Do you and your spouse dance?

[disykat]

I tried to include both genders in this, but since the guys generally lead I guess I'm asking women, does your husband dance? Or if you're a guy - do you dance and if so do you lead? Mine doesn't. We don't go places with dancing so it hasn't been an issue. We didn't have dancing at our wedding. Most weddings we've been to have been very simple with either no dancing or it's been easy to avoid. On our honeymoon we danced once on a short cruise and I gave up and led. He tried when we needed to, but it's always been easy to avoid it because he is so uncomfortable. Since I met him the few times I've danced have been fast dancing with girlfriends. After 28 years I've decided I'm going to try again.

Our son is getting married with the full deal in a few months - dinner and dancing. I'm determined my husband is going to dance with me. I think it will kind of be "required." I've bookmarked a few you tube videos instructing a basic step/together dance and some songs to practice to and tomorrow night he doesn't know what he's in for! I know he'll be willing, I just don't know if I'll be able to get him to lead.

Any stories to tell? Words of encouragement or advice? Picture Sheldon Cooper if Amy is trying to make him dance. She'd tell him it was a social norm and required and he would agree to try, but not be happy about it. This is what I'm envisioning.

 

[LovesTimone]

Practicing at home will give him the chance to build up confidence, and for you to get your moves down together... I would practice a few times a week...

DH and DD at her wedding did a fun dance... which included the shopping cart, the sprinkler, the bus driver and other silliness... When she was in high school and DH would clown around with her, and they started doing this crazy dances... It was hysterical...

DH leads... sorta

 

[L&Lfan]

Not much anymore as we rarely hear “ our kind” of music, but we were big freestylers at clubs in the ‘80s. (And at 8Traxx at Pleasure Island!)

 

[theluckyrabbit]

There are special wedding dance classes available at dance studios in our area (L.A./Southern CA), so I'm sure there must be something in your area, too. These can be done as a group class or as a private tutorial. See what your DH would prefer and meet with the instructors first to see if he feels more comfortable with someone particular. We both grew up in very non-dancing homes. I took ballet lessons, but that was as far as it went. DH never danced, even in high school. A few years ago, we fell in love with the swing dancing at DL and decided to give it a try. After asking some of the dancers where they learned their moves, we started class at the studio where most of the dancers were going. You are right to place such importance on leading -- oh my! Leading and dancing are two different skills! (And YouTube really can't teach leading -- that has to be felt.) The simplest dance with a confident lead is heaven compared to a wild dance with a wimpy lead. DH compares it to driving. If your husband can drive, he can lead and dance. It's just a matter of learning the skills, learning the rules of the road, and getting used to doing different things at the same time. It doesn't have to be NASCAR, it just has to be what makes him comfortable with you -- like driving while holding your hand. Simple is fine, confident is good. Make sure he knows that you don't want him to be Fred Astaire, you want to dance with him!
(One trick to try that might help: have your DH push a fairly loaded shopping cart through the store at a decent pace -- no dawdling! -- with good posture, up and down a few aisles without really stopping, backwards, forwards, etc. That "feeling" is "leading" the cart. If he can do that, he can lead a dance!)

 

[MIGrandma]

DH and I can slow dance together okay, but we don’t fast dance. We used to square dance and belonged to a club in the 80’s. I would love for us to learn to polka too. We went to Oktoberfest in Frankenmuth last year but just watched the dancing, going again this year so want to try learning from you tube. I’ve always wanted to learn the western two-step, probably you tube videos for that too.

 

[MamaLema]

Yes! It’s how we met. We still go out dancing once in a while.

We have 3 kids ages 15-22 and they have never shown interest

All the family parties involve lots of dancing.

 

[kdonnel]

My wife and I took a dance class many years ago. The idea was that we cruised often and dancing was a big part of cruising.

We had a great time in the class but didn’t go dancing often enough to remember what we learned.

 

[Jennasis]

No. Unfortunately my DH does not dance at all. He says he feels incredibly awkward. I've dragged him onto the dance floor at weddings for the requisite slow dance but other than that he'd rather chew on barbed wire. I like dancing, but I love DH more so I sit the dances out now.

 

[Klayfish]

He says he feels incredibly awkward. I've dragged him onto the dance floor at weddings for the requisite slow dance but other than that he'd rather chew on barbed wire.

Yep, that's me too. I'd rather chew barbed wire than dance. A slow dance with DW, sure, I'm all in. But beyond that, count me out.

 

[_19disnA]

Honestly, for the type of slow-dance typically done at a wedding with the bride/groom and parents this isn't 'dancing with the stars', so you and your husband can simply sway a bit to the music and glide around. No one is going to be scoring you on your dancing abilities. I wouldn't bother with any dance classes for the brief time this dance will last.

 

[lorimay]

We dance at weddings or a party with a DJ but we don't do out to dinner and dancing, LOL.

When our son was married in 2017, I told my husband we are staying on that dance floor all night just celebrating our butts off. I knew they wanted a wedding where no one was sitting and they got that! We had a blast.
Be free, don't worry about anything, just have fun and enjoy the night!!

We are doing a 14 night Panama Canal cruise next month on DCL and they offer ballroom dancing classes daily from what I hear, I told my husband we are going to do this every day for fun and to burn some cruise food calories! Yes, his eyes rolled way far back in his head, but we are doing this!!!

Congratulations and have fun!

 

[Praying Colonel]

I broke my pelvis and dislocated my hip in a big auto accident last April. Thanks to a great surgeon and a ton of physical therapy, I gradually went from being bedridden to a wheelchair to a walker to a cane to finally standing and walking on my own. I was able to dance with my wife at my niece's wedding in November. It was a sweet victory to hold my DW and dance with her again. It's one of those things I took for granted before, but I never will again.

 

[soccerdad72]

Just the 'White Man's Overbite'

 

[tvguy]

We do when we have a chance. When we got married 36+ years ago Disco was still hot, and restaurants like Red Lobster and Black Angus all had Disco dance floors, so we dance a lot less than we used to.
Mostly now it is at weddings, or on cruises, as most ships still have night clubs with dance floors.

 

[Patience]

My husband and I hadn't danced together in many years but we did at our daughter's wedding this past November. We practiced beforehand and I think we did pretty well. My husband knew he would be dancing with our daughter for the father/bride dance but I didn't know that I would also dance with our daughter. I was totally floored when the DJ called my name after the groom danced with his mother and stated that there would be a mother/bride dance. We danced to Mama's Song by Carrie Underwood and I cried through the whole thing!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Once in a blue moon we might slow dance together.

As for fast dancing, DW loves to and I do not participate at all.

 

[slpeters]

My husband and I dance. I'm significantly taller, so he prefers that I lead (we're both guys). He's a much better dancer than I am (he's actually classically trained in ballet) so I prefer that he leads. Basically if we are doing one dance (like maybe at a wedding) I lead, if we're "going dancing" he will usually lead.

 

[L&Lfan]

Just the 'White Man's Overbite'

I think that’s adorable.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

DH and I took ballroom dance lessons back in 2014 before our daughter's wedding. After about the second class I thought we were heading for divorce. LOL But we continued through DS's wedding in 2015. We enjoyed it but there is really nowhere to dance except weddings. We have been on two cruises, and actually took a refresher class before the second, but never really danced there. Have not practiced in over a year so not sure how much we remember.

 

[disykat]

Leading and dancing are two different skills! (And YouTube really can't teach leading -- that has to be felt.) The simplest dance with a confident lead is heaven compared to a wild dance with a wimpy lead. DH compares it to driving. If your husband can drive, he can lead and dance. It's just a matter of learning the skills, learning the rules of the road, and getting used to doing different things at the same time. It doesn't have to be NASCAR, it just has to be what makes him comfortable with you -- like driving while holding your hand. Simple is fine, confident is good. Make sure he knows that you don't want him to be Fred Astaire, you want to dance with him!
(One trick to try that might help: have your DH push a fairly loaded shopping cart through the store at a decent pace -- no dawdling! -- with good posture, up and down a few aisles without really stopping, backwards, forwards, etc. That "feeling" is "leading" the cart. If he can do that, he can lead a dance!)

Thanks for the advice on leading. I think it might help. Leading truly is the problem. DH certainly would have the ability to dance but he literally just stands there waiting for something to happen.

Honestly, for the type of slow-dance typically done at a wedding with the bride/groom and parents this isn't 'dancing with the stars', so you and your husband can simply sway a bit to the music and glide around. No one is going to be scoring you on your dancing abilities. I wouldn't bother with any dance classes for the brief time this dance will last.

You would think so. I honestly had never danced with anyone who couldn't manage swaying and a bit of gliding around until I met my husband. Him taking a class a treating it as an academic topic to master might work for him, though I'm hoping to just practice at home. We'll see. We're not talking about a Sound Of Music waltz here, I don't know how to do that either, we're literally talking about trying to LEARN swaying a bit to the music.