Any other Steven Wright Fans???

[lewdyan1]

I always laugh when I hear him. I first saw him live in 1990 and he never changes...

"I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific"

"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

"I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing."


Anyone else like this guy?

 

[mickeymousemom]

We love Steven Wright....

"I bought some powdered water but can't figure out what to add to it"

I only wish I could think of the things he does...he cracks me up.

 

[UrsulasShadow]

"You can't have everything...where would you put it?"

 

[mickeymousemom]

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm
the only one moving.


There are tons more where this came from. I was crying from laughing so hard!

 

[liamandcaili]

"Why are there no B batteries?"

 

[lewdyan1]

"It doesn't matter what the temperature the room is, it's always room temperature."

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

He cracks me up!!!

 

[Haley'smom]

"I was driving with my friend who is an AM radio host. Everytime we go under an overpass he fades out"

"My girlfriend paints her nails with whiteout. In the middle of the night I write misspelled words on them."