Such a tough subject...... and a tough decision. My son with ADD (not ADHD) is now 27! (today is his BD actually). We never got him medication, one reason was that he was dealing with things ok, with help from teachers and organizational assistance tips. (big difference, of course, him "only" being ADD, no behavioral issues or hyperactivity). Diagnosed at age 8, when I took him for IQ type testing (long story), I did not even think he had ADD, but recognized it more once the idea was floated to me.
When he got to high school, things got MUCH harder for him, dealing with 8-9 different teachers. (middle school was only 2-3). He struggled, but insisted on no meds, he said he knew kids on them that were "zoned out". I explained that those kids were either on the wrong meds or at the wrong dosage (maybe), and I was not pushing meds at ALL, I just wanted him to understand what could be the reason for that.
OK. He finished high school ok, with mostly Bs. I should point out, he has high IQ and was even in a gifted program when he was younger....... he decided against college. He went into construction, which was fine of course, DH is a union carpenter too. But, he began to struggle remembering all the instructions, the safety rules, etc. He went onto medication at around age 23. It has helped him quite a bit, he is less stressed, and he feels more "normal", his words.
Sometimes, I wonder how things would have gone, if we had medicated him. I have no REAL anxiety over that, I just have to wonder, looking back. He is doing alright, but he is not completely excited about his career path, for various reasons, but he is a happy productive person, lives with his gf, many friends, etc. I guess all in all, it was the right decision for him. Sorry for rambling, lol.