1)
The Oceaneer's Club
The club itself is amazing. Any kid not on the spectrum is sure to be in heaven. But the staff, who had been told about our son ahead of time, did not shadow him at all, or even check on him, even though we were told that a cast member would guide him around until he was situated with a group. We tried to limit his time to one hour in the Club, so that he wouldn't be over-stimulated, and so he wouldn't monopolize the CMs, who of course had other kids to watch, too. But both times when we returned, we found our son standing in a corner, alone, in classic shut-down mode. It was extremely frustrating to know that several cast members must have walked right by him, and just left him standing there by himself.
It was more frustrating to think he might have been standing like that for the entire hour we were gone. After a couple of times of this, we just stayed with our son in the club, and took him around to the different areas ourselves.
This was probably the most disappointing part of the cruise for us, since one of the best things about a
Disney cruise is feeling like your kids will be getting top-notch care if you and your spouse want to take an hour to spend in the adult pool, or have dinner at Palo's, or just take a nap in a lounger. Because of the inattentiveness of the OC staff, this was never an option for us.
In a nutshell, our son got a great vacation, but we as his parents never got to *be* on vacation, if you get what I mean.
2)
The crowds
If there was one single thing that will keep us from sailing on The Dream again, it would be this. Crowds are no fun even with kids not on the spectrum. But the sheer volume of people on the ship meant that we had to do some maneuvering to keep from being part of a cattle drive and sending our son into sensory overload. We ate breakfast and lunch at odd times, we skipped
Castaway Cay entirely so we could try the ship pool (and would you believe, the ship pool was STILL packed, even with half the people on the island), and basically spent a lot of time just wandering the ship, enjoying the quiet spots.
The bottom line:
The Disney Dream, while a spectacular ship, was not for us. It was beautiful, but it was too big and full of too many people for the staff to realistically be able to accommodate our son. The crowds were insane, and our food options would be risking more contamination (and a day of our son throwing up in our cabin) or bringing every bit of his food on board with us. That, coupled with no supervision in the Oceaneer's Club means that going on another cruise, for us, would be waaaaay more work than it would a vacation.
That doesn't mean that this would be everyone's experience. Each parent should judge for themselves whether they think their child's particular issues will work with the benefits (and shortcomings) of this ship. Hopefully, the Dream will live up to its name for special-needs families, even though, unfortunately, it didn't work out for us.
We'll be skipping the cruise next time, but being a die-hard Disney family, we will simply be going back to our one-bedroom villa at the Wilderness Lodge, where we can prepare all our son's meals at our leisure, not have to battle crazy crowds, and have relaxing evenings watching the MK fireworks from our balcony.