Do you think that

Is it even a mistake anymore if you keep doing it over and over? At some point it becomes self sabotage.
I'm beginning to think that is exactly what it is in the situation I'm discussing. You can't keep doing the same thing over and over and not realize you're doing it all wrong again without it being intentional.
 
I'm beginning to think that is exactly what it is in the situation I'm discussing. You can't keep doing the same thing over and over and not realize you're doing it all wrong again without it being intentional.
I want to believe they do it unconsciously but from the outside looking in I just can’t imagine how they don’t see what they’re doing. Again. Wash, rinse, repeat.
 
I want to believe they do it unconsciously but from the outside looking in I just can’t imagine how they don’t see what they’re doing. Again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Honestly, some people are either simply: stupid, lack good judgment, unable to asses cause and effect, or some combination of these.

My husband works with a woman (he is her superior) who is just a hot mess, in her personal and professional life, and it's just all related to bad decisions she has made in the past and continues to make to this day. Her head is simply not right. The scary thing is, she is a military INTELLIGENCE officer!!! He has no idea how she got promoted to the point she has. She has no ability to think critically or make good judgements. She is a pushover and a people pleaser and has ZERO leadership ability. She did something the other day (out in the civilian world) that she bragged about on Facebook and my husband had to chew her out the next day at work because what she did was 1.Illegal 2. Extremely dangerous 3. Extremely stupid 4. Unbecoming of a Marine Corps Officer. She really, truly, failed to see how what she did was wrong. My husband had to spell it out for her. She finally relented and was like "you're right, sir, I shouldn't have done that." But, darn it if she didn't go in swinging at first and try to defend her actions.

Just makes me shake my head and wonder how people can be so blind to their own actions and fail to see the big picture.
 


Honestly, some people are either simply: stupid, lack good judgment, unable to asses cause and effect, or some combination of these.

My husband works with a woman (he is her superior) who is just a hot mess, in her personal and professional life, and it's just all related to bad decisions she has made in the past and continues to make to this day. Her head is simply not right. The scary thing is, she is a military INTELLIGENCE officer!!! He has no idea how she got promoted to the point she has. She has no ability to think critically or make good judgements. She is a pushover and a people pleaser and has ZERO leadership ability. She did something the other day (out in the civilian world) that she bragged about on Facebook and my husband had to chew her out the next day at work because what she did was 1.Illegal 2. Extremely dangerous 3. Extremely stupid 4. Unbecoming of a Marine Corps Officer. She really, truly, failed to see how what she did was wrong. My husband had to spell it out for her. She finally relented and was like "you're right, sir, I shouldn't have done that." But, darn it if she didn't go in swinging at first and try to defend her actions.

Just makes me shake my head and wonder how people can be so blind to their own actions and fail to see the big picture.
I kind of think that on some level that have to know they’re setting themselves up to crash and burn. I mean how many times do you have to beat your head against a wall to know it hurts? I think it’s just easier for them to blame the world in general rather than make a harder choice that will eventually have a better outcome if you’re willing to work for it. I think that’s why the “you’re lucky” thing chaps me so much. I’m not lucky, I work damn hard and give up a lot to make things work.
 
I have a friend/acquaintance. Our kids were in a theater group and did high school shows together. I mostly just see her drama on Facebook. However, even though our kids have moved on to college, we both still support the the youth theater group so I still see her at shows.

This woman has the "worst day of her life" each and every day! Last week, she was online trying to buy tickets to a much sought-after show that's coming to town later this year. She doesn't have a job, has one kid in high school and the other away at college. Horror of horrors that she had to wait for over six hours until it was her turn in the queue to purchase her tickets. She proclaimed it as "the most stressful six hours of my life!" She didn't have to sit and watch the screen the whole time, just occasionally check in to see if her turn was getting closer. How was that stressful? The next day she was complaining because someone cut her off in the Starbuck's drive-through and it "ruined her entire day." I never reply to her posts, but if I did, I might say, "That was the most stressful six hours of your life? Mine was in October when my dad was rushed to the hospital in full cardiac arrest and I sat for hours, not knowing if he was going to live. I stood and watched a priest give him last rites. That was stressful." (BTW Dad is alive and well!)
 
I have a friend/acquaintance. Our kids were in a theater group and did high school shows together. I mostly just see her drama on Facebook. However, even though our kids have moved on to college, we both still support the the youth theater group so I still see her at shows.

This woman has the "worst day of her life" each and every day! Last week, she was online trying to buy tickets to a much sought-after show that's coming to town later this year. She doesn't have a job, has one kid in high school and the other away at college. Horror of horrors that she had to wait for over six hours until it was her turn in the queue to purchase her tickets. She proclaimed it as "the most stressful six hours of my life!" She didn't have to sit and watch the screen the whole time, just occasionally check in to see if her turn was getting closer. How was that stressful? The next day she was complaining because someone cut her off in the Starbuck's drive-through and it "ruined her entire day." I never reply to her posts, but if I did, I might say, "That was the most stressful six hours of your life? Mine was in October when my dad was rushed to the hospital in full cardiac arrest and I sat for hours, not knowing if he was going to live. I stood and watched a priest give him last rites. That was stressful." (BTW Dad is alive and well!)
If I told you some was the worst thing ever I'm just saying it as a figure of speech. I'm pretty sure I can find things that are worse than the traffic on the highway or the potholes too lol.

If I had to guess the person you're talking about is probably like that. Annoying and over usage of a figure of speech? Probably. But I wouldn't think she's actually trying to downplay other people's stresses in life or things on a much serious note (though yes I'm assuming).
 


Is it even a mistake anymore if you keep doing it over and over? At some point it becomes self sabotage.
I think sometimes there are people out there that do that because of the attention it ends up getting them.

I don't think all are attention-seeking people in the big negative way. I've known a few that came from rougher lives and they were just so used to people's reactions that they felt if they dug themselves out of the vicious cycle they were in that they would no longer 'feel' what other people made them feel. I hope I'm making sense on that. Like it's not that people necessarily pitied them but that they got noticed when otherwise they would blend in as they lived a more "normal" life.
 
I have a friend/acquaintance. Our kids were in a theater group and did high school shows together. I mostly just see her drama on Facebook. However, even though our kids have moved on to college, we both still support the the youth theater group so I still see her at shows.

This woman has the "worst day of her life" each and every day! Last week, she was online trying to buy tickets to a much sought-after show that's coming to town later this year. She doesn't have a job, has one kid in high school and the other away at college. Horror of horrors that she had to wait for over six hours until it was her turn in the queue to purchase her tickets. She proclaimed it as "the most stressful six hours of my life!" She didn't have to sit and watch the screen the whole time, just occasionally check in to see if her turn was getting closer. How was that stressful? The next day she was complaining because someone cut her off in the Starbuck's drive-through and it "ruined her entire day." I never reply to her posts, but if I did, I might say, "That was the most stressful six hours of your life? Mine was in October when my dad was rushed to the hospital in full cardiac arrest and I sat for hours, not knowing if he was going to live. I stood and watched a priest give him last rites. That was stressful." (BTW Dad is alive and well!)

There is someone at work like this. She starts complaining from the minute she comes in all day every day and acts like the stuff that happens is such a tragedy and ruined her day but most of it is stupid. I don’t know what she will do if she has a real emergency. I also have a few co-workers who are either married to or dating a horrible guy but won’t leave yet complain pretty much every day and make excuses why they won’t get rid of the loser. I am surprised the vocal ones don’t tell them they don’t want to hear it anymore.
 
If I told you some was the worst thing ever I'm just saying it as a figure of speech. I'm pretty sure I can find things that are worse than the traffic on the highway or the potholes too lol.

If I had to guess the person you're talking about is probably like that. Annoying and over usage of a figure of speech? Probably. But I wouldn't think she's actually trying to downplay other people's stresses in life or things on a much serious note (though yes I'm assuming).

Yeah, I get that it's just a figure of speech to say "the worst thing just happened to me." I don't necessarily think she's trying to downplay more serious issues, but I do find her attention-seeking behavior to be annoying and even rude, at times. When one friend posts that their beloved dog just died and the next thing I read is "OMG I had to wait online for 6 hours to get the show tickets I wanted and it was so stressful", it just hits me the wrong way. A more positive way to post that would be "I'm so happy that I was able to get through online and get the show tickets I wanted. Looking forward to taking the kids!" Like why make it a big trauma? You got some rare show tickets. So what if it took some time and effort? Be happy about it!
 
Yeah, I get that it's just a figure of speech to say "the worst thing just happened to me." I don't necessarily think she's trying to downplay more serious issues, but I do find her attention-seeking behavior to be annoying and even rude, at times. When one friend posts that their beloved dog just died and the next thing I read is "OMG I had to wait online for 6 hours to get the show tickets I wanted and it was so stressful", it just hits me the wrong way. A more positive way to post that would be "I'm so happy that I was able to get through online and get the show tickets I wanted. Looking forward to taking the kids!" Like why make it a big trauma? You got some rare show tickets. So what if it took some time and effort? Be happy about it!

I think some people honestly do not know how to be positive. Everything is a huge stress or problem or life ruining event.
 
Yeah, I get that it's just a figure of speech to say "the worst thing just happened to me." I don't necessarily think she's trying to downplay more serious issues, but I do find her attention-seeking behavior to be annoying and even rude, at times. When one friend posts that their beloved dog just died and the next thing I read is "OMG I had to wait online for 6 hours to get the show tickets I wanted and it was so stressful", it just hits me the wrong way. A more positive way to post that would be "I'm so happy that I was able to get through online and get the show tickets I wanted. Looking forward to taking the kids!" Like why make it a big trauma? You got some rare show tickets. So what if it took some time and effort? Be happy about it!
Ah I see. Yeah personally I just don't connect posts like that on social media. For example FB uses an algorithm and shows me things on my News Feed. For sure I have unfollowed people who post political things, who are constantly posting drama drama drama.

However, if you had that friend and the other friend together in one place and the one friend was complaining about the show tickets and the other one was talked about their dog having just died socially speaking that is considered insensitive. On social media it's pretty dang hard to force a connection between the two laid out just like that other than it bothers you personally to see it pop on social media.

I'm going to guess with the person you know it's just a constant thing then and if so understandable I just chalk that up to a negative nancy and try to lessen my exposure to their comments.

Otherwise I guess you'd find it rude and annoying that when I was attempting to buy Garth Brooks tickets a few years ago the darn captcha thing kept failing on me (and it's not like I didn't know how to do it). Of course I was excited but frankly after a long long time waiting in a virtual queue and being soooo worried that I was going to let my mom and my husband down (that was my main thing really) if I couldn't get the tickets I was truly irritated when I finally was able to get the tickets because of the whole experience. Don't worry I posted a quite happy picture of us all and many more of the concert. I'm not normally a negative person on FB but I did make that one post about the ticketing experience (which many others had the same). It was a snapshot in time so apologies if that would have annoyed you :o:(.
 
I guess I'm fortunate - I don't have a lot of drama around me (or maybe I just am not paying attention?)
 

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