How much should each family pay the baby sitter?

[kirstenb1]

OP doesn't indicate how the babysitting situation came up. How would couple #2 know it's $3 per hour for an additional kid unless couple #1 told them so? They should have told the other couple the total cost per hour, and then either request at 50/50 or 66/33 split. It appears poor communication led to a misunderstanding. Suck it up and don't offer to share the babysitter with them again.

My brother once complained about an invitation he and his wife received about sharing a rental house in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It was a large house, something like eight bedrooms. Four families were invited. Brother and SIL don't have kids, the other couples do. The "host family," who had four kids and would probably occupy at least three bedrooms, wanted each couple to pay 1/4 of the total cost.

I don't like going out with large groups (over 8) and then splitting the check evenly. It seems more often than not there is one couple who takes advantage, orders expensive items and lots of alcohol, then expects their meal to be subsidized by the others.

That vacation scenario is nuts. To me, the most fair way is to divvy up the costs by bedroom. The houses we stay at seem to allocate the bigger, or master bedrooms logically, assuming families traveling with kids. Like a 5 bedroom house has 2 masters, and 3 smaller. So if one family has more kids, and needs 2 of the 3 bedrooms, they should pay 3/5. My brother and his friends do a per person split. The rest of the expenses are really just groceries, and that's easy to divvy out. We all tend to spend the same amount, and everyone brings some booze.

 

[msjprincess]

That vacation scenario is nuts. To me, the most fair way is to divvy up the costs by bedroom. The houses we stay at seem to allocate the bigger, or master bedrooms logically, assuming families traveling with kids. Like a 5 bedroom house has 2 masters, and 3 smaller. So if one family has more kids, and needs 2 of the 3 bedrooms, they should pay 3/5. My brother and his friends do a per person split. The rest of the expenses are really just groceries, and that's easy to divvy out. We all tend to spend the same amount, and everyone brings some booze.

That's the way we do it when go to OBX. I guess we're all nuts. We divide by "adult bedrooms". Kids sleep wherever, bunk rooms, twin rooms, rec room couch.... It may not work for everyone but we've gone with at least 15 other couples and it works for all of us.

 

[PleasejointheFarque]

oh good god.....

 

[LovesTimone]

Well if I was babysitting which I did alot when I was a teenager, if this discussion went on in front of me, I would not babysit for them ever again... All this should have been sorted out before they went out...

Your family just split it 50/50 and move on with your day...or night...

As far as when you rent a vacation home with multiple families, or couples, and singles - this is where is get touchy... We rented a huge house at the beach with a large group of friends, and we divided it up differently... there were 6 bedrooms, 1 bunk room - 3 sets of bunk beds and a attic space loft with 2 full beds. there were couples and singles... so we just priced out each room, and went from there... so that the singles paid a divided amount for the room as well as the loft space... It worked out to right at 188.00 a night for each room (1,500 a night), and we stay 3 nights, So we just paid one couple in cash when we arrived for our share. One couple left after the first night as they were arguing, they were up at midnight fussing and fighting so loud that no-one could sleep, so DH and one of the other guys, knocked on the door and told then to chill out, that enough was enough, so they were gone the next morning when we all got up and around and then wanted their money back for the 2 nights that they did not stay, they did not get their money back, and they did ended up getting a divorce...

I think that when you rent or split anything with anyone... its best just to be up front about the money talk about it so that everyone is on the same page and this way there are no surprise along the way...

 

[smiths02]

Where I live now the servers ALWAYS ask. They ask when it’s a large group, when it’s just my husband and I, and they even ask when I’m out with my college-aged daughter.


In the case of the babysitting if it had been at my house I would have just paid the whole amount. (I had already planned the expense of babysitting for my own kids and the few extra bucks to provide my friends with free childcare would have been a kind gesture.) If I was the parent of the “extra” child I would have offered to pay half.

That said, there must have been some discussion about the cost beforehand for the second couple to even know about the $3 per additional child. So, they should have been more clear if the intention was to split it. Perhaps the way it was phrased suggested that the first couple was already paying the babysitter, “so for just $3 more you could leave Johnny at our house where he would have fun playing with our kids rather than looking for your own sitter.”

Where I live, the servers almost always ask, especially if it doesn't look like a nuclear family. I know because it gives my DM the opportunity to always say "one check" even though she is NEVER the one paying. (Maybe I should start a thread about how rude that is LOL)

 

[sam_gordon]

Where I live, the servers almost always ask, especially if it doesn't look like a nuclear family. I know because it gives my DM the opportunity to always say "one check" even though she is NEVER the one paying. (Maybe I should start a thread about how rude that is LOL)

Whoever says "one check" pays the check IMO.

 

[smiths02]

Whoever says "one check" pays the check IMO.

I agree.
With my mom, she makes almost nothing, so it is always me inviting her. In other words, I know she isn't going to pay, and I don't ask her to come along unless I am willing to pay for her.
It does annoy me that she doesn't let me or my DH (or my ILs if they are paying) say "one check."

 

[Nancyg56]

So let's make it extreme... lets say you have a family of 10 using 5 bedrooms and a family of 2 using 1 bedroom (in a 6 bedroom house). Both families should pay the same? Use the same number of kids... should the family with 1 kid pay the same as the family with 10 kids (just an example)?

Should we break out the restaurant question where two couples go to dinner, one has appetizer, drink, steaks, and desert, and the other couple has soup, salad, and water? I'm guessing those couples should split the check evenly too.

We do, almost always. I have rarely not split a bill down the middle, however if one of the couples really ordered way less than us I would just tell them what their share was, and let it go. I would never let someone pay in excess for our share. Honestly, DH and I usually cover the bill anyway.

To keep that from being an issue when dining with a group we always just get separate checks. Restaurants have never balked at splitting it up, especially if I mention the fact up front.

Otherwise you really run into issues as some people drink, some don't, some want an appetizer, some don't, etc.

These are little things for my group. We tend to add in tip and then dived by how many couples there are. I have not noticed that we all are that far apart and the general consensus is that eventually it evens out.

If I am close enough with someone to share a babysitter, a meal or a vacation rental , I can’t imagine nickel
And diming over the bill.
We would just split 50/50

When dining with another couple that we go out with frequently someone will often pay the entire bill and the other leave the tip. Next time it reverses. We don’t keep a tally!

The whole babysitting thing baffles me. In our family we just always split the cost, not matter the number kids.

When we rent a house we divide by the number of families. No one counts the kids. If anyone has a problem with this they need to rent their own space. We allocate the rooms based on what makes sense, not who paid more. None of us paid more.

If my DH heard any of this petty nonsense from either family or a couple with us, that would be the last time they came with us or we shared anything.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

Vacations with sister we split number of people- never an issue

Restaurant bills- prefer individual if they allow. We were out with large group years agi6- only one bill split evenly. Issue several couples ordered expensive wine and there were a few non-wine drinking couples who ended up paying quite a bit more.

In this babysitter case- agree 2/3 and 1/3. Hopefully this not in front of babysitter. Yes we goodwill the 1/3 should give some extra to sitter.