Well... DD is getting married in June, so I am earlobe deep in all the wedding planning stuff. She is putting lilac on all her girls and has asked that her soon to be (stb) MIL and I choose plum, or something similar, even if it's a floral pattern that focuses on plum. If I can't find something I like, I am going to ask her to consider coordinating colors, too. DD's first dress foray was a big one: she, I, stb MIL, an aunt and 2 cousins, and 3 of 4 bridesmaids (MoH is in law school in DC). Everyone knew going in that we weren't buying a dress that day, just narrowing down silhouettes. It had all the makings of a circus, but it WASN'T. We all had a great time! There were 2 more dress trips scheduled, but DD was sure #3, at a shop that carries her favorite designer and a day that her MoH could attend, would be when she bought her dress (stb MIL and I were going too). Trip #2 was a "why not" stop. DD was home visiting, figured we have a legit reason to try on beautiful dresses, so why not? She, MoH's mom, and I went looking, and guess what? SHE FOUND HER DRESS!! So at least that's settled!
Weddings bring out the best and worst in people. We have been fairly friendly with the groom's parents for about 4 years now, invited to different family functions (graduations/parties), out to lunch/supper when in each other's area, etc. DD invited her stb MIL to the first dress shopping trip and the 3rd one, invited them both to go venue-visit, etc. DD thought she was good, included them, etc. but stb inlaws blew up. Tears, recriminations, name-calling because they weren't invited to see EVERYTHING. Really? DH and I saw 3 venues, they didn't choose to go to the distant ones OR the two near their home. They need to "approve" before money is spent- not that they've coughed up any cash. Guest list is a nightmare: DD and her fiancé wanted to invite about 80, no kids. Stb inlaws feel that they HAVE to invite everyone, even children, no matter if fiancé knows who they are or not. As DH/I are paying for the majority of the wedding, I finally put my foot down, but the list of 80 has grown to 125. It's OK, we have to guarantee 110 anyhow for the venue (and DD/fiance definitely want this venue), but I was just shocked at how demanding and demeaning the stb inlaws have become. I am playing nice, DD is trying to get along because these ARE her fiancé's parents (and he is horrified by all this, finally told them if they don't 'approve' of the wedding that DD/fiance are planning, they don't have to come, he is firmly 100% on the same team as DD). I am angry because they made DD cry and are making what should be a wonderful lead-in into a painful, second-guessing fiasco. Lord only knows what'll be next, but to my way of thinking, this is DD's and her fiancé's wedding. I've had mine, the stb inlaws have had theirs, this isn't a social obligation pay-back or a family reunion. I will have DD's back the whole way, and DH is about ready to take down anyone who makes her cry again!
SO... back to the dress thing. I'll wear whatever color DD wishes; we are spending enough $$$ that I want the pictures to look great (and don't be misled... we'll do a wedding with cash bar for 110 for under $15K, including everything, because that's what we have to spend- it's not a "big ticket" wedding at all). However... I don't want to "match" stb MIL, and will talk to DD about it if it looks like that will happen.