Disney after divorce

gweninwb

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jan 3, 2012
Hey everyone! Like everyone else here I'm a huge fan of Disney World, visiting each year for the last three years. Unfortunately this past year I have gone through a divorce and I a wondering if there are any Disney fans here who have gone through the same thing? If so, how did you plan your post divorce trips to Disney? I know it sounds weird but I am a bit lost on how to go again for several reasons. First, Disney was our "family" place. I wonder if I will feel a bit sad going with DSs ages 14 and 10 on my own? How did you feel? Another thing is now we are a group of 3 instead of four. How did riding the rides together work out for you if that was the case? And lastly, did your vacation budget change a lot? Did you notice the change in the quality of your vacation? Usually we rent DVC points and stay at a deluxe. I think that when we go back it will need to be in a value (hopefully with free dining). I'm not complaining in any way. I'm just curious if you felt any change in the quality of your vacation. Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences! :love:
 
The hardest thing for me going back after divorce was that I had to be on parent duty the whole time. There was no other person to lean on. That said, my son was 4 at the time so he was still pretty needy. Just pushing a stroller and carrying the backpack (before we'd split the duty) made me extra tired at the end of the day.

Unfortunately, budget doesn't change a ton. It's one less ticket to buy, but it's still the same amount for the hotel room. With just my son and I, I don't plan as many big meals, either, we just tend to snack around and hit counter service rather than sit down meals.

Tomorrow(YAY) I leave for my longest vacation yet - 10 days on the other side of the country. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous at all. But, I feel like my son and I get closer on our trips which is something that Dad now misses out on (he does trips too, but generally more low key than I do, lol).

All that said, my ex and I got engaged on the Jungle cruise and I've yet to ride that again. Somehow we just manage to skip it on every trip. ;)
 
I divorced in 2010 and the ex and I took our kids in 2011 together. It was a very last minute trip. He had it planned with his mother and she backed out so he asked me to go since he was afraid to take the kids alone. It was a fantastic trip but we won't be doing that again.

My next trip will be in 2015 with my DF and my children. He has no kids and has never been to Disney. I do worry about how I will feel there since I only ever went with my ex and kids. I look at it as starting a new chapter in my life. I won't stay at my ex's favorite resort (CBR) since he will be taking the kids soon and will stay at that resort. I will leave that as his thing with them.

I worry more on how my kids will feel. They just say how excited they are to go back and show DF WDW. But I wonder how it will impact them once we get there.

Since we are still 4 people it doesn't change the riding system or cost of trip. Except we won't do DDP and that was a big thing with my ex. He loved the DDP.
 
I divorced last year and my daughter (10) and I are going to WDW in 32 days! I'm a little nervous. I have booked a different resort than we stayed at before. We aren't doing the dining plan this time since she doesn't eat enough to pay the adult price for it. We do have three ADRs but plan to split meals and snacks and I think that will work out better for the two of us.
I took her on a short spring break trip closer to home as a trial run and am glad I did. It is different being the only adult. I definitely felt the added responsibility but really enjoyed the extra flexibility.
And honestly I felt sad during our getaway especially watching other families. She seems to be doing fine though which is good.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one in this situation right now. Thank you for posting!:grouphug:
 
Thanks for sharing everyone. I think I would feel a bit sad too but I really love Disney and think I will make sure to return. Interesting to hear how you went to different resorts the divorce. I love AKL and think I might return someday even though we went there as a family before. :grouphug:
 
I actually go back WITH my ex and our daughter (this fall will be the 5th time since we split, weird - I know), but my advice is:

- you can definitely do it. Had my situation been different, I would have still continued to go, finances-willing, without him. With kids under maybe 6 y.o., I imagine I would have appreciated another adult being there (a friend or mom or older niece/nephew even), but after that, no problems. Your children are definitely old enough to not need constant care.
- I would recommend the first time be under different circumstances than your "usual" was as pre-divorce. I can't imagine Disney ever being tainted entirely, but I see the benefit or creating a new normal. It sounds like your resort will change and that's a good thing. And your children will be older, which means new things will interest them and make the vacation different than past ones anyway. These are new memories!!
-That being said, don't be afraid to talk about old memories, too. If you enjoyed time there together before, acknowledge it. It's good for you and for them. Just don't let those thoughts dominate your mind and you'll still feel the magic. :wizard:

Go for it!
 
I took my daughter and we had probably the best time of our lives together, just the 2 of us. It actually became an amazing bonding experience for us and those are some of the best memories I have with her. There are some memories that came back to me from recent trips but it was nothing bad, just memories, all good. It's a time to create more memories and enjoy your time with whoever you are there with. No reason to dwell or relive the past, it may even help you move on with things, doing something you love with the people you love the most. We are headed back May 22nd, less than a month away, and we can't wait!

Enjoy your upcoming trip and create some new memories!
 


Last August I took my kids for the first time after the divorce. It was the best trip to WDW that they had ever had (lets just say the ex didn't enjoy/feel the magic). Although with DD(4yrs) I was on call constantly, I had a date night with my son and she had a play night at the Neverland Club. The bonding experience was great, it really helped solidify our little family unit.

I hope you have a great time with your kids, and are able to make some wonderful lasting memories!
 
I think you could find lots of advice and support on the Adults and Solo Travelers section here too!

I actually started taking my kids without my DH when they were 4 and 6 (I'm a SAHM so have the free time, and he is very busy at work a lot). We had so much fun, that about 2/3 of our trips are just me and the kids! I would just go with whatever sounded fun to them (I love it all), and we would do much more casual meals (DH likes a sit down meal more than we care to). I find it's actually easier the less in the group - less people you're trying to please. Plus, on vacation my DH likes to either use the gym for 2 or 3 hours (yes he's very into fitness) or go for a run, so we'd head out ahead of him anyway in the morning sometimes. Just the 3 of us can just get up and go when we're ready!

I find there are always lots of other adults to chat with, and it's just a lot of fun! I have other friends who take their kids without their spouses often as well.
 
My stories probably different than most, but you wanted opinions....

I've taken DD once while married (she was 5), and once while divorced (she was 7, and brought my own mom). Ex would complain about anything and everything (he was tired, he was bored, he was hungry, food was bad, he wanted to smoke and no smoke stops nearby, he wanted to ride THIS ride not THAT one). We (my mom, me, and daughter) even left him in the hotel room one full day to do our own touring. We were military family though so got HUGE discount by staying in SoG.

I'm taking DD (will be 8) in January as just me and her. And I'm thrilled!!

Short story: Trip after the divorce did cost more (on-site room and tickets were more expensive than SoG and military discounts). But experience was SOOOOO much better. We were able to do what WE wanted, without hearing any complaining.:woohoo:
 
It helped in our situation that exH was not himself during our last trip as a family. The next trip was almost a relief because it was relaxed and low stress. We didn't have to worry about the nervous ticking time bomb we had been dragging around on the previous trip.

It also helped us that we have consciously tried to make each trip a new experience. We stay at different hotels, we eat at (some) different restaurants, etc. Don't try to duplicate great memories - just make new ones with a different set of people.

It was just 3 of us when we were married, so we just took turns being the single rider.
 
My ex and I actually we married at Disney(no happy ending for us, lol). I was nervous about going back because I wasn't sure if prior circumstance would make me not enjoy it anymore.

I went back two years ago, on a super tight budget, so no dining plan for us. Which meant no character meals, which my kids were used to doing. We rented a car and picked up groceries to save money on food. We also didn't go for as long as we usually do. We still had fun, but it was a little different.


The hardest part was contending with "old memories" from previous trips.
Once in a while, my oldest would say: "Remember the time when we..." I think going back after the divorce really was hardest on him. But we made new memories and I told him he can still remember the old ones if they are happy ones.

And once again we are headed there this coming November. It will be a trip that while still on a budget, should be like our "normal trips" with the dining plan(yay! Chef Mickey's!) and a longer stay. My new husband will be there along with my mother(her first trip ever so it's extra special).
 
It was a big step for me. But my last two Disney vacations as a married family were uncomfortable because while we were all smiles on the outside (we vacationed with friends), there was no hiding the attitudes when the hotel room door closed. That really tainted my experience.

As soon as divorce was inevitable, I planned two Disney vacations for me and DD4 - Halloween in Disneyland and Easter in WDW/DCL. My ex suggested that she join us. No, no, no! I wanted happy vacations.

Being in the parks with my daughter, without a partner, was a bit weird at first. But we embraced our Daddy-daughter vacation. I took her to Disneyland first, she had never visited there before. But we did almost everything together for an entire week. I also got a babysitter for a half-day so I could ride thrill rides. DD4 had a blast with the sitter. We had some great memories, including multiple rides on Big Thunder Mountain Railway, Splash Mountain, Radiator Springs Racers, Goofy's Sky Coaster, Gadget's Go Coaster, and It's a Small World. We also had some frightening experiences, including Space Mountain Ghost Galaxy, Tower or Terror, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Pinocchio's Daring Journey, and Snow White's Scary Adventure. (DD4 was more frightened on the family dark rides than on the frightening thrill rides, but she didn't repeat any.) It was a great week we would never forget.

In the spring, we went on a 7-night Caribbean cruise followed by a 8-day WDW vacation. On the ship, we tried to visit the kids clubs for at least an hour or two each day, but spent every dinner and evening together. I was able to get in lots of day time adult activities, and only missed a couple shows because DD4 was too tired to go out. (I watched one show was on the stateroom TV. The other wasn't broadcast.) We also spent one port day together, but she was too tired to join me for the next port day - DCL kids clubs took great care of my tired girl. Back at WDW, I didn't use any kids clubs or babysitters - we were together all week and we managed great. The only frustrating part was that our "dinner for 2" ADRs always resulted in us sitting at a 2-top table across from each other. Kiddo was still learning how to use a knife and fork properly and I had to get up to help her several times - if they put us at a table where we could sit side-by-side it would have improved our dining experience.

Foreign separated parents take note: if your child wants to call their other parent and you don't want to pay cell phone roaming fees, the Skype smartphone application works good for voice calls when fast WiFi is available. DD4 had a nice chat with her mom while we sat in the Land Pavilion at Epcot. WiFi in our resort room (Art of Animation) was weak, but we could have made similar calls from the pool area or lobby.

A Primier Annual Pass was my divorce gift to myself. When kiddo was with her mom over Christmas, I enjoyed a spectacular road trip that included a few solo days at Disneyland. I can have fun there on my own! In the late summer, just before starting school, kiddo and I also had a very budget-concious So-Cal / Disneyland vacation. I love that my daughter can embrace this and have just as much fun eating groceries in our hotel room as eating Disneyland food every meal. Daddy-daughter-at-Disney is just awesome.
 
Its good to see all this here. I have a trip planned in August that i am goin on come hell or high water. PAP already purchased as well as airfare. Was supposed to be our annual Family Vacation and it may turn into our last. But good to know that there is support out there Peace and Love
 
I went last Dec. for my first "divorce" trip. My children are all grown so no problems keeping up with everyone! We had been to Disney as a family 5 times. We have many memories there. But it is fun to go and we wanted to make MORE happy memories as the family unit that we are now. Sometimes it was a little bittersweet for me mostly. But we loved it. And we are going again the Dec. Life goes on! The path is a little different, but still full of my children and many smiles and tons of laughter. My sister had just divorced also and she went with us for her first trip. She and I both had buttons that said, "Celebrating-----My Divorce". Yes, true. She wore hers everyday! The looks she got were so funny! Several cashiers gave her 10% off. I could not wear mine. It just hurt too much. But we are all different. I did laugh with her a lot over hers! Go. Have fun. Laugh. Cry. Take pictures. Make new memories. Melissa
 
My ex and I actually we married at Disney(no happy ending for us, lol). I was nervous about going back because I wasn't sure if prior circumstance would make me not enjoy it anymore.
The hardest part was contending with "old memories" from previous trips.

I'm in the same boat (see username ;)) I took my oldest daughter to DL 2 years ago, just the two of us and this past Oct I took my youngest daughter (she's 8) and we had a blast. It really is all about making new memories. The memories I have were wonderful but the new ones I made with my girls are even more magical pixiedust:
 
Wow! Incredible thread! In the process of divorcing an angry, violent unhappy person. On one of our DW trips my son said he hoped he would never treat his kids the way his dad treated him. Broke my heart! Well we are finally free! And my son and I our happy, lots of laughter, fun in our home! Glad to know that all the other families in DW are not necessarily happy, perfect families. I remember looking around at Epcot and my heart sinking because all the other families seemed so happy and perfect. So my son and I are heading back to DW this Feb. as well as Legoland and Seaworld. Hoping for a happy stress free trip! Hearing others experiences, I think it will be a great bonding time.
 
Great topic....I'm four years late to the party but wondering if this will still get posted. I married into a Disney family in 2001 and we took our honeymoon to WDW. It was my first time there and I was blown away. Six Disney cruises and a vacation club membership happened over the next the 8-9 years. We had young children and it seemed Disney would be a fixture through life. Then we divorced in 2011. After several years of getting back on my feet financially, I took my 12 and 7 year old daughters there in fall of 2016. A wonderful friend even gave us 9 free nights stay through his vacation club at GF. I was thrilled that I could see my youngest experience Disney for the first time (she had only been there as an infant) We had a great time, although somewhat exhausting for me. I just wanted to express a few of the bittersweet emotions I experienced then and that remain with me even today: 1) Going back as a 49 year old after spending much of my 30's there definitely had an impact. Basically, I realized that most of my Disney days were behind me rather than ahead of me. I might make several more trips in the years to come, but nothing like what I was did on a yearly basis. (Note: I'm okay with this because its so much more crowded year around than it was even 15 years ago) 2) After planning the trip for 18 months, I was so excited to get back to my favorite restaurants such as Boma and Cape May. Well, sorry to say but its not the same being the only adult with two girls that eat about 3 bites each. Any one else have this experience? I ended up cancelling most of my nice reservations...couldn't justify over $200 when I'm the only one eating! Would be interested in hearing form others!
 
Hey everyone! Like everyone else here I'm a huge fan of Disney World, visiting each year for the last three years. Unfortunately this past year I have gone through a divorce and I a wondering if there are any Disney fans here who have gone through the same thing? If so, how did you plan your post divorce trips to Disney? I know it sounds weird but I am a bit lost on how to go again for several reasons. First, Disney was our "family" place. I wonder if I will feel a bit sad going with DSs ages 14 and 10 on my own? How did you feel? Another thing is now we are a group of 3 instead of four. How did riding the rides together work out for you if that was the case? And lastly, did your vacation budget change a lot? Did you notice the change in the quality of your vacation? Usually we rent DVC points and stay at a deluxe. I think that when we go back it will need to be in a value (hopefully with free dining). I'm not complaining in any way. I'm just curious if you felt any change in the quality of your vacation. Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences! :love:

Well I never took my children to Disney pre divorce but did take one child post divorce.
We mostly vacced in New England, upstate NY, and central Europe pre-divorce and I had no problem taking the kiddos to the same places; we just made our own good times.
 
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After splitting up with my ex, I wondered what going to Disney would be like after countless RunDisney trips for her races. I’m now pretty much at the parks every weekend with my daughters making our own memories at Disney. Like a certain warthog says, “You gotta put your behind in the past”. So now we’re a party of 3 and do it all together.

Fortunately they’re 7 and 11 so if they need to ride on a ride separately from me, they can. That just means I get to sit in another car and take tons of pictures of them enjoying themselves. You can’t beat that.

Enjoy yourself like you would any other trip and make those new memories.
 

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