Getting married REALLY early

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

Have you ever known anyone who has gotten married really early into the relationship? I'm talking like 2 or 3 months after meeting. How did it work out?

Have you ever done this yourself?

 

[Cheetie]

Yes. I worked with a woman who was engaged two weeks after meeting her husband, married after three months. They were married over 50 years when she passed away.

 

[bellebud]

My brother and his wife. They met 19 years ago through a local online dating site. He was about 33, she was 35. He says when he walked into the restaurant and saw her, he felt like he knew her already, like "Oh, THERE you are, I've been waiting for you" (insert awwwwwwwwwwww's). And the date wasn't perfect (on paper), he forgot his wallet, so she had to pay, AND, his car wouldn't start and she had to drive him somewhere afterwards. I find that hilarious!! They got married in Vegas about a month later. They're each others best friends and still adorable together. Oh, and she and I share a birthday, and she looks SO MUCH like the women on my father's side of the family, it's almost eerie.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Have you ever known anyone who has gotten married really early into the relationship? I'm talking like 2 or 3 months after meeting. How did it work out?

Have you ever done this yourself?

Yes - a close relative! She was married 4 times and had SEVERAL live in boyfriends in between husbands. Every single time she'd get married or move these guys in within 3-6 months of meeting them. EVERY time was "different". "He's the one, I knew it instantly." "When you know you know". "This one is going to last, he's my other half" Blah blah blah. @@ It's very hard to take somebody like that seriously, she was the joke of the family. She had two girls, some of these men had kids so she was step mom a few times only to never see the kids again. Not somebody that should have had kids or have been brought into a relationship with step kids

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

DD married a guy she knew for 3 months (against our wishes). Married 10 years, one child, then divorced.

 

[mom2rtk]

What's the hurry?

 

[mjkacmom]

Why gamble? You really don’t know the person until closer to a year, when the novelty wears off. I’m 51, watching a lot of divorces, it’s terrible.

 

[larissawbb]

I married my husband two months after meeting him. We eloped to Vegas also and have been married for 27 years. When you know hey you know.

 

[QueenIsabella]

DH and I were talking marriage, 2 weeks after our first date. But, we didn't get married until 2 years later. We both knew we'd met "the one", but there's something to be said for really getting to know someone before you make it permanent. And if you know it's right, why rush? I think it's good to date for at least a year before getting engaged--see the person in all seasons. See how their family does holidays, see how they are for birthdays and other occasions. Make sure you have the same expectations and travel styles and have compatible child-rearing beliefs.

 

[wenrob]

My youngest brother. He falls fast and hard. I can’t count the number of times he’s been “engaged” from high school on. He married his first wife in the drive thru chapel two days after meeting her. Lasted two maybe three years? Their divorce was just as abrupt. A phone call out of nowhere saying they were divorcing. I was with them three days before and they were all gushy and in love. Second wife two weeks after meeting. It went on for about ten years. Have a baby, split, get back together, another baby, split, get back together and so on. Then one day she just walked and gave him the kids. He’s now a single dad of five. (which I give him props for, he really stepped up) He’s now engaged to a woman he’s been with a couple years. I don’t know much about her but I’m pretty sure she’s the one who is in no rush at all. She seems good for him. *knocks wood*

 

[RangerPooh]

My grandparents married within a month of dating. Were married over 60 years before their passing. My parents married after 3 months of dating, and have been married 42 years.

 

[mjkacmom]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...1710/how-long-should-you-date-getting-married

 

[Disneylover99]

My sister and her husband got married 3 months after meeting.
6 months later their first child was born.

It must have been a great first date!

 

[scrhsa]

I met my husband in Aug. and married in Dec. We've been married 28 yrs. I just knew I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with him

 

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

DH and I were talking marriage, 2 weeks after our first date. But, we didn't get married until 2 years later. We both knew we'd met "the one", but there's something to be said for really getting to know someone before you make it permanent. And if you know it's right, why rush? I think it's good to date for at least a year before getting engaged--see the person in all seasons. See how their family does holidays, see how they are for birthdays and other occasions. Make sure you have the same expectations and travel styles and have compatible child-rearing beliefs.

I definitely feel like you can "know" after a couple weeks of meeting someone but I have no reason to get married right away.

 

[gillep]

DH and I were talking marriage, 2 weeks after our first date. But, we didn't get married until 2 years later. We both knew we'd met "the one", but there's something to be said for really getting to know someone before you make it permanent. And if you know it's right, why rush? I think it's good to date for at least a year before getting engaged--see the person in all seasons. See how their family does holidays, see how they are for birthdays and other occasions. Make sure you have the same expectations and travel styles and have compatible child-rearing beliefs.

We were the same, although it took us 5 years to get married because we both wanted to graduate from college first and we needed to be able to pay for our wedding ourselves. We figured that there was no rush if we were planning on being together forever anyway. That said, I got married when I was 23. Now that I am in my early 30s my friends are tending to date for a shorter period of time before getting married, although most have been together at least a year.

 

[PlainJane]

We got married after less than a year of even knowing each other. We’ve been married about 4 and a half years. We started talking about getting married about 2 months after we started dating, and would have gotten married then, but it was very important to my mother that I have a traditional (not courthouse) wedding. Meeting my husband was kind of like this, “wait, you exist?!” There’s no one in the world I would rather spend my life with.

What's the hurry?

We’re Christians, so to start sharing a life together, we needed to get married. I’ve known plenty of couples that waited longer to work out if they were ready to commit to the rest of their life, and it was time well spent, but we were ready.

 

[Lynne M]

That feeling that you "know" is not uncommon in early relationships. I think it's mostly infatuation or wishful thinking. I've "known" a few times. Time proved me wrong in every case.

A person's character reveals itself slowly, over time. When a relationship is new, both parties are on their best behavior, in carefully planned situations (dates), and most of what you know about the other person is what they tell you. IMO, it takes a lot of time, watching the person in day-to-day life, to really know them. How do they react to tough situations? Do they lose their temper? Blame others? Fold up and hide from the problem? Do they have your back, or do they react out of selfishness?

Are they the person you'd want at your side though illness, financial problems, raising a child, dealing with aging parents?

I think all you can know after a few weeks or months is that the relationship has potential. You can certainly know that you like the person, and that you're strongly attracted to them. Anything else is pure gambling. You WILL find out negative things about the person over months or years (we all have our not-so-great features). Whether those not-good features of their personality will be something you can live with, or something that's an absolute dealbreaker...that's a roll of the dice.

Marriage isn't something I'd want to roll the dice on.

 

[Klayfish]

We got married two years to the day after our first date, however we were living together completely within a few weeks of meeting and at that point we both knew we were going to marry. That was over 20 years ago.

 

[amberpi]

I got married last month after starting to date in feb. Within about 2 weeks we were talking rings and housing. We had met in sept. and both grown up in the same suburb of Nashville and had tons of mutual friends and landed back here after years away; I’m terribly happy.

ETA: I’ve been married twice before, I knew both men for years and did the proper long engagement and the whole bit. One of those ended very well and we remain friends (unfortunately the other part of the equation didn’t work for us) and the other was a dumpster fire of abuse. I was not as certain as I am for either of them and almost broke both engagements, as I am for this relationship. Who knows basically from relationship to relationship if any of them will work. You hear of people being married 20 years and then walking. I just don’t think there’s a recipe anymore.