Bon Voyage breakfast - upselling to kids

[MamaRoo]

I’ve been pushing my kids (4 and 8) to order for themselves in restaurants. We talk in advance about what they’re choosing, but I like them to tell the server what they’d like rather than talk through me.


We were at the Bon Voyage breakfast the other day and had a server completely take advantage of the situation. My 4yo ordered, and then my 8yo dd asked for lemonade, and the server asked if she wanted it in the Ariel cup. Well of course she did! And then asked if she wanted the Ariel glow straw. Well of course she did!


Then the server goes back to my 4yo and asks him if he wants the Pasquale glow straw. Basically, she just sells them $16 worth of garbage with no mention of the cost, and no glance in the parents’ direction.


Now I know that some of you will say that I should have stepped in with a firm “no thank you”, but I felt like i was put in a bad spot. One, if I’m teaching the kids to speak for themselves, I don’t want to step all over that, and two, I honestly didn’t want to risk the meltdown of telling tired, hungry children that they couldn’t have what the server just offered up. Honestly i was a little stunned by the whole thing, so I let it slide. I even thought “well maybe she is gifting these items to them since she approached it the way she did”, but no, there was the $16 in additional cup charges, that I then had to carry around the rest of the day.


Has this happened to you? Wondering if I should comment on it to Disney? The lady at the gift cart in the front was a little pushy with the kids, putting the Pasquale wristlet on them, etc, so maybe it’s the restaurant’s leadership that is pushing the upsell really hard.

 

[mom2rtk]

I would have totally stepped in with a "We'll pass on that". They can learn to order with a few parental controls.

 

[sharonabe]

Sorry, but I think this one is a teaching moment for you. We've done the same thing with our two boys. If they were ever offered something we hadn't already discussed, they knew to ask us first or at least to look towards us for some direction.

So, I would use it to teach your girls about the upsell and to ask you before they agree to anything a server suggests.

 

[dreamer17555]

Honestly I think she was doing her job. You could have interceded or have spoken to your children before arriving about what was or wasn't off limits to order. I could see her maybe "upselling" to the 4yo but maybe she was just concerned he would feel left out with a light up item and since you did not object to it for your 6yo it was ok?

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. When allowing your children to order with no guidance or restrictions it opens you up to this sort of thing. I wouldn't want to get a server in trouble over it.

 

[kaybird]

We also do the order yourself for the kids and grandson. They know that if there is anything "extra" the adults will take care of ordering that item. They are great about saying "no, thank you" " just, water please", etc. It has served us all well, they love to try different things! Kudos to you for starting them out early!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I agree with the previous posters. You had the perfect opportunity to jump in a guide your children.

Part of ordering on their own is handling the "upsell."

 

[Hopefully]

I agree with the majority. Our grandchildren order for themselves as well. But with many experiences with parental guidance they know the "rules". It is a "No Thank You" to the server for the extras. I think you missed a teaching moment

 

[DisneyWishes14]

My DS10 also orders for himself but knows to seek my approval if something is offered or asked that hasn't been previously discussed and agreed upon between the two of us. The offer of the cup and straw would have gotten a polite "no thank you". Even if he had said yes, I would have then intervened and told the server that we actually would not like the items. You mention you speak to your children in advance on what they are ordering. It sounds like they veered from the script so I don't think there is any problem with stepping in and saying no.

 

[BJ7644]

Guess I'm going against the grain here but I think it was rude of the server and he/she was taking advantage of the situation. I would have put an end to it though, the most common way I use is telling my daughter how much whatever it is costs and that she can pay for it with her saved money. Usually turns out she only wants it if she doesn't have to pay!

I think you can encourage the independence while maintaining control. No harm in reflecting back on it with your children, saying you let them order the extras that time, special occasion etc., but going forward only ordering what was already discussed.

In that case though my mouth may have said something like "well kids, we can purchase the cup and straws or we can tip, your choice!", since the server thinks the kids are totally capable of managing money and all.

Pushy sales annoy the heck out of me. And when it's to my kid I nearly go bananas. Only time I think I gave in was when a Girl Scout troop "offered" a Gatorade to my daughter since it was so hot out then hit up my husband for the $3. Since the girl was only 10 or so (and raising money) we obliged but even at a few bucks I wouldn't have to an adult.

ETA: My daughter does her own ordering, was 5 during our Disney trip, 11 table service meals and never had an attempted upsell.

 

[Allison]

This one is on you. If you are teaching them about speaking for themselves, this is part of that process.

Also, if you objected, you need to speak up.

 

[IrishNYC]

My 8 year old is finally starting to order for herself, and knows to say, "No, thank you" to an offer like that, but if she didn't, I would have no problem interrupting and saying, "No, thanks, just the drink is fine." It's the server's job to upsell. It's your job as a parent to reign it in when your young children don't know that it's an option.

 

[KenHutch]

Had something like this happen when my daughter was 5, she wanted the glow straw thing in her cup, she said yes and I informed her that it came out of her spending money. Even at 5 when she heard it was her money she then declined. I found out when it was my money she wanted stuff when it was her money she really thought about it.

 

[Arielfan98]

Were your children aware of the extra cost of all these items? I wouldn't expect a 4 and 8 year old to understand the extra costs involved and therefore wouldn't expect them to step up and say "no, thank you" even if they weren't too shy to speak....

 

[DisneyHardin]

The server should have said something like “They do cost extra, so you better check with Mom/Dad first” after she presented them as an option.

 

[rg35]

Nobody is really "at fault" here.

The server could have done something differently, but she probably assumed the parents would step in if they didn't want the souvenir beverage items.
The parent could have interjected but felt it would have been contradictory in allowing their kids to speak for themselves.

Both parties could have handled things differently, but they didn't.

At the end of the day no major harm was done here and I don't really think this is something worth giving a lot of extra thought to. Live and learn.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

yep, this one is on you. not sure you can expect the server to think of your wallet. If you didn't want the kids to have the souvenirs, you could have stepped in. Even though you are trying to teach them to speak for themselves, they're still kids, and yes of course they wanted that stuff. They probably know that Mom says, goes.

 

[BUFtoMCO]

I’ve been pushing my kids (4 and 8) to order for themselves in restaurants. We talk in advance about what they’re choosing, but I like them to tell the server what they’d like rather than talk through me.


We were at the Bon Voyage breakfast the other day and had a server completely take advantage of the situation. My 4yo ordered, and then my 8yo dd asked for lemonade, and the server asked if she wanted it in the Ariel cup. Well of course she did! And then asked if she wanted the Ariel glow straw. Well of course she did!


Then the server goes back to my 4yo and asks him if he wants the Pasquale glow straw. Basically, she just sells them $16 worth of garbage with no mention of the cost, and no glance in the parents’ direction.


Now I know that some of you will say that I should have stepped in with a firm “no thank you”, but I felt like i was put in a bad spot. One, if I’m teaching the kids to speak for themselves, I don’t want to step all over that, and two, I honestly didn’t want to risk the meltdown of telling tired, hungry children that they couldn’t have what the server just offered up. Honestly i was a little stunned by the whole thing, so I let it slide. I even thought “well maybe she is gifting these items to them since she approached it the way she did”, but no, there was the $16 in additional cup charges, that I then had to carry around the rest of the day.


Has this happened to you? Wondering if I should comment on it to Disney? The lady at the gift cart in the front was a little pushy with the kids, putting the Pasquale wristlet on them, etc, so maybe it’s the restaurant’s leadership that is pushing the upsell really hard.

I'm going to agree with you OP. Tough spot in that setting. You've already spent so much but don't want to risk It being overshadowed with the kids being upset. At home kids being upset is a fact of life but if it's avoidable on vacation let's avoid it. I did order one for my daughter this week when she was in the bathroom for a surprise. Nice thing is that the waiter provided it for free.

 

[TiffanyA]

The kids likely didn't know it cost extra and I'd really hope that not being able to get exactly what they want would not upset them. I see this as a teaching moment to let them know that it indeed does cost more. I can understand being put out by the waitress, so I won't blame the OP there (cause I hate that kind of upsell too), but I do think with this you can teach your kids that most add-ons aren't always free and how to handle them.

In the end I agree with @rg35 . No one's at fault (and I don't like trying to assign blame if I can help it) and I wouldn't dwell on it in anger. Give the kids a lesson after the fact and show them the bill and act out how to handle it next time. Chalk the extra money up to the lesson.

Servers aren't going to stop upselling - though some are distastefully blatant about it. IMO, good servers will upsell but take cues from you about what you might want and then make it apparent that it is an extra cost so that you can decide if its worth the splurge. And hey, sometimes it is and its appreciated if its an option you didn't know about but suits you.

 

[bumbershoot]

I would have totally stepped in with a "We'll pass on that". They can learn to order with a few parental controls.

Yep. One awkward moment then solves many future moments. And it teaches the kids that there are extra charges to things. Although we often did get the glow clipon, or the cup or whatever, our son always knew that it was an extra charge. And especially since we were generally getting WATER in the cup, he definitely knew that this was something very special! And he knew that *each time* he was to ask us about it.

It's the server's job to upsell. It's your job as a parent to reign it in when your young children don't know that it's an option.

Ayep.

The server should have said something like “They do cost extra, so you better check with Mom/Dad first” after she presented them as an option.

There's no "should" on the server. So this time it irked the parent. Not that the server knows this, of course. As far as she knows this was the perfect way to do this, since it worked and no one said "no". But let's pretend she could hear the OP's thoughts. So she decides to change it up, and the next table she goes to she asks the parents first. And those parents don't care or are splurging etc, and those parents get irked with her for asking them about it! Servers develop ways of doing things that work for them. They can't know if it isn't working for you unless you tell them.

Countless people buy cars from dealerships when dealerships use certain methods on them. Those methods peeve me and will NEVER work on me. I tell them what they did wrong and we leave. It might work for the next 100 people who walk in the door of that car dealership, but they KNOW it didn't work for me and they know why. And there's no "should" on car dealerships, either. They do what works. You've walked in that door; you probably want a car. They will try to sell you that car. Period.

 

[Jennasis]

Nobody is really "at fault" here.

The server could have done something differently, but she probably assumed the parents would step in if they didn't want the souvenir beverage items.
The parent could have interjected but felt it would have been contradictory in allowing their kids to speak for themselves.

Both parties could have handled things differently, but they didn't.

At the end of the day no major harm was done here and I don't really think this is something worth giving a lot of extra thought to. Live and learn.

Nailed it.