Someone very close to me has been home-schooling her 12 year old daughter this year after an issue with bullies last year. It seems like she lets her wake up whenever she wants (sometimes as late as 11:00am!) on school days because, well, she doesn't have to get up for school. She's homeschooled! And she also lets her go on Facebook in the middle of the night. I just don't get it. She has the Facebook parental controls set right, but I always felt like Facebook should not be allowed for someone that age, and if it is allowed, to only be allowed in moderation and very limited use.
When I try and offer my opinion, the response is "she's getting straight A's, and is reading at a ninth grade level, yada yada".
Would this be concerning to anyone else?
No, this would not be of any concern to me - even the late night computer usage because, as you said, she has parental controls set.
I know a girl who goes to traditional school & who has been on Facebook long into the middle of the night.
Have you ever done any kind of research on homeschooling? Have you ever done any research on sleep cycles & sleep in pre-teens/teens?
Do you realize that this family's schedule & values/standards for their family might be different than yours & that that's okay?
DH has a really weird work schedule which is one of the reasons we homeschool. If he has an off-day in the middle of the week, we might actually do school on Saturday instead.
Is how other people are raising their children really any of your business?
I would surmise that if you or I or any of the DISers started discussing all the different ways we parent, we'd soon be criticizing all the different ways we parent.
Stay-at-home or Working-away-from-Home?
Breast or Bottle?
How long did our children stay in rear-facing carseats? How long did they stay in a carseat? When they went to a booster, was it a high-back booster? How long did they stay in a booster seat?
Do we feed our children all organic, non-GMO foods? Do our children drink soft drinks?
Did we cut our children's grapes & hot dogs when they were little so they wouldn't choke?
Do we let our children play outside by themselves? Walk to the park by themselves? Walk to school?
Do we let our younger children watch R-rated movies?
Do we have parental controls on our children's phones?
Private school or public school or homeschool?
Too many extracurricular activities? Not enough extracurricular activities?
And the list could go on & on.... We could judge for days.
But wouldn't it be nicer if we extended fellow parents a little grace & kindness?
And isn't it nice to know we all don't have to fit into the same square box, & we don't have to fit our children into the same square box either?
Aw... your daughter sounds like me at that age.
If it's any help at all, the only thing that helped was changing schools. Repeatedly. Each time I got a fresh start, and could try not to repeat the social mistakes of the past. This, plus maturity on my part, eventually led to me finding my first "real" friend in Grade Seven. And eventually, by high school, I even had a small circle of friends.
My daughter didn't have friends in middle school, either, but unlike me, no one was overtly cruel to her. They just ignored her and she ignored them, burying herself in books. She was very surprised, in eighth grade, to discover that people liked her, even if they didn't want to be friends with her. And in Grade 9, she found her first real friend, but unfortunately by Grade 11 she was back to being generally-liked-but-friendless again. Fortunately, circumstances change! She's been in university for four years now, worked in a biolab most of that time, and she actually has a social life (lunches with friends, occasional gaming) for the first time ever.
Not everyone has tons of friends. Not everyone needs tons of friends. And sometimes it just takes you longer to find your people.
Anyone remember this storybook? Ferdinand the Bull. His mother was wise, and when she saw that he didn't want to run and butt heads with all the other little bulls, she let him be alone.
Thank you for that! This is exactly my DD. She's well-liked & has a pleasant personality - she just has never been one to have bunches of friends & a huge social circle. She's an introvert & very content w/ her books & her writing.
The other night, she & I had a talk about some different things. While she's confident in who she is & likes who she is, every now & then I think she worries a bit that she *should* have more friends & be more social. It's always nice to be able to tell her about others who are similar.
