Do you make DH go to couples showers?

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

So grown adults have to have alcohol in order to participate in obligatory family events?? I guess I don’t feel the need to be constantly entertained & attend some family functions b/c I should. I guess no one sucks anything up anymore? I also don’t invite ppl to those occasions who aren’t close family or friends so I would hope it’s not as intolerable to them as you make it seem since they’re likely close to the child who’s bday it is.

Kidding.

This is kind of like, "Do you HAVE to drink in order to have fun with your family on vacation?" Have you met my family???

Honestly I don't care if alcohol is at a function or not. However in MY family (and general social circle) it is almost always at least available to guests.

 

[LSUmiss]

Kidding.

This is kind of like, "Do you HAVE to drink in order to have fun with your family on vacation?" Have you met my family???

Honestly I don't care if alcohol is at a function or not. However in MY family (and general social circle) it is almost always at least available to guests.

Lol! I really don’t care if it’s there, but I don’t think it should be expected.

 

[mjkacmom]

Lol! I really don’t care if it’s there, but I don’t think it should be expected.

It’s expected in my family, at pretty much every function. I’ve never seen anyone get tipsy.

 

[disneychrista]

However in MY family (and general social circle) it is almost always at least available to guests.

We were discussing this at Christmas. Many families having a few drinks (or more) (be it beer, wine or other adult beverages) is the norm for holidays & get togethers. This has never really been the case in my family. So the idea of having/providing alcohol (even beer or wine) at a child's birthday seems very foreign to me.

 

[mummabear]

I don't understand having alcohol at a party where the guest of honor can't drink.

Just because one person can’t or doesn’t drink doesn’t effect all others attending.

I think they are boring for both. I was able to help out with the food during most of the games, and then I snuck out, before I had to play any. The whole draw on a onesie, pick the name, write inspirational messages on a diaper, baby gift bingo, are not my thing either. I just didn’t think that DH should have had to go, just because it was a couples invite. DH did go spend the next day with his family hanging out and playing cards, while I was at work.

I honk it depends on the style of the party. For sure if it’s writing inspirational messages etc then either sex could find that boring. And a good example of emotional labour-why should OP have to go to a boring event for his side of the family when he isn’t willing to?
But I have seen several hilarious games, almost most like baby themed bacherlotte party (chugging baby bottle races etc)

So grown adults have to have alcohol in order to participate in obligatory family events??

Would you complain if there was no food?
Or would you suck it up because it is an obligatory family event?
In my circle not having beer or wine on offer would be like not offering water.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Lol! I really don’t care if it’s there, but I don’t think it should be expected.

I've also never been to a family party that served alcohol. It's normal for us. We have a great time, if it's just eating, chatting & opening gifts. The silly games are the reason I hate showers. If people would stop having the games, I'd be much less likely to try to invent a reason to not attend.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I think some people may be taking the word "make" way too seriously. Short of holding a gun to someone's head, you can't make anyone do anything. I don't think anyone here is "making" their spouse do anything. The way I see it I do things for my DH that I'd rather not do. I expect him to do the same for me. I'm not going to get a divorce, if he doesn't go, but I may get mad at him. He knows that I'm upset & would rather go than disappoint me, just like I do things to avoid making him mad. I consider that mutual respect for your spouse & doing whatever it takes to have a happy marriage. I'm not judging anyone's marriage, but wanted to address the people who seemed to think it's bad for one spouse to expect the other to do things that are important to them.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

DH’s much younger sister is having a couples baby shower today. None of the men want to go, so they all plan on drinking the whole time. I told DH not to go. I don’t really understand the point of have a party for a pregnant woman where half the party plans on getting drunk. I am going and making appetizers.

Honestly if it wasn’t his family, I never would have told him that he was invited at all.

DH’s much younger sister is having a couples baby shower today. None of the men want to go, so they all plan on drinking the whole time. I told DH not to go. I don’t really understand the point of have a party for a pregnant woman where half the party plans on getting drunk. I am going and making appetizers.

Honestly if it wasn’t his family, I never would have told him that he was invited at all.

I don't recall my husband going to any of the baby showers given for me. I'm pretty sure, if an actual invitation was issued to him, I'd leave it up to him whether to go or not.

 

[Hikergirl]

I don't understand having alcohol at a party where the guest of honor can't drink.

Because the guests can drink
I have no idea why people seem so confused about the fact that when you host something you are actually doing something not just for the guest of honor but for the other guests as well.
And FYI, drinking alcohol doesn't always lead to one getting drunk.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Reading threads like this make me glad that we don't live close to any of our family.

We have no family drama. No having to attend a party. Or having to provide certain drinks.

When we have a party we serve what we want to serve, we invite whomever we want to invite.

When we are invited to a party, we go if we want and we don't go if we don't want.

There aren't any expectations.

 

[disneychrista]

Because the guests can drink
FYI, drinking alcohol doesn't always lead to one getting drunk.

I am not against drinking. In fact it’s one of my hobbies , well visiting craft breweries at least. But still don’t see that it should be part of every get together or function. Like I said earlier it just never has been part of it in my circle.

 

[dish rag]

We were discussing this at Christmas. Many families having a few drinks (or more) (be it beer, wine or other adult beverages) is the norm for holidays & get togethers. This has never really been the case in my family. So the idea of having/providing alcohol (even beer or wine) at a child's birthday seems very foreign to me.

Agree. I don't understand the want or need to have alcohol at functions. Or why it's needed to have fun or even expected but it seems to be. But then again I don't drink.

 

[disneychrista]

Agree. I don't understand the want or need to have alcohol at functions. Or why it's needed to have fun or even expected but it seems to be. But then again I don't drink.

I do drink. But still don’t see why it is NEEDED.

 

[cabanafrau]

If you accept an invitation for any event we're hosting you can expect a minimum of one choice of beer on tap. Two or three on tap is by no means unusual. There's also a fairly wide variety of soft and alcoholic drinks available, potentially including a variety of interesting craft brews. It's a pleasure to offer our guests choices. My husband is an avid homebrewer and really enjoys sharing his creations.

 

[Hikergirl]

I do drink. But still don’t see why it is NEEDED.

It isn't needed, the same way ice tea, or soda is isn't needed either. They are all options, there for those who WANT it.

 

[cabanafrau]

It isn't needed, the same way ice tea, or soda is isn't needed either. They are all options, there for those who WANT it.

What do you mean, iced tea isn't NEEDED? People who know me rarely ask what I would care to drink.

 

[mjkacmom]

I do drink. But still don’t see why it is NEEDED.

Really nothing is needed. I don’t eat cake, but will serve it at a birthday party. I don’t even eat dessert, or drink coffee after 4, but will offer it to guests. Just because it’s not typical for folks in your circle to serve alcohol, it is typical in my circle, and there is nothing wrong with that.

I don’t even drink soda or juice, just water, coffee and wine. If I hosted a party and only offered my beverages of choice, some might think it strange.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I am not against drinking. In fact it’s one of my hobbies , well visiting craft breweries at least. But still don’t see that it should be part of every get together or function. Like I said earlier it just never has been part of it in my circle.

It's simply a matter of "knowing your audience." When I invite people to my home I have alcohol on hand because I know my guests will accept it, but I don't have soda because most of the people I know aren't soda drinkers and the few that are will still be choosing alcohol over soda. If I were inviting my imaginary teetoling, Diet Coke guzzling friends then I'd skip the boozy libations and have a couple of cases of Diet Coke on hand instead.

 

[disneychrista]

It's simply a matter of "knowing your audience."

Exactly. And MY audience doesn't drink at get togethers.

 

[cabanafrau]

Exactly. And MY audience doesn't drink at get togethers.

As a hostess I've never had reason to feel uncomfortable with my guests making the choice for themselves -- or felt the need to attempt to shame grown adults for their beverage choice at any given event.