IMHO ‘owes’ has nothing to with it. That implies paying a debt when I for one am talking about extending a courtesy. If to an individual this courtesy feels like something they owe then maybe the original purpose has been lost.
What’s wrong with this school group?
- Thread starter Yarbogash
- Start date
IMHO ‘owes’ has nothing to with it. That implies paying a debt when I for one am talking about extending a courtesy. If to an individual this courtesy feels like something they owe then maybe the original purpose has been lost.
Great post.
As we are still at WDW I’ve been looking for more examples, both positive and negative, but at Dolphin we were either walking or busses were close to empty. At OKW now and had a few busses where people would choose to stand but there were a couple empty seats still. Not that this is in my mind I can’t stop taking note.
It wasn’t on a bus but it was notable at AK guest services last night I came in with the stroller to catch up with my DW and DS who were asking at the counter about her lost sunglasses (which I thought was pointless but cast member went in the back, returned with them a minute later because Disney
. So for the short bit I was there I stood off to the side and this kid maybe 10 or 11 years old on one of the full benches asks me in an English accent ‘Sir, would you like to sit down?’ And is going to get up and give me his seat.I said ‘Thank you very much but no I’m ok.
He replied something like ‘Are you sure sir?’ And I declined again. Kid looked tired and worn like I think we all were.
Very polite little guy but it did make me wonder how old or knackered I must be looking.
maxiesmom
The Mean Squinty Eye Works
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2004
I would also say expecting it instead of being touched that it is offered loses the original purpose as well.
?? I totally agree. I for one don’t expect it. I specifically mentioned earlier that I have waited for another bus when I see the bus is full and I’m needing a seat. I do that precisely because I don’t expect somebody to give up their seat for me.
Being disappointed that others are not displaying good manners (admittedly according to my own standard of what constitutes good manners) doesn’t have to come from a sense of entitlement or expectation but rather just hoping that we can have a more civil society. It’s frankly puzzling to me that others might resent this or consider it a presumption or a burden but obviously people have different pov’s on this and that doesn’t mean those different pov’s are bad. I think this has been a good discussion and a lot of good posts.
The answer to your last question is, not many, probably. At least not consciously.
But I ask you: Why does the tradition of men giving up their seats to women exist? Where did it come from? Why is it still so prevalent? I assure you it doesn’t stem from a culture where men viewed women as their equals.
Ed J
Removing my ears
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2006
There are quite a few folks in this thread that don't understand the difference between etiquette and entitlement.
Getting on a crowded bus with no seats and expctecting someone to get up for you when you could have waited for the next bus.... you suffer from a feeling of entitlement.
I have given up my seat in the past and will most likely do it again in the future, but that is my choice, always.
Edit to add.
You women need to get together and make a choice, cause you have 2 very different answers to what a guys should do on the seat question. And for this reason I believe it is proper etiquette to call you all nuts.
Getting on a crowded bus with no seats and expctecting someone to get up for you when you could have waited for the next bus.... you suffer from a feeling of entitlement.
I have given up my seat in the past and will most likely do it again in the future, but that is my choice, always.
Edit to add.
You women need to get together and make a choice, cause you have 2 very different answers to what a guys should do on the seat question. And for this reason I believe it is proper etiquette to call you all nuts
.
StageTek
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2007
I don't know. But I know it isn't prevalent. I'm just confused why being polite is considered an insult. I do know that is many cultures one offers a seat to your superior as a sign of respect. Wouldn't it be nice if women took the gesture that way?
scrapquitler
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2007
Who gets to decide who is 'in need'? On one of our trips earlier this year we were leaving the park early because DH was feeling unwell. He was dizzy and had been vomiting, so we were heading back to the room. He sat next to me on the bus, and there was a lady around our age (late 40s) who was standing right in front of him making snide comments to her companion about how it was rude that a man was not offering to give up his seat. He was ill. She couldn't tell by looking at him. Had he not been sitting, he might have passed out and fallen over on her. We both made a point to mention about him vomiting to get her to shut up. I think I said something to him like "do you want to hold the popcorn bucket in case you vomit again?" just so she would hear it.
The seats are for everyone. If someone gets a seat and they don't want to give it to someone else, they don't have to. The men or young people might be just as tired, dizzy, unwell, have a hidden medical condition or whatever. Yes, it's nice if someone gives up a seat for someone who looks like they need it imore, but it's not required.
Last edited:
NotUrsula
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2002
The same reason why, in the trains of armies, it was considered proper for women to ride while men walked, even if the horse belonged to the man. Not because women were weaker, but because riding was considered more comfortable than walking, and etiquette held that a gentleman always sees to a lady's comfort wherever possible. (Note that there was a class factor to this; poor people never had access to horses, so they all walked.)
It has never been about who is stronger and thus more capable of standing in a moving vehicle, though an enormous number of people seem to think so. It is about traditional deference to the comfort of ladies and to elders; you do it because it's polite to offer the more comfortable spot to them. (And sometimes modern understanding of safety runs afoul of this. I often see posters complain that children are sitting in seats when adults are standing, and that the kids are younger and thus more capable of dealing with the discomfort. This is traditional, but our modern understanding of physics tells us that it is dangerous. Children who are too young to sit in the front seat of a car are also too young to stand on a bus, because they don't have the height or body strength to be able to hold on to a bar properly in the event of a crash. If someone has to stand, it's going to be me &/or DH; my kid sits, because that's safer.)
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