Do you make DH go to couples showers?

[mom2rb]

DH’s much younger sister is having a couples baby shower today. None of the men want to go, so they all plan on drinking the whole time. I told DH not to go. I don’t really understand the point of have a party for a pregnant woman where half the party plans on getting drunk. I am going and making appetizers.

Honestly if it wasn’t his family, I never would have told him that he was invited at all.

 

[piccolopat]

Let him know what the other invited guys will be doing and let him decide.

 

[I❤️Disney]

If he doesn't wanna go then I don't think he should. I'm sure there will be some kind of vibe that he doesn't wanna be there and that might hurt her feelings. You will be going so its not like neither one of you will be there.

 

[Hikergirl]

I think my dh would want to go if it was family getting together. That is how he would look at- a chance to see his bro and BILs.
It hasn't come up yet though so I have no idea. I definitely wouldn't make him go if he didn't want too.

 

[mom2rb]

If he doesn't wanna go then I don't think he should. I'm sure there will be some kind of vibe that he doesn't wanna be there and that might hurt her feelings. You will be going so its not like neither one of you will be there.

This! He will start drinking and then very loudly tell everyone how he thinks couples showers are stupid, but he loves his sister, so he came. I would rather her be a little upset that he didn’t come, than have her day ruined.

 

[Neesy228]

I suspect my DH would go because he felt that he had to, but I certainly wouldn’t drag him there against his will.

With these co-ed showers they usually do find a humorous way to get the men involved (which may also not be his thing), so it may not be as bad as you think.

 

[quandrea]

There is no way I could get dh to go to a couples baby shower. Truth be told though, I hate showers too and many years ago swore off them. Now I just send a gift.

 

[ronandannette]

I guess if we were invited as a couple to such an event (which we never have been; never even heard of it IRL actually), we would either accept or decline the invitation as a couple. I wouldn't necessarily make him go but I wouldn't go on my own if he absolutely refused. In the case of a very close family member like the OP's SIL, we're all close enough to be honest. He'd tell his sister he thought the co-ed shower was a really lame idea and she'd tell him to suck it up and be there!

 

[Hikergirl]

This! He will start drinking and then very loudly tell everyone how he thinks couples showers are stupid, but he loves his sister, so he came. I would rather her be a little upset that he didn’t come, than have her day ruined.

I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic or not. Do you really believe that?

 

[luvsJack]

One of dil’s baby showers was a couple’s and so was one of her wedding showers. Both times all of their friend came as couples, all us older relatives it was just the women.

The guys had a good time. Ds grilled for them and they all stayed outside on the patio with him and drinking beer. They came in for gifts and the women moved outside for the silly games (which were actually more fun with the guys).


To answer your question, no I wouldn’t make dh go and he probably wouldn’t want to unless it was one in his family where he knew his brothers would be attending.

 

[mom2rb]

I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic or not. Do you really believe that?

Yes, I know my DH. He gets very loud when he drinks. He very rarely drinks. His sisters have never even seen him with a buzz, they are much younger than him. I have, it would not go well. He wouldn’t say it mean, just state his opinion to everyone around him, loudly.

 

[RedAngie]

ExH did go to a couples baby shower with me about 25 years ago, but it was more of a BBQ/family get together. When the shower part happened, the women gathered inside and the men/most of the kids stayed in the backyard.

I wouldn't "make" him go to anything.

 

[Hikergirl]

Yes, I know my DH. He gets very loud when he drinks. He very rarely drinks. His sisters have never even seen him with a buzz, they are much younger than him. I have, it would not go well. He wouldn’t say it mean, just state his opinion to everyone around him, loudly.

Then definitely leave him home!

 

[mom2rb]

One of dil’s baby showers was a couple’s and so was one of her wedding showers. Both times all of their friend came as couples, all us older relatives it was just the women.

Good to know.

 

[Action City]

We don't have couples showers here, thankfully. They are painful enough for me, I'm not going to subject him to them, too.

 

[ronandannette]

We don't have couples showers here, thankfully. They are painful enough for me, I'm not going to subject him to them, too.

Same and I may just be a grumpy old bat, but the whole idea seems absurd. I've also not heard anyone say these couples showers are ever the guy's idea.

 

[Disneylover99]

I've never been to a couples baby shower. But my husband would be happy to go if he got invited. He loves food, drink and get togethers. I'd probably try to just send him and stay home.

 

[gillep]

I strongly dislike showers of all kinds, and my husband will frequently say that one of the best things about being a guy is being left out of those types of things, so I don't think he would be attending if it were for a friend or distant family. If it were for his sister though, he would have to just suck it up and go and be a good guest, it's about her, not him, and he would get that and have no issue with a few hours of being bored to death for the sake of familial harmony.

 

[MamaLema]

Your title made me laugh as DH makes ME go to stuff like that. He is way more social than me and loves any opportunity to socialize.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

This! He will start drinking and then very loudly tell everyone how he thinks couples showers are stupid, but he loves his sister, so he came. I would rather her be a little upset that he didn’t come, than have her day ruined.

I much prefer it when people are honest, rather than have them go through the motions of social niceties they don't actually mean...
Remind me to invite your husband to something in which I need some back-up with "honest complaining"!