Baby doesn't grab back when held

[hmkenn0]

I know this is not about Disney- but when I was pregnant and had gestational diabetes (insulin 3 times a day) I learned more about diabetes from this forum and its links than I did from my nutritionist, home health aide and doctor combined! So thank you to all of you who ever posted about diabetes!
So I thought I would ask the 'experts' about this one- I have googled it, binged it and can find nothing- so wanted to see if anyone has any experience-
When I hold my baby (14 mo) he doesn't hold on to me and never has. I have even tried to fake let go of him to see if I can get him to hold on- but he just sits there with his legs down and his arms by his side. He is very difficult to carry because of this- basically a sack of potatoes all of the time. His babysitter complains about it too and sometimes when I am out with him people will make comments about how weird he looks when doing this. Until now I have tried to convince myself that he just really trusts me- but I am beginning to think that this is really weird behavior.
He seems pretty much normal in most other ways. He crawled early (6 months) but is not walking and crawls funny. Basically he waddles back and forth when he crawls head one direction and bum in the other almost like a crocodile. He has tried to walk and will pull up but seems really off balance and has never managed more than one step. He does look at me, laugh at me, and is starting to sort of say a few words (but no one outside our family thinks he can talk).
Have any of you ever encountered this and if so what if anything was it related to and what was done about it?

 

[Piper]

Have you talked with your pediatrition? If you think there might be a problem, that is the place to start.

 

[hmkenn0]

I mentioned it at the 12 month check up but the NP laughed it off- will try again at 15 months....
Just trying to see if anyone else that I can find had a similar experience since I can't seem to find anything about it..

 

[lucigo]

I was at our local autism chat Tuesday and someone had a 3 month old baby, which lead to a discussion about our kids as babies. The mom of an 18yo with autism said that her first red flag was what you posted, that her son never held on when she held him.

I am NOT saying your son has autism, only that you should listen to your instincts and find a doctor who will listen also.

 

[WheeledTraveler]

Can you see an actual MD and not an NP? I know a lot of good NPs, but when problems start showing up, it can be harder for them to deal with.

I'd suggest if you're worried, calling and letting them know now. Then it's not just something you happen to bring up at an appointment, but it's something you're calling because you're concerned about. Whether you see the doctor early or not will depend on how close to the 15 month appointment you are and whether you decide you want to push to address it sooner.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Can you see an actual MD and not an NP? I know a lot of good NPs, but when problems start showing up, it can be harder for them to deal with.

I agree. If the NP is laughing off your concerns, then you need to see someone else, and an MD would be the next logical step. I think you are right to be concerned.

Please trust your mother's instinct. When DD was 15 months old, she really wasn't talking yet. She was lagging behind the other kids in her room at daycare in vocabulary. She'd had multiple ear infections, and I told her pediatrician I was concerned about her speech development. He dismissed my concerns and gave me a lecture about how every child develops at their own rate and I shouldn't be comparing my child to others. Well, 3 months and 2 more ear infections later, the pediatrician finally gave us a referral to an ENT. The ENT confirmed that DD wasn't hearing and likely hadn't been hearing for several months. We had tubes placed, and in a matter of weeks DD's vocabulary took off like a rocket. I still kick myself for not being more forceful about my concerns at 15 months. I knew something was wrong but I let the doctor dismiss me. Please seek out someone who will listen to your concerns!

 

[cgncga]

Your little guy sounds like my 7 year old who still won't hang on when she's being carried. She has always been just a dead weight when carried. She has hypotonia (low muscle tone) and has been receiving physio & occupational therapy since before her second birthday.

When I hold my baby (14 mo) he doesn't hold on to me and never has. I have even tried to fake let go of him to see if I can get him to hold on- but he just sits there with his legs down and his arms by his side. He is very difficult to carry because of this- basically a sack of potatoes all of the time. His babysitter complains about it too and sometimes when I am out with him people will make comments about how weird he looks when doing this. Until now I have tried to convince myself that he just really trusts me- but I am beginning to think that this is really weird behavior.

 

[Rangerusa1111]

I highly recommend you get your child checked out by a qualified developmental pediatrician. In the event there is an issue, time is of the essence at that age.

The waddle is what concerns me most. As mentioned, could be a sign of a muscular disorder.

 

[kirstenb1]

Your little guy sounds like my 7 year old who still won't hang on when she's being carried. She has always been just a dead weight when carried. She has hypotonia (low muscle tone) and has been receiving physio & occupational therapy since before her second birthday.

Our experience with our younger dd was exactly that of cgncga. When I would describe the difference between our daughters, I'd say our older dd would "grip you like a baby monkey holds its parent". Arms around the neck, and legs doing some work too.

Our younger dd was dead weight. I always felt that she would have fallen if I didn't grip her. OP, there is Early Intervention for kids who need a little extra help. Whether you follow up the chain with your doctor or a specialist, regardless, every state has a program for kids who may or may not have a delay. In some states, it's called Birth to 3. Here in Va it's called Early Intervention. If you choose to call them, they will meet with you, and determine if your child has a delay of some type. If so, they have physical therapists to work with them. EI helped our younger dd learn how to walk, and it was a very beneficial experience.

Either way, I think you need to escalate your concerns. They're legit.

 

[ratlenhum]

Hold him in front of you with him facing away. Tip him like you are going to drop him on the floor. Does he put his arms out in front as if to break his fall?

I personally would call a developmental pediatrican. Your regular pediatrician should be more aware and proactive especially with the rate of autism and other developmental delays just sky rocketing.

Call your county health department and ask them for a phone number for their early intervention program.

Better to worry and panic over nothing than to wait it out and let months go by when you could be getting him help he needs that can make a HUGE difference at this age. Trust me, I know from experience. I questioned odd things about my son from 13 months old. The county early intervention put me off (make them come evaluate your child, do not take "he sounds okay" for an answer), his pediatrician put me off and all my friends told me I was a paranoid first time mother. My son didn't get diagnosed with any issue until age 2 and got no therapies until then. I always wonder what difference could it have made if therapies would have started at 13 months instead of 25.

It's always better to error on the side of caution. Ease your mind and have him evaluated

 

[treehugnmama]

I am an infant development therapist and work with infant with developmental delays. Was he full term? I would suggest seeing a developmental ped if you can. I have some developmental screens I do with parents if you are interested pm me and I can help you do one. It would be beneficial to take with you to dr appointment. Make sure you stress he is not pulling to a stand and not cruising furniture. Also mention the different crawling technique. Does he seem to prefer once side to the other? Is he using his left hand more than right or vise versa? You should not see a preference at this age and it can show a weakness on one side Of the body. If he is sitting can he catch his balance? Questions to bring up to ped.

 

[bookwormde]

Yes you should get an appointment with a "good" developemental pediatrician. Even if it is just the child's "nature and pace" it is good to be sure. If it is someting else, the progress that has been made in early therapies is amazing so starting early if there is a substantial issue can make all the difference in the outcomes.

bookwormde

 

[deegack]

I would get a second opinion and probably call Early Intervention for an evaluation. DD has muscle tone issues (very high muscle tone in the back and very low in the stomach) and would arch her back very badly whenever she was held. My original ped dismissed it as she was 4 months old and would correct itself. I ignored her, went to EI and she received PT twice a week for over a year and now still gets it once a week. I have since changed doctors and her new peds are much more proactive.

good luck

 

[hmkenn0]

Thanks to everybody for the replies- I am lucky and have an open access HMO which doesn't require referrals to in-network specialists so I am going to call the developmental pediatrician in town tomorrow and make an appointment. In paying attention a little bit more to him yesterday I am really thinking that there may be some low muscle tone issues as he has a very difficult time supporting his weight when he tries to pull up.
One of the reasons that I posted on here is because my husband thinks I am crazy but after I brought it up to him again yesterday we realized that when my husband carries him he holds up his legs and carries him in the front so he wouldn't notice since he always supports all of his weight, but now agrees with me that something is odd. So it will be helpful I think to have Dad say something to the Dr. too, not just laugh it off with them like he did last time.
Hopefully we will get it figured out soon!

 

[Zeebs]

My daughter who is 10 months this week, does the same thing she also throws herself back when being held and I think she gets tired sitting up as if you hold on your lap it doesn't take long before she is throwing herself backwards and starting to get cranky. If you sit her in her support ring, high chair on the couch etc, she instantly pushes her bum out so she is slouched. We have been referred by a specialist as he thinks she has mild hyptomia (we saw him due to weight issues) they don't want to see her until she is a year old.

Since the referral she has rolled over twice so I am feeling a bit better with her progress, but she doesn't weight bare and goodness the fuss she makes if you put her on her stomach.

Unfortunately I only have two very energetic boys to compare her with and they all hit their milestones at the "average" times.

That said she is the most contented baby and is so happy just lying on the floor watching her brothers.

Kirsten

 

[minkydog]

OP, I strongly agree with the other advice you've been given. You know your baby and if you're radar is going off you should listen to it. You need to get a second *or even third!* opinion. Something doesn't feel right. I wouldn't wait. I think you can make your own referral to your county's Early Intervention program. They will come to the house and evaluate your child. They don't make a diagnosis but they can determine if your baby could benefit from services such as PT or OT or Speech.

 

[kirstenb1]

Minky is exactly right. It can take several months here to get into see a developmental pediatrician. In the meantime, EI, can take a look, and if your child meets the criteria, begin therapy. Their assessment is free, compared to the $$$ for a dev ped. All you have to do is call and they will come to your home, or if that's not a good option, they'll meet with you elsewhere.

 

[Eeyore5]

Hold him in front of you with him facing away. Tip him like you are going to drop him on the floor. Does he put his arms out in front as if to break his fall?

I personally would call a developmental pediatrican. Your regular pediatrician should be more aware and proactive especially with the rate of autism and other developmental delays just sky rocketing.

Call your county health department and ask them for a phone number for their early intervention program.

Better to worry and panic over nothing than to wait it out and let months go by when you could be getting him help he needs that can make a HUGE difference at this age. Trust me, I know from experience. I questioned odd things about my son from 13 months old. The county early intervention put me off (make them come evaluate your child, do not take "he sounds okay" for an answer), his pediatrician put me off and all my friends told me I was a paranoid first time mother. My son didn't get diagnosed with any issue until age 2 and got no therapies until then. I always wonder what difference could it have made if therapies would have started at 13 months instead of 25.

It's always better to error on the side of caution. Ease your mind and have him evaluated

I am an ECSE Teacher (early intervention). The one problem we run into when parents have concerns is sometimes the delay isn't enough to qualify them for services. In MN, children under three years need to show a delay at or below the 6th percentile or have a diagnosed condition known to have at least a 50% chance of affecting development. It is frustrating as a teacher not to be able to help families when they are concerned.

OP: I second the suggestion to call the early intervention program. If your child doesn't qualify, they might be able to give you ideas to help your child then check back in with you. We can also talk about options in the community. In my state we can't refer or make recommendations for private services since we are through the school district. But I will tell parents what options are out there. In MN all EI services are free.