Beggars are getting bold!

[penn19]

Zombie thread!

I did skim it and saw a post by C.Ann. I still wonder about her sometimes.

I didn't look at the dates and saw some names I hadn't seen in forever. Then I realized...

 

[hereyago]

We have them where I live as well. I do not give to them. I have seen them work in teams, tag off to another person so the first beggar can get a break.
One time a beggar was outside of the grocery store, he said he had slept in the woods in the rain, his boots were bone dry and mud free and where he pointed were no woods.

 

[L&Lfan]

It has gotten worse here, but my absolute WORST experience with panhandlers was in Europe where they gather at EVERY tourist site.

 

[Kellykins1218]

My daughter and I were a Pizza Hut some years ago and this guy came in passing out cards with the ASL alphabet and asking for a dollar for them. We watched as he came over to our table and then started signing to him to stop begging and get a job. Boy did he get angry. Started to sputter and low and behold he not only could speak but could speak well. Oops caught.
Never buy cards from these people. They don't get but $.10 per card and the rest goes to the person who provides the cards. They are playing on the hearing person's feeling of poor deaf person.

There was a guy that used to pull this at our local grocery store on a weekly basis. My friend's husband would honk the horn or yell 'Hey!" and the guy would turn around every time.

 

[Magpie]

If there are those of you who think you are helping kdis/babies....
Give to local Food Bank and child/family charity programs in your community.

Lets just say, that there is just the very slight chance that a pahnandler is actually a parent in need.... I would not want to enable a child to be kept in a situation with no food, housing, and parent out begging. Giving to Panhandlers is the worst approach. 99.9999 they are just mentally unstable, or on-the-take. And, I would not want to choose to enable that.

With regards to kids/babies, this is usually true in North America. There are often better options than taking your child out begging, and few parents want their children on the street anyway (I've only once seen it in my town, and the shop owner called the police to come and help the woman get to a shelter).

That said, I've read some heartbreakingly difficult situations where a family with say, a thirteen year old son, will find themselves unable to stay in a family shelter because the son is too old and must go alone to the men's shelter. Families like this often face hard choices, and finding help can be horrendously difficult. If they get lucky, a police officer might help them out of the kindness of his heart (like this fellow: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/...less-family-hotel_us_56019778e4b0fde8b0cffcd5) but not everyone gets so lucky.

And what it comes down to is, if I was mentally ill and ended up on the street, I sure wouldn't begrudge myself a dollar or two for... well, anything that might make me a bit happier, really. Sure, a panhandler might spend your donation on drugs or alcohol, but my thought on that is - can I really judge someone down on their luck for wanting to drown their sorrows in a glass? A gift is a gift. Give it, or don't give it. But once it's given you don't get to dictate how other people use your gift.

Having two very dear family friends with severe mental illness, I am acutely aware of how privileged I am to be mentally healthy.

So the possibility that a panhandler may be mentally unstable is not a reason, for me, to refuse to give. And for the record, I also give to the Food Bank, on a recurring monthly basis, and to other charities as well. It's not one or the other (at least, for us).

 

[MamaBelle4]

A gift is a gift. Give it, or don't give it. But once it's given you don't get to dictate how other people use your gift.

Yes. To me, it is my job to give if I have it to give, to help those less fortunate than I am. If the person isn't less fortunate or spends the money on a shot of whiskey or drugs, that is not my concern. I helped how I was best equipped to. What they do with it is between them and their creator.

 

[aprilgail]

zombie thread but replying anyway LOL- I had a guy in the train station say he needed money for the train to get to a certain stop I said well you are in luck, I work for the railroad, come with me and I will make sure you get on the train and where you are going- I started walking towards the train and he took off the other way.

I don't typically give to beggers but there was one guy asking for a dollar while I was waiting in the train station- he wanted to buy a pretzel from auntie annes pretzels- so I didn't give him money but I took him over to the pretzel place and got him a pretzel and drink- he told me his name was Jesus. So the next week same time same train we go and I see him sitting on the floor- I went over and said "hey Jesus you hungry for a pretzel" he said yes so got him that again- every week for the next month same time he met me there and I did the same thing- then I didn't see him for a few weeks. When I saw him again I asked where he had been and he said the hospital-bought him another pretzel and drink. My daughters acting thing in the city ended so we don't take that train anymore but I look for him every time I am in Penn Station but haven't seen him in about a year. Oh but funny thing was the first time I brought him over to get a pretzel after we did that we walked back there a few minutes later because my daughter wanted one and they handed her a pretzel and drink and when I went to pay they said "no we saw what you did for Jesus, take this on the house"

 

[luvsJack]

I don't EVER give to panhandlers.
They are just on the take....

We used to see this guy in the same spot all the time... needed money for food (near an interstate Cracker Barrel)
DH used to laugh and say, we ought to pull up and throw him a can of tuna fish...
We called him the tuna fish man!!!!
Said his Lexus was probably parked right around the corner....

No they are not ALL on the take. Some yes. There are several near my work that are truly homeless for different reasons. And some are truly hungry. Glad you and your husband think throwing someone who may be hungry a can of tuna fish is so funny.

Its not hard to figure out who needs help and who is just trying to make a buck. The ones here stay close to the same spot and within walking distance of either the homeless shelter or the homeless camp they have set up on the creek. Which would explain any one here being in the same spot all the time. The guy I mentioned when this thread was new, that was at the ball park, was in a residential area not near the shelter or the camp.

I have also encountered a Mom and her child. It was very obvious that was her first time to be out doing that. She seemed to just need some help to the next pay day. I bought her and her child a meal. She cried and kept saying "look, baby, we have some food". When she say the chocolate milk for her child, I thought she was going to completely break down. You can't tell me that wasn't real and she didn't really just need a helping hand.

The Vietnam vet that I see every so often, is homeless. I have seen him going toward the homeless camp. Its pathetic that any veteran in this country is homeless. And yes, when I see him, I buy a meal and give him $5 as do a lot of people I know.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I didn't know that this was a Zombie Thread at first!

Anyhow, funny how so many people just have to jump in and quote me directly, totally exaggerate or totally miscontrue what I have said, and even put words into my mouth.
I am used to it here!!! Seems to be a popular thing to do.

I think it is pretty clear that I do not think that children in need, or people out trying to 'take' from others is actually funny. My DH was only trying to make light of the situation and we were reassuring our son that nobody was really starving.

Where I live, there is not a bona-fide homeless population.
There are several organizations who work to provide food and shelter and support for those in need.
We and our son's Scout Troop have supported them.
My son has collected food for the food banks, and taken our nice dolly to help load food into peoples cars at food distributions. (I don't think we saw any Lexus, either)

I stand by my post...

I am not going to pat myself on the back thinking how much good I have done, when in reality I know that I would only be enabling a problem.

 

[Squirlz]

We stay in Detroit's Greektown 4 to 8 nights a year and they are always out on the sidewalks. I had to give props to the one guy who said "I ain't gonna lie to you, I just want to buy a cold beer." I laughed and gave him a couple bucks and he said "Gimme one more and I won't have to ask anyone else."

 

[MamaBelle4]

My DH was only trying to make light of the situation and we were reassuring our son that nobody was really starving.

But how did you know that? How did you know he wasn't starving?

When I was little, we were homeless. My dad had a good job, we were just down on our luck. Back then, places could refuse to rent to you if you had children, and a lot of affordable places did. We lived in our van. My dad never pan handled or begged for money. But there were times there was no food. My parents applied for foodstamps, but were denied because the van counted as an asset my parents should've sold before asking for assistance, never mind that it was currently our home.

A couple months after we got back on our feet, my Dad took me with him to grab gas for our car (I always loved when I'd get to go on one on one trips with him), and as we were walking out, there was a man asking for money for his family. My dad did not hesitate, he opened his wallet and gave him his last $20.

As we were walking away, he said to me, "Always remember there are people who need more than we do. If you can give, it is your job to give." THAT is the lesson my father taught me about homeless people. And THAT is the lesson I hope to pass on to my children. Compassion always beats judgment and contempt.

 

[Heidict]

I have no problem giving a buck or two or five, if I have it on me. Maybe they are scamming me, maybe they are legit. Maybe they are going to buy a beer with it or food. Doesn't matter to me what they are doing with it. The last thing I would ever do would be to make fun of them, especially with a child present.

 

[Magpie]

But how did you know that? How did you know he wasn't starving?

When I was little, we were homeless. My dad had a good job, we were just down on our luck. Back then, places could refuse to rent to you if you had children, and a lot of affordable places did. We lived in our van. My dad never pan handled or begged for money. But there were times there was no food. My parents applied for foodstamps, but were denied because the van counted as an asset my parents should've sold before asking for assistance, never mind that it was currently our home.

A couple months after we got back on our feet, my Dad took me with him to grab gas for our car (I always loved when I'd get to go on one on one trips with him), and as we were walking out, there was a man asking for money for his family. My dad did not hesitate, he opened his wallet and gave him his last $20.

As we were walking away, he said to me, "Always remember there are people who need more than we do. If you can give, it is your job to give." THAT is the lesson my father taught me about homeless people. And THAT is the lesson I hope to pass on to my children. Compassion always beats judgment and contempt.

You have a great dad! I have personally found some of the most generous people I've known, are people with the least to give.

While we were never homeless ourselves, we were on food stamps. And I've known several of my friends to have been homeless, at one point or another in their lives. My children's godfather is bipolar, and once, due to a series of very poor decisions when he was still un-diagnosed and un-medicated, only avoided jail thanks to the good will and understanding of a judge, who chose to help him get treatment instead.

So with regards to what I've taught my children... I agree with you, and I often find I keep coming back to the phrase: "the inherent worth and dignity of all human beings". Which is a concept that applies to every person, even the really annoying, obnoxious ones.

 

[princesspiglet]

I live in a small town in central PA (Hershey), so we don't see any beggars here. I know there are some in the Harrisburg area though. We (my family) have traveled extensively and have seen beggars in almost every major city we have been to, but nothing prepared us for what we saw in Paris last June. There were so many people "sleeping rough" as they call it. Whole families- pregnant mom with little kids living on mattresses on the street corner near the Seine...cardboard box houses near Notre Dame. Everywhere you went, there were homeless people sleeping on the street or in the Metro. We loved the city but seeing all of that was very sad. We bought food for one family we saw that included a pregnant mom and 3 little kids. They were all filthy, just sitting on a mattress with one blanket between all of them. We went into a boulangerie nearby and purchased about $100 in food that included sandwiches, bread, cheese, meat, some fruit and some treats for the kids. We handed it to the women and tried to speak the limited French we knew and she was so very thankful...started crying and the kids were so excited to get food. My DD14 was so happy to give them food and brighten their day, but I found her that night crying while in bed because it affected her so much. We now tend to purchase food for any beggars we see instead of giving them money.

 

[luvsJack]

I didn't know that this was a Zombie Thread at first!

Anyhow, funny how so many people just have to jump in and quote me directly, totally exaggerate or totally miscontrue what I have said, and even put words into my mouth.
I am used to it here!!! Seems to be a popular thing to do.

I think it is pretty clear that I do not think that children in need, or people out trying to 'take' from others is actually funny. My DH was only trying to make light of the situation and we were reassuring our son that nobody was really starving.

Where I live, there is not a bona-fide homeless population.
There are several organizations who work to provide food and shelter and support for those in need.
We and our son's Scout Troop have supported them.
My son has collected food for the food banks, and taken our nice dolly to help load food into peoples cars at food distributions. (I don't think we saw any Lexus, either)

I stand by my post...

I am not going to pat myself on the back thinking how much good I have done, when in reality I know that I would only be enabling a problem.

No one is patting themselves on the back. Only pointing out that they have encountered truly homeless and truly hungry people.

There are several organizations here too. A homeless shelter down the street. Several food banks. A "soup kitchen" type place. Problem is, the homeless camp is on one side of town and the soup kitchen is on another. the shelter can only take so many. So the single men choose to leave space for women and children and families. And what are they going to do with food from a food bank that has to be cooked? They certainly aren't pulling up to a food bank in a car.

If you truly do not have a homeless population (and how do you know the "tuna fish guy" as you call him, wasn't homeless?), your area is lucky. We didn't either or have much of one until after Katrina. Now we have more than enough to share. Some want to be where they are, they don't know how to live any other way. Some don't have a choice right now. Some want better, they just don't have the resources to get there.

I don't think buying a meal for anyone is enabling any problem.

 

[Shanti]

My car broke down at a big intersection once, and two beggars came over to help me push it to a side road. I really appreciated it, as I could never have done it myself. They never asked for any money and left quickly. I didn't have any cash with me that day to offer to them in thanks, & felt bad I couldn't help them. I went back to the same intersection the next day, but they weren't there. Never saw them again. No one else but them had offered to help me that day.

I believe in "judge not, lest ye be judged". Are there scammers out there? Yes. Are there truly struggling people out there? Absolutely. Decide for yourself whether or not to give, but don't be cruel or make fun of people you don't know, and don't disparage people who choose to give.

 

[Westcoastwild]

the city where I have been asked for money the most was Paris.

At Notre Dame Cathederal, I sat outside for about an hour waiting on my family to come out. This was super interesting to me. An elderly woman beggar in a long dress and bonnet was carrying around a cup, begging. she appeared to be so old, hunched over, could barely walk. the police came by and told her to get lost. She left quickly but as she bent over to pick up her things, i saw she had on new expensive athletic shoes! As she left, she wasn't hunched over at all - walking perfectly fine. I don't think she was actually an old woman. About 15 min later, a different " old woman beggar" appeared. Same exact outfit in a different color. Do they all work together? Don't know.

It's just a common scam. So are "priests" or "nuns". I mean obviously they exist but they aren't sitting at the entrance of a free church collecting "admission" fees in a can.

A lot of people warned me about the scam artists of Europe but I don't see how anyone who has been to an American city would fall for stuff like that. I see panhandlers in the expensive tourist areas of SF, Portland, and Seattle all the time. Stories are different but it's always obviously a scam.

They can be nice people though. Guy startled me a few weeks ago- I dropped my keys into the garbage- I said I had no change and he still helped me get the keys out. So after I went into a bathroom to wash up, I got change and gave it to him. I don't like it when people give to panhandlers and I don't generally, but even though he took responsibility for me dropping my keys, I really am enough of a klutz to do that no matter what.

 

[Liberty Belle]

DH just came home from the grocery store. He said a woman approached his car and asked for money to buy food. He handed her a $5 bill and she thanked him. He began to roll his car window up when she abruptly stopped him and said, "Hey wait! I need 35 cents more to pay the tax on my sandwich with the $5 you gave me". DH laughed and said someone else would have to pay her tax and drove away. This floors me that someone would ask for *more* money from a total stranger. Oh well...

Many people who are out begging for money and food have mental health issues, so yeah, while it was rude and seemed ungrateful, she probably didn't realize it would be taken that way.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't EVER give to panhandlers.
They are just on the take....

We used to see this guy in the same spot all the time... needed money for food (near an interstate Cracker Barrel)
DH used to laugh and say, we ought to pull up and throw him a can of tuna fish...
We called him the tuna fish man!!!!
Said his Lexus was probably parked right around the corner....

Wow.

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

I never have cash on me so rarely do I have any money to give. I will always oblige anybody who asks for food. It's possible they're just looking for a free meal as a scam, but that's on them.

No way could I say no to somebody asking for a meal and be ok with myself. Often times if I'm at the gas station or near somewhere that has food and I'm asked for money, I'll offer to go in and buy a meal. I'd say it's about 50/50 on responses taking the offer and declining saying they only want cash.

Some of these responses make me sad. Sure, there are tons of scams (many to buy alcohol and drugs usually to self-medicate mental illness. The stats on mental illness and homelessness are in themselves sad), but this idea that all these panhandlers are living high on the hog off your hard earned money is as bad as the pervasive "welfare queen" myth that has been proven false time and time again.