7 yr old girl on angel tree. Need present ideas

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by Grumpy's Gal, Nov 2, 2018.

  1. barkley

    barkley DIS Veteran<br><font color=orange>If I ever have a

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    and this is why many agencies make up fictitious names with fictitious wish lists for their 'trees'. that was the way the nationwide charitable organization that served the foster care community i supervised in did it every year. it's against the law to provide ANYONE (even a charity) with so much as the first name of a foster child so it would be a list w/ genders and ages that we hoped to have served. the volunteers would make up names and do their best to come up with gifts for the 'wish lists' that were popular with that gender/age. when the donations came in everything was attempted to be divided up somewhat evenly among the kids (that's why allot of organizations want items unwrapped). i even knew of higher end items (gaming systems, expensive clothing and such) being taken to obliging retailers who would exchange them for their cash value in other lower priced items so that a greater number could be purchased and more kids could be served.
     
  2. Southernmiss

    Southernmiss I am hazed everyday

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    Exactly. I think of it like my own family.

    If my child asked for 2 common affordable items for Christmas, I would not then ask what others would get a person of that age. Unless I needed fill in items.

    The joy people have in receiving exactly what they want is part of the gifting experience.
     
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  4. ronandannette

    ronandannette I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!

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    :thumbsup2 This makes A LOT of sense. :scratchin It's a little sad though for the generous souls who are putting time and care into choosing just the right thing to bless what turns out to be an imaginary child.

    Do you know if your agency (or any other) tried just soliciting donated items without the "child" involved? Would that result in fewer donations without the emotions of the givers being engaged? Personally we do all of our "Secret Santa" giving through our church so we do have some very specific information about the exact kind of gifts that are wanted, but on the local charity Wish Trees (or whatever) I only remember seeing very generic tags that specify boy-or-girl and the age.
     
  5. disneychrista

    disneychrista DIS Veteran

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    One year when my ex was “away” my kids got gift from “him” through a charity. They actually called and asked what they liked and that is the type of gifts they got. It was very weird to me.
     
  6. tarheelmjfan

    tarheelmjfan Proud Redhead

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    It sounds like that organization would be better off just asking for charitable donations to buy the gifts they want & not lead people to believe they're buying for a specific child. There's nothing personal about including age, sex & what the child wants. A name isn't necessary. Why even ask a child what they want, if you're not going to follow their list? That's just setting the child up for disappointment. Obviously, if the child asks for a ridiculous amount of stuff, you can't buy all of it. IMO, it's better to buy what you can from the list than spend money on things the child didn't ask for.
     
  7. barkley

    barkley DIS Veteran<br><font color=orange>If I ever have a

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    and that's the thing-not all kids will be served so why even set up a situation where you ask kids (in my personal experience-foster kids who already have a whole lot of mental baggage with unfulfilled basic needs) to write up some kind of wish list when there's no guarantee that their little paper ornament is going to get pulled off some mall tree.

    the organization DID try doing straight forward requests for charitable donations but to be brutally honest-the average person wants some kind of emotional investment in their charitable works. they may not realize it but they are much more invested in fulfilling 'suzie, age 6's wish list' for a 'baby alive, legos, a pair of minnie mouse jammies and an incredibles backpack' vs. being asked to swipe their debit card and donate $75 so the charity can spread the wealth and get 'suzie' one of the items she would enjoy AS WELL AS gift 5 or 6 other kids with the only one gift they are likely to receive.

    we saw the same with food drives-ask for food and get a million cans of pumpkin and other odds and ends, say that a family of 4 needs 'thanksgiving dinner' and get every ingredient for a norman rockwellian occasion.
     
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  8. tarheelmjfan

    tarheelmjfan Proud Redhead

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    I can understand both of those situations, but I don't think it's right to mislead people. Be upfront about what you need to fulfill the kids' wishes or just ask for money. I really doubt most people would be okay with donating an item for a child that was going to be returned to get the money. Most people would much rather you ask for cash, if you're going to return their gifts. TBH, if I found out a charity was attempting to deceive me, I would support a different charity. Things like this are the reason people are hesitant to support charities. We all want people to be honest about where our money is going.
     
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  9. luvsJack

    luvsJack DIS Veteran

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    Honestly, I see the problem partly in the people doing the giving. They go to a tree, they see the hundreds of angels there. They pick one and buy a $600 game system? Why? Why would you not pick 2 names and spend $300 or 3 and spend $200 or 6 and spend $100. Whom exactly are they trying to impress? And then you have a child with a game system that requires $60-80 games to play it and no money to afford said games. How exactly are they going to get the games?

    I was late delivering my gifts one year and had to take them to the place where they distribute the gifts. The sheer number of high dollar gifts blew my mind. I talked to the lady there a bit. She said they would probably return or trade in the game systems. Bikes they liked because Walmart would also donate a big number and that some years every kid on the list get a bike.
     
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  10. Hikergirl

    Hikergirl DIS Veteran

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    Maybe those people figure that since they can afford it why not?
    Maybe they figure that if they take 2 inexpensive gifts off the tree, the requests for the expensive ones won't be picked by anyone leaving those children with nothing.
    Maybe they just think they are doing something good for a child.

    I've known a few people who have gotten help from charities at Christmas time, and they weren't so poor that they couldn't provide things for their kids as well. Giving a game system doesn't necessarily mean that a child would never be able to use it because they could never get any games for it. Not every gift giving charity is helping just the people who can't afford basics, some just help low income families that could use a little extra help around the holidays.
     
  11. tinkerbellandeeyor

    tinkerbellandeeyor DIS Veteran

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    I remember being one of the last ones last year and one was for a gift card I could not even afford to buy
     
  12. bobbiwoz

    bobbiwoz I'm happy to dance with you!

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    I call recipients asking about gifts for families. Our organization has $30 limit on an individual gift. The parent gets to name two gifts for each child. If a coat is asked for, that request goes to a member in charge of buying coats and the child gets the coat before Christmas and that is not counted as a gift. The list we call is a compilation of families our organization has helped in the calendar year. My first question is always “Would you like your family to be included in the ___________________project this year.” Sometimes I have received an answe like “ No thank you. We appreciate the help you gave us, but we are doing much better. Please give to a family who needs it.”

    Each adult gets two $30 gift cards, usually from Wal Mart or Kroger’s.

    Some people in our organization adopt the whole family for Christmas. The above requirements, two gifts per child, two $30 gift cards for each adult are the minimum requirements if you adopt a family.

    We do not use Names, but numbers like 4-#2. That represents the fourth family on the list, the second person in that family. These are real people. When we are asking for people in nursing homes, the request is generic, a woman slippers size Medium , and the donor knows it will be distributed, but not to a specific person.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2018
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  13. luvsJack

    luvsJack DIS Veteran

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    But my point is that as the person giving, you don’t know if they can or they can’t afford the games. Those things are expensive. And it’s a consideration that should be made.

    Honestly I have never seen a request for an Xbox on an Angel tree. But I have seen them purchased. I don’t doubt that the giver thinks they can so they should. But why not spread the generosity out a little so all the angels are chosen?

    $600 is an expensive gift. Choosing two and spending $300 on two isn’t exactly “inexpensive”.
     
  14. clori

    clori DIS Veteran

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    We give items to a group that works with low income and homeless families. They have unwrapped gifts divided into approximate age, gender and clothes size etc. They work with parents for a ride if needed when kids are in school to bring parents to pick out gifts they know there kids will like or need. They get to pick a mix of clothes and toys (or for teens make up kits, gift cards etc). The gifts are then wrapped and either given to the parent to take home or arrangements made for delivery at a later date. The rules may change from year to year but parents are encouraged to take some outfits, new socks, underwear etc and 5-10 other gifts. I never asked but it sounds like more toys may be given to a parent choosing say a $3.00 matchbox car then one choosing a more expensive option.

    'For the past few years as part of girl scouts my daughters have been involved with taking donations and helping to sort them out. The troop donates some money to help buy gifts that the group might know there is a need for and girls bring in new items to donate if they can. The gs leaders often talk to the program ahead of time and give us an idea what age/gender they need the most and it is always for teens so that tends to be my focus. I've never noticed things like an xbox there or games for it but I've seen gamestop gift cards. Some people do donate batteries which staff give out extra of depending on what is selected and size needed but those aren't usually wrapped.
     
  15. Oliviaxxx

    Oliviaxxx Mouseketeer

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    Hi. I was just wondering where you got your "angel tree" match. Is it through an organization you know? Would love to shop for a child personally. Every year I donate stuff but I think it could be fun to get a specific catergory to shop for ex. "girl 9 yeas old". Thanks
     
  16. Colleen27

    Colleen27 DIS Veteran

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    A super-soft fuzzy blanket (Justice has adorable ones if you want to pick out a matching blanket-and-pjs set). LOL Surprise dolls. Craft kits, especially the wearable ones. Early chapter books about female role models/leaders. Fancy pens (like InkJoy) and an 'adult' coloring book with fanciful designs.

    That's such a great age to shop for because most of what they want is relatively inexpensive and still so fun to pick out.
     
  17. Hikergirl

    Hikergirl DIS Veteran

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    Are you really complaining about the charity someone else gives, or should I say how you feel what they choose to give isn't right or good enough for you. Unbelievable.
     
  18. luvsJack

    luvsJack DIS Veteran

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    I didn’t say it’s not good enough. Not what I said at all. That people do this at all is wonderful.

    But we have already been told here and I was told in person that so many times those game systems are taken back anyway.

    Others said that it wasn’t right for them to do this. So should they give the purchased game system and allow another child to be left out?

    You brought up the option of choosing a child with a cheaper list and the ones with more expensive lists may get left out, I was responding to you, not saying anything anyone does is not good enough.
     
  19. moon

    moon DIS Veteran

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    A few years ago I learned a lesson about buying gifts for the Angel Tree. I picked out a little boy, and bought what I thought were great gifts. I mostly remember a big fire truck with all the bells and whistles. so I drop off the toys, and a bag of batteries. The lady at the table sighs and says "Good thing you bought batteries. Batteries are so expensive". I felt awful and stupid for not thinking that the toys would be useless once the batherries i included ran out.

    From then on, no more batteries-operated toys from me!
     
  20. sksjasams

    sksjasams DIS Veteran

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    @Grumpy's Gal Not sure if you have been able to figure out if she wants Baby Secrets or Baby Alive, but Target has Baby Alive stuff 30% off as a cartwheel deal today only.
     
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  21. BLAZEY

    BLAZEY DIS Veteran

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    I volunteered for one of these type of charities working in the office /warehouse. First the families receiving hampers have to sign up to do so. There IS a master file with the actual names and ages of the children only a handful of people have access to. Second the names on the trees ARE CODED but the age, gender and gift requests are real. It is very generous of those who DO buy extra but don't be shocked when I tell you all of your EXTRAS don't alway go to that specific child. If we have a family of 3 kids and one kid hits the donor jackpot with a very generous soul, some of the extra gifts may make there way to another child who doesn't get picked or whose gift was the very minimum. The do try to even it out especially between kids in the same household. So if you buy everything "Sally" wants plus a bunch of extras, Sally may get 1 or two of the smaller extras( in addition to her actual requested items) but the rest may go to "Amy" another girl about the same age who got a dollar store version barbie doll returned as her gift. Just because I tell you this PLEASE DO NOT THINK your generosity is Unwanted. The exact opposite! Your giving nature helped not only "Sally" the angel you picked, but "Amy" also had a happier Christmas because of you!
     
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