So I used to be a frequent poster but now I m a only lurk as I have no fun upcoming vacations coming up. So I have as problem that I would like advice on and don't want to put it out in Facebook land. My mom has a chronic debilitating disease that she has h a d for 30+ years. She has, as of the last 5 years or so, used marijuana to ease her pain. I don't agree but I'm also not her and don't argue or speak to her about it. Full disclosure, I've never tried marijuana. But her life, whatever she feels works for her. We do not live in a legal state. Tonite my daughter who is 11 went over for a sleepover, it was so fragrant in the air that she was going on and on about the door. She is naive right now but will very soon figure out what the smell is and I don't want to explain that it's ok for grandma but not for other people. I want to tell my mom that if the kids will be over to refrain from smoking but she is over the top emotional. My reasoning is her decision making as abilities are not going to be good and my kids need to be safe. But, on the other hand, if she were on pain meds , it may be the same problem so that's probably not a valid argument. I just am looking for opinions, am I over reacting? What would you do? Thanks for reading. By the way, my mom and I are very close but she doesn't respond well to any criticism and cries very easily. I know this is long, thanks again for responding.
Marijuana and kids
- Thread starter mya1k9
- Start date
Disneylover99
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2012
I would explain to your daughter what the smell is and why your mother uses it.
I would tell you mom no weed when the kids are sleeping over.
You are putting your kids at great risk for them to be with her when she is using an illegal substance.
Thank you for your response. That is not an option, unfortunately. My daughter is a very much by the rules kind of kid, as my husband is. He doesn't know and if he found out, he would forbid them to go over there. A secret like that would be to much for an 11 year old to bear. Also, it's not legal here, and my rule following daughter would not see the grey, only the black and white.
I agree with that, but is it really any different than if she's taking vicodin or whatever pain killer. I don't know if that is a good enough argument
mombrontrent
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2008
I would explain to your daughter the reason your mother used it. I would be fine letting an 11 year old over but maybe ask if your mom could smoke it outside or in the garage or something while your daughter was there. I would not be concerned with the safety of the kids, it’s weed, even alcohol would be worse.
Disneylover99
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2012
Personally, I would not allow my daughter to sleep over there, but I would be upfront with my husband and daughter about it.
firefly_ris
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2015
Will she only smoke it? As in, what about consumables or oil... no odor. Can take it like any regular med in her bathroom, close the medicine cabinet and be done.
Does she have a prescription for medical marijuana or is she buying it illegally? I had a family member who used medical marijuana and I had no problem with it. If it isn't being done legally I would want her to refrain around the kids even if that meant no sleepovers.
kimblebee
now my thoughts will be worth 5 cents
- Joined
- May 28, 2009
Not picking on you but why? Weed doesn’t turn you into a psycho when you’re high. Would you also ban your child from being somewhere where people are drinking?
kimblebee
now my thoughts will be worth 5 cents
- Joined
- May 28, 2009
Maybe talk to your mom about getting some edibles or something. I’m sure there’s a place online that would deliver to her.
I should be clear, she never smokes when the kids are there. It's before, the smell lingers. She is housebound, really can't get outside easily and winters are brutal. I'm more worried about what's going to happen when she figures it out
Not in my state. It's not legal here.
I know you were quoting someone else, but I think I'm more concerned about them figuring it out and telling their dad. He would make things awful and tear our family apart. He is inflexible and by the books accountant.
TipsyTraveler
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2014
I am a hundred percent in support of legalizing marijuana for recreational purposes and especially for medical reasons, as it truly can improve people's quality of life.
That said, you are absolutely right to be concerned for your child if you believe she's under the care of an impaired adult, and it wouldn't matter if that impairment was caused by legal prescription drugs -- you'd still be right to keep your child out of that environment. Add in the illegal aspect of it in your state and that adds another layer of concern. My niece accidentally wandered into a SWAT raid of the neighbor's house when she was eight and it scared the living daylights out of her. It's understandable you wouldn't want to risk your kid getting caught up in that kind of thing, no matter how slim the odds.
Drugs and alcohol affect people in different ways. Not everyone is going to be stoned after small to moderate weed use, but if you're concerned about your mother's level of impairment then yes, you are right to keep your daughter away from it. Her safety is your first priority.
And your mother's emotions -- and her inability to handle them -- are her problem.
That said, you are absolutely right to be concerned for your child if you believe she's under the care of an impaired adult, and it wouldn't matter if that impairment was caused by legal prescription drugs -- you'd still be right to keep your child out of that environment. Add in the illegal aspect of it in your state and that adds another layer of concern. My niece accidentally wandered into a SWAT raid of the neighbor's house when she was eight and it scared the living daylights out of her. It's understandable you wouldn't want to risk your kid getting caught up in that kind of thing, no matter how slim the odds.
Drugs and alcohol affect people in different ways. Not everyone is going to be stoned after small to moderate weed use, but if you're concerned about your mother's level of impairment then yes, you are right to keep your daughter away from it. Her safety is your first priority.
And your mother's emotions -- and her inability to handle them -- are her problem.
Last edited:
kimblebee
now my thoughts will be worth 5 cents
- Joined
- May 28, 2009
Wel, then, I hope none of you end up in your moms position and have to look for alternate pain relief.
I say have some sympathy. Weed is not the evil, life ruining thing that it was once portrayed to be.
I don't think she's impaired , she's certainly happier. My dad doesn't touch it. And quoting a different poster, I don't think weed is evil, if she needs it , it's her life, I just want to shield my daughter from her grandma's activities, until she can understand it better.
Disneylover99
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2012
It's not legal (yet) where I live. But my kids are also rule followers and it's not something I want to encourage. But it's not something I'd hide from them either. If you 're comparing it to drinking this is how I look at it......if my mom was drinking before my daughter came over to ease her pain, then no, I would not send her over to spend the night.
Hikergirl
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2016
So your mom has been smoking for 5 years and your dh has no idea? I'm going to assume that your dd has been in her care more than this one time in the last 5 years, what happens when your dh finds out this has been going on?
If it were me, I'd be upfront and honest with both your dh and your dd. At some point your dd is going to figure it out, she's 11, and IMO that is old enough to not be shielded from the truth of why your mom is smoking it. Isn't she in middle school, haven't they talked about drugs by this point? If you don't explain to her why, and she finds out on her own what is she going to think, is she going to think Grandma is a junkie? would you want that, or would you want your dd to know that your mom has a valid reason for doing it, and explain the legalities of it as medical marijuana, even though it isn't where you are, etc.
If it were me, I'd be upfront and honest with both your dh and your dd. At some point your dd is going to figure it out, she's 11, and IMO that is old enough to not be shielded from the truth of why your mom is smoking it. Isn't she in middle school, haven't they talked about drugs by this point? If you don't explain to her why, and she finds out on her own what is she going to think, is she going to think Grandma is a junkie? would you want that, or would you want your dd to know that your mom has a valid reason for doing it, and explain the legalities of it as medical marijuana, even though it isn't where you are, etc.
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