Would you push the button?

[DLgal]

My kids are autistic and so I have some sympathy with parents of kids who have to do things a certain way or else face a meltdown. It is really a hard way to try and navigate life.

That said, we taught our kids that if they wanted to press the button, they had to be fast AND everyone else in the elevator got to press their own floor unless they asked our kid to press for them. We taught them to ask others "what number do you need?" Most people are gracious and allow a kid who asks that to press the button.

In this situation, I would have asked the kid "can you press number 4?" If he didn't do it within like 5-10 seconds max, I'd reach over and say "okay, I'll do it instead."

 

[Donald13]

Personally this thread was just a good reminder of why I’m a Childless Millennial(tm).

Stick around you’ll find more LOL.

 

[Lm3js]

Absolutely would have pushed the button. You are not responsible for that kid’s emotional state. You gave him a chance to push and he didn’t. Step aside kid.

 

[Donald13]

"Just here for the “we never tolerated that and now our 9483 kids are angels and hold the door for people in other states” comments and I am not disappointed."

Really? That is what you got from this conversation? I did not at all; I think people are being honest. Some of us would like to say that we have infinite patience for a toddler's development and desire to call the shots in a public elevator. It would make me feel good about myself, but the truth is once a child "screamed bloody murder" in a very small contained space, I would be pushing every button to get out of there because my ears and nerves would be hurting.

I also don't think anyone here said their kid was an angel as a toddler. My own was definitely not, so I have experience with removing her before the eruption impinges on others. Sometimes the removal is loud and unpleasant but so is standing in an elevator with a screaming child and a bunch of strangers. Get him out of there at first opportunity. The learning lessons can take place on your own time and in your own space then.

are you new here?? You must be. And what does this add to the conversation? And why so heated when you weren’t even there. And the high and mighty act on this board gets old. It was a joke and some people got it and laughed. Not you apparently.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

Yup. Thats a behavior issue they have cultivated by letting him only hit the buttons... you prolly gave the kid a good life lesson and once hes over it the family might be in a better spot.

Or...the kid could be on the spectrum. Since I work with kids on the spectrum I tend to give kids the benefit of the doubt and to attribute any atypical behavior to a possible autism or sensory related issue if there's no other obvious reason for it. There is a reason behind every behavior, good or bad, and I probably would have put on my ABA hat in that instance.

Even assuming the kid was typical, he was displaying atypical behavior and that always fascinates me and makes me want to analyze it. And as someone else said, little kids just like pressing buttons, and I've been in that situation with a tired preschooler who needs a little help managing some big feelings.

 

[GAN]

If they looked like a button-pusher, I probably wait for the next ride. I'd give anyone the chance to push a filthy button so I don't have to ...but I'm not waiting any length of time.

 

[cjlong88]

I would have pushed every single button on that elevator, all while looking the kid dead in the eyes as he screams in horror. The patrons of that fine elevator would have to cover their ears because the screaming would have been unbearable. And then I would have started screaming. Softly at first, but then it would grow louder and louder. The elevator would start shaking and the child would stare in silent horror. And then everyone would run out of the elevator. Everyone would run out of the Contemporary Resort. People would flee to save their ears from the horror emanating from my mouth. And I would be the ruler of that elevator for eternity. The cops would be called...the fire department would arrive. Helicopters would be flying overhead trying to capture the event on video. And then Disney would very kindly walk me off property and asked me to never return. And that would be my legacy. "Minnesota man screams at child in elevator until walked off WDW property" would be the headline in the media. I would have my 15 minutes fame and thousands of humans would write internet comments about how terrible of a human I am. I would have lived in infamy FOREVER. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!


Okay, but for realz...I have no clue what I would do. I don't like to be in elevators with other humans right now. That sounds like a really weird situation. My niece is two and my sister doesn't succumb to her screams every time she doesn't get her way. She is learning quickly that screaming doesn't get things she wants, and I think that's a great lesson that has to be learned at some point. That doesn't mean it works for every child.

 

[FQLover]

@Donald13 It looks like I am less new than you by a couple of years. And it is funny because I thought your remark was the one that was condescending. But I missed that it was a joke. It just seemed a little derisive to posters on the thread. But no big deal--I will keep a wide berth from you going forward.

 

[LSUmiss]

Yup. Thats a behavior issue they have cultivated by letting him only hit the buttons... you prolly gave the kid a good life lesson and once hes over it the family might be in a better spot.

Too bad his 2 & won’t remember it.

 

[LSUmiss]

I would have pushed the button, when does the child learn the word no in life?

Not usually at 2 ftr. Some of y’all are absolutely ridiculous. He’s freaking 2! Dad shoulda made a move quicker I agree, but some of you seem to be getting some kinda pleasure from disappointing a baby. Good for you I guess? I think if you can’t slow down & wait for a baby to push a button, perhaps you (collective) need to take a look at the pace of your lives. As far as those who said they wouldn’t give a kid that much power, sure seems like those adults are the ones on a power trip instead. Now if the kid was older maybe, but a 2 yr old is freaking baby for Pete’s sake.

 

[LSUmiss]

Or...the kid could be on the spectrum. Since I work with kids on the spectrum I tend to give kids the benefit of the doubt and to attribute any atypical behavior to a possible autism or sensory related issue if there's no other obvious reason for it. There is a reason behind every behavior, good or bad, and I probably would have put on my ABA hat in that instance.

Even assuming the kid was typical, he was displaying atypical behavior and that always fascinates me and makes me want to analyze it. And as someone else said, little kids just like pressing buttons, and I've been in that situation with a tired preschooler who needs a little help managing some big feelings.

...or he’s 2 lol

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Does anyone else have an image of the OP still standing in the lift, days later, gathering dust, waiting for the child to press the button?

The most annoying children are the ones who press all the buttons, or continuously press the button that makes the doors open, or they deliberately obstruct the doors to prevent them closing.

 

[Meglen]

Too bad his 2 & won’t remember it.

You think a 2 year old can't learn? I have seen many well behaved young children. Sure every child has there moments. But the main factor here is the child was givin the chance to hit the button for a decent amount of time and didn't. It's up the parents to than handle it.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

This thread is all about how different people are! The kid might have had some issues with how his brain worked, or he might have had parents who were creating a brat. Some adults on an elevator like that are going to push their own elevator buttons, and some would give the kid the chance.

The bottom line, though, is the kid is going to have to adjust somehow to the real world eventually, and that world is not going to revolve around him. As a parent I always thought the most loving thing I could do for my kids was to help them make that adjustment while I was still there to make it as easy as possible. In this situation, I would have asked the adult getting on if it would be ok if my child pushed the button and then made darn sure he did it fast. If he didn't, I'd apologize to the stranger and push the button myself, calmly explaining to my child that there would always be a "next time".

 

[Cogswel_Cogs]

Having a child with anxiety has changed my opinion greatly of overstepping a parents request. Luckily daughter is doing much better, but I know appreciate the chance that the parent is not just letting child run the show for no reason. I usually under normal circumstances attempt to follow parents wishes now.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Not usually at 2 ftr. Some of y’all are absolutely ridiculous. He’s freaking 2! Dad shoulda made a move quicker I agree, but some of you seem to be getting some kinda pleasure from disappointing a baby. Good for you I guess? I think if you can’t slow down & wait for a baby to push a button, perhaps you (collective) need to take a look at the pace of your lives. As far as those who said they wouldn’t give a kid that much power, sure seems like those adults are the ones on a power trip instead. Now if the kid was older maybe, but a 2 yr old is freaking baby for Pete’s sake.

According to the OP the 2 year old in question understands at least the directive of push the button even if they don't do it immediately. I think most are actually responding to the parent when they say what they would do because the kid isn't alone. I think this is one where if you say he's a baby then he's not ready for the responsibility of pushing the buttons on his own especially all the time and especially when there are other people around. Kids like buttons to push (physical and non physical lol) we get that. Giving autonomy shouldn't mean tantrums when you don't get your way though and that may be that emotional you're not ready.

After thinking about it more the dad could have picked up the kid and helped press the button. If your kid has a meltdown every time they can't push the button themselves they may not be ready for that responsibility. Either you're still guiding their hand/fingers or they just don't get to press the button.

 

[tzolkin]

Contemporary elevator. We got in line behind a father and a 2yo. The father tells him to push the up button and after about a minute the boy did. We get in the elevator and I motion to push the button for level 4. The kid screams bloody murder and the father says "if he doesn't push the button he will have a meltdown." I think to myself, sounds like a personal problem. By now nobody has pushed any buttons, we aren't moving, the guests outside can't make their selections and the kid looks like he is going to burst into flames. I finally push the button. I have places I want to go and can't wait for this situation be resolved. They sat near us at Contempo Cafe and the kid was still on fire.

Would you have pushed the button?

I was assuming the dad had asked the kid to push a button and the kid was just taking too long, but then I re-read your OP. When you say you "motioned to push the button" do you mean like you reached out to push the 4 and the kid started screaming? If that's the case, heck yes I'm pushing that button immediately. Absolutely no way am I encouraging/indulging that behavior.

If the dad was already discussing which button to push and the kid was just taking too long I would give it a few seconds and then say something encouraging to the kid like "Are you ready? Do you want to push your button first? Or do you want me to push mine first?" and give him a few more seconds.

But if the kid was already throwing a tantrum, I would just push the button and ignore. I'm not going to stand there waiting for a screaming kid to finish their tantrum while a bunch of people are waiting for the elevator. I've known kids to throw tantrums for hours until they have no voice left or fall asleep. What's the correct amount of time to wait for a screaming kid to get their way?

 

[MamaMermaid]

I thought this thread was going to be about global thermonuclear war. But in the elevator, yes, I would probably allow the kid about 10 seconds before pushing the button myself.

Yo same. Or some psychological study where one participant thinks they're harming an unseen other participant...

For the record, I probably would've waited a decent amount of time and then expected the parent to push it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Having a child with anxiety has changed my opinion greatly of overstepping a parents request. Luckily daughter is doing much better, but I know appreciate the chance that the parent is not just letting child run the show for no reason. I usually under normal circumstances attempt to follow parents wishes now.

The reality is not every parent is in the right. We don't normally think it's a good thing for a child to run around creating a mess in a store, or a child to scream and scream and scream. I understand what you're meaning insomuch of giving some latitude towards whatever is going on and in real life most of us probably do this. But there's a line too where you can objectively see the parent isn't helping the child overcome, they are enabling the child. There's isn't one way in this elevator case for the parent to do. Another thing the parent could have done was seen that they were not alone in waiting for the elevator and stepped back to allow others to go on.

My cousin's child has a cognitive disorder due to a brain damage caused by a high fever. Mentally and emotionally she's several years younger than her physical age. Right now she's 21 but she isn't mentally that age. She gets latitude towards things, especially during the times when they've needed to adjust her medication. But she doesn't get to throw tantrums, even when she was quite young. One Christmas she was particularly agitated. As a consequence her, her brother, her father, and her mother did not come. My grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary (when she mentally would have been about 5 or 6) they left early because she couldn't handle it. She is very sensitive to people's emotions and that is the one part that has caused slight tension within our family. When my grandfather passed away in 2009 it meant grieving for my grandfather was difficult because I cried she cried and I emotionally didn't want her to feel that but I wished I hadn't done that because it stunted my ability to grieve. She was attached to my hip at that time and had her head on my lap during the whole wake, anytime I started to get emotional she flared up. In 2019 my mom was pressured to remove her thoughts on FB about her mom (my grandmother) entering hospice because my cousin's child saw it and broke down. My mom pushed back on that one and I was happy she did because that is an unfair request and an inappropriate one at that. My cousin's child has a difficulty in dealing with death and illness (even when it's someone far removed from her) but there is a point where that shouldn't become everyone's burden too.

In the OP's situation we're not really in that deep with this 2 year old in the elevator but in the grander scheme there's been a lot of times where you can see the parents are letting their kids run the show in an unproductive way. There's being sensitive and polite in the situation though so no need to be rude about it.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Sorry, can’t resist.....