she loves." She mentioned things like greeting at the door, sitting by the window, does she still play, etc.

Our cat is super social and always near one of us so if she stopped doing that, it would be a sign. If she lets me sleep in for more than 2 or 3 days, that would be a sign. I pay close attention to her eating & litter box habits, how she moves around, etc. We feel like she's getting close, but she's not quite there yet.

I am sorry you have to think about this, it's a really hard time. I am also sorry for everyone here who has lost pets. :(
 
You will know, honestly if you listen to your gut and not your heart. I have had to make the call for three of our beloved dogs and they just let you know they are tired and ready for this chapter to end.

We also have a 17 year old kitty. She had a stroke almost 2 years ago and I thought it was time to let her go; she was falling down and wasn't using the litter box but still was very affectionate and eating. I took her to the vet for the final appointment and the vet actually suggested (after a conversation) that we give her the weekend. Autumn wasn't in pain, so I agreed. She has recovered significantly and I am very glad we didn't go ahead. She still is unsteady, especially when a weather front is approaching and I had to reconfigure the litter box situation to accommodate her but these extra years have been worth it.
 


We've always had indoor cats, and every one has got to the end in their own unique way. However, with all of them, the question was always...

Is our cat enjoying life?

One of ours died of kidney disease. She was 18, and feisty as anything. I never thought I'd find myself nursing a cat so intensively at the end of her life, including making special musical mixes to keep her company at night, having her in diapers (she was cool with it), giving her subcutaneous fluids (perked her right up), warming her food in the microwave and mushing it up before giving it to her... Through it all, though, her eyes were bright and she seemed interested in everything. She wouldn't eat much, but she ate, and she loved her spot by the window and she loved hanging out with us and talking to us. Then one night she had a seizure, and the light just seemed to go out of her eyes. When I petted her, she barely reacted. She seemed uncomfortable and withdrawn. We knew it was time. We said goodbye and took her for that final ride to the vet (she didn't even seem to notice that she was in the car), and we got to hold her in our arms as she died.

It was sad, but the timing was right.

With another cat, who was 16 and had cancer, we didn't go as far in nursing her, because she seemed to manage quite well (albeit sleeping a lot more) until one morning I found her on her cushion in a puddle of urine, and when I tried to stand her up, she collapsed. And again, her eyes were dull and flat, and it was clearly time.

It's always hard to lose a cat, but I take much condolence in the thought that they've lived good long lives, and we were able to be there for them at the end.

I have another now that is 17, and not particularly interested in his food any more. I'm grateful for every day he's still with us. Best wishes to you and your cats, and I hope things go reasonably easily for you all.
 
I am so sorry to hear this--it brought tears to my eyes in Jan we had to have our cubbie put o sleep he was 18--he noticed he was losing weight had the vet come took some blood and he had lukemina this was in Oct of 2016

we nursed him till Jan when we knew it was time 9(ts funny cause I think all vets say the same "youll know when its time and there right somehow you just how

she also had us make a list of things he loved to do that he didnt do anymore--which we could see there were quiet a few that he just stopped doing

he loved to lay on our bed-

its so hard to say good bye to the smallest members of the family

please take care OP and trust your instictcs you wil know when its time
 
It sounds so cliche but you will know. For me, if I had to question it, it wasn't time. We took our beloved dog to the vet as he was pretty sick. He was in the hospital for a week and seemed to do fairly well. We brought him home and he seemed so much better, but started failing again fairly soon. We went to the emergency vets and she said that things didn't look good but he seemed as though he wasn't ready. He was wagging his tail, came when called, wanted his belly rubbed. We agreed and decided to bring him home. The following day, things got worse yet and we took him to our regular vets. We were fully prepared to let him go, the vet said he was fairly certain he could turn it around. At that point, neither myself or my DH could make that decision. We didn't want him suffering but if there was a chance. The following day, we were told it wasn't going to work and we made the decision to put him down. We saw it in his eyes that he was ready, we knew we didn't want him to suffer and as hard as it was, we knew we had to make that decision.

I am so sorry you are going through this. As hard as it was to lose our other beloved little guy, he died in my lap from a heart attack. Just not having to make that decision made things better. The end result was still gut wrenching and broke our hearts but to have that decision to make is awful.
 
You really will know, as others have said. If you're unsure, it's probably not time. I had a very similar experience to @Magpie's with one of my cats. She was just shy of 20 years old and had been declining for about a year; just the usual aging things - quieting down, sleeping more, losing weight. When she stopped eating, we went to the vet and learned she was pretty far into kidney failure. She received subcutaneous fluids and perked up for a few days, but the drop-off after that was significant and we're pretty sure she had a seizure. Her eyes were flat and dull, she was drooling constantly, could barely walk, and couldn't seem to get comfortable and sleep - that was the sign for me. This was a gal who made napping an Olympic sport, so to see her unable to rest, but also unable to do much of anything else... I just knew. And honestly, once I knew, it wasn't as agonizing as I expected, I think because it felt like we both knew it was the right thing at the right time. :hug: Hang in there, OP, and trust your feelings.
 
Honestly I can't even read this thread...too sad. I know you'll do the right thing at the right time leebee, all the best in the meantime.:hug:
 
I work for a house-call vet and we do a fair amount of euthanasia's since people like to have it done at home.
One thing the doctor always tells people who call up and ask this question is that when they are having more bad days than good days, then you know it is time. She also encourages people to keep a little calendar to mark the days so you can easily see how your pet has been feeling.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It's so hard knowing when to say goodbye to such a special friend. I have 4 cats and 2 of them are 14 and I know we are nearing the end of our time together.
Dig out old kitten pictures and talk about all the fun you've had with them over the years. Lots of love to you!
 
Thank you, everyone, for sharing your stories and experiences. Based on what everyone wrote, I can tell it's not time yet but can see it's close. Potter has stopped following the laser dot around, when he used to tie himself in knots trying to catch that spot of light (this was happening back at Christmas, so this is a big difference). He eats better if we only feed him once a day.. I think he just isn't really hungry anymore. DD23 is an only child, so very very attached to "the boys;" I just hope that she can return from her summer assignment (in Ecuador) and come home to visit once more while Potter is still with us. He is such a good kitty- as much as i love him and all this is making me cry to read/write, I don't want him to suffer. Thanks again for your support :cat:
 
I have this same question too.

We had two sister kitties. Both 16. One of them was put down a few weeks ago because of behavioral issues and we had to make a hard call. Her sister has thyroid issues and cannot tolerate the medicine. She is so skinny and just this week, suddenly braced herself, looking unstable on her feet and made I'm-having-trouble-breathing sounds.

My fear is that we will be out of town and she throws a blood clot or something else painful and we won't be here with her to rush her to the vet. When we travel, we have someone come in twice a day for food and pets, but what do you do when you have an aged kitty and you travel?

She also sometimes acts like she is seeing things that aren't there. Ugh.
 
We had dogs, and when I asked my best friend (who breeds them) about when the time is right, her answer was, "When they look at you and say that they're not having fun anymore."

My sympathies for you, and for those that have recently lost pets. It's heartbreaking to lose a family member.
 
I have this same question too.

We had two sister kitties. Both 16. One of them was put down a few weeks ago because of behavioral issues and we had to make a hard call. Her sister has thyroid issues and cannot tolerate the medicine. She is so skinny and just this week, suddenly braced herself, looking unstable on her feet and made I'm-having-trouble-breathing sounds.

My fear is that we will be out of town and she throws a blood clot or something else painful and we won't be here with her to rush her to the vet. When we travel, we have someone come in twice a day for food and pets, but what do you do when you have an aged kitty and you travel?

She also sometimes acts like she is seeing things that aren't there. Ugh.

Personally, if at all possible, I would ask a friend to come and stay in our home while we were gone, to keep an eye on the cat.

I do have a friend who has done this for us because our dog can't be left alone, and we compensate her for her time, as well as providing food money, etc.
 
I admit i skimmed vrs read but unlike the previous posters I did not know pumpkin was ready I am not sure how I missed but the vet had to tell us but it was a longer journey for pumpkin then it should have been
 
Leebee you are asking all the right questions. Keep evaluating and watching. We have been down this road w 4 dogs and 5 cats. Each was different. I have never had one go on its own. However, we have waited too long at times.

It is a very fine line. Great advice above. When the quality of life is gone, it's time

Have the conversation now if you haven't already.
Do you want to be in the room? It is quick and painless. I choose to be there for them, but it is ok if you can't
Do you want Potter cremated?
Do you want the ashes?
Do you want to bring his body home and bury it?
Hard decisions but if you make them now you won't have to the day of

Regardless of when you make the call, know you are doing the right and responsible thing.​
 
I agree that you will know. It is a heartbreaking decision, but your friend will let you know when it is time to let go. My last Buddy Baxter went from eating to not eating overnight. HE started losing weight and at first I through he was peeved because I changed his food. I was busy so I just bought a bag at the grocery rather than heading to the pet store for his brand. No. I took him to the vet who discovered a tumor. The vet told me to feed him anything he wanted, from cooked chicken and a light sauce to any canned food he would eat, and gave him a shot of something to see if it helped. He did not seem to be in pain, and was still running around, jumping on my bed and greeting us at the door. Two weeks later he was not. He stopped eating and had lost even more weight. I took him back for another check, but I knew what the vet would say. You just know. I am so sorry.
 

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