Homeschooled child concern

Perhaps because it doesn't sound very disciplined - Although the student is still young, having discipline is a good trait. How many hours are being devoted to studying? Getting up at 11, showering, getting dressed, eating, then settling into studying? For how long? An hour or two? Up all night on the computer, doing what? Parental controls are iffy, at the best. My 12 year old niece got around ours on her second day of visiting us, and English is her second language. She figured it out in a matter of days in a second language...

And those same questions can be asked of any home school student who wakes up at 7AM.
So because sometimes the girl sleeps till 11 it is BS homeschooling?
The only thing that is BS is people making assumptions about it all based on the fact that they aren't schooling during traditional hours.
What WORKS for that family is all that matters.
 
As a mom of four kids who are not home schooled (bless the government for teaching my kids so I don't have to!) I can relate to the OP being concerned or not accepting of her niece's new school routine. I don't think kids should be up all night on their devices or internet. I think letting kids sleep in till 11 every day is lazy. I would also wonder if she is getting enough socialization being in her situation (yes I am aware lots of home schooled kids get this advantage through their various associations or schooling groups). It isn't something that everyone can wrap their heads around, whether it's their business or not. My sister home schooled her two youngest children. They were both being bullied at school. It's not for me, and I am not sure it was the best choice for those kids but my sister and her husband definitely don't care what my opinion is so I would never tell them. I can see why the OP is concerned, she doesn't need to be beat up over her thoughts on the situation.
 
I would love homeschooling for my kids for the flexibility of schedules. All 3 of my children have different time clocks and different learning strategies. That IMO is the beauty of homeschooling something that public or traditional schools can not always accommodate.
 
Education is not just about learning to read, its about developing skills you will use in the future. Our DD had the same social issues and switched schools in high school to a killer private school. What she got is amazing organizational and discipline skills, and skilled in dealing with difficult superiors.
 


Perhaps because it doesn't sound very disciplined - Although the student is still young, having discipline is a good trait. How many hours are being devoted to studying? Getting up at 11, showering, getting dressed, eating, then settling into studying? For how long? An hour or two? Up all night on the computer, doing what? Parental controls are iffy, at the best. My 12 year old niece got around ours on her second day of visiting us, and English is her second language. She figured it out in a matter of days in a second language...



Straight A's from who? The parent?
But all of that is the business of the parents. Not the OP.
 
As a mom of four kids who are not home schooled (bless the government for teaching my kids so I don't have to!) I can relate to the OP being concerned or not accepting of her niece's new school routine. I don't think kids should be up all night on their devices or internet. I think letting kids sleep in till 11 every day is lazy. I would also wonder if she is getting enough socialization being in her situation (yes I am aware lots of home schooled kids get this advantage through their various associations or schooling groups). It isn't something that everyone can wrap their heads around, whether it's their business or not. My sister home schooled her two youngest children. They were both being bullied at school. It's not for me, and I am not sure it was the best choice for those kids but my sister and her husband definitely don't care what my opinion is so I would never tell them. I can see why the OP is concerned, she doesn't need to be beat up over her thoughts on the situation.
I think that one of the best things about homeschooling is that not everyone gets a say in the child's education. Those decisions fall to the parents. And that is exactly who should be making those decisions.

Study after study has shown that teens do better when they are allowed to sleep in, and stay up late. The public school system hasn't changed to allow for that. But those that homeschool, certainly can. And we did. When our son needed to sleep in, he could. When his cycle allowed him to wake early, we did that. He was able to learn HIS way.
 
I am a Public School teacher and Counselor! And my kids currently go to PS, so let me just start with that, BUT.....

We homeschooled for 10 years. I certainly didn't need a busy body in my business telling me when my kids should get up or how late they should stay up, etc.....the child has As! My guess is that she is doing something right.

We stopped HSing 2 years ago. My oldest is at community college getting exceptional grades. He just got accepted to the college of his choice and yesterday we got his first scholarship award and we are told to expect two more very soon. My second son is a senior in high school. He is getting very good grades and doing just fine. My youngest is in 8th grade and getting very good grades as well.

Really, what the heck does it matter if she gets up at 7am or 11am? Did you know there are many jobs out there that require late nights? Nurses, ER Doctors, etc.....

Facebook.....pfffftttt.....if you had said porn, I would have been concerned, but FB? NAH.
 


Perhaps because it doesn't sound very disciplined - Although the student is still young, having discipline is a good trait. How many hours are being devoted to studying? Getting up at 11, showering, getting dressed, eating, then settling into studying? For how long? An hour or two? Up all night on the computer, doing what? Parental controls are iffy, at the best. My 12 year old niece got around ours on her second day of visiting us, and English is her second language. She figured it out in a matter of days in a second language...



Straight A's from who? The parent?

No homeschool is not unmonitored. My DGD has weekly online meetings with teachers. Her lessons are assigned and she has deadlines to meet. Her grades are done by teacher monitoring not her parents.
 
No homeschool is not unmonitored. My DGD has weekly online meetings with teachers. Her lessons are assigned and she has deadlines to meet. Her grades are done by teacher monitoring not her parents.
That is not the case in every homeschooling situation.

I'm not knocking homeschooling - I teach public school and think it can be a great thing for some. In this case, who knows what's actually happening. It doesn't even really matter. OP should just stay out of it altogether!
 
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None of my concern, sorry.
Someone very close to me has been home-schooling her 12 year old daughter this year after an issue with bullies last year. It seems like she lets her wake up whenever she wants (sometimes as late as 11:00am!) on school days because, well, she doesn't have to get up for school. She's homeschooled! And she also lets her go on Facebook in the middle of the night. I just don't get it. She has the Facebook parental controls set right, but I always felt like Facebook should not be allowed for someone that age, and if it is allowed, to only be allowed in moderation and very limited use.

When I try and offer my opinion, the response is "she's getting straight A's, and is reading at a ninth grade level, yada yada".

Would this be concerning to anyone else?
That's not the way I would homeschool my child, but different parents have different styles. You've given them your perspective and advice and it was rejected. Now is the time for you to bow out of the issue and respect their choices.
 
I am a Public School teacher and Counselor! And my kids currently go to PS, so let me just start with that, BUT.....

We homeschooled for 10 years. I certainly didn't need a busy body in my business telling me when my kids should get up or how late they should stay up, etc.....the child has As! My guess is that she is doing something right.

We stopped HSing 2 years ago. My oldest is at community college getting exceptional grades. He just got accepted to the college of his choice and yesterday we got his first scholarship award and we are told to expect two more very soon. My second son is a senior in high school. He is getting very good grades and doing just fine. My youngest is in 8th grade and getting very good grades as well.

Really, what the heck does it matter if she gets up at 7am or 11am? Did you know there are many jobs out there that require late nights? Nurses, ER Doctors, etc.....

Facebook.....pfffftttt.....if you had said porn, I would have been concerned, but FB? NAH.

Don't underestimate the power of the internet predator- they create fake accounts, steal pictures and befriend children (and adults) all the time (this happened to someone very close to me)... I would be concerned that a 12 year old is up late at night on the computer, unless her parents are also awake and monitoring the child's internet usage. BUT... the OP really can't do anything about this, not her child- not her rules.
 
Sleeping in to me is no big deal. Some people aren't morning people. My son woke up at 6 am every single day until he was 8 years old. After that he would sleep in until maybe 8 am??? Once he became a teen and started sleeping into the afternoon I didn't care. I paid my dues for YEARS. I don't wake sleeping children.

Not having any friends would concern me but I wouldn't say a word because it's none of my business. If I knew my niece had no friends I would try to be there. Take her to the movies, have lunch with her, etc.

Facebook at night wouldn't bother me either. The same crap they can do during the day they can do at night. And how do you know her mom isn't monitoring it l??
 
Because she's my niece, and I'm concerned because she doesn't have any friends and is staying up all night on the computer. That wouldn't concern you at all?

Yes, it would concern me.

She's part of your "family" and family s/b concerned for each other.

But unless there are reg flags such as depression, lack of interest in her school subjects, weight loss, headaches, then it appears right now, things are going well!!
 
Perhaps because it doesn't sound very disciplined - Although the student is still young, having discipline is a good trait. How many hours are being devoted to studying? Getting up at 11, showering, getting dressed, eating, then settling into studying? For how long? An hour or two? Up all night on the computer, doing what? Parental controls are iffy, at the best. My 12 year old niece got around ours on her second day of visiting us, and English is her second language. She figured it out in a matter of days in a second language...

Having a different schedule isn't inherently undisciplined. Someone who works second shift is not necessarily more or less disciplined than someone who works first, and I doubt anyone would argue that a college kid is less disciplined if s/he takes evening classes instead of attending during the day. You're looking at one thing - the wake-up time - and filling in the whole rest of the day in a very unflattering light, assuming that they're not devoting adequate time to school, not supervising the kid's internet use, etc.
 
And she also lets her go on Facebook in the middle of the night. I just don't get it. She has the Facebook parental controls set right, but I always felt like Facebook should not be allowed for someone that age, and if it is allowed, to only be allowed in moderation and very limited use.
This part would concern me, especially if she's been bullied in school. The internet is not a safe place for kids and teens, and Facebook (or similar) can easily become a new conduit for bullying. It's also a place where predators seek out venerable kids (and your niece sounds like such a kid). When my kids were that age, I didn't allow them online without supervision -- and that's harder now with the advent of phones and tables.

The sleeping away half the day would also concern me in that she needs to be with people -- and if her parents are keeping what we consider "normal hours", she's absent for a fairly large portion of the family's day. This means she's missing out on conversations, missing meals with family, missing engaging in family life and shared chores. She's already been a bully-magnet; allowing her to isolate herself may make her feel comfortable today ... but it isn't going to help her self-esteem or help her mature and move forward to the point that she can manage difficult social situations. If she were my child, I'd compromise: I'd insist that schoolwork /family life is started by 10:00 four days a week ... and let her sleep in the other three days.

Yeah, we all know about the teen-biology sleeping-in thing, but sleeping 'til noon every day is somewhat extreme; in fact, it can be a way of "hiding away" from the world and can be a sign of depression.

When I try and offer my opinion, the response is "she's getting straight A's, and is reading at a ninth grade level, yada yada".
Eh, what middle schoolers aren't getting straight As? Straight As are also common amongst homeschoolers. The only fact I'm seeing here is that she's reading at a 9th grade level; I'd be interested to hear how that number was measured.

As far as the social stuff, yes I do think it's important to provide social activities to homeschoolers. ARe you sure she doesn't at all? Maybe it's the child's choice and will work into socializing more as she feels comfortable?
None of us know how severe the bullying was and how comfortable /uncomfortable the niece is at this point. I agree that she needs to be involved in social activities (and the internet isn't really "social"). Perhaps a loving aunt would give her a gentle push and support her education by making her next birthday gift a class at a science museum or the zoo. Social activity + education.

Some cases of home schooling aren't schooling at all ...Most homeschooled children do very well ...
I think we all know that homeschooling varies widely: some families are providing an education well beyond the scope of public school, while others are really just escaping public school. None of us
No homeschool is not unmonitored. My DGD has weekly online meetings with teachers. Her lessons are assigned and she has deadlines to meet. Her grades are done by teacher monitoring not her parents.
This simply isn't true. Rules vary from state to state, but ultimately if parents aren't doing a good job, nothing happens. Conscientious parents pay attention to what should be taught and are sure that all the subjects are covered eventually -- but parents who lack conscientiousness really face no consequences.
 
I can see why the OP is concerned, she doesn't need to be beat up over her thoughts on the situation.
I don't think most people are "beating up" (and I don't think they're doing that) the OP over her thoughts/concerns, but more so that she think she should share her thoughts/concerns with the parents. Nothing good can come from this kind of unsolicited "advice".
 
I think that one of the best things about homeschooling is that not everyone gets a say in the child's education. Those decisions fall to the parents. And that is exactly who should be making those decisions.

Study after study has shown that teens do better when they are allowed to sleep in, and stay up late. The public school system hasn't changed to allow for that. But those that homeschool, certainly can. And we did. When our son needed to sleep in, he could. When his cycle allowed him to wake early, we did that. He was able to learn HIS way.
I think the best thing about homeschooling is you can teach your kids how to think...unlike the public schools which teach them what to think.
 
This is my first thought as well. I too am curious as to how the parent is assigning grades (all As, too!).

To each his own.
The parent is the teacher...so yes that is who assigns the grades. Most parents that commit themselves to homeschooling their kids take it very seriously. I don't know any parent that wants to support their kid after the age of 22. The goal is to get them into college and successfully launched.
 
The sleeping away half the day would also concern me in that she needs to be with people -- and if her parents are keeping what we consider "normal hours", she's absent for a fairly large portion of the family's day. This means she's missing out on conversations, missing meals with family, missing engaging in family life and shared chores. She's already been a bully-magnet; allowing her to isolate herself may make her feel comfortable today ... but it isn't going to help her self-esteem or help her mature and move forward to the point that she can manage difficult social situations. If she were my child, I'd compromise: I'd insist that schoolwork /family life is started by 10:00 four days a week ... and let her sleep in the other three days.

Yeah, we all know about the teen-biology sleeping-in thing, but sleeping 'til noon every day is somewhat extreme; in fact, it can be a way of "hiding away" from the world and can be a sign of depression..

This is the part that really confuses me- how do you make the assumption that she is missing meals and a large portion of family life if she’s sleeping an extra 3 hours to 11 am? My son misses all the “family life” that occurs in our house between 8:30 pm and midnight because he has to be in bed for an early school day. On weekends and in the summer he sleeps until 10:30/11 and then gets to stay up until midnight with us. He’s getting the same amount of social and family interaction under both scenarios.

It’s such a stretch to me to assume every family is up at the crack of dawn and in bed with the crickets.
 
This is the part that really confuses me- how do you make the assumption that she is missing meals and a large portion of family life if she’s sleeping an extra 3 hours to 11 am? My son misses all the “family life” that occurs in our house between 8:30 pm and midnight because he has to be in bed for an early school day. On weekends and in the summer he sleeps until 10:30/11 and then gets to stay up until midnight with us. He’s getting the same amount of social and family interaction under both scenarios.

It’s such a stretch to me to assume every family is up at the crack of dawn and in bed with the crickets.
Exactly. Our house is pretty quiet during the day. Most of the time, I am the only one home. And I am either, cleaning, having fun in some way or out running around town.

When we were homeschooling, I would get things down before our son got up. Clothes got washed, I started lunch/dinner, I had quiet time with a cup of tea and a book, or I prepared lesson plans. And of course his Dad was at work.

At night, the house would be alive with action. We might go for a walk, play games or have what we called a "read in." And of course our son would work on school throughout the day.
 

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