constructive ways to deal with staring

[theladyjess]

My husband has suggested that I make cards and keep them in Hans' (my service dog) vest. He said the cards should be written from Hans point of view and tell people what he does for me and have a number or web site where the can get more info on service dogs and inivisible disabilities. I like this idea and will be making some cards when we get home from vacation.

It's hard being young (25) and having an invisible disabiltiy. We were at San Diego Wild Animal Park and a little boy passed me and asked his parents why I was in an ECV. I only wished I was in a position where I could have explained to him, but he was going the oppisite way I was.

 

[Megan's Mom]

We have had many rude comments and stares but I always try and remember the funny things that have happened as well. Years ago when Megan was about 2 or 3 years old we were at our church waiting to have our directory pictures. Little background Megan doesn't hold her head up so my DH will hold her in his lap sometimes and puts her hand behind her head to have her sit up better. So we are waiting and this little boy looks over and real loud tells his mother look she's a puppet. I thought his mother would like to melt into the floor. She had taught Megan's Sunday school class and was so embarrassed. But the way he said it was so funny and he didn't mean anything by it so everytime I see Bradly I think of that comment. The other time was when we bought Megan's first wheelchair and another little friend was about 2 and the first thing she did was walk around it and kick the tires like she was buying a new car.

When little kids especially are watching Megan or have that curious look I always try and get them to come over and talk to Megan and I tell them her name and then ask them their name and how old they are. some will ask questions like can she walk or why is in there-her chair? wE don't mind answering questions it is when they stare and won't say anything that is rude. But asking questions is a way to educate children about differences.

 

[Earstou]

I've thought about getting cards to pass out that explain my (invisible) condition, especially since no one has ever heard of Chiari.
I also carry a picture of my incision from my brain surgery. I've had people turn green when I show that to them! No more doubts about my right to use handicapped parking!!!

 

[TheMuse]

I have RA, but I am lucky enough to be able to do the parks while wearing braces on my legs, though once, I did use a wheelchair. I've seen every degree of curious look, from the double take to flat out horror. The best way to deal with it is to politely explain to others what's up, kids usually ask all sorts of questions, and I usually respond (depending on thier age) with "I use these because my doctor tells me to, they make me feel better." Or something to that effect. Education is the best weapon against fear, and it opens up the doors for so many people.
Here's a tip that I learned the hard way a couple of weeks ago in the MK- if you have mobility problems, STAY CLOSE TO YOUR PARTY!! I was literally run over by a double-wide stroller loaded with kids. Luckily, my brother was nearby to help me up after I yelled, and the people who ran me over were also rather helpful.
I hope this is useful to somebody!

 

[UponAStar]

Ro (GeekChic), s&k'smom, SueM -
Thanks for the feedback on the sign for my ECV. As much as I love "I have MS, what's your problem?", I fear other people may not share my sense of humor and it could come across wrong. In the spirit of Disney I think I'll go with a variation on the M.S. - Mission Space/Multiple Sclerosis theme. Keep those ideas coming...

SueM, theladyjess, Earstou-
I LOVE the idea of cards or brochures to hand out if anyone is curious. Maybe we can start a line of disability trading cards and people could collect them like pins. It would open up the line of communication and educate people at the same time. I for one would love a card from Hans/theladyjess - let us know if you make some up when you come back from vacation. (Please know that I am not trying to make light of the seriousness of our various situations and I hope no one takes offense. Humor is one of the things that helps me gets through the trying times. )

Megan's Mom -
Thanks for putting a smile on my face. "From the mouth of babes" - I could just picture that little girl kicking the tires of Megan's wheelchair like she was buying new car.

 

[theladyjess]

UponAStar--
I was going to make the cards before we went on vacation, but I ran out of time. I will be making them when I get home, as we just found out that we will be going to Hawaii in October for two months. I'll be more than happy to send them to anyone who would like one. Just e-mail me your address.

I like the idea of trading them like pins. Hans has pins on his vest of the places he's been and will be adding more in the next week.

I know too well about using humor to help deal with a disability. My Fibromyalgia causes me to forget things, drop what I'm holding etc. As I told a friend that I hadn't seen in a long time, it's an adventure living with me. Often I can picture what I want, but the word for it won't come. My poor husband often stands there while I go "get me a thing, it's red and round, its in the fridge". He says, "You mean an apple?" Soon I'll be able to hide my own Easter eggs, since I won't remember where I put them.(LOL)

Let me know if you want a card. chads_girl_325@yahoo.com

 

[ugadog99]

bump bump bump bump

 

[s&k'smom]

Earstoyou, now the picture of your incision is priceless! Oh what I wouldn't give to see you show that to some obnoxious guest.

theladyjess, great sense of humor, thanks for the laugh.

 

[SueM in MN]

bumping up a good (but old) thread.