Any former cops with alcoholism, ptsd and depression?

I’ve always wanted to do the “Dinner with an Imagineer” experience, but I feel like I would be so intimidated that my questions would border on the asinine. Plus, I’ve always been socially awkward, so I feel like it would be a very bad experience for her/him.

Plus, I imagine that these people really don’t want to have to do this!
 
I’ve always wanted to do the “Dinner with an Imagineer” experience, but I feel like I would be so intimidated that my questions would border on the asinine. Plus, I’ve always been socially awkward, so I feel like it would be a very bad experience for her/him.

Plus, I imagine that these people really don’t want to have to do this!

We have never done the "dine with an Imagineer", simply because we found out that it's not one-on-one (or your party + 1 Imagineer), but instead could be like your party + up to 25 total people... so I said thanks, but no thanks; it becomes more like a Q&A at that point than an actual discussion.

We did, ironically enough, meet an Imagineer through a chance encounter with a friend one evening at Disney Springs, about two years ago, and had a lovely chat, and I asked him about those "dine with..." events. He said that he had never signed up to do them, simply because he isn't comfortable speaking in front of large groups, and said that if it was a true "one-on-one", he would be happy to do them regularly!

The most interesting thing I learned from our discussion was that Imagineers can be given credit on multiple venues or media items for just one project, because as Disney re-uses the IP that they created, the original Imagineers that were involved in the design are given credit. I was glad to learn that Disney is very good about making sure that their Imagineers/Artists are (literally) given credit where credit is due!

He has worked on all kinds of stuff - literally from background work on Lion King, drawings for Princess & The Frog, all kinds of stuff all over TV, movies, the Parks, even for Disney Springs. He's a remarkable person, and I hope we have a chance to see him again on one of our future visits.
 
I have some good news, or potentially disastrous news... I booked a flight to where my wife is so that I can drive her and the dogs 19 hours home.

It’s potentially good because I might get my wife, dogs and life back.

It’s potentially bad because she’s already threatened to leave the dogs and not stay.

On the good hand :) she’s told me it’s ok to book a reservation at Disney for thanksgiving dinner

On the bad hand, I’m seriously scared that I’m getting my hopes up for no good reason.

While your responses have been great, I very much regret the fact that most people on this board either don’t like me or think I’m a “troll”

When you’re in a panic, as I am, the more people there are to “put to in your place,” the better.

If anyone is watching this thread and doesn’t believe it, I’ll send a screenshot of my flight info.
 
We have never done the "dine with an Imagineer", simply because we found out that it's not one-on-one (or your party + 1 Imagineer), but instead could be like your party + up to 25 total people... so I said thanks, but no thanks; it becomes more like a Q&A at that point than an actual discussion.

We did, ironically enough, meet an Imagineer through a chance encounter with a friend one evening at Disney Springs, about two years ago, and had a lovely chat, and I asked him about those "dine with..." events. He said that he had never signed up to do them, simply because he isn't comfortable speaking in front of large groups, and said that if it was a true "one-on-one", he would be happy to do them regularly!

The most interesting thing I learned from our discussion was that Imagineers can be given credit on multiple venues or media items for just one project, because as Disney re-uses the IP that they created, the original Imagineers that were involved in the design are given credit. I was glad to learn that Disney is very good about making sure that their Imagineers/Artists are (literally) given credit where credit is due!

He has worked on all kinds of stuff - literally from background work on Lion King, drawings for Princess & The Frog, all kinds of stuff all over TV, movies, the Parks, even for Disney Springs. He's a remarkable person, and I hope we have a chance to see him again on one of our future visits.

So, do you mean that the guy who decided to create a coaster with a ride in the middle (7 dwarves) will get money for every design thereafter?
 
So, do you mean that the guy who decided to create a coaster with a ride in the middle (7 dwarves) will get money for every design thereafter?

No, but they get portfolio credit or bragging rights! :)

Imagineers don't get residuals like recording artists or actors who get paid every time their performance is viewed/heard. They just get their name in the end credits of a movie, or listed somewhere in the Disney archives.
 
I have some good news, or potentially disastrous news... I booked a flight to where my wife is so that I can drive her and the dogs 19 hours home.

It’s potentially good because I might get my wife, dogs and life back.

It’s potentially bad because she’s already threatened to leave the dogs and not stay.

On the good hand :) she’s told me it’s ok to book a reservation at Disney for thanksgiving dinner

On the bad hand, I’m seriously scared that I’m getting my hopes up for no good reason.

While your responses have been great, I very much regret the fact that most people on this board either don’t like me or think I’m a “troll”

When you’re in a panic, as I am, the more people there are to “put to in your place,” the better.

If anyone is watching this thread and doesn’t believe it, I’ll send a screenshot of my flight info.

Fine. I'll tell you how the cow ate the cabbage, as folks say around my parts.

I know that sometimes people don't come across the way they intend to in writing - especially in a forum like this, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. To a point. Because if your story is genuine, you must get some professional help; all the kindness of strangers here, and anywhere else on the Internet is not going to fix what is wrong in your world. For that, you need a licensed, skilled therapist. We have all offered you ideas on where and how to get the assistance you need to help you with your mental health issues, but no one here can do much more until you haul your *** to the doctor. So, do it. I expect to see a reply from you no later than Monday that tells me when your evaluation appointment is with your new therapist. Period.

Having said all that, here is what I think you need to think about before you go flying off to retrieve her, based on what you wrote and nothing more.

She has already told you she will leave you and the dogs once you are back in Florida, right?

So, go get the dogs - and her if she willing to come to your home - and get on with your life. You must now live your life FOR YOU, and act as if she is only a visitor in your life - because that's what she has told you.

Don't get your hopes up, because she is telling you that after Thanksgiving, she is gone. No amount of magical thinking, or wishing or praying will change the outcome unless she decides for it to. Accept that she is there temporarily.

I don't know anything about your relationship with her - and I don't need to; it's none of my business, and not really important to the advice I'm giving you. You need to hear what she is telling you, and accept it. The fact that she is willing to allow you to bring your dogs home is great, as is the fact that she wants to have Thanksgiving at WDW - but she is sending you a clear signal that she doesn't intend to stay.

What you do next is important to your recovery.

You can choose to fly there and allow yourself to believe that this is a fresh start and everything will somehow magically be OK, or you can choose to accept what she is saying, and be happy that you have your dogs, you have a home in Florida, and you have the ability to get yourself back on track.

I don't know what your life goals are; I don't know much about you, and I don't need to. It's not my place. But I do know this - from personal experience with depression: Nothing changes until you do. You are the only person who can "fix" yourself, and part of that is talking to a professional, and being able to keep moving forward, with or without your wife.

I think you are an intelligent person - and I think you are also in pain. Whatever form that may take - depression or otherwise, I sincerely hope you get the help you need, because I know that things do get better.

But live in reality. Leave the fantasy at Disney World. Get up off the couch, get the help you need, and go on down the road - and be happy with yourself.

And good luck.
 


I always start one of these conversations by laying out my bona fides. For someone talking about their disability to another who shares it or a similar one it is a way of letting you know that my experience might not match the particulars of yours but maybe it matches some of the intangible elements you are going through. It's a common practice but to a lot of people it comes across as bragging about your disability. I don't know why , but most people are genuinely supportive of their fellow man's trouble right up to the point where that fellow man starts talking about it. So I try to take everything you (or anyone else) describe at face value and offer support and sometimes suggestions based on what I see. So don't feel bad asking out to strangers what might seem a weird question. Most of us on this particular board will at the very least point our rolled eyes away from the keyboard.

Me personally, well I made my first PTSD and anxiety breakthrough by deciding that every other person on earth, until I could prove it wrong, was a high functioning AI algorithm operating through a flesh based dumb-terminal. I know, that sounds like it would just make it worse right? But if everyone else is just a machine, then they aren't really thinking all those thoughts about me that go through my head all the time when I'm among them. So that's part of what got me out from under my bed (a literal coping mechanism for me back in 2002).

How long does it take? Well I let my anxiety get out of hand. To the point where I was hiding in my own closet for days sometimes. Once I made the decision to bring in some outside help, I would say I went from basket case to somewhat functional in 2 years. Head shrink really do earn their pay.

Just an overall outline of that walk towards feeling normal again...
  1. Figure out the cause of the condition. No energy you spend on any other element of your current condition will pay off until this point begins to resolve.
    • I was across the East River from the WTC when it fell, My wife was in Chalmers subway station, one of those with soot faces walking across the Brooklyn bridge. As a technician, sort of famous at the time for fixing the unfixable machine failure, I was not wired to accept this level of powerlessness and it took years for me to process what I went through that day.
  2. This can mean choosing your battles in ways that seem reckless or counterproductive in the moment.
    • Alcoholism, in its own right is a terrible burden, but if it is being used as a substitute for medication, going clean and sober will not do you any good until you have something to replace it with. I never struggled with substance dependency and use alcohol often as adjunct therapy along side anxiety meds and tranquilizers. Any addiction specialist will tell you that while quitting heroin is not the best time to give up smoking. Maybe clearing the ol' brain box of your most horrible spiders is not the best time to quit drinking. Maybe it is, I'm not a doctor.
    • Is your wife's absence a cause or a symptom of your deeper issues? It sounds like she left because of how you became. Now, despite how much better you will feel having some elements of your life return to normalcy, if the reasons she left in the first place are not resolved, she will not stay. And every departure will hurt like a fresh wound. Consider taking this one slow. And consider the "games" it seems like she plays are just as likely her own elements of emotional self-protection. It is easy to feel like everyone is against you like this, but those around us are often just as confused and scare as we are.
  3. Baby steps
    • Set alarms on your phone or computer and do 3 things to do for tomorrow. Just 3 things. Wake up sometime in the morning and then take a shower and shave. That's it. If it takes you all day or if you get it done right off, that's all you need to do. The next day you can gather up all the garbage to throw away. The next day you can gather up dirty laundry. The next day you can sweep and do dishes. Day after that, maybe tidy up some clutteryour house is presentable for company.
  4. Now it's easy.
    • Day one, just throw all your dirties in the washer and switch the load to drier when it beeps. That's it for the whole day.
    • Day Two, wash any dirty dishes.
    • Day Three, Throw away any garbage.
    • Day four, manage your personal hygiene.
    • Day Five, put away anything that's out in the main rooms (living room, kitchen, bathrooms, dining).
    • Now take the weekend off.
  5. Manage that regimen for a month or two and then add productive elements to each day. Build up what you do every day very slowly.
That's what I had to do anyway, to get back to something like normal. I can't promise it will work for anyone else. But good luck.
 

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