How do I offer support to a family with out offending then

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Someone I used to volunteer with just lost her dh to cancer she has two young boys as well and I am thinking she has all these bills coming up and I am thinking instead of a birthday gift for my self why don't I ask my parents to donate to them but the roadblock I come across is how to give to them

 

[Magpie]

Talk to her. Take her out to lunch, or drop by, and find out how she's doing. Ideally, this will give you a good sense of what she needs, and/or will appreciate.

If, after talking to her, you think she might be amenable, then tell her you'd like to do something for the boys. Parents will often accept charity for their children, that they won't accept on their own behalf.

If you don't think she'll be open to this, then try to think of something she can do for you. And then pay her generously. A third option is give her money in the form of a loan, and then "forgive" the loan in lieu of a birthday or Christmas present.

I've done all of these things, when my friends were in need.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Thank you

ETA I am no longer close to her do you graphically is there a way I can send her a private FB message then send the money though PayPal if she accepts

 

[clutter]

Or buy a useful gift card - Target, grocery store, Walmart. I'm more of the anonymous type so I'd leave it in an envelope but not sign it.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Or buy a useful gift card - Target, grocery store, Walmart. I'm more of the anonymous type so I'd leave it in an envelope but not sign it.

I love that idea and I have the perfect way to do it

 

[earfulofmagic]

Or buy a useful gift card - Target, grocery store, Walmart. I'm more of the anonymous type so I'd leave it in an envelope but not sign it.

This. You can usually buy the giftcards online (I've done it for Publix and Walmart), choose the design for the gift card and a message/name to leave (you can just use fake names to remain anonymous) and have it mailed straight to them.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Sometimes the best gift is just to call her and let her know you care listen to her let her scream cry vent. Just be there for her.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Sometimes the best gift is just to call her and let her know you care listen to her let her scream cry vent. Just be there for her.

Unfortunately I think that might be best in my case just got a text from my mom and it looks like she and my dad are splitting the cost for the Apple TV that I requested before I knew about my friends dh passing

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

You have a good heart, tinkerbellandeeyor. I bet she really appreciates your friendship.

 

[amberpi]

You are a very sweet and caring friend. This post just made me smile. Have a great day!

 

[Pumbaa_]

There may be a gofundme site set up

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

There may be a gofundme site set up

I just looked there is not one

 

[Nancyg56]

Tink- the nicest thing you can do for anyone who is in a challenging situation is to not ignore or avoid them. If you can help financially with a gift card or something for the kids, that is nice, but simply being available by phone or text to listen is more valuable in my opinion.

In our town a young single mother was going to be undergoing a very intensive surgery and would be isolated once she returned home to avoid as much risk from infection as possible. One of our residents who knew her set up a meal train for her, and since she was coming home just prior to Christmas, this was good news for her. I was close enough to be able to participate in the meal train, but even though I had never met her, I sent her a quick PM on Face book. Turns out she was pretty lonely on that chair alone in the house and we started just chatting. I was gifted with a new friend that day, and have treasured her friendship ever since.

You are on a limited income, and logistically setting up others to participate in assistance may not be your way to support your friend. But you can be her shoulder, and if you find she needs specific help, maybe you can offer suggestions to her. But basically, just be your kind self.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

In your situation, I might send a gift card to an inexpensive restaurant you know she enjoys and say how you wish you were physically there so you could be on the other side of the table at that restaurant, but you want them to go anyway. You're gifting a meal and a little break from stress. It's not always about the amount, sometimes it's just knowing other people have your back in real ways and are thinking about you.