Ecv riders I hate to get in your business

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I am a fairly recent ECV user (less than 6 months) except for once after an injury a decade ago. I personally would be grateful and say "thank you" if someone were to tell me that I didn't look disabled.

I see where you are coming from

 

[Disneygal27]

While I don't personally have a disability, both of my parents do, and they're often considered "too young" to be disabled. The only time my dad, who is in his power chair permanently, has had a problem with snarky or rude comments was with resort transport, especially the buses. People mutter occasionally about us "cutting the line" since wheelchairs get loaded first, and since my mom also has mobility issues (no devices for her yet, so it's not obvious) she takes a seat across from him before the bus opens to the line. People have rarely said something about them "taking up seats" and once a stroller person was resting against dads joystick since it was crowded. Usually I stand and make a little bubble around him if it's full, I don't like taking a seat from a kid or someone who was waiting in line before me since I am able to stand (I make mom sit since she would 99% fall if standing on a bus). Dad never lets things bother him, he's just happy to be able to get back to the parks again and he's unbelievably positive. I'm the one with a thin skin, I almost lost it once with someone making comments about the bus incident. Otherwise people pretty much ignore the fact he is in a chair (sometimes too much, little kids tend to cut in front and then stop suddenly. As do I when I get too excited....). I do find people are usually MORE considerate at Disney, moving out of the way in shops and restaurants, giving him space in elevators, holding doors, etc. and CMs sometimes give pixie dust of extra rides if someone isn't waiting for the wheelchair car. I don't mean to scare you, like I said it's only been a rare occurrence in our three trips with his chair. I just feel like that's one area when we've actually heard something said about the chair that hasn't been mentioned. Like you, I am FIERCELY protective of my family, they're my world. I just follow their lead and let things go and don't let that negativity get me riled anymore. Have a magical trip!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I've had someone comment on the fact that scooters are loaded first. In front of everyone else in line. I reminded them that scooters unload, last. So in reality, I'm the last person to my destination.

And I've had people try to climb over me. I guess I wasn't moving fast enough, in line, for them. It doesn't take much to stop someone from doing that.

And I've had people walk into me broadside. They just weren't watching where they were going. One person got kind of upset, but I let them know that if they had looked up they wouldn't have that problem.

Overall, I don't have a hard time at the parks. Cast members are awesome. They speak to me, rather than assuming that I am deaf and mute. Bus drivers are the same way. And most guests treat me with respect.

Comments, in general are few and far between.

 

[Jodyfarmgirl]

I would agree with you that people are kinder, more considerate and just plain nicer at what I think of as "Disney places."
If you look at my thread in this section, I tell a horrifyingly embarrassing story about me, my ECV on CC and the amazing other DCL passengers and the incredible CMs who helped me.
I know I am easily hurt, not too tough at all (that switch turned off when I retired and now I think it's broken) and I'm easily embarrassed. All it takes is one nasty comment and I'm a goner and I totally understand that it's my problem and no one else's.
Everyone (disabled or not) has challenges to deal with. I expect it all evens out.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Totally off topic but I get what you are saying about the friendliness of CMs and guests dh and I went to Disney springs on our last trip and I don't know what happened but the chair tipped over and the one that gathered around me thought I was going to pass out after witnessing what happened to dh

 

[Toffeewoffy]

No-one has ever said anything to me (whether they say something about me out of earshot I neither know or care). I often drive one-handed as the backs of my hands burn: perhaps they see me only using my right hand and just say nothing because of that. I don't know. When I get off the scooter is when you see my disability: my hips lock up if I'm immobile for any length of time, and I literally stagger/hobble for a few feet before my joints get moving again. I'm overweight, but not so much that someone could think 'that's the reason she's in a scooter'.

 

[mamabunny]

How do you put up with the comments? especially if you look healthy dh just looks obese when he where's pants they can't see the AFO, and when someone hurts him physically or mentally my first instinct is to tear them down .dh feels the same about me so point being I guess the best answer in this case is just to ignore them

Who cares what any other Guest at WDW thinks?

What do you think the chances are that you will ever again see ANY of those people? As folks around my neighborhood say "The chances are slim to none, and Slim just left town." In other words, you have a much better chance of winning the lottery than you do of running into someone you see at WDW.

It's none of their business. And just so you know - 99.9% of them won't pay any attention anyway. They are all too busy posting to Insta, SnapChatting, checking Facebook and tweeting to notice you, your DH or anything else. That's why - no kidding - you have to be extra vigilant driving a wheelchair or ECV at WDW; people are so self-absorbed that they will walk right into you because they aren't paying any attention.

Seriously - your DH on an ECV? He's a non-event at WDW. I promise you. There are, at any given time THOUSANDS of people on ECVs all over Disney World. I was terrified the first time I had to use an ECV at WDW. I just knew that people would point and laugh and I would be humiliated. Then a weird thing happened.

Nothing.

Me - a 3L (Large, Lovely Lady) on an ECV at WDW was a total non-event. No one treated me any differently. No one made any snarky remarks. Nothing.

Now my medical conditions have sadly advanced to the point where I have my own personal ECV. I get on that thing and RIDE. I smile and wave at everyone like the visiting Princess that I am, and I go on and have a BLAST at WDW. Every. Single. Time. And the very few times I have encountered stupidity in human form, I just smile even bigger, and give them a good 'ol Okie "Bless your heart" (and we all know what *that* means, don't we?) and I go on.

Things will be fine. I promise. Go and have an awesome trip!

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Who cares what any other Guest at WDW thinks?

What do you think the chances are that you will ever again see ANY of those people? As folks around my neighborhood say "The chances are slim to none, and Slim just left town." In other words, you have a much better chance of winning the lottery than you do of running into someone you see at WDW.

It's none of their business. And just so you know - 99.9% of them won't pay any attention anyway. They are all too busy posting to Insta, SnapChatting, checking Facebook and tweeting to notice you, your DH or anything else. That's why - no kidding - you have to be extra vigilant driving a wheelchair or ECV at WDW; people are so self-absorbed that they will walk right into you because they aren't paying any attention.

Seriously - your DH on an ECV? He's a non-event at WDW. I promise you. There are, at any given time THOUSANDS of people on ECVs all over Disney World. I was terrified the first time I had to use an ECV at WDW. I just knew that people would point and laugh and I would be humiliated. Then a weird thing happened.

Nothing.

Me - a 3L (Large, Lovely Lady) on an ECV at WDW was a total non-event. No one treated me any differently. No one made any snarky remarks. Nothing.

Now my medical conditions have sadly advanced to the point where I have my own personal ECV. I get on that thing and RIDE. I smile and wave at everyone like the visiting Princess that I am, and I go on and have a BLAST at WDW. Every. Single. Time. And the very few times I have encountered stupidity in human form, I just smile even bigger, and give them a good 'ol Okie "Bless your heart" (and we all know what *that* means, don't we?) and I go on.

Things will be fine. I promise. Go and have an awesome trip!

Good point

 

[cobright]

How do you put up with the comments? especially if you look healthy dh just looks obese when he where's pants they can't see the AFO, and when someone hurts him physically or mentally my first instinct is to tear them down .dh feels the same about me so point being I guess the best answer in this case is just to ignore them

I'm of two minds on this one. In the first, I'm sorry and angry that this is a real thing and I would like to say ignore those people. They don't deserve a response. And anything you do say will only serve to validate their feelings and embolden their reply. This is my Buddhist mind, and I try to listen to it.

The other way I consider this is purely practical and nothing I say should be taken as implying that any criticism like this is justified, or that it is in any way your responsibility to appear how other's think a disabled person should appear. And yet... I know of a person who, in just such situations, would wear a knee brace. Take that for what it is, unfortunate advice.

 

[cobright]

They don't deserve a response. And anything you do say will only serve to validate their feelings and embolden their reply. This is my Buddhist mind, and I try to listen to it.

Upon further reflection, I'm less sure that Buddha had the right of this. Tracing this problem back to its source brings the observation that our collective human culture is far too tolerant of rudeness. People (not everyone of course) feel safe, even entitled, to be mean and intentionally hurtful. Our media, even our politics (a subject I will not go further on at all), reflect this. Our laws protect rudeness (and it probably should) but our culture has evolved to a state where most of us are not dependant on the connections of society that, in earlier ages, would have served to correct this sort of behavior.

The honey bee does not sting to protect itself. It stings so that eventually everyone knows not to mess with honey bees. So the question I think is underlying in the OP's topic is, "How do I punish people who intentionally say hurtful things about my husband?" Right? If so, great question.

Like I alluded to before, the law protects rudeness. There is rarely any legal remedy available to someone who is insulted. And... that's probably for the best. Unless an insult rises to some level of criminal mischief the state has no interest in it. Unless it rises above a very high bar set for defamation, there is no action available in civil courts. What's left? A firmly worded retort? Round back upon them with a catty barb? A zinger? Make them look stupid in front of the crowd so that all present turn, point and laugh? I'm sorry, but that just doesn't work.

In this situation you are reacting, the other party has already initiated the conflict. That person has chosen the field and the weapon (time, place, words). This tells you something about the person. Not many people initiate an attack when they feel vulnerable, they attack from a position of strength. Meeting them on their own terms is always your first mistake. As the proverb says, "Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself."

Some will say that it's not your responsibility to correct this boor's behavior. Not your business. Even, not your place. And that's why people feel so comfortable being awful to each other. Punishing rudeness has become a greater taboo than the rudeness itself. Two hundred years ago, rudeness could be answered with a demand for satisfaction. Pistols at dawn, or the offensive curr gets posted. Being posted meant an account of ones rudeness and refusal to apologise or defend it in a duel is posted at prominent society clubs which cause that persons social and business contacts to him. It was a simpler time.

So, someone says, "Look at that <derisive reference to weight>, takes up two spaces in line 'cause he don't wanna walk." Followed, I'm sure, by, "Dur Hur hur!" All in a way intended for your ears and those of the people around you.

Some practical approaches:

1. If you just want to make yourself feel better and rob the offensive party of their victory one of my favorites is to act like you don't understand english but assume that whatever they say is a compliment.
   • Even better, pick a foreign language "thank you" that incorporates an insult.
   • Nice and loud, "Si! Si! Gracias, tu eres más feo que el culo de un mono! Gracias" Meaning, "Yes, Yes, Thank you, you're ugly as a monkey's butt. Thank you."
2. Disney Parks are generally safe, crowded, well observed places. I would feel comfortable closing the distance with the offensive brute. This takes them out of their comfort zone. It also allows you to talk in a lower volume if desired so that what you say will not be picked up by those around you.
   • Act as if you didn't hear them and ask them to repeat themselves. If they repeat what they say, continue 'not hearing them' and asking them to say it again. You have to behave as if you honestly didn't hear them and you just assumed they had given you some friendly advice that no one would be ashamed of at all. In most cases they will ignore you and walk off; again, deprived of a victory. I would love to use this near the end of a long line, where they are positively captured. Just keep it up, "I'm so sorry, these darn hearing aids, were you asking where you could get such an awesome ECV?"
   • Or... and this one is not for everyone ... you can ratchet it up a notch in a way they will not expect at all. Get close, then address them in a soft voice followed by a quiet threat of extreme violence. What are they going to do? Get out of line? Tell a CM? Just deny it.
   • People will remember them as the brutes and you ... no one would believe you said anything so horrible. Maybe say something horrible but have an innocent phrase ready that sounds like it. "Hey, yeah listen, I hope your meth lab explodes and you die in the fire." Then if they drag a CM over to you (or security) you say you did tell them to cool it, then went back to talking with your spouse about Tinkerbell sliding down that wire. "Why, what did they say I told them?"
3. Not for everyone, but I love an opportunity to provoke someone to put their hands on me. This is a game ender. Once they put their hands on you, the full force of law is now on your side. Threats and insults spoken low so no one else will hear you will often do it. The key is to affect body language that will appear submissive and non-threatening. Hands in pockets. Smile. You want a review of surveillance footage to show you as an innocent victim. If they say anything threatening, repeat it loudly as a question, "You're going to shove my cane down my throat?!" Then quietly assure them that they don't have the stones to even try it.
   • Whether they try to muscle you or if they go tattle on you to a CM, you have the perception of moral high-ground. "Once I realized he was saying such awful things, I just wanted him to calm down, he was scaring me. I told him this is the most magical place on Earth and he was behaving like he was in a Missouri Six Flags."

It's not pleasant business. I don't recommend any of it. But it is an alternative to meeting abuse with equanimity. If nothing else, contemplating such a course of action can be cathartic.

Good luck.

 

[Jodyfarmgirl]

Like it? I love it!

 

[Smittolis]

While it is sometimes easier said than done, the mantra of 'who cares what others think' is the way forward. Arguments are like tennis matches, the game continues as long as each player hits the ball back over the net. Try playing a game of tennis against someone who never hits the ball back and see how you get on lol

Kill people with kindness, show the content of your own character as opposed to seeking engagement with others and reflecting theirs.

Humans are predisposed to see 'differences' in people, so people will always judge to some degree, there is no getting away from that, but in the end who cares? Just because someone else has their own issues and insecurities and projects them onto others doesn't mean I am going to feel bad about accommodating my needs. Always expect good intentions from people and don't get caught up in 'predatory listening', whereby you are expecting someone to say something negative / wrong so you can 'put them straight' regardless of what it is they actually say / mean. If people have such an external focus when at Disney World with their families they have far bigger issues than a few distasteful comments..... and as such feel sorry for them and smile ;o)

I try to live my life by the old adage...

"Extinguishing someone else candle doesn't make your own shine any brighter..... "

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

If someone says something to dh I well pretend to have a hearing problem, my only concern is if his feelings get hurt though but my skin is very thin compared to his

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

If someone says something to dh I well pretend to have a hearing problem, my only concern is if his feelings get hurt though but my skin is very thin compared to his

You are not going to be able to make sure that your husband's feelings aren't hurt. Let him take care of himself.

Relax. Try to stop stressing so much.

 

[mamabunny]

If someone says something to dh I well pretend to have a hearing problem, my only concern is if his feelings get hurt though but my skin is very thin compared to his

Sweet girl, don't worry. It's going to be fine!

 

[arminnie]

I joked earlier about being happy if someone told me I didn't look disabled - but that's because I am now in my 70s and was quite active until just a few months ago.

I hate the assumption that just because I am old - I am feeble and weak. I was active and very able bodied until very recently. I always thought people who lost mobility were weak because they did no physical activity or they had ortho problems with knees, hips, etc. I kept in shape and have never had joint issues - but I had a nerve die in my leg - probably due to having sepsis a few years ago. TBH I'd rather have this than have kidney or heart failure which are the most common outcomes for the sepsis I had.

I realize that as an old person I do sort of get a free pass for using a mobility device. But I hate being judged as being just some old lady as much as you younger people hate being judged as being a potential lazy person.

But in reality I don't think there's really all that much judging going on. The people that have offered me assistance (like getting up when I was sitting on the ground or have offered me a seat way before I needed help or an ECV) have the very best intentions. I'm going to try not to have bad thoughts or to be judgmental in return.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I joked earlier about being happy if someone told me I didn't look disabled - but that's because I am now in my 70s and was quite active until just a few months ago.

I hate the assumption that just because I am old - I am feeble and weak. I was active and very able bodied until very recently. I always thought people who lost mobility were weak because they did no physical activity or they had ortho problems with knees, hips, etc. I kept in shape and have never had joint issues - but I had a nerve die in my leg - probably due to having sepsis a few years ago. TBH I'd rather have this than have kidney or heart failure which are the most common outcomes for the sepsis I had.

I realize that as an old person I do sort of get a free pass for using a mobility device. But I hate being judged as being just some old lady as much as you younger people hate being judged as being a potential lazy person.

But in reality I don't think there's really all that much judging going on. The people that have offered me assistance (like getting up when I was sitting on the ground or have offered me a seat way before I needed help or an ECV) have the very best intentions. I'm going to try not to have bad thoughts or to be judgmental in return.

I joked earlier about being happy if someone told me I didn't look disabled - but that's because I am now in my 70s and was quite active until just a few months ago.

I hate the assumption that just because I am old - I am feeble and weak. I was active and very able bodied until very recently. I always thought people who lost mobility were weak because they did no physical activity or they had ortho problems with knees, hips, etc. I kept in shape and have never had joint issues - but I had a nerve die in my leg - probably due to having sepsis a few years ago. TBH I'd rather have this than have kidney or heart failure which are the most common outcomes for the sepsis I had.

I realize that as an old person I do sort of get a free pass for using a mobility device. But I hate being judged as being just some old lady as much as you younger people hate being judged as being a potential lazy person.

But in reality I don't think there's really all that much judging going on. The people that have offered me assistance (like getting up when I was sitting on the ground or have offered me a seat way before I needed help or an

I get this is not your point but it made me thankful that dh does not have a heart problem honestly if anything where to happen to him I don't know what I would do

ETA I think I quoted you twice sorry about that

 

[wisbucky]

I have been using an ECV for 6 years now. I had a knee replacement and my other knee has a dislocated knee cap. The knee cap has caused all sorts of issues with my leg and muscles. Some days are really good and I can walk around other days I can barely walk a minute without pain. I have come across all sorts of clueless and some ignorant people. Had one person say to me "I am really sure you need a scooter". This was when we were waiting for the night time parade at MK. I just said back I will be happy to trade with you any day.

Another time DH ad I were boarding a monorail. The CM placed the ramp down and a family of 7 jumped in front of my scooter as I was trying to board along with a stroller and got in the monorail. The biggest problem was a couple family members decided to stand. The CM was great he told them they needed to exit and they acted like they didn't hear him or understand. The cast member then brought two other cast members over and all three entered the monorail. There was some unhappy discussions going back and forth. DH told the CMs to just let them go and we would wait for the next car. The CM's refused to allow them to stay on and after a threat of calling security they exited but out the other side so they had to go back down and around by MK to get back up to the monorail again. The CM told us he does not stand for that type of behavior.

I have had guests intentionally stand directly in front of me when I have been waiting for fireworks or parades for well over an hour. Or even stand right in front of me with their child on their shoulders. I or DH will kindly ask them to slightly move over. Many do but some will not. This use to irritate me to no end. But now I just simply ask them if I could take a pic with them. When they ask why I say because of all the people here you are a VIP. They usually move over then.

After several years of using and ECV at WDW I just enjoy my time and have lots of patients. I don't worry about others. We take our time, let people jump ahead of us if they do and just enjoy the day at WDW.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I have been using an ECV for 6 years now. I had a knee replacement and my other knee has a dislocated knee cap. The knee cap has caused all sorts of issues with my leg and muscles. Some days are really good and I can walk around other days I can barely walk a minute without pain. I have come across all sorts of clueless and some ignorant people. Had one person say to me "I am really sure you need a scooter". This was when we were waiting for the night time parade at MK. I just said back I will be happy to trade with you any day.

Another time DH ad I were boarding a monorail. The CM placed the ramp down and a family of 7 jumped in front of my scooter as I was trying to board along with a stroller and got in the monorail. The biggest problem was a couple family members decided to stand. The CM was great he told them they needed to exit and they acted like they didn't hear him or understand. The cast member then brought two other cast members over and all three entered the monorail. There was some unhappy discussions going back and forth. DH told the CMs to just let them go and we would wait for the next car. The CM's refused to allow them to stay on and after a threat of calling security they exited but out the other side so they had to go back down and around by MK to get back up to the monorail again. The CM told us he does not stand for that type of behavior.

I have had guests intentionally stand directly in front of me when I have been waiting for fireworks or parades for well over an hour. Or even stand right in front of me with their child on their shoulders. I or DH will kindly ask them to slightly move over. Many do but some will not. This use to irritate me to no end. But now I just simply ask them if I could take a pic with them. When they ask why I say because of all the people here you are a VIP. They usually move over then.

After several years of using and ECV at WDW I just enjoy my time and have lots of patients. I don't worry about others. We take our time, let people jump ahead of us if they do and just enjoy the day at WDW.

Sorry I lol at the VIP part

 

[princessfionasmom]

It is best to ignore, I totally agree with that sentiment and it’s something I try to always do. However, there was one time at the airport while DH (who looks very healthy but is anything but) was waiting in a wheelchair to board the plan with DS and DD and I were waiting in the regular line. DS goes with him because if he collapses he can carry DH, I cannot. DH got out of his wheelchair to walk down to the plane and this guy in front of me made such rude comments and when I saw the look on my daughters face I just about lost it, in a calm way. But I told the guy, “that man is dying, has severe osteoarthritis in both hips, graph vs host disease in his lungs that is slowly killing him, traps CO2 in his lungs and thats not all. He does every thing he can to look strong for his kids and for me, he pushes himself to make every effort to see if it will help improve his health. I and he would gladly give you his ailments and stand in line for hours if we had to than deal with everything he has to deal with every day he is with us, so please, don’t make comments when you don’t know the situation or who’s around you”. I did feel bad for laying into the man but he just wouldn’t stop with the comments. It did shut him up and he was shocked. It is something I do regret doing, I should have moved back a few spots in the line but I do hope it made him think before he just judges people based on appearances.