2019 Disney Cruises, Pregnancy and Zika concerns

[Kate_45]

I really feel for you guys. Sounds like you've done the right thing and I find the response very strange. The timing of a child is something that has repercussions forever, and it's not just a few months they're asking you to be flexible with either.

Can you keep pushing for European cruises? That would be a suitably special way to celebrate a 50th anniversary and you could do a 7 day. Otherwise, I guess every time they point out how special it is and how they want everyone together, just counter it with how much you want to be there and suggest another Zika free destination until they get the message that going to a zika destination is not an option for your family for the next few years. There are a lot of amazing places that don't have zika. If they're set on cruises, maybe different lines? If they're set on Disney, maybe one of the dvc properties like in Hawaii? If they just want something spectacular to bring everyone together and celebrate then maybe try airbnb for private island rentals or castles (you might find fewer of those your neck of the wood though...).

 

[jplee3]

My heart breaks for you and I'm sorry to hear your parents are putting this all on you. It seems there are choices they could make to accommodate you (like another destination) but are unwilling, yet they expect you to make a life decision that impacts your family for them. All you're asking is choose another location or count you out. And the other couple at church is NOT a reason for you to put off having another child.

I'm not trying to insult your parents, so I hope you don't take it that way. Each of us has different family dynamics. But I know my parents would have welcomed another grandchild 10 times over before prioritizing a vacation. That said, maybe you need to promise to visit more often. Sorry, but you're in the same state. I'm a 2 day drive away from my parents (or fly 3 expensive hours), so I'm a little jealous of being that close.

Good luck. I wish you the best in this tough decision.

Honestly, I can see both sides of this.
If they truly have been planning this since 2017, and are just now being told of a potential problem, I can see how they would be upset and disappointed and see you asking them to change plans to accommodate just your family as selfish, and how it would be difficult for them to consider changing if this is the trip that has been built up in their heads for years and what everyone else has been planning for/ anticipating too.

I can also see how you would think that it isn't reasonable for you to base your family planning decisions on one vacation, and that changing destinations to accommodate your pregnancy should be reasonable.

I don't think them guilt tripping you into compliance is right however. You have to do what is best for your own family, and if having another child right now is that decision, they don't have to LIKE that you are choosing that over the cruise, but they should at least respect your decision and not put a guild trip on you.

Maybe talk to them and see if they would be OK going somewhere else instead? Alaska is lovely. Personally I prefer Alaska over the Caribbean.

If I went while pregnant I would probably just stay on the ship while in the ports. Seems like you would be much less likely to encounter mosquitoes on the ship.

We usually go up at least twice a year and we drive (it's a 6-7 hour drive minimum - CA is a huge state. A 6-7 hour drive east from here could easily get you to Arizona or Nevada)... normally for Thanksgiving and Christmas at least. Then they'll drive down to visit us maybe 1-2 times a year as well. It's not easy with two LOs and that long of a drive. Flying is another story - sure, it's shorter, but with all the gear, the kids and crying and the cost of tickets now that one is over 2, it adds up :T

The thing is, regarding them "just now being told" I suppose we could have been more up-front with them about wanting another kid but at the same time we feel like there's this double-standard where they also don't want us to have any more kids or frown upon it because it's "too hard" - something being "too hard" isn't going to dissuade us from doing it though, and I wouldn't advise anyone live their life out of fear. So in a sense, we were avoiding telling them because we ourselves also aren't exactly sure *when* we may want to try for another. There are a number of dynamics here at work either way that would have potentially complicated things even more (really, there could have been greater risk of informing them sooner, where my parents would have put even MORE pressure on us NOT to try for another kid).

My wife did mention being OK with staying on the ship if she is pregnant in the case that we go to a Zika-infested area.

In any case, they are now open to the idea of potentially going on the 5-day Bahamian cruise option PENDING the other family's approval LOL! I still have some slight concerns over being in the Orlando/Port Canaveral area for a few days (as we would just extend the vacation by staying longer on land in those areas), so if anyone has any information on Zika news in Florida, I'd appreciate hearing it. From what I've seen, it looks like it's a very low threat though.

 

[FireflyTrance]

In any case, they are now open to the idea of potentially going on the 5-day Bahamian cruise option PENDING the other family's approval LOL! I still have some slight concerns over being in the Orlando/Port Canaveral area for a few days (as we would just extend the vacation by staying longer on land in those areas), so if anyone has any information on Zika news in Florida, I'd appreciate hearing it. From what I've seen, it looks like it's a very low threat though.

As far as I know, Zika was never a concern in Orlando. I just went to WDW last month while pregnant and had looked it up previously. There was a warning in South Florida, but that was removed last year. The risk of getting Zika anywhere in the state is extremely low.

I also live in CA (Northern) and know what you mean about the extremely long drives. Whenever we are going to SoCal it's a big debate if we should drive or fly

 

[gotomu212]

I cruised while pregnant last December (2016) on a western itinerary. I discussed with my doctor and she recommended I stay on board in Mexico and Jamaica. I was fine at Castaway (although I still loaded up with mosquito repellent and stayed away from the bike path). My husband and older son went and did port excursions in those spots while I stayed on board and relaxed- which was really a win win because I was so tired at that stage that getting a massage was a billion times more fun). I also took a Zika test when I got back more for my own peace of mind.

It’s really something to talk to her OB about and to reassess a little closer since Zika zones have dramatically changed in the last 2 years and it could even be eradicated from swaths of the Caribbean by 2019. Plus you’re looking at a somewhat small window between right before conceiving and when you can cruise pregnant so there might not be the overlap you think (AND if you haven’t yet conceived they can test both you and your spouse after you return to see if you have been infected before you tr again.

If all else fails staying on board is an option that worked well for us.

I think your bigger issue is going to be coordinating a potential pregnancy pre 24 weeks and the 6 months after the baby is born. It almost knocks out a whole year of cruise travel.

 

[jplee3]

I really feel for you guys. Sounds like you've done the right thing and I find the response very strange. The timing of a child is something that has repercussions forever, and it's not just a few months they're asking you to be flexible with either.

Can you keep pushing for European cruises? That would be a suitably special way to celebrate a 50th anniversary and you could do a 7 day. Otherwise, I guess every time they point out how special it is and how they want everyone together, just counter it with how much you want to be there and suggest another Zika free destination until they get the message that going to a zika destination is not an option for your family for the next few years. There are a lot of amazing places that don't have zika. If they're set on cruises, maybe different lines? If they're set on Disney, maybe one of the dvc properties like in Hawaii? If they just want something spectacular to bring everyone together and celebrate then maybe try airbnb for private island rentals or castles (you might find fewer of those your neck of the wood though...).

The thought of doing a Europe cruise is great, except the part where we would have to fly with our two LOs and figure out the car/seating situations, etc. Last cruise we did was Royal Caribbean in Alaska and my parents really want a Disney cruise again (we've done two, one in 2011 to the Mexican Riviera and one in 2014 to the Western Caribbean). They're still sort of trying to 'cater' to hooking up with that other family, who seem hard set on the 6/15 Eastern Caribbean cruise, despite one of my brothers and my dad not being too ecstatic about those ports...

As far as I know, Zika was never a concern in Orlando. I just went to WDW last month while pregnant and had looked it up previously. There was a warning in South Florida, but that was removed last year. The risk of getting Zika anywhere in the state is extremely low.

I also live in CA (Northern) and know what you mean about the extremely long drives. Whenever we are going to SoCal it's a big debate if we should drive or fly

Thanks! Yea, I saw that with Florida on the CDC as well - I'm guessing it should be fine. But we'll definitely load up on DEET or some sort of repellant.

I cruised while pregnant last December (2016) on a western itinerary. I discussed with my doctor and she recommended I stay on board in Mexico and Jamaica. I was fine at Castaway (although I still loaded up with mosquito repellent and stayed away from the bike path). My husband and older son went and did port excursions in those spots while I stayed on board and relaxed- which was really a win win because I was so tired at that stage that getting a massage was a billion times more fun). I also took a Zika test when I got back more for my own peace of mind.

It’s really something to talk to her OB about and to reassess a little closer since Zika zones have dramatically changed in the last 2 years and it could even be eradicated from swaths of the Caribbean by 2019. Plus you’re looking at a somewhat small window between right before conceiving and when you can cruise pregnant so there might not be the overlap you think (AND if you haven’t yet conceived they can test both you and your spouse after you return to see if you have been infected before you tr again.

If all else fails staying on board is an option that worked well for us.

I think your bigger issue is going to be coordinating a potential pregnancy pre 24 weeks and the 6 months after the baby is born. It almost knocks out a whole year of cruise travel.

Yea, the timing with the pre-24 weeks (6 mos?) is tricky. We'd basically have to start trying in Jan 2019 in my estimation... even with all this, because my parents really want June 2019, we are still constrained to essentially not getting pregnant between next month and Jan 2019 because if we had a baby it would probably not be 6 months OR my wife would be further along than 24 weeks.

 

[FigmentSpark]

Wow. This other couple must be important to your parents.

And you don't owe your family any notice that you're trying for another child. What if it doesn't happen? That's between the two of you, but now, you will have to deal with their opinions, as well.

Sorry, again. I know you love your parents, so your dilemma is from a place of love and wanting to please them, as well as build your own life and family.

 

[LMA712014]

I’m not a huge contribution on the cruise front, but I can relate majorly on the ‘are we going to become outnumbered, and if so when’ debate. We found out last October we were expecting number 3 and got many surprised responses from family that we had ‘decided’ to have another.

I hope you all come to a solution! And I agree with previous posters about needing to do what’s best for your family in regards to timing and dynamic.

 

[jplee3]

Wow. This other couple must be important to your parents.

And you don't owe your family any notice that you're trying for another child. What if it doesn't happen? That's between the two of you, but now, you will have to deal with their opinions, as well.

Sorry, again. I know you love your parents, so your dilemma is from a place of love and wanting to please them, as well as build your own life and family.

My brother questioned them multiple times about why they're so insistent and never would get a good explanation. I guess the 50th anniversary is a huge thing? I don't know... anyway, it seems now they're playing this passive aggressive game: "fine you guys choose which cruise you want to go on" - obviously the 5-day is preferable but we feel like they'll be holding this whole thing over our heads.

I’m not a huge contribution on the cruise front, but I can relate majorly on the ‘are we going to become outnumbered, and if so when’ debate. We found out last October we were expecting number 3 and got many surprised responses from family that we had ‘decided’ to have another.

I hope you all come to a solution! And I agree with previous posters about needing to do what’s best for your family in regards to timing and dynamic.

Thanks, this is turning into a headache

 

[jplee3]

What's the story on cancellations/rebookings? Would you definitely want to buy insurance for this purpose?

 

[Kate_45]

The thought of doing a Europe cruise is great, except the part where we would have to fly with our two LOs and figure out the car/seating situations, etc.

Aw, the flights aren't too bad (or at least you forget about them quickly afterwards) and you can hire car seats along with a car or just use public transport. But looks like you've found a 5 night cruise that could work, which is great.

 

[xavier2001]

I have never seen a mosquito aboard a cruise ship, if she was pregnant would it be feasible to go on the cruise but not get off in any of the ports with the Zika warning. Seems a bit over the top to alter the entire make up of your family over a cruise. Also you can always book it, starting trying for that baby and leave it to the universe. You can cancel up until 90 days before, 2019 is a long way away.

 

[jplee3]

I forgot mention a big part of why there's this apparently struggle for controlling our calendar - they are paying for our trip (minus gratuities of course). So I think they have that leverage on us. It's hard because a precedent has already been set where they've paid for my brothers' families and us on the past few cruises we've gone on. While we are grateful for their generosity towards us, it still makes things quite difficult in this situation to say "no"

My mom finally chimed back in again and is trying to hold fast to her desire that we stick with their original plan (which in essence would be joining with the other family) and foregoing/delaying whatever plans we would have - out of her "experience and wisdom" she recommends that we wait to have another kid anyway... sigh

 

[xavier2001]

If they are paying then I think your options are less. Go with what they are offering or stay home. Again I'd probably go and if pregnant have your wife stay on the ship or stay home solo while you go. Tough choices but best you can do in this situation.

I forgot mention a big part of why there's this apparently struggle for controlling our calendar - they are paying for our trip (minus gratuities of course). So I think they have that leverage on us. It's hard because a precedent has already been set where they've paid for my brothers' families and us on the past few cruises we've gone on. While we are grateful for their generosity towards us, it still makes things quite difficult in this situation to say "no"

My mom finally chimed back in again and is trying to hold fast to her desire that we stick with their original plan (which in essence would be joining with the other family) and foregoing/delaying whatever plans we would have - out of her "experience and wisdom" she recommends that we wait to have another kid anyway... sigh

 

[jplee3]

Just thinking out loud here: Our kids are currently 2.5 and one 1, if we were to potentially wait until *after* visiting a Zika-affected region in June 2019, this would mean 6 months + X months to conceive + roughly 9 more months to birth... that's at least 15-16 months (over a year) beyond 6/19, which is late 2020 or early 2021. Our son would likely be between 5-6years old and our daughter between 3-4 years by the time the next one comes.

If we tried to conceive *now* or starting in Jan '19, the age gap would be smaller (3-4yrs between our son/2-3 years between our daughter and the potential next one).

Essentially, delaying the next kid pushes the age gap up and additional two years. My brother and I are 6 years apart and we have a weird relationship... it's not bad, but I wouldn't necessarily call it close. Of course, as many of you can already tell, my family dynamics probably sound weird. I'm sure siblings can be close regardless of their age, but I feel like it's more common to see siblings closer in age end up closer to each other relationally, and I think this is what we ultimately want too. I don't feel like we need to explain this to my parents even if they wanted some sort of explanation as to why we want to have so many kids so fast.

My wife and I are also of the mentality of wanting our kids closer in age and 'churning' them out sooner than later haha. The other side of that is that neither of us are getting any younger (I'm currently 37 and she's 32 - I don't like the idea of waiting and delaying for the sake of someone else's vacation preferences and allowing 2-3 years to pass before having one more kid).

 

[jplee3]

If they are paying then I think your options are less. Go with what they are offering or stay home. Again I'd probably go and if pregnant have your wife stay on the ship or stay home solo while you go. Tough choices but best you can do in this situation.

Yea, that makes sense. My brother was saying just have them plan it but just to be ready to cancel in case something comes up. 90 days out it's $100, so we would just end up paying that if we have to cancel for whatever reason. Both my wife's OBGYN and our kid's pediatrician have already recommended *not* going while she's pregnant even if she stays on the ship the entire time, just because they don't have control over what might happen or if somehow mosquitos come onto the ship etc... I think it's probably more of them not wanting to be held liable e.g. "but you told me it was OK to travel there!" in case something happens.

My mom is 'advising' us to completely just put it off and wait (implying we should wait 6 months after) until trying for the third. I'd rather just go while we're pregnant and have her stay on the ship, but now that two doctors have advised her not to I'm pretty sure she won't be comfortable doing that.

 

[xavier2001]

My mom is 'advising' us to completely just put it off and wait (implying we should wait 6 months after) until trying for the third. I'd rather just go while we're pregnant and have her stay on the ship, but now that two doctors have advised her not to I'm pretty sure she won't be comfortable doing that.

The good thing is Mom's advice is just that an no one says you have to listen. Have fun!

 

[gotomu212]

Yea, the timing with the pre-24 weeks (6 mos?) is tricky. We'd basically have to start trying in Jan 2019 in my estimation... even with all this, because my parents really want June 2019, we are still constrained to essentially not getting pregnant between next month and Jan 2019 because if we had a baby it would probably not be 6 months OR my wife would be further along than 24 weeks.

Just to clarify you aren’t suppose to cruise on Disney after you’ve ENTERED your 24th week- so your actually suppose to be 23 weeks or less. That pretty much means you can’t depart after 22 weeks for anything 6 days or longer. (22 weeks is right about the end of your 4th month typically so depending on cruise date you’re pushing it back to Feb 2019).

Honestly cruising anywhere means you have to delay for another year (to meet the 6 month old sailing age). If you really want another child and want them close in age delaying a whole year to accommodate a vacation seems like a big sacrifice unless you were already planning to wait a year- especially since there’s no guarantee you’ll get pregnant right away. It seems like working around baby’s age to cruise is a bigger roadblock than Zika.

(The only reason I know all of this is because I did sail last year while pregnant and then we sailed again this December 2 days after our daughter turned 6-months so I was up on all the pregnancy cruise dates, Zika, and baby age requirements).

 

[jplee3]

Just to clarify you aren’t suppose to cruise on Disney after you’ve ENTERED your 24th week- so your actually suppose to be 23 weeks or less. That pretty much means you can’t depart after 22 weeks for anything 6 days or longer. (22 weeks is right about the end of your 4th month typically so depending on cruise date you’re pushing it back to Feb 2019).

Honestly cruising anywhere means you have to delay for another year (to meet the 6 month old sailing age). If you really want another child and want them close in age delaying a whole year to accommodate a vacation seems like a big sacrifice unless you were already planning to wait a year- especially since there’s no guarantee you’ll get pregnant right away. It seems like working around baby’s age to cruise is a bigger roadblock than Zika.

(The only reason I know all of this is because I did sail last year while pregnant and then we sailed again this December 2 days after our daughter turned 6-months so I was up on all the pregnancy cruise dates, Zika, and baby age requirements).

Thanks... so what I'm going to do is tell them just to book it. We will keep an eye on the Zika advisory and if it is still in effect by the time 4 months from the cruise rolls around, we will cancel. It's going to cost us $100 from what I understand (assuming we cancel over 90 days out) but for the peace of mind of initially 'satisfying' my parents' request it's worth it at this point. I'm going to make it very clear and level-set with them though that there is a very real chance we will cancel, and that they need to be OK with it. Else, if they're not OK, then don't bother booking us for this trip.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Thanks... so what I'm going to do is tell them just to book it. We will keep an eye on the Zika advisory and if it is still in effect by the time 4 months from the cruise rolls around, we will cancel. It's going to cost us $100 from what I understand (assuming we cancel over 90 days out) but for the peace of mind of initially 'satisfying' my parents' request it's worth it at this point. I'm going to make it very clear and level-set with them though that there is a very real chance we will cancel, and that they need to be OK with it. Else, if they're not OK, then don't bother booking us for this trip.

Why is it going to cost you $100 if you cancel before the Paid In Full date? Typically deposits are fully refundable up until that date. Unless you're booking a Concierge room, those deposits are non-refundable. And they're usually more than $100.

 

[hrhdhd]

I am reminded why I don't travel with family.

I also don't have children--but if I wanted them, I would not let someone else's vacation plans influence my family planning.