Just read your post.... we are also at Aulani in May for our 35th Anniversary, it is not our first trip there, but this time we are bringing the kids ( ha 29 and 30 ) their significant others, and our first grand kid.. so we are really looking forward to it. BUT we rented a car for the whole trip ( two actually, the kids wanted their own, but that's on their dime ), we do expect to do food shopping ( Safeway not far away... not a Costco member ). We rent a cabana for one day where it is nothing more than a relaxing beach and pool day. We do plan on doing Pearl, ( there are "tickets" you can buy from government website that gets you to all of the attractions at pearl, and while the Arizona memorial is very moving, the Missouri is impressive, but plan on a whole day for that ). With a grand kid this time, we do have to set time aside for characters... they are all over the place, last time with 8 adults, we did our best to avoid them, but have to build in time for that now.
We have a Spa Day planned for the girls, and couple rounds of golf planned for the guys ( Ko Olina golf is right across he street ). We are going to do a Luau, but will do the Fia Fia at the Marriott, reasonable walk, or Ko Olina Shuttle, that Luau is only on Tuesdays. At Ko Olina harbor is Mana Cruises, we did NOT do this last time, but it is on our agenda this time. They offer a sunset cruise which we are told is amazing...
We also will spend a day on the north shore, really just sight seeing and taking advantage of the food trucks... We bring certain foods with us from home ( they have barbecue grills on property, ), burgers on the beach for lunch and steaks for dinner... our Safeway trip was over 500 dollars ( there was 8 of us last time... and yes, there might have been some alcohol in that shopping trip...)... its EASY to spend money.... TOO EASY...
Many things in Aulani close down early ( earlier than i expected ), because of that, we spent way too much time at Monkeypods across the street.. its a fun gathering place, and you can eat or just it at the bar...( bartender knew our names by day 3...sigh...).
I hope you have a great anniversary, and maybe get to cross paths...