Canadian Buffoon's Back to Front Vacation - Update! 05/18 - Falling Down

[irene_dsc]

Meaning that this was the first time you weren’t asked about constipation.

I knew I wouldn't be the only one to think this.

And, um, yes, I'm here to follow this backwards TR!

 

[docsoliday1]

I'm here. Late to the as usual. Not even page 1.

 

[pkondz]

I knew I wouldn't be the only one to think this.

Glad to see my efforts
weren't wasted!

And, um, yes, I'm here to follow this backwards TR!

Great! to the TR, Irene!

 

[pkondz]

I'm here. Late to the as usual. Not even page 1.

to the TR, Doc!

 

[mustinjourney]

I'm in!

 

[docsoliday1]

Well, hi there!
Welcome to another installment
of a Canadian Buffoon's Vacation.
If you're a regular reader,
welcome back!

What you failed to say was welcome back glutton for punishment.

Nice to see you again!
And if you're new around here,

Run!!!

welcome to you too!

Pull up a chair and set a spell.

If you hear banjo music, paddle faster.

We're all fairly harmless
and generally friendly.
Drop a line and say "hi"!

Is your nose growing longer?

Hi!

I've got some 'splaining to do.

Lucy?? Guess that explains why you go by pkondz.

It's been almost a year ago now
since I went to Disney World.

Inconceivable!

I wasn't going to write about it.

Yay!

And it's gonna be a while before I do.

Awww.

A few folks want the story,

You do realize a few = 3, right? Couple = 2, Few = 3, Several >3.

and after I thought about it,

First time for everything, eh? I knew I smelled smoke, but thought that was from the new law y'all passed.

I realized that I had a few things
that I wanted to say about it.
But, you know, life moves on.

Dobla dee, dobla da, life goes on, ya....

a whole bunch of really nice folks.

And don't forget...you met me too!

Now normally, people write these things
in chronological order.
"I did this, then this, then this..."
And I will... sort of.

But are any of us normal people?

Oh, whew...it's just you again.

That's me.

See, told ya it was you!

I really know how to scare
people off, don't I?

I do have a penchant for throwing
my back out at all the wrong times.

Yeah, sadly. Wish that weren't true, but your back's timing does tend to suck.

Ingrates.

I thought that's what happened to lady's heels when they weren't careful where they stepped?

So you're stuck with me.
Or you could simply close this
window and move onto another TR.

All joking aside, not at all stuck...happily here.

I was about to hit the road. Again.

I keep asking you what the road ever did you to? Meany!

Ruby bought me a ticket.
"Here." She said. "Stop whining. Just go already."

Ruby! You go girl!

Or something like that.

Hmmm...."I'm sick and tired of listening to you cry like a 3 year old about Elton John, so you're going and that's it!"??

I decided to drive instead of fly.
I mean, given the choice between
a two hour flight or a 24 hour drive,
which would you pick???

Depends. Normally I pick the 7 hour drive to Disney because the flight would be about the same amount of time with driving to the airport, check in, security, wait for the people in the back of the plane to put their luggage in the front bins, wait, wait on tarmac, flight, wait on tarmac, wait for gate, wait to get off plane, wait for ME so I can hear "Welcome Home". But, with that said, 24 hours...I'd probably opt for the flight.

Elton John announced that he would
also be performing in Winnipeg.

Thanks Murphy!

Well... if I'd known that ahead of time,
I wouldn't have gone to Toronto to see him
and wouldn't have met or re-met so many
nice people.

See, I'd think that would give you the chance twice!

I asked him what he did for a hobby
and he said he was a body builder
and had recently won the local championship.

That's what I'd consider much more than a hobby. That's really a way of life.

And then he put his arm on my lower back
and pressed down.

Ruh roh!

I think the screaming caused him to ease up a bit.

Probably not

I could be wrong.

See?

I mean, I was certainly in no condition
to punch him in the mouth.

Good thing you didn't try, you probably would have thrown it out more.

My GPS, lovingly nicknamed "Itchin' Betty"...
Except it's not "itchin'"...
her name's an alliteration. Figure it out.
Anyway, Betty told me to turn right.
But I wanted to go left.
She wanted me to take the main highway,
and I wanted to take a less traveled one,
that I knew would be shorter.
It was really odd.
She kept telling me to "Turn right".
"At the next intersection, turn right."
"In one mile, take the road, on right."
"Why won't you turn right?"
"There's just no turning you isn't there."
"Don't you love me anymore?"
But I didn't want to.
Turn that is.
I'll think about the love part
if she gets me through this
trip safe and sound.

My daughter laughs at me because I talk back to the GPS when it does this. Umm, no. Nope, don't want to go that way. Still no. Thank you, you finally figured out the right way!.

He handed me back my passport,
and told me to have a good day.

Wait...this guy wasn't a border guard. You passed into the US illegally. If he was a border guard, he would have asked you why you look constipated.

Well... that opinion will change
later on in the trip.

Ruh roh!

Wanna come along for the ride?

Coming up: First DISmeet of many.

Silly wabbit, of course I want to come along for the ride. Hopefully I can get my squirrels to peddle faster so I can try to keep up.[/QUOTE]

 

[pkondz]

I'm in!

Well, hey there stranger!
Where ya been?

And to the TR!

 

[pkondz]

What you failed to say was welcome back glutton for punishment.

That was implied, I believe.

Run!!!

If you hear banjo music, paddle faster.

Oh, no.
Everything is fine.
Juuuuust fine.

Is your nose growing longer?

Hi!

So that's why I keep
bumping into walls!

And.... Hi! to the TR!

Lucy?? Guess that explains why you go by pkondz.

I used to have red hair.

I used to have hair.

Inconceivable!

You keep using that word.
I do think it means
what you think it means.

You do realize a few = 3, right? Couple = 2, Few = 3, Several >3.

Oh! Sorry. My bad.
Allow me to correct myself...

"A couple of folks want the story,"

Better?

First time for everything, eh? I knew I smelled smoke, but thought that was from the new law y'all passed.

It helps me think.


I think.


Therefore I have no
idea where I am.

And don't forget...you met me too!

I didn't want to lose
all my readers, ya know!

But are any of us normal people?

I know I'm not.
So who am I to judge???

Oh, whew...it's just you again.

You were expecting
red hair, weren't you.


Not a question.

Yeah, sadly. Wish that weren't true, but your back's timing does tend to suck.

I think I know why, too.

I thought that's what happened to lady's heels when they weren't careful where they stepped?

Oh, I solved that.

All joking aside, not at all stuck...happily here.

Yep. You're right.
You're definitely not normal.

I keep asking you what the road ever did you to? Meany!

Did you not read my last TR?
It threw a dog crate at me.
This time it picked a different
missile, but...

Ruby! You go girl!

Hmmm...."I'm sick and tired of listening to you cry like a 3 year old about Elton John, so you're going and that's it!"??

Oh yeah. I forgot that part.

Depends. Normally I pick the 7 hour drive to Disney because the flight would be about the same amount of time with driving to the airport, check in, security, wait for the people in the back of the plane to put their luggage in the front bins, wait, wait on tarmac, flight, wait on tarmac, wait for gate, wait to get off plane, wait for ME so I can hear "Welcome Home". But, with that said, 24 hours...I'd probably opt for the flight.

I tend to pick planes too
over cars when I consider
Hawaii or Europe.

See, I'd think that would give you the chance twice!

I'm actually considering it.

That's what I'd consider much more than a hobby. That's really a way of life.

I suppose so.

Good thing you didn't try, you probably would have thrown it out more.

Yep. That's what held me back.
His size had nothing to do with it.

My daughter laughs at me because I talk back to the GPS when it does this. Umm, no. Nope, don't want to go that way. Still no. Thank you, you finally figured out the right way!.

So I'm not the only one, then!

Wait...this guy wasn't a border guard. You passed into the US illegally. If he was a border guard, he would have asked you why you look constipated.

I didn't have time to
put on that face.
It was in the backseat.

Silly wabbit, of course I want to come along for the ride. Hopefully I can get my squirrels to peddle faster so I can try to keep up.

Or to escape...

 

[rdkeim]

In! Glad I got in close to the beginning this time. I do love a good road trip!

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Much better off reading this
with your eyes closed.

Is that the UN Surgeon General's Warning or the general WHO Advisory.

Actually... you know what my one
big regret from this trip is?

Not making the left after Ashville to stop off at Tank Town USA?

https://tanktownusa.com/

Missing meeting you.

No, that's not it.
Try again.

Besides, our Surgeon General currently has me listed as both a Schedule-1 Controlled Substance and a Know Carcinogenic. You're better off.

That you know of.

This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Correct.
I should have said
I'm getting behind myself.

No one else is, so...

It's all related to that disavowing thing what was going on back there.

Hmm... valid question.

With potentially catastrophic consequences.

...explains all the random
weaving across all lanes
of traffic.

A better reason that back spasms, to be sure.

Nice! When are you going?

Not until March, but we're lookin' forward to it.

We've been trying to catch more of the concerts that travel through the area, but given the expense, you have to pick and choose which ones you can pull off. I've not seen Sir Elton live before so that just needs to be done.

Ya know...
Where is that from?
I've heard it forever, but...

Not sure of the precise origin of the phrase, but it's predicated on most folk being right-handed and as such crowds tend to travel toward the right when given a choice.
So, rule-1 when at Disney: Go Left Young Man.

But you know that.

Correct.

or... er... incorrect?

Irreverent, is more likely.

Was just translating form English to South'rn.
Down here, the cardinal (N-S-E-W) directions are: Up, Down, Over & Out.

 

[QueenJen]

Wait, I don't have to bend
to reach the palette, do I?

Of course not - unless you have to bend to use your imagination.

I would laugh, but...
I see where gas prices are.

Well....precisely 12 hours after I filled up....prices dropped $.05/gal.....then at the 24 hour mark.....another $.05.....I lost on that tank.

That's a good man.
You should keep him.

Yep - a keeper.

Annnnnnd...
A little part of me died
as I huddle from the cold and snow.

I'd say that my work here is done....but I'll periodically through out some current weather updates for ya. I've had to start pulling out the long sleeve shirts and UGGs. If it hits the low 60's, I might have to search for a jacket.

But then again,
watching paint dry
beats work.

What if painting is your job?

 

[pkondz]

In! Glad I got in close to the beginning this time. I do love a good road trip!

Hi!
to the TR!

Yup. You're getting in
on the ground floor.

 

[pkondz]

Is that the UN Surgeon General's Warning or the general WHO Advisory.

Probably both.

Not making the left after Ashville to stop off at Tank Town USA?

https://tanktownusa.com/

Well poop!
But... tbh,
since they're not actual tanks
(tanks = turrets with big guns... to me anyways)
I'd be more interested in that excavator.
Always wanted to do that.

No, that's not it.
Try again.

Nope. That's it.

Besides, our Surgeon General currently has me listed as both a Schedule-1 Controlled Substance and a Know Carcinogenic. You're better off.

Better off what?

This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Wait! I wanna know if <pffffttt>

Darn it.

A better reason that back spasms, to be sure.

Oh, yes.
Absolutely.

Not until March, but we're lookin' forward to it.

We've been trying to catch more of the concerts that travel through the area, but given the expense, you have to pick and choose which ones you can pull off. I've not seen Sir Elton live before so that just needs to be done.

I am very happy I saw him.
Been wanting to for... oh...
about 40 years.

Not sure of the precise origin of the phrase, but it's predicated on most folk being right-handed and as such crowds tend to travel toward the right when given a choice.
So, rule-1 when at Disney: Go Left Young Man.

But you know that.

Yes I do.

Irreverent, is more likely.

That's the word I was looking for!

Was just translating form English to South'rn.
Down here, the cardinal (N-S-E-W) directions are: Up, Down, Over & Out.

 

[pkondz]

Of course not - unless you have to bend to use your imagination.

Well, my imagination is
pretty bent, so....

Well....precisely 12 hours after I filled up....prices dropped $.05/gal.....then at the 24 hour mark.....another $.05.....I lost on that tank.

I hate that.
I feel like I've lost
at a very important game.

I'd say that my work here is done....but I'll periodically through out some current weather updates for ya. I've had to start pulling out the long sleeve shirts and UGGs. If it hits the low 60's, I might have to search for a jacket.

Oh, Gawd!!!

What if painting is your job?

Then you paint.
You don't have to watch it dry.
You just have to put it on.

 

[DonnaBeeGood]

.

 

[pkondz]

Aye Aye, Cap'n, reporting for duty!

Hi Donna!

to the TR!

No, wait, you're the Duke, I should be calling you Your Grace!

That was so much fun.
I'd love to do another party.
I even have an idea for a costume.

You are not improving my fear of massages though

Sorry!
Just don't go if you're already
just about paralyzed, maybe.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Well poop!
But... tbh,
since they're not actual tanks
(tanks = turrets with big guns... to me anyways)
I'd be more interested in that excavator.
Always wanted to do that.

Granted they have a retired Brit Personnel Carrier rather than a “tank” meaning that
the wicked-cool factor would be a smidge lacking, but the driving experience would be the same.

That said, I’d agree with you that the “Track-Hoe” might be more fun for the bucks.

Especially if they’ll let me do this…

I know you might have to wait till you get home to watch it, but it’s worth the look.
It’s a good illustration of your typical South Carolinian’s ability to apply our state’s official motto:

”Tacebo Cervisiam; Vigilate Mecum…”
Translation:” Hold my beer; Watch this…”

Nope. That's it.

Still think you’re delusional

Better off what?

Better off avoiding known hazards.

Wait! I wanna know if <pffffttt>

Darn it.

That’ll learn ya’.

 

[pkondz]

Granted they have a retired Brit Personnel Carrier rather than a “tank” meaning that
the wicked-cool factor would be a smidge lacking, but the driving experience would be the same.

Yep.
I wouldn't be able to say:
"I drove a tank!"

Similarity be darned.

That said, I’d agree with you that the “Track-Hoe” might be more fun for the bucks.

Especially if they’ll let me do this…

I've actually seen that before.
I laughed then.
I laughed now.

I know you might have to wait till you get home to watch it, but it’s worth the look.
It’s a good illustration of your typical South Carolinian’s ability to apply our state’s official motto:

”Tacebo Cervisiam; Vigilate Mecum…”
Translation:” Hold my beer; Watch this…”

Ah!
So many good things
have come from that motto.

Still think you’re delusional

You think you're the first
person to tell me that????

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

You think you're the first
person to tell me that????

Of course not.


But being as I'm already certified as delusional...
I'm likely the first one who was actually a qualified, impartial and competent judge of the condition to make the assessment.

 

[pkondz]

Of course not.


But being as I'm already certified as delusional...
I'm likely the first one who was actually a qualified, impartial and competent judge of the condition to make the assessment.

Well...

I'm gonna have to give you that one.