constructive ways to deal with staring

[HockeyDadof2]

It is sickening that someone would actually begrudge someone in a wheelchair because they load first or because it takes an extra minute to do something. I can't say that I personally have ever heard anyone make such a comment but if I did I would surely have to say something.

 

[s&k'smom]

Because of my son's diagnosis he is able to ride a smaller van to school. But I have to tell you I am much more patient now when I get behind a school bus. Before I used to be "ugh behind a bus" but did my tune change when my own child is now riding transportation. A few times at WDW I've been on a bus when someone needed to use the lift and it only takes a few moments. I guess I just don't understand why we can't all be a bit more tolerant.

 

[HockeyDadof2]

Particularly at the happiest place on earth!

 

[s&k'smom]

Amen to that!

 

[travelitis]

I just read the entire thread and have laughed and cried. "How many inches" and the "Social integration problem" were great!

I want to respond to the poster asking what to say to her kids about mental disabilities. Granted, that's probably back on page 3, but better late...

I don't know if what I do will get a thumbs up or not, but our neighbor's son is autisitic. I told my kids that his brain works differently than theirs. Some people walk differently or talk differently, and his brain just thinks differently. I'm glad they've had the opportunity to interact with him, and they are unphased by his differences.

Sunglasses help me ignore the stares. Once I wrapped my ankle like it was injured to give people a physical
reason so I wouldn't field the comments and stares. It did work.

 

[alohacousin]

I have enjoyed reading these posts. I have had many experiences with rudeness at disney. The adults I usually have a good comeback but when the kids say something inappropriate such as "your daughter chews on toys like my dog" or Is she like human?" My mouth drops. I know they are not being mean...but on the other hand I wish the parent of the child would correct them. When a friend took her daughter to wdw she had a good comeback. When they were able to get inline through the exit, an angry father said how do I get that special treatment? Her reply was be willing to change your childs diaper for the rest of your life...then there was silence. I just don't think people think.
3 more days till our disney trip!

 

[s&k'smom]

What a brilliant comeback. I work at a human service agency so believe me I know what that's like and what families go through.

 

[Talking Hands]

I frequently get comments from people that they would sure like to have a power wheelchair like mine to get around Disney. I usually just tell them, "no, you don't" Sure it might be nice for a day but my dream is to be able to walk around in the parks like anyone else and leave the wheelchair behind. I don't like the problems that come with the need for the chair.

 

[olena]

We just got back from our trip in May. My parents went along and my Mom had to rent a wheelchair. She has degenerative bone disease, among other things, and she couldn't handle so much walking. I saw no one staring, but I'm a little too blind to tell. No one made any comments. Maybe it was because my 300 pound body-building brother was the one pushing her.....

 

[SueM in MN]

You made me smile, olena.

Glad to hear that you had a good time.

 

[Wheelsie]

I'm w/ Lisa, I'd rather walk the parks w/ DH than use this contraption (of which yes I'm thankful that was invented since walking is not an option) But you understand my frustration I'm sure

 

[Tense]

I have often wondered whether people are rude because what they see instills some sort of fear in them. Or perhaps they aren't being rude, just ignorant or misinformed. My brother was born severely autisic, profoundly retarded,scizophrenic, and non verbal, the later means no talking, but could yell and scream. He looked perfectly normal... yes.. no signs of any retardation on his face. Obviously he wasn't like everyone else, but he did LOOK like everyone else. We would get such stares, because of his mannerisms(ie rocking, or any other repeative motion, but his behavior as well). My parents believed because he was 'special' he should NOT be cooped up all the time in the house, and made it a point of taking him with us everywhere. There are many funny stories as I look back.. but quite honestly he would really be hard for people not.. NOT to stare. Imagine this.. My brother 16 years old.. in Sears.. walking past the bathroom displays... UNAWARE to him.. that they are DISPLAYS... decide he needs to USE the bathroom... yes.. you all can guess the rest.. In the middle of bed and bath.. pants down, and on the toilet! WHO wouldn't stare!AND if you know anything about Autism... just try and make him stop what he's doing! ha ha! So.. I truely understood people when they stared, gawked or were really upset. We did Alot of explaining! Most of the time people were afraid of him.. because he LOOKED normal but was not behavior that way.

 

[teri]

Oh, Tense, do I know what you mean-- just try to stop them. You are describing my life with my son... he did the same thing once, in the home improvement section of a hardware store.

When they look normal but their behavior is different, people just freeze.

 

[s&k'smom]

Oh you guys. I know about the "looks". I know in the past people thought my son was just being a brat but many times he was just reacting to his sensory integration issues. He really could'nt help himself. "If only they could walk a mile in my shoes"!

 

[alohacousin]

I just wanted to share with you all about a little girls wheel chair we saw at the Grand Floridian. On the back was a sign that said "starring is rude" My daughter came up to me and said mom you have to read this...people who stare really bugs her. She says Mom why do people walk past kelsey turn their heads all the way around and stare. My reply because she's purdy

 

[adisneyfan2]

Just returned from our umpteenth trip to WDW, but only 2nd trip after discovering SAP. Our almost 5-y.o. son is high-functioning autistic with many sensory processing issues. We can definitely relate to the stories of unsolicited advice on child-rearing and discipline. If only they knew! Our first several trips to WDW involved hours of riding the monorail around and around to decompress from a long line (like Dumbo) -- more often than not without actually ever getting to go on the ride because he couldn't hold out long enough! Then we heard about the SAP. We are very concientious about not abusing it (i.e., waiting in line like everyone else when feasible), but we use it freely when it is needed. The good news is that it has made WDW a great place that my family can enjoy like everyone else. The bad news is the "looks" & comments about using the wheelchair access lines (or exits) because my son's disabilities are not visible. Unfortunately, I have very limited tolerance for this type of thing, and hope to remember lots of the great advice above in the future. (I really liked the sign language idea!) When someone was especially bold on our last trip (over the 4th of July) I turned to her and reminded her that not every disability is visible. Then I said that for 364 days out of the year, HER kid was priveleged, but on this one day, thanks to Disney, MY kid was the lucky one. I don't think it changed her mind a bit, but it sure made me feel better!

 

[s&k'smom]

Hey adisneyfan2, great response to that rude person. I'll remember that.

 

[HALLOWEENTOWN]

I have two children with AHHD and ODD, which I guess doesn't qualify as a disability, but it does disable our outings.

These are disabilities.

 

[hilside]

A disability doesn't have to be visible to qualify as a disability. All it has to do is interfere with one or more major life functions to be a disability.. I would definitely say those qualify!

Hil
(former special education teacher)

 

[Wheelsie]

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