How much should each family pay the baby sitter?

[jiminyC_fan]

Regarding the babysitting, I find the argument totally stupid and childish. It's not like a big sum of money or something. I would do 50/50 but I can see the other way, also. I don't see it as a clear right or wrong way. If it didn't end the way I thought it should then I just wouldn't share again.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I wonder if this is generational, because I have never once been in a situation where it was expected that a check be split evenly if the amount wasn't close to an even split. And I don't think I know anyone who would find that acceptable, either!

I think it also may be somewhat regional. I've seen this discussion come up before and people from different parts of the country have said that many restaurants around them don't allow separate checks and that the diners have to figure up each person's portion themselves. Then, when diners have to actually calculate out what they owe, I can see where someone might say "lets just split it in half" to make it easier. Where I live (in KY), servers always ask about checks and don't hesitate to do separate checks when requested.

 

[skyblue17]

I think it also may be somewhat regional. I've seen this discussion come up before and people from different parts of the country have said that many restaurants around them don't allow separate checks and that the diners have to figure up each person's portion themselves. Then, when diners have to actually calculate out what they owe, I can see where someone might say "lets just split it in half" to make it easier. Where I live (in KY), servers always ask about checks and don't hesitate to do separate checks when requested.

Possible! I live in NYC and we don't often ask, but if it's offered, we sometimes say yes. When I visited Oklahoma last year, we were given separate checks. My friend and I actually split a meal... and they split the cost of the meal onto our two separate checks!

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

That's exactly what it is - but it wasn't one of the options you presented (e.g. either one person picks up the check or everyone does separate checks).

That's because I said what I do when going out with others. The conversation about restaurants started with something about splitting the check evenly regardless of what people ordered and led to discussion of alternatives, hence no reason for me to bring up your option, since a) it had already been brought up and was what we were discussing alternatives for, and b) I was listing only what I would do.

I feel completely the opposite. I find babies much easier to watch than older kids.

I think it depends on the baby/toddler/kid. Most sitters though, and the vast majority of daycares do charge extra for infants and toddlers than for older kids. With little ones, you have diapers and they need assistance eating or you deal with bottles, and you generally have to keep a closer eye on them. An 8 yr old can generally be trusted not to get hurt/do something dangerous while you use the restroom; a toddler, not so much.

Granted, I am not the most social person in the world, but when we go out with others, we generally go out with people that have similar dining tastes and habits. For example, we really don't go out with people who don't drink and in the long run the different in food costs in generally minimal. We would order an appetizer or two and all share, etc.

I have never been at a meal where someone has a martini, an appetizer, prime rib entree, dessert and wine with dinner and the other person orders a side salad with tap water.

***I am discussing social settings here.

Just last week, my best friend and I went to a hibachi restaurant. He ordered the combo dinner with lobster, steak, chicken, and shrimp, plus 2 glasses of wine and a soda. His bill was around $70. I had the vegetarian dinner and water for $15. That's far too large of a price difference to make splitting the check evenly a reasonable suggestion.

So, you don't go with them anymore. OR you go to a place with counter service. LOL

Or you just get separate checks and pay for what you actually ordered. I wouldn't not go out with someone anymore because they order more expensive food than I do. I'd just tell the server before we ordered that we'd like the checks split.

 

[Toolulu22]

So let's make it extreme... lets say you have a family of 10 using 5 bedrooms and a family of 2 using 1 bedroom (in a 6 bedroom house). Both families should pay the same? Use the same number of kids... should the family with 1 kid pay the same as the family with 10 kids (just an example)?

Should we break out the restaurant question where two couples go to dinner, one has appetizer, drink, steaks, and desert, and the other couple has soup, salad, and water? I'm guessing those couples should split the check evenly too.

My husband and I, and our friends who we eat out with regularly have solved the second part of this- we ask for separate checks when we go out. While it may seem as though it could be awkward, we once we started doing this, it became a usual thing. It takes pressure off each couple when they want to order appetizers, alcoholic drinks, desserts, or when one person has a burger and someone else has a filet mignon.

 

[Toolulu22]

Here's another way of looking at this...

What if Family 2 (with one child) is the one who arranged this? So that child is actually child 1. So do you look at it that child 1 pays $12, child 2 pays $0, and child 3 pays $5? So the family with 1 kid pays $12, and the family with 2 kids pays $3.

OR

Family 1 & 2 split the cost of 2 children (so $6 each), then Family 1 pays the cost of the third child ($3).

LSAT flashbacks.

 

[msjprincess]

We share vacation houses with other couples often. The costs all get split evenly between couples no matter how many kids. The adults get the master bedrooms with King or Queen beds. The kids all pile in rooms with bunks and twin beds. I did have someone tell me if she went her son would need one of the king/queen master bedrooms. In that case I told her she would have to pay more.

We also split dinner bills evenly. Sometimes we come out ahead and sometimes not. It all evens out eventually. I'm not sure if it's generational or regional. I'm in my 50s and live in the NYC area.

As for the OP I would probably split it 10/5.

 

[sam_gordon]

We share vacation houses with other couples often. The costs all get split evenly between couples no matter how many kids. The adults get the master bedrooms with King or Queen beds. The kids all pile in rooms with bunks and twin beds. I did have someone tell me if she went her son would need one of the king/queen master bedrooms. In that case I told her she would have to pay more.

We also split dinner bills evenly. Sometimes we come out ahead and sometimes not. It all evens out eventually. I'm not sure if it's generational or regional. I'm in my 50s and live in the NYC area.

As for the OP I would probably split it 10/5.

Obviously what works for the people involved is great. I do find it interesting that you would split the babysitting 66%/33%, but the vacation home and dinner bills are 50/50. Not criticizing, just find it interesting.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm totally for the 2/3 thing. I'm also for 50/50 but I 'feel' 2/3 is more adequate.

I also think it's ridiculous this wasn't hashed out ahead of time. I can only think of maybe both couples thought in the end it would be fair but neither were using the same definition of fair.

Hopefully the couples think twice before sharing services.

 

[EveDallas]

$15 divided by 3 kids = $5 per kid
Family of 2 pays $10
Family of 1 pays $5

They both saved money and both pay their fair share.

And in the future they do not share services.

This is how I would do it. 50-50 doesn't seem right because couple 1 has two of the three kids.

ETA: $15 per hour for three kids is crazy cheap. I charge $15 for the first kid and an extra $5 for each additional kid.

 

[msjprincess]

Obviously what works for the people involved is great. I do find it interesting that you would split the babysitting 66%/33%, but the vacation home and dinner bills are 50/50. Not criticizing, just find it interesting.

Because in the case of dinner it ends up evening out over time. With the rental house the kids are all sharing the bunk rooms so they're not costing anymore money or taking up more space. With a babysitter she's taking care of 2 kids as opposed to one. The people with 2 kids are using more resources.

 

[disneychrista]

$15 divided by 3 kids = $5 per kid
Family of 2 pays $10
Family of 1 pays $5.

This is the way I would have done it.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I wonder if this is generational, because I have never once been in a situation where it was expected that a check be split evenly if the amount wasn't close to an even split. And I don't think I know anyone who would find that acceptable, either!

If I had a $10 salad and somebody had a bottle of wine, steak and lobster, and a desert, we wouldn't be splitting that bill

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

This.

I've thought about something similar... let's say two families are renting a villa. Family 1 is a couple and three kids. Family 2 is just a couple. That shouldn't be 50/50. So to me, you split the cost by total number of people, then each family pays for the appropriate number of people. So if the rental is $700 (for example), family 1 pays $500 and family 2 pays $200. Seems simple to me.

This is how I break out costs, especially if my group has more. I think it's the fairest. I also agree with divide by three, pay by the number of kids. (So, to answer the question, my opinion is that they were both wrong - not 50/50, and not just the $3 for the third child.)

 

[mummabear]

This is how I would do it. 50-50 doesn't seem right because couple 1 has two of the three kids.

ETA: $15 per hour for three kids is crazy cheap. I charge $15 for the first kid and an extra $5 for each additional kid.

Yeah but, it's really no different to babysit an 8 and a 10 year old as it is to just do the 8 year old. The cost was set whether it was 1 or 2 kids. If they had both got a babysitter it would have cost them each $12, regardless of one couple having 2 and the other only having 1.

 

[sam_gordon]

If they had both got a babysitter it would have cost them each $12, regardless of one couple having 2 and the other only having 1.

Actually you can't say this, because you don't know what another babysitter would charge. It's possible the other babysitter would have been a neighbor or family and wouldn't have charged anything, or very little. And again, which child is #1 ($12), which is #2 ($0), and which is #3 ($3)?

 

[smiths02]

This is how I would do it. 50-50 doesn't seem right because couple 1 has two of the three kids.

ETA: $15 per hour for three kids is crazy cheap. I charge $15 for the first kid and an extra $5 for each additional kid.

I am generally a $10/$5 person, but I can see 50-50 being fair since the babysitting was done in the house with the 2 kid family. The babysitter and 1 kid probably used food, water, electricity, etc. that the 2 kid family paid for.

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

Granted, I am not the most social person in the world, but when we go out with others, we generally go out with people that have similar dining tastes and habits. For example, we really don't go out with people who don't drink and in the long run the different in food costs in generally minimal. We would order an appetizer or two and all share, etc.

I have never been at a meal where someone has a martini, an appetizer, prime rib entree, dessert and wine with dinner and the other person orders a side salad with tap water.

***I am discussing social settings here.

I usually find it’s alcohol that really tips the scales when dining out with others. I’m not a teetotaler, but I’m not a big drinker. I almost always drive myself and have an incredibly low tolerance so I’m just not comfortable having more than one low alcoholic beverage and driving. Most of the time I’m not even in the mood to drink. Many of my friends, however, will have a pre-dinner cocktail and a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. This can add $50+ to the tab. For a one of dinner I’m not going to quibble, but regularly this really adds up.

 

[mjkacmom]

We share vacation houses with other couples often. The costs all get split evenly between couples no matter how many kids. The adults get the master bedrooms with King or Queen beds. The kids all pile in rooms with bunks and twin beds. I did have someone tell me if she went her son would need one of the king/queen master bedrooms. In that case I told her she would have to pay more.

We also split dinner bills evenly. Sometimes we come out ahead and sometimes not. It all evens out eventually. I'm not sure if it's generational or regional. I'm in my 50s and live in the NYC area.

As for the OP I would probably split it 10/5.

I was a waitress for a few years in college (in secaucus right outside NYC) and was never asked to split the check. We don’t ask the server to split the check, and servers don’t ask. However, I’ve traveled out of this area with other families, and have had it done, and it’s pretty awesome, you can order anything without feeling guilty. I assume restaurants here would be accommodating, but no one would think to ask. I just make sure I have a variety of bills when I go out with others.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Granted, I am not the most social person in the world, but when we go out with others, we generally go out with people that have similar dining tastes and habits. For example, we really don't go out with people who don't drink and in the long run the different in food costs in generally minimal. We would order an appetizer or two and all share, etc.

I have never been at a meal where someone has a martini, an appetizer, prime rib entree, dessert and wine with dinner and the other person orders a side salad with tap water.

***I am discussing social settings here.

I frequently am out with people who don't share my same eating habits.

Be it my in-laws, my best friends, husband's coworkers, etc. Probably the person that it comes closest to is my mom but even then she'll get a few beers (bud light though lol) when I'm not interested and even though the beers don't normally add up to too too much sometimes they can depending on where we go.

My husband and I don't really do apps (unless that's our whole meal), desserts are usually special affairs, normally it's one or two beers when we get one (unless on an uber special) and our entree is not normally all that much.

But I will fully admit we have not been out to eat with other people and the expectation is set to split 50/50. Every single time we're out and about with people either we or they ask to split checks. That is our normal not the expectation that we split 50/50.