Parenting trends you dislike?

[JBRB828]

Mom and dad‘s putting their kids on social media

 

[Sinder]

But she is not wrong. You might not agree with what she is saying, but that does not mean that she isn't technically right. You are equating your emotional beliefs to scientific fact. We FEEL that everyone should have a choice, and that is true, but I can see the other side of it where some moms might not realize that there is a nutritional difference between the 2. The fed is best movement was in response to people getting the word out to new moms that breast milk is what is best for your child. It comes from not a medical standpoint, but an emotional one. Listen, I think that babies should be fed, and if formula is the only route, it is great that we have it. But you are talking over each other on your points.

I’m saying formula isn’t harmful, and no that isn’t wrong.
If you have the medical and scientific data proving it is then please share it.


I think you are reading things that aren’t being said and trying to argue them.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

I think every parent should raise their kids to the best of their ability, not how others want them to raise them. We are all different. Different beliefs, different backgrounds and we all have a different way of life. As long as the kids and parents are living a happy and healthy life, how are we to judge them. Having said that ....... there are only 2 things that bother me.
1. Parents that do not control their kids at restaurants. Last year whale eating at LTT, a little girl was doing her Cheer jumps and chants in the restaurant. The mother was videoing her and every time she landed it was a loud "Thud". They were on the upper section so it was loud. It made for a very unenjoyable meal.
2. Leashes. Kids are not dogs. I see so many little kids on leashes and they always end up going around another person and getting tangled up. Every time I see one of the human pets, the parent holding the other end of the leash is not paying any attention to them.

 

[VandVsmama]

Re: kids on leashes -
Anybody judging parents who have their kids on leashes clearly has never had a kid who's a runner. I'm talking about the kind of kid who will full on sprint at Olympic runner speed and you will have to run at break neck speed in order to catch the kid.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

Re: kids on leashes -
Anybody judging parents who have their kids on leashes clearly has never had a kid who's a runner. I'm talking about the kind of kid who will full on sprint at Olympic runner speed and you will have to run at break neck speed in order to catch the kid.

No judgement. The thread title is about parenting trends you dislike. Anyone is allowed to dislike something without judging it.

 

[ronandannette]

I don't think that formula is harmful. It is not as beneficial, but that is not the same as harmful. We can only do so much in a lab to recreate what nature has perfected. Of course the most important thing is that the baby is fed, but they still need proper nutrients. A few years ago there was a story of an 8month old baby who's parents thought it was OK to feed him only almond milk. No breast milk or formula. The baby has scurvy from malnutrition. Proper education is key because it is easy for new, inexperienced parents to read stupid stuff on the internet and harm their kids. That is where the harm of "fed is best" can come in. Just because some of us have common sense, does not mean that everyone does.

Ah yes...tell that to the global behemoth chemical companies busy genetically modifying every food crop on Planet Earth and working to perfect lab-grown meat...but I digress.

I'm the mother of an only child; he's an adult now. I do however have a few young moms in my circle and honestly, the degree to which they feel insecure in their parenting choices is far greater than it was in my day. Many also seem to have a tendency to cope with what they perceive as their shortcomings by being critical of others. My heart aches for them. Maybe it was similar in generations past but for sure, social media has made the problem worse by putting everyone in everyone else's faces non-stop.

 

[Lilsia]

Ah yes...tell that to the global behemoth chemical companies busy genetically modifying every food crop on Planet Earth and working to perfect lab-grown meat...but I digress.

I'm the mother of an only child; he's an adult now. I do however have a few young moms in my circle and honestly, the degree to which they feel insecure in their parenting choices is far greater than it was in my day. Many also seem to have a tendency to cope with what they perceive as their shortcomings by being critical of others. My heart aches for them. Maybe it was similar in generations past but for sure, social media has made the problem worse by putting everyone in everyone else's faces non-stop.

I don't think that anyone is arguing that a baby should not be fed formula if the mom is unable to nurse, for whatever reason. We are just acknowledging the fact that there is a difference between breast milk and formula. IDK why some refuse to acknowledge this. I am not judging those who feed their baby formula at all. I knew a mom who's babies where allergic to her milk and they needed a special formula that had no dairy. It was a pain and I felt bad for her because she wanted to nurse but her husband's side had this genetic issue. Formula is great, but it is not the same as breast milk. That is all that I am saying.

 

[JLTraveling]

I don't have kids, so I don't have a horse in the race. But I'm super confused by the whole breastfeeding argument. From what those of you on the breastfeeding train are saying, formula is fine "if you can't nurse." But it's not fine if you CAN nurse? I'm sure you don't mean it this way, but it's coming across like breastfed babies are inherently superior, which would indicate that formula fed babies are the "also-ran." Either formula is fine or it isn't, but you can't really say it's fine for mothers who can't nurse but not for others. Not sure if I'm being clear, but it's really coming off as shaming those who use formula.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

But she is not wrong. You might not agree with what she is saying, but that does not mean that she isn't technically right. You are equating your emotional beliefs to scientific fact. We FEEL that everyone should have a choice, and that is true, but I can see the other side of it where some moms might not realize that there is a nutritional difference between the 2. The fed is best movement was in response to people getting the word out to new moms that breast milk is what is best for your child. It comes from not a medical standpoint, but an emotional one. Listen, I think that babies should be fed, and if formula is the only route, it is great that we have it. But you are talking over each other on your points.

What you are saying is not what the person you’re defending said. She said fed is best is dangerous. She went on to say it affects bonding and the like. That is NOT true, nor is it scientific. She was the first to put emotion into something and claim it was medical.

I agree with others that it’s probably best you stop trying to explain what she meant, since you are changing what she actually said.

 

[Lilsia]

I don't have kids, so I don't have a horse in the race. But I'm super confused by the whole breastfeeding argument. From what those of you on the breastfeeding train are saying, formula is fine "if you can't nurse." But it's not fine if you CAN nurse? I'm sure you don't mean it this way, but it's coming across like breastfed babies are inherently superior, which would indicate that formula fed babies are the "also-ran." Either formula is fine or it isn't, but you can't really say it's fine for mothers who can't nurse but not for others. Not sure if I'm being clear, but it's really coming off as shaming those who use formula.

I get what you are saying. Breastfeeding has had a complicated history. For the majority of time, that is all that babies ate. If the mom could not produce milk, they found someone who could(wet nurse). With the invention of formula, it has helped so many woman and babies but there was a time, about 50-60 years ago, where the formula companies convinced moms that formula was actually better then nursing. Why nurse, with all of it's hassle, when you can just give your baby this ready made stuff. Now, we know that breast milk is better then formula and it is highly recommended that moms nurse or pump over formula because of the nutritional benefits, especially those first few weeks. I don't see it as a judgement thing but more of a educational aspect since many new parents don't really know how they differ. And yes, you can have the stance that breast is best, and still be OK with those who use formula. I don't see it as shaming at all, but maybe because I don't think it is that big of a deal. I am more for the educational aspect that new moms should be given all of the information so that they can make informed decisions. That is all.

 

[prairie_girl]

Not so much a trend but I cringe any time a parent says ‘my house, my rules’.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

Not so much a trend but I cringe any time a parent says ‘my house, my rules’.

My mom said that lol

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'm the mother of an only child; he's an adult now. I do however have a few young moms in my circle and honestly, the degree to which they feel insecure in their parenting choices is far greater than it was in my day. Many also seem to have a tendency to cope with what they perceive as their shortcomings by being critical of others. My heart aches for them. Maybe it was similar in generations past but for sure, social media has made the problem worse by putting everyone in everyone else's faces non-stop.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. We, as a society, have come to assume a greater level of control over everything - as if every moment-to-moment decision we make has a huge impact later, and there's no such thing as "good enough". People used to support each other in muddling through what were seen as common challenges. Now, it's all about competition (and I agree with you that social media makes that waaaay worse).

 

[mjkacmom]

I get what you are saying. Breastfeeding has had a complicated history. For the majority of time, that is all that babies ate. If the mom could not produce milk, they found someone who could(wet nurse). With the invention of formula, it has helped so many woman and babies but there was a time, about 50-60 years ago, where the formula companies convinced moms that formula was actually better then nursing. Why nurse, with all of it's hassle, when you can just give your baby this ready made stuff. Now, we know that breast milk is better then formula and it is highly recommended that moms nurse or pump over formula because of the nutritional benefits, especially those first few weeks. I don't see it as a judgement thing but more of a educational aspect since many new parents don't really know how they differ. And yes, you can have the stance that breast is best, and still be OK with those who use formula. I don't see it as shaming at all, but maybe because I don't think it is that big of a deal. I am more for the educational aspect that new moms should be given all of the information so that they can make informed decisions. That is all.

As a mom of 5, trust me, there is no way a new mom has not been lectured, at great length, about the benefits of breastfeeding, for 9 months. If a woman chooses to feed her baby formula, it’s not because she is uneducated. I remember when formula was pushed over breastfeeding, it was decades ago.

 

[mrs. magoo]

I absolutely hate that children are on social media. Social Media is absolutely ruining our children and yes I am aware that I am posting to a social media site right now. My 23 year old daughter told me last night when I yelled at her to stop listening to tik tok that she physically can not stop looking at tik tok. I cringe every time I see a young child on a phone or Ipad.
We were in Disney in December and hopped into the Big Thunder Mountain railroad like knowing the wait was going to be an hour. The family in front of us played all the games we played with kids waiting in line like I spy and name that Disney song - they never took out a phone once. When we got to the front I complimented that parents. I told them it would have been so much easier to take out the phone but you guys did a great job of entertaining them and sharing some quality time.
Kids do not need to have a phone or IPad in there hands 24/7 in order to be entertained and you know what being bored it sometimes a very good thing.

 

[mrs. magoo]

As a mom of 5, trust me, there is no way a new mom has not been lectured, at great length, about the benefits of breastfeeding, for 9 months. If a woman chooses to feed her baby formula, it’s not because she is uneducated. I remember when formula was pushed over breastfeeding, it was decades ago.

I whole heartedly agree. As a mom to 4 (24 to 19 years of age now) I attempted to breastfeed all of them but it never worked out for me. The 1st was a 34 weeker and he could not figure it out. He was losing weight I was an emotional wreck and the nurse kept telling me that it would get better. When he was sent back to the NICU for possible meningitis I said enough is enough - give him bottle. I just couldn't take the pressure and the kid needed to eat. I felt so judged in that decision but it was best for us. The rest of my children got some from column A and some from column B until they were like 3 months old. They have turned out all right in my opinion.

 

[DisneyHardin]

You would be surprised at how many people don't report abuse and neglect because people like you scream at them to "not judge".

The think the backlash of the word abuse in this thread is that none of the things that people are listing here as trends they dislike are abuse. Giving a baby formula instead of breastmilk, giving a toddler a sippy cup, letting a kid play on a phone while waiting, etc are NOT abuse - they might not be "best practice", but they are far from abuse.

 

[PezRuth]

Breastfeeding and formula are not equal options, and most mothers can breastfeed. That's what I mean about "fed is best" being harmful. It's discouraging breastfeeding because it tells mothers that the options are an equal choice, when medically they are far from equal. That isn't in the best interest of the child's health.

I am sorry but I do have to chime in now on this. I understand what you are saying. Woman who use formula definitely do know the difference. But yes saying feed is best really is the most important thing here. New motherhood is already so incredibly challenging. The child's health is not the only importance here. The mother's mental health is also extremely important. With my first child, she refused to breast feed. I tried everything but she wouldn't do it. I pumped for her as long as I could. I stayed up nights to get up at 3 in the morning while everyone else slept to pump for her. My well being and mental health were seriously affected by this. Eventually I had to start supplementing. I was at a store buying formula. A complete stranger came up to me and said "Breast is best. You are poisining your baby by giving it that.". With my second child, we had some similar issues so I pumped for her for a month and then switched to formula because everyone's health and mental health matters and yes feed is best.

 

[penn19]

The reason everyone needs braces today is because crooked teeth are no longer accepted. Looks at movies and TV shows as late as the 1980’s, very few actors had perfect teeth. My parents and grandparents didn’t have perfect teeth, I do, my sister does, our kids do. My husband doesn’t because his teeth weren’t bad enough for braces in the 70’s, but of course they’ve shifted. I know many my age who’ve used invisilign because they fell into this category, not needing braces back in the day because their teeth were “ok” but as adults they weren’t perfect.

I fall into this category. I’m one of a bunch of kids. By the time I came along I think my parents were just DONE with paying for braces for siblings that really needed them. So while my teeth look ok, my bite isn’t good which then affects other areas of my mouth.

 

[goofyernmost]

The only thing we got other than a chocolate bunny was Silly Putty.

And that is because silly putty came in an egg shaped container.