Does your child act different w/their grandparents?

[Minnie824]

My mother watches my DD during the day while we work, and I swear my DD (18 months) acts completely different when shes around. She's more whiny and clingy and stubborn with grandma. I mean, when she's with me/us in the evening and weekends, she's not perfect, but she really seems to act different and be less whiny, etc. I joke with DH that I have to 'de-gramma-tize' her every night. Does anyone else have this problem and know if there is a way to get her to stop acting like that with gramma, or is that normal?

 

[Ratpack]

I feel your pain. Whenever DD spends anytime with Grandparents, we have to deprogram her

It seems she can do no wrong with them.

The only way to get this to stop is Grandma has to make it stop, if she allows her to be this way, then in her eyes, it is OK.

 

[Chloesmom]

My daughter has a wonderful babysitter who is the daughter of a family i grew up with. The whole family has adopted my DD as their own . It is great to give her that "extra" family love but she is terrible when she comes back. She is generally a great child but for 24 hours after seeing Janet she is a terror. I could kill her sometimes! We have asked her not to be so 'nice' but she is a typical Grandma. It is very frustrating and I really cannot wait until preschool starts so it won't be such a problem!

 

[Whosemom]

That's so odd! I was ready to chime in on the title. But my bunch of maniacs are always really GOOD with the grandparents, who don't believe the things we tell them about backtalk etc.

They're all a bunch of actors, one way or the other

 

[momsgoofy]

Oh, brother does he!
My DS is almost 11 and has been spending one day a week with his grandmother since he was 3. He is her only grandchild which I'm sure makes it worse, but let me tell you HER behavior is coming back to bite her you know where.
My DS has always had her attention, devotion, and could do no wrong for years in her eyes. Well, now that he's older and doesn't want to play Snow White or Winnie the Pooh with her....Sorry everyone! Boys do grow out of those things. He prefers video games and sports.
Grandma just can't understand why my DS hounds her to play with him (the things he enjoys), take him places like the mall, and doesn't want to do yard work for her. Grandma complains to me that he is being selfish, stubborn and disrespectful. I just explained to her what could she expect when she always did what he wanted in the past; she set the precedent. Since her complaints started coming we have shorten and almost completely stopped the long visits with grandma. I suppose when the two children can learn to get along we will let them play together again.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I'm with Whosemom,

My DS is perfect for his grandparents. Both sets. He would never try to pull some of the stuff he pulls with us. They love to take him and spend time with him and he is always fine when he comes back. I complain that they spoil him but am truly glad that they do. I know we are lucky!

Jordan's mom

 

[sandieb]

Hello- This is an interesting question. I have 5 grandchildren, and I adore them. My 6 year old grandson usually spends 2 nights a week with us (we all love it - Mom and Dad get a break, we are happy, he is happy). He also goes on most vacations and camping trips with us. Other than an occasional tear when he hears "No", he is good as can be. His Mom, my daughter, says at home he can be a real pill. However, the issues become more complex and repetative at home, and he has comepetion from a newborn brother and Daddy.

I try to respect the rules my daughter and son set for the kids, and they need to follow them when at my house - some things I am a tad more strict about. Anyway, I think that it is a win-win situationwhen the grandkids receive the love, attention, and care from grandparents. Sandie
PS - I am their Disney Grandmother. This year I am taking the 3 grandgirls and parents for 10 days to WDW. We alternate families every other year. We bought into the Disney Vacation Club to help make this happen. Next year I am hoping for a cruise for everyone.

 

[The Duchess]

Boy, have you struck a nerve!
My mom and dad are my daycare for the three days I work and they're basically the only ones I trust to babysit.
But....
he definately gets away with EVERYTHING at their house!
It's a struggle, but when one considers the other daycare options I guess I should be thankful!!
Anyway, my mom and dad made the last two trips with us to WDW and we drove from MASS. The first trip we took separate cars, but the second we rented an Expedition so we could all go together.
NIGHTMARE!
The first few days were horrible. My husband and I were ready to turn around and go home.
Once we set the ground rules everything turned out okay, though. Plus it was a bonus having them there to babysit.
But....next trip just DH,DS and me!!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Hey SandieB,


Will you be my GRANDMA too!!!!!! LOL.


Jordan's mom

 

[sandieb]

Oh, dear! Jordon's Mom...we own at the Beach Club Villas and they have strict limits on occupancy! So sorry...Sandie B

 

[Whosemom]

No matter what the little boogers do, its great we all have plenty of family to love on 'em.

Just laughing with my dh over this same stuff. We try so hard to be fair, and to hold the line against whining etc. But sometimes its hard! He just totally gave in to a fit and didn't realize it until I said something (after the fact and away from the kids).

And we figure, if the grandmas want to spoil, well, we'll get our turn in twenty years.

I'm sure we'd feel differently if we used our parents for childcare. We've been blessed, and sacrificed, for me to be able to stay home. But if that had to end, I'd feel so lucky if I could leave my babies with someone who loves them nearly as much as I do.


Micki

 

[GlennandAnn]

In our family, we have a magical Grandma who never says no and who is always available with chocolate and is ready to play whatver crazy game 4 y/o DS has dreamed up. I sometimes feel that I need to deprogram him when he comes home after spending time with her, but then I think that it's OK because he understands the rules at home and is a very good boy. I also think it's nice to be indulged as long as it's not overboard or the cause of some bad behavior. Luckily we don't have this problem. Like the magical Grandma told me, it's her privilege as a grandparent and her pleasure to be there for him and to be his play buddy. She watches both DS's twice a week while I work, and I couldn't ask for a better babysitter. Next to DH and I, she loves them best in the world- who wouldn't want that for their kids?

Ann

 

[travelbug24]

I am a grandma too and I feel my grandchildren behave better with me than with their parents. They are perfect little angels...most of the time.

I also try and take them to Florida once a year. I had a problem with the middle grandson who always wanted a toy when we went shopping. I told him...I can buy you every toy you want or I can save the money and we can go to Disney World. He said, I want to go to Disney World and he has never asked again for anything while we were shopping.

 

[Memaw2Wm]

along with their mom, my daughter. My daughter complains that I'm too much like a parent with them, LOL! But given that they live in my house I do have to "parent" them.

On the other hand I do "grandparent" stuff with them too ... like taking them to Disney last summer and again this summer.

As a kid I spent a lot of time with my great-aunt and uncle. According to my Dad whenever he asked Uncle George if we'd behaved Uncle George invariably replied that he never had trouble with us girls ... he just asked what we wanted to do and then did it with us!

Loved that man to death ... I have fond memories of him playing under their baby grand piano with me, doing the "Monkey" (anybody else remember that dance) and generally being a great sport and loving me and my two sisters to death!