Extended Family Trip - Prepping Newbies

[jenPSU]

Hi everyone,
My in-laws are taking us to Disney in January. (AMAZING OF THEM!). It’s an extended family trip which includes:
2 seniors (grandparents)
2 families with 4 total kids between 4 and 8
1 additional grandmother (SIL’s mom)

My family has been to Disney several times, but the rest haven’t been in years. My BIL and SIL’s kids haven’t been yet. My MIL has said multiple times that she’s fine with me and my SIL just planning it and they’ll go along with whatever. And I am totally planning to do that! However, I think it would be helpful if everyone had some background to understand how everything works. Disney has so many ... “quirks.” Despite their assurances that they will go with whatever, that’s not actually their personality! Lol. I know from experience that they will question everything in the moment and potentially end up stressed out if I don’t educate them beforehand.

So, what are your favorite resources for learning the basics about a WDW vacation? Meal plans, fast passes, transportation, touring strategies? I recommended the Unofficial Guide book to my SIL but I am pretty sure my MIL and FIL aren’t going to read a book. Looking for maybe a website with a good overview. We are planning a “summit” soon to decide a lot of the details so we can book our package and dining res’s, so I was thinking I could assign “homework” for them so they know a little what they are talking about.

Thanks!

 

[KayaWildfire]

I might do this in small chunks. Begin by having them look at the available hotels at Disney and some restaurants, just on the Disney site. Maybe have them read up on the rides later, since you have a little time before booking fastpass and that may require another meeting. I feel like some of the websites have a lot of info and it can get overwhelming.

 

[sponica]

I'm doing the same thing for my trip in 2020. My mother basically said, "your sister and i are just going to do what you tell us to do, when you tell us to do it"

First and foremost, you need to make sure everyone's on the same page. Is this a big family trip to Disney or you're all going to Disney at the same time? Those are two different things.
Will you be touring as a big group, or breaking up into component groups? I STRONGLY recommend each component group has some time to themselves. Trust me. I went with just my in laws and it was TOO much being together ALL the time.

Your BIL and SIL might be looking for different things on a first trip than you are. My sister and BIL are bringing their kids for the first time, so my game plan is to let them do their own thing and experience their own things while we do the things we know we like.

I personally like allears as a web based guide.

Right now my drafts folder has emails with personalized resort information (we're all staying in different places), an email about the disney dining plan and whether or not its worth it, all about MDE, and fun things for adults to do. Obviously I should have been a disney travel planner....

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

Other than the Dis, I like Mousesavers.com a lot as well as allears. I tried to get my mom to check out some info websites about Disney, tried to get her to watch the DVD they mailed me (not sure if they still mail that out), and tried discussing various things about the parks with her, but she really wasn't receptive to any of it. She insisted she'd go along with whatever we planned and unfortunately, that did cause some issues during the trip. She couldn't understand why we were heading for a FP rather than looking in shops or going to an ADR now rather than waiting an hour until she was more hungry. Though she had been to Disney before, a lot of things had changed, and she didn't understand just how much had gone into the planning and how you couldn't just change a FP for FOP to later in the day or skip an ADR without penalty.

If I ever were to go on a trip with extended family again, I'd print out itineraries for each day of the trip that specified which park we were going to, the hours, scheduled FPs and times, any ADRs or quick service plans, etc. It's sometimes hard to have conversations with a large group as you're walking through the parks, and I found it became stressful for some of my group when they felt they had no idea what was going to happen next, even if I had told or tried to tell them. I'd also recommend typing up a list of basic info (even just copy and paste from other sites) about how FPs work, etc.

I'd also make it clear that they are welcome to go off and do something different any time they want, and maybe even try to plan times to separate so they can do different things. It can become stressful spending every waking second of a vacation with extended family, no matter how much you love them and enjoy their company.

I'm sure many extended families plan trips with part of the group just "going with the flow" of what everyone else planned, but for us, it just didn't work out like I thought it would. I'd think about the personalities of your extended family members as well as ask them what they might like to do. Are they more into shopping and sight seeing and not that interested in rides? They might appreciate (or need) more down time rather than going from ride to ride. Do their interests differ from your family unit's?

It's hard trying to plan a vacation for multiple people while keeping everyone happy and I wish you the best of luck.

 

[sponica]

@LongLiveRafiki I honestly think managing expectations is key to any trip, whether the group is 4 people or 14.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Hi everyone,
My in-laws are taking us to Disney in January. (AMAZING OF THEM!). It’s an extended family trip which includes:
2 seniors (grandparents)
2 families with 4 total kids between 4 and 8
1 additional grandmother (SIL’s mom)

My family has been to Disney several times, but the rest haven’t been in years. My BIL and SIL’s kids haven’t been yet. My MIL has said multiple times that she’s fine with me and my SIL just planning it and they’ll go along with whatever. And I am totally planning to do that! However, I think it would be helpful if everyone had some background to understand how everything works. Disney has so many ... “quirks.” Despite their assurances that they will go with whatever, that’s not actually their personality! Lol. I know from experience that they will question everything in the moment and potentially end up stressed out if I don’t educate them beforehand.

So, what are your favorite resources for learning the basics about a WDW vacation? Meal plans, fast passes, transportation, touring strategies? I recommended the Unofficial Guide book to my SIL but I am pretty sure my MIL and FIL aren’t going to read a book. Looking for maybe a website with a good overview. We are planning a “summit” soon to decide a lot of the details so we can book our package and dining res’s, so I was thinking I could assign “homework” for them so they know a little what they are talking about.

Thanks!

Besides mousesavers, you have touring plan's opening page to reinforce the need to plan in advance:

https://touringplans.com/walt-disney-world

as well as disney touring blog and a host of others that you can access by goggling " overview to plan a wdw trip" or similar.

Just want to say your question is very thoughtful of your party members personalities and needs they haven't even thought of yet. Bravo to you and enjoy your forthcoming vacation.

 

[MainMom]

I’ve done a group of 11 trip with my family 4 years ago. I am currently planning a trip for June with mostly the same group, but 12 this time. It is my extended family and we are all experienced WDW vets and tour/vacation the same way...except my new BIL. My sister calls him a “lazy vacationer.” He likes to sleep in, eat whenever, and decide what to do that day after he eats. That’s not how we do it at all. He’s already questioning why we need itineraries/FP/rope drop, etc. She explained why and then told him, you don’t have to get up and go, feel free to sleep in, but we are all going. He has never been to a Disney park. His theme park experience is 6 flags. I think if he goes one morning and he will understand when he’s not standing long lines, but maybe not.

So our basic group rules are 1. If someone wants to stay back from any part of touring or split off from the group we are good with that. No one is going to get mad. 2. If a bus comes and you’re not at the stop, we are not waiting for you, we will see you there. We don’t wait around for people to get ready.

As far as prepping newbies, I try to give as little information at a time as possible. I focus on what needs to be done first...hotel. After that is done...restaurants. It’s very, very overwhelming to new people.

I have typed up our daily basic itinerary in a phone notes app with ADR & FP times, park hours, what we hope to accomplish that day. I plan on sending it to everyone a couple of weeks before the trip. That way everyone has a copy and they can follow it (or not) as they please.

 

[QueenIsabella]

When I've done groups this large, we tend to agree on which parks on which days. If there are group meals involved, we plot those out early on, to coincide with the parks. Generally, we found it best not to plan beyond that. What worked for us was, me and BIL (the two who did the planning and could get along well) would go into a room with their family's preferences. He and I could hash out details, in a friendly manner, and each side would get most of what they wanted. My MIL's only request would be a meal at Coral Reef, so we made sure to fit that in.

Our family would be more "rope drop-afternoon break" types, while BIL's family would be more "sleep in-stay out late" types. Typically, the only meal we'd have together was dinner. We found this worked well--plenty of time to chat and catch up, hear about each other's day. We would see each other in the park, but not tour together--we also had a wider range of children's ages, which meant that group touring wasn't feasible.

The most important things for you to have are a laid-back attitude and a sense of humor. You guys can have a great vacation, so long as you don't let any one person take over--let the sleep-in crowd sleep in, let the rope-drop crowd head out early.

 

[tinkerjo]

I am our official family Disney planner. It helps that we are all Disney lovers and have been several times but we always like to take a newbie or 2 with us(even though it is usually a teen girlfriend of one of my DS) I can’t stress enough to let each family have their own time. We are rope drop people, my older brother is aN all day commando, younger brother- try to wake up early but never happen, get there at noon sorta guy, while my parents take it slow. I will schedule which park per day so we are all in the same park ( we all have different resort preferences and budgets so we usually don’t stay together) we will schedule a few ADRs like character meals or hoop dee do review. I also will schedule FP for those who want me to. Not every family tours the same so we found it better for each to do their own thing during the day and meet up for meals to share the day’s activities and pictures.
ETA- by the way, we have tried the “everyone go together to everything” and it was miserable. It moves slow, nobody could agree which ride was next, and there were the Tiggers if the group mad at the Eeyore’s of the group.

 

[MainMom]

I am our official family Disney planner. It helps that we are all Disney lovers and have been several times but we always like to take a newbie or 2 with us(even though it is usually a teen girlfriend of one of my DS) I can’t stress enough to let each family have their own time. We are rope drop people, my older brother is aN all day commando, younger brother- try to wake up early but never happen, get there at noon sorta guy, while my parents take it slow. I will schedule which park per day so we are all in the same park ( we all have different resort preferences and budgets so we usually don’t stay together) we will schedule a few ADRs like character meals or hoop dee do review. I also will schedule FP for those who want me to. Not every family tours the same so we found it better for each to do their own thing during the day and meet up for meals to share the day’s activities and pictures.
ETA- by the way, we have tried the “everyone go together to everything” and it was miserable. It moves slow, nobody could agree which ride was next, and there were the Tiggers if the group mad at the Eeyore’s of the group.

And my family is the opposite, but this is why it’s important to know/figure out each family dynamic ahead of time. Make sure to set up the rules/expectations in advance & that everyone is clear on them. That way Grandma can’t be mad that rope drop family isn’t waiting around for sleep in family because this was agreed upon by all.

 

[MNDisneyMommy]

We would discuss different things at different family gatherings. I tried passing around books I own or websites but no one did it anyway so we mostly just explained in little bits at a time. First, hotels. Then, dining. Then we went through rides (I asked for three "must do" and which they wouldn't do - needed to plan rider swaps!). I did up little "newsletters" at various stages of what everyone needed to be looking at/doing, but we mostly talked about it. Some expectations were set upfront - that our 4-person family was setting up our plans, and folks were welcome to join us, but if we were mid-plan and anyone wanted to detour they detoured on their own and missed something they could make up later once we split.

As we got closer, we did make it clear that we hoped everyone did the morning tour with us (come to that park, and fastpasses), and we hoped everyone did the table service lunch together, and then when we took our kids back for a nap they were free to do what they wanted - they could come rest too, or tour, or shop, or whatever. Sometimes we met up again at night (dinner table service, maybe an hour or two in a park) but sometimes we did not.

Since we had a touring plan, we also could say - Sure, Grandma, feel free to shop, meet up with us at the 10:15 fastpass for Big Thunder (or whatever). We did a lot of group texting to stay on the same page. I would do a lot of ad hoc explaining of the next attraction (Grandpa, this is a Frozen show in a theater, but you'll actually like it a bit I promise so go get your coffee and come join us).

Expectations upfront were key - groups went off on their own, it was no drama, and no one asked us to change our plan or anything so it was all good.

 

[mkla2015]

We've done WDW with extended family multiple times. I always start with an excel spreadsheet- plan what day to go to which park/parks first. From there we move to dining- to decide on dining we look at menus online and watch youtube reviews. Then we move to FP picks- if they have never been, you can show them ride videos, try to narrow down what most people want to ride and go from there. The biggest thing for us is that we all know its ok to separate- yes, we have a plan and an itinerary but if someone wants to go off and do something else, that's fine.

 

[Baduist]

Some tips:

- Plan for everybody. Research people’s preferences in food, attractions, rides.

- Discuss as a family, write down everyone’s must do’s.

- Managing expectations is key. Make sure the kids (which includes kids aged 20-90 as well) know the plan and know in advance what they are giving up and why (I.e “were not doing ____ because ____ isn’t tall enough to ride and we agreed we prefer being together”).

- Making decisions on the spot doesn’t work in a big group. Make the decisions in advance.

- If it’s a long trip, consider separate plans, even resorts, and a daily meetup of the whole group for dinner.

- Consider splitting up groups differently each day based on preferences / height etc

 

[Nancyg56]

@LongLiveRafiki I honestly think managing expectations is key to any trip, whether the group is 4 people or 14.

This is one of the first things to nail down, IMO. For some the extended family trip to WDW is a reunion and the parks are a backdrop. For others, they envision a whirlwind of parks all day every day. Some folks want to be together all day every day and for others, that woudl be the equivalent of death by ants.
Best to figure out what the family members, especially the grands who are footing the bill, really want from the vacation.

Some tips:

- Plan for everybody. Research people’s preferences in food, attractions, rides.

- Discuss as a family, write down everyone’s must do’s.

- Managing expectations is key. Make sure the kids (which includes kids aged 20-90 as well) know the plan and know in advance what they are giving up and why (I.e “were not doing ____ because ____ isn’t tall enough to ride and we agreed we prefer being together”).

- Making decisions on the spot doesn’t work in a big group. Make the decisions in advance.

- If it’s a long trip, consider separate plans, even resorts, and a daily meetup of the whole group for dinner.

- Consider splitting up groups differently each day based on preferences / height etc

My DD and I are the WDW family planners and we do this as well. We first share some WDW books. My DD uses Passporter so that is the one she generally buys for our Newbies. I outline our parks days and overall plans for meals and arrival times. Morning or afternoon.

WE also make sure that everyone knows they can take off. We will book meals for individual members fo the group if they want time away as a family unit. We eventually share attractions so people can make their 3 must do in each park. WE take care of booking FP< but we do want everyone to understand that any other attractions are bonus. I do not want to have any expectations that it is possible to do it all. It is not. In this case, for my crew, setting that expectation that they will do less but know they can do more works.

We also usually have one meal or sometimes two together. We generally all leave the resort together, but never stay all day with the entire group. Having a lunch in mind, or FP set up helps to drag the group back togethe if they want that.

For my family dinner is all together for the most part. I always send the memebers to allears for dining suggestions. Everyone gets to have a say by listing where they want to eat. We always ensure everyone gets to pick one.

Lately the disney blogs and vlogs are fun for our newbies and oldies as well.

I have also been informed by DD that in regards to sharing info, less is more. I tend to share too much at once, and that really is overwhelming for most people. A little at a time is best.

 

[jenPSU]

Thanks so much everyone! These are great ideas! I totally agree that we won’t be able to keep 11 people together all day every day. I floated the idea of starting the day in the same park, and going from there, and everyone seemed good with that. I also suggested more table service lunches than dinner, which I think MIL thought was odd, but I told her we’d all be way too tired to go out to dinner every night. I think she understood, maybe? Lol.
I did ask everyone to watch the Disney World planning videos on the website, so at least they know a little about the 4 parks, FP+, magic bands, etc. although I feel like the videos have my MIL the impression you can ride whatever you want whenever you want with FPs . They also state that Illuminations is a must see, so I had to explain that will be gone when we go. But, it was a good overview. She hadn’t even heard of Animal Kingdom before, so the basic overview was much-needed!

 

[MainMom]

Thanks so much everyone! These are great ideas! I totally agree that we won’t be able to keep 11 people together all day every day. I floated the idea of starting the day in the same park, and going from there, and everyone seemed good with that. I also suggested more table service lunches than dinner, which I think MIL thought was odd, but I told her we’d all be way too tired to go out to dinner every night. I think she understood, maybe? Lol.
I did ask everyone to watch the Disney World planning videos on the website, so at least they know a little about the 4 parks, FP+, magic bands, etc. although I feel like the videos have my MIL the impression you can ride whatever you want whenever you want with FPs . They also state that Illuminations is a must see, so I had to explain that will be gone when we go. But, it was a good overview. She hadn’t even heard of Animal Kingdom before, so the basic overview was much-needed!

We do lunch ADR’s for this exact reason! It just works out better and the majority attend because they are already there.

 

[jenPSU]

We do lunch ADR’s for this exact reason! It just works out better and the majority attend because they are already there.

The last few times we’ve gone, we have ended up canceling multiple dinner reservations because we just can’t imagine everyone sitting through a meal at that point! We mostly do rope drop or at least early starts, and even with an afternoon break we’re toast by the evening. Last trip out of 5 days we made it to a fireworks show once!

 

[Nancyg56]

My family is th eopposite of most here. WE start fairly early, last several hours and tend to go our separate ways. Some stay in the park, others head back tot the resort to swim or nap. We like the evening meal together over lunch. I think this is where advance planning is important becuase you will be able to get a hint of how your family will want to tour. DO they like long days and then a relaxing eveing, or a little of both?

PSA: Rainy weather can turn even the most die hard park person into a resort slug, with no one managing a late night even with a nap. Been there done that. LOL!

 

[monorailsilver]

I would start with basics with you and your SIL planning that and going over it with the 3 grandparents.

Aka-arrival day-sit at the pool, go to dinner and give options of places and let everyone pick, most votes wins-or let one set of grandparents pick.

Plan your park days, which parks what days, park hoping or not, how early you plan to get out and return, rest breaks and rest days, non park days.

This way of grandparents only want to go to the parks for 3 days vs 6 then they can.

Plan some emails together but at the same time let everyone fend for them selves.

 

[lostprincess_danie]

We are doing an extended family trip this year. Myself, DH, DD, 3 grandparents, 2 uncles and 1 aunt. Some of them are first-timers as well. I am the experienced Disney goer of the group and am in charge of plans. I echo what the others have said about managing expectations.

In order for my family to all communicate about our trip I set up a private facebook group for us. That way we can discuss everything together and everyone gets the same information at the same time. I've been giving out weekly "topics" for us to go over - like where to eat, ride suggestions, etc. as well as some general Disney tips and info like budgeting and explaining FP+.

I am making a detailed schedule for myself, DH and DD; anyone in our group who wants to come along is welcome. We plan to split the day - first half together and after lunch go our separate ways. Possibly meet back up for dinner but we don't have any ADRs just in case we decide to do something else at night.