Gabby Petito

[TipsyTraveler]

In the video the PO asked Gabby if he hit her and she said "I guess", and the PO repeated- he hit you and asked her to show him where. She proceeded to grab her face and say like this.
So what she showed the PO wasn't actually a hit, it was a grab.
I understand that in hindsight because she is dead but that video is not concrete proof that she is the victim in an ongoing abusive relationship. That video is a snippet in their life, it doesn't tell the whole story and there were 2 witnesses and one did not mention seeing him hit her, but he did see them get in the car together. 2 different people saw 2 different things, and she herself doesn't say definitely yes he hit me, who knows what the truth is, could be something in the middle.

Yes, she said he grabbed her face as she was explaining how she got the cut on her face (pictured below on cheek, in line with her mouth). For everything else, with one exception, she was very unsure and wishy-washy with her answers. Is that because she couldn’t remember what happened, didn’t want to admit guilt, or was trying not to get Brian in trouble? We can only guess. Interestingly, the one exception I mentioned where she was confident in her answer was to say she had NOT grabbed the steering wheel and yanked it like Brian had told the officers. (She didn’t know Brian had said this, just that the officer was asking if she had grabbed the wheel.) She said she had punched Brian once in the arm “like, you idiot, we’re getting pulled over.” Privately, the officers discussed this discrepancy in Brian and Gabby’s version of events and concluded Brian was probably lying to cover for Gabby because he didn’t want her to get in trouble for hitting him. Oddly, they never seemed to consider Gabby might have been covering for Brian.

I wouldn’t say the witnesses saw two different things as much as one witness was very confident that he saw the man hitting the woman, the other saw a physical struggle but couldn’t tell if they were really fighting or who was the aggressor.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Just want to say in regards to your comment above, it stood out to me because I could absolutely see my in-laws doing that. They are very nature, outdoors types, in that they find peace out there. After a family tragedy they did in fact go camping for a few days, and it wasn't hey lets swim and hike and have a good old time, it was more like a solemn, reflective thing. But that was the place they felt peace.

I know we all judge others based on our own experiences, or what we think we would do in similar circumstances, or how our minds would work.

That reminds me of the various threads on the DIS about taking a vacation (be it Disney, a cruise, etc) after the loss of a loved one or a health diagnosis (like cancer for example). Sometimes it was a trip the loved one who passed away was supposed to be on sometimes not. Sometimes it's just the place you loved the most (and on this forum that usually is Disney that gets talked about).

Now that I feel like I have to add a disclaimer in here, I'm not actually talking about Brian's family here, just that your comments reminded me of the threads I've read on that.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

She was quick to call her mom, though, while she was still in the police car. I mean, if you REALLY think you're in danger and want out, all that other stuff doesn't matter. You leave your things behind. You go somewhere safe, period. You start over. She was 22. She didn't have any strings, really. I'm sure her 4 loving parents would have flown her home, no questions asked. Or they would have flown out there to get her, bring her home and make sure she is safe. Im guessing her 2 dads would have made sure Brian knew, in no uncertain terms, to stay away from their daughter. I can see how these situations can be complicated when the victim has no support system, maybe has kids in the mix, is financially dependent on their abuser, etc. But this girl COULD have told that cop "listen, he's abusing me, it's getting worse and I'm scared. Please help me." And they would have. It's just so sad to me to see women not ask for help when it's right there.

Where, in that moment on the side of the road, would she have decided was the place she could go to be safely away from him long term? Like I said earlier, even if she abandoned her vehicle and all her belongings in Florida and flew straight back to her parents in New York, he would know where to find her. To truly get away from an abuser who will come after their victim if they try to leave, one has to essentially disappear without a trace from that person’s life. And that’s assuming she had reached the point of realizing she was in an abusive situation, let alone aware just how bad it was and that she was in real danger.

 

[Skywalker]

That reminds me of the various threads on the DIS about taking a vacation (be it Disney, a cruise, etc) after the loss of a loved one or a health diagnosis (like cancer for example). Sometimes it was a trip the loved one who passed away was supposed to be on sometimes not. Sometimes it's just the place you loved the most (and on this forum that usually is Disney that gets talked about).

Now that I feel like I have to add a disclaimer in here, I'm not actually talking about Brian's family here, just that your comments reminded me of the threads I've read on that.

And your post in turn reminds me of an example of that in my own life. The week after my father passed away, my mother went to Jamaica for a week. I remember one lovely person actually saying to me "That's awful. How could she do that? Your dad just died and she's flying off for a Caribbean vacation." What she didn't know, was that my mother had grown up in Jamaica, and that her and my father vacationed there together every year. She wasn't jetting off to whoop it up at an all-inclusive, she was going somewhere meaningful for them, where she could feel connected to him and breathe in the comfort of being "home".

Another example of, the stories that people concoct inside their heads for other people's behaviour, often have no basis in reality.

 

[MamaMermaid]

I'm exhausted for Gabby's family. Wish this guy would just give it up.

 

[mom2rtk]

I think if these 2 were that immature, they had no business living together nor being on this road trip. Just a bad idea all around.

I can 100% agree with this.

 

[mom2rtk]

We aren’t 10% sure she was a battered woman.

But we're 100% sure she's dead. Doesn't mean we have the same degree of certainty that he did it. Or that he had a history of abuse toward her. Or that she didn't have a history of abuse toward him. But it sure looks a lot more likely to be one way than the other just based on the outcome.

Could we convict him based on what we know right now? Of course not. He deserves all the benefits our justice system has to offer. But I don't have to offer those same benefits in forming my own personal opinion.

 

[mjkacmom]

But we're 100% sure she's dead. Doesn't mean we have the same degree of certainty that he did it. Or that he had a history of abuse toward her. Or that she didn't have a history of abuse toward him. But it sure looks a lot more likely to be one way than the other just based on the outcome.

Could we convict him based on what we know right now? Of course not. He deserves all the benefits our justice system has to offer. But I don't have to offer those same benefits in forming my own personal opinion.

I think it’s more likely accidental than physical abuse. I think it would be hard to have a battered woman/partner while living in a house with others. I do not think this was a planned killing.

 

[mom2rtk]

I think it’s more likely accidental than physical abuse. I think it would be hard to have a battered woman/partner while living in a house with others. I do not think this was a planned killing.

I don't think a single person here is saying it was a planned killing.

I'm not even sure if she was a battered woman. Maybe, but not sure.

More than anything I think he was likely very controlling, which I think could easily happen living in someone else's house. Especially living with parents who are willing to do what they have done to cover for him.

I could see him strangling her in the middle of an argument. We already know he has a history of grabbing her face.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't think a single person here is saying it was a planned killing.

I'm not even sure if she was a battered woman. Maybe, but not sure.

More than anything I think he was likely very controlling, which I think could easily happen living in someone else's house. Especially living with parents who are willing to do what they have done to cover for him.

I could see him strangling her in the middle of an argument. We already know he has a history of grabbing her face.

They were together for 5 years, you would think that people would be stepping up left and right with stories of how he was abusive. plenty of folks know them personally, the rest of us have a body cam video.

 

[MamaMermaid]

They were together for 5 years, you would think that people would be stepping up left and right with stories of how he was abusive. plenty of folks know them personally, the rest of us have a body cam video.

Not all abuse is public...

 

[Marrila]

They were together for 5 years, you would think that people would be stepping up left and right with stories of how he was abusive. plenty of folks know them personally, the rest of us have a body cam video.

And that is your opinion.
Just in general, there is a high degree of shame and fear with many battered women. So they hide it. Why does this matter? It's some insight into their "lack" of action.
In addition, the abuse often happens away from friends and family.

 

[lisaviolet]

Could we convict him based on what we know right now? Of course not. He deserves all the benefits our justice system has to offer. But I don't have to offer those same benefits in forming my own personal opinion.

Exactly.

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I don't know if she was abused. But I do know he is an *** and has some troubling tendencies. That is just common sense. He returned home without Gabby, with her van and felt no need to let anyone who loved her know that. If she had simply refused to go back to Florida with him, in her own van (sigh) - he still should be sharing that information with at least one loved one of hers to make sure the woman he supposedly loved enough to marry, was safe and others were aware of her choices - just in case in general and just in case she is not for herself. No matter of any other circumstances. And then her mother reaches out knowing that something is wrong and he ****ing ignores a worried mother. As did his lovely mother.

And for those who think abuse could not occur around other people in someone else's home - absolutely naive thinking.

My Lord people in many countries live in cramped quarters and it happens. Sometimes with others even knowing/seeing and condoning it. But it could still happen in secret around others. I am absolutely dumbfounded that that is not known.

And you don't have to be twenty-two to feel attached to your abuser in an inappropriate manner. And not think clearly. And have all the help in the world readily available and not reach out. You can be twice her age and beyond successful. Living in abuse, especially by someone you love, is not that simple. Wouldn't the world be completely different if it was?

Once again, no one knows the facts of their relationship or abuse. Only bouncing off others' comments about what she should have done if that was indeed happening.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Exactly.

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I don't know if she was abused. But I do know he is an *** and has some troubling tendencies. That is just common sense. He returned home without Gabby, with her van and felt no need to let anyone who loved her know that. If she had simply refused to go back to Florida with him, in her own van (sigh) - he still should be sharing that information with at least one loved one of hers to make sure the woman he supposedly loved enough to marry, was safe and others were aware of her choices - just in case. No matter of any other circumstances. And then her mother teaches out knowing that something is wrong and he ****ing ignores a worried mother.

And for those who think abuse could not occur around other people in someone else's home - absolutely naive thinking

My Lord people in many countries live in cramped quarters and it happens. Sometimes with others even knowing/seeing and condoning it. But it could still happen in secret around others. I am absolutely dumbfounded that that is not known.

And you don't have to be twenty-two to feel attached to your abuser in an inappropriate manner. And not think clearly. And have all the help in the world readily available and not reach out. You can be twice her age and beyond successful. Living in abuse, especially by someone you love, is not that simple. Wouldn't the world be completely different if it was?

Once again, no one knows the facts of their relationship or abuse. Only bouncing off others' comments about what she should have done if that was indeed happening.

Exactly. Accusations of abuse aside, he's a pretty awful, selfish, inconsiderate person - killer or not.

 

[TLSnell1981]

It might not be the norm, but I've known a few couples like this. They all went on to have really nasty divorces. It does happen that both parties abuse each other equally.

They seemed to feed of the dysfunction. Relationships such as this rarely end well.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Here’s our daily Dog update. He seems to think he’s right on his tail (pun intended).

https://www.tmz.com/2021/09/29/dog-...n-laundrie-alive-hiding-capture-gabby-petito/

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

And that is your opinion.
Just in general, there is a high degree of shame and fear with many battered women. So they hide it. Why does this matter? It's some insight into their "lack" of action.
In addition, the abuse often happens away from friends and family.

There's a lot of shame around abuse in general from kids to adults, from male to female, etc.

From my own situation it took me many years to stop rationalizing and giving the "but it wasn't always bad" speeches about the abusive toxic situation I was put in as a kid. I used to say "but I was taken on vacation" (although I was a 15 year old paying for things on the cruise or a 16 year old paying for my Disney parks tickets) as a means to brush aside the fact that I lived out of a suitcase for 11 years because my dad never bought me clothing despite a court order to do so.

In any case I agree with you.

 

[JimMIA]

Here’s our daily Dog update. He seems to think he’s right on his tail (pun intended).

https://www.tmz.com/2021/09/29/dog-...n-laundrie-alive-hiding-capture-gabby-petito/

The FBI is going to be SO embarrassed if "Dog" actually finds him!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Here’s our daily Dog update. He seems to think he’s right on his tail (pun intended).

https://www.tmz.com/2021/09/29/dog-...n-laundrie-alive-hiding-capture-gabby-petito/

Not surprised that TMZ is the source. Love 'em, hate 'em but they usually are one of the first with the scoop

 

[Marrila]

The FBI is going to be SO embarrassed if "Dog" actually finds him!

I think he's comfortable tracking someone in jungle or deep thick woods. Maybe he brings something to the table, who knows.