Grumble about FE

[MomOTwins]

I joined an FE on another social media site and just have to gripe a bit and ask if this is normal. Our group closed weeks ago, and yet the manager just decided without asking us to re-open it to add new people to our group. I still have three weeks left so I know there is still time, but I spent hours assembling, decorating, and labeling and was happy to be all done, and I budgeted by dividing the budget by the number of people, so this makes it more expensive than I'd planned because I would have just gotten less expensive gifts (plus, now I have to pay shipping again for the online items). Is this something that ordinarily happens that I should be prepared for and not do my FE gifts early next time? The last time I cruised we booked one month ahead and so formed a separate "latecomers" group because the FE exchange had closed, so I assumed that would done again for any new arrivals this time.

 

[nearlyfallinstar]

No this isn't normal. Sometimes late comers will be added to an existing FE group, but only after getting the okay from people in the group. I'm sorry your organizer decided to do this without asking. They were probably getting pressured by the late comers and caved.

 

[Van Houten]

Definitely not common - typically reopening a completed group would require a unanimous acceptance from all group members, and is only done under specific circumstances (for example, when FE group members have to cancel the cruise or change dates).

 

[DisneyTravelers2008]

I would just provide for the people who were originally in the group (sorry / not sorry).....

 

[Deb T.]

Since they are late-comers, you shouldn't feel obligated to provide the same FE gift that you already made for the others. If it were me in your situation, I would just find a simple, inexpensive alternate gift and be done.

 

[dprincessmom]

Since they are late-comers, you shouldn't feel obligated to provide the same FE gift that you already made for the others. If it were me in your situation, I would just find a simple, inexpensive alternate gift and be done.

This - I would find them something nice, but not special order and pay shipping again.
I'm new to the FE experience and NONE of my gifts are identical.

I wouldn't leave the late comers out because they aren't the ones that made the decision to reopen the group.

 

[gilsan]

I would tell your FE co-ordinator to start another group for the latecomers. It is not fair to the rest of the group especially so close to the cruise. If they don't I agree with the PP that I wouldn't give the same gift you are giving to the other cabins. I would bet you are not alone in feeling annoyed by the late additions.

 

[gotomu212]

It’s happened to us a few times and other times the newcomers were told no.

Honestly in my opinion he whole FE thing has become a big over complicated monster (and no judgement on people who still like it and participate). There aren’t any rules but with so many people participating everyone has different expectations. It used to be smallish things that were easy to add on a few more and if new people came you just grabbed a couple of whatever’s and added to the pile.

To the OP do what you’re comfortable with- pick something up at the store and it’s fine if it’s different or you could order more- but I think at this point going back and telling them to change the FE list again is going to make it even messier.

In full disclosure we don’t participate anymore since it’s become such an enormous undertaking.

 

[southerngirl528]

I would tell your FE co-ordinator to start another group for the latecomers. It is not fair to the rest of the group especially so close to the cruise.

I agree with this.

 

[MaleficentRN]

I would tell your FE co-ordinator to start another group for the latecomers. It is not fair to the rest of the group especially so close to the cruise. If they don't I agree with the PP that I wouldn't give the same gift you are giving to the other cabins. I would bet you are not alone in feeling annoyed by the late additions.

That's what groups I've been in have done.

 

[TestingH2O]

When I’ve run FE, I will close any groups that are full at PIF. All groups are officially closed by 30 days out. Anyone who comes after goes on a Pixie Dust list.

 

[Carrie in AZ]

I believe you need to speak up and let everyone know this is not right and that all latecomers ahould be in their own group. Since you are done because your group had been closed, there is no way I would alter my plans and start up again due to someone’s poor decision. UGH I cannot tell you how annoyed I would feel.

 

[sweetpee_1993]

I’ve more commonly seen post cutoff peeps assembled into another group with each other. Most fair thing to do, really.

 

[MomOTwins]

Thanks for all the replies. I have decided they are going to get a different gift from the others; I do want to get them something because they will presumably be gifting us, and I feel they are being put in an unfair situation because it is not their fault the organizer stuck them in a group that was closed over a month ago instead of making a new group for them. I also worry they are going to get skimped on gifts just because people might not have seen the post from the organizer announcing they were added to our group (it was sent as a social-media site post to the whole "group," not private messages to our individual group members--I almost missed it myself, as I don't check that website regularly). But since the consensus seems to be this is not normal, I think I feel more comfortable with the idea of getting them something different than everyone else since it would just be so much more costly to replicate the original gift with all the homemade packaging etc. for the new people than when I got everything in bulk for the entire group.

 

[MomOTwins]

Ack, I wrote my last post, read it, and then realized I did just feel terrible for the new folks, so I am ordering the original gift despite the shipping cost, but am not going to replicate the packaging. Still kind of fuming internally for the organizer for doing this both to the existing FE group and the new people.

 

[Anchors Away 2016]

Ack, I wrote my last post, read it, and then realized I did just feel terrible for the new folks, so I am ordering the original gift despite the shipping cost, but am not going to replicate the packaging. Still kind of fuming internally for the organizer for doing this both to the existing FE group and the new people.

Do as you wish, of course. The only thing I would point out is that the new people aren't completely blameless either. Granted, the organizer should have just politely told them "Sorry, it is too late to join," but a the very least they showed up to the group late and still asked to join after all of the arrangements had been made, and it is quite possible that they put pressure on the organizer to let them join. So, personally, I think they will be happy to get to participate, even if they don't get the same things. Besides, they won't know what you got for everyone else. It's not like a party where you'd be handing out one thing to some people and something different to others right in front of them.

 

[Girl of the South]

My fish will remain unextended . . . he said he's an introvert and doesn't mind.

 

[Carrie in AZ]

Their lack of proper planning does not make this an emergency for you! You are very kind. I think the reason I am so surprised by this is that the two cruise groups to which I belonged, from which our FE groups were formed from that larger base, were very open and communicative. I am pretty sure we would have pushed back if our organizer had tried to re-open the groups. On our last cruise, ALL the groups were closed. Some joined late and one gal pouted big time when the organizer said all the groups were closed. Ultimately, our kind organizer formed one more group for the latecomers, announced it, and those who wished to participate or dust those latecomers publicly stated they would do so.

You are very kind to order more gifts and incur the expenses. I fear, though, that it is a recipe for disaster as it seems like some will fall thru the cracks, maybe your family on the receiving end, and some others may miss out also. Again, I am sorry this happened.

 

[Sunshine2U]

Good luck with all that.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I joined an FE on another social media site and just have to gripe a bit and ask if this is normal. Our group closed weeks ago, and yet the manager just decided without asking us to re-open it to add new people to our group. I still have three weeks left so I know there is still time, but I spent hours assembling, decorating, and labeling and was happy to be all done, and I budgeted by dividing the budget by the number of people, so this makes it more expensive than I'd planned because I would have just gotten less expensive gifts (plus, now I have to pay shipping again for the online items). Is this something that ordinarily happens that I should be prepared for and not do my FE gifts early next time? The last time I cruised we booked one month ahead and so formed a separate "latecomers" group because the FE exchange had closed, so I assumed that would done again for any new arrivals this time.

Generally, once a FE list closes, that's it. On occasion, some groups will allow newcomers to be added - with the understanding that not everyone already on the list will be gifting them. BUT, they must gift everyone on the list. They are usually called the "pixie dust" group.

If I were you, I'd just stick to my original list and call it good. If you want you can pick up some cheaper, quickie gifts to provide the "pixie dust" group. Or not.