Traveling with not so budget minded friends

MKCP5

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 20, 2005
Anyone have any tips? I am going on a college program reunion trip in September. We are staying at Saratoga Springs resort in the treehouses. Not my choice to be honest, they're crazy expensive. But when I decided to join in on the fun they had already booked it. We are planning on getting some groceries from garden grocer since we will have a full kitchen (again, crazy expensive for groceries) but I am not a big eater and am struggling with "letting go" of my budget minded ways and just having fun and paying the costs that are associated with this trip while still feeling like I am going to be paying for way more than my share. I don't want to be the one who is constantly looking at the financials of this and feeling like we could have done it cheaper or having hassles with my old friends who I haven't seen in ages. I am not a super scrimper, but I'm not wasteful at all and I am generally careful with our $$ Argghhh! So So SO many conflicting emotions. Some thoughts? Sympathy? Straight Talk? Lol I don't know what I need!
 
Anyone have any tips? I am going on a college program reunion trip in September. We are staying at Saratoga Springs resort in the treehouses. Not my choice to be honest, they're crazy expensive. But when I decided to join in on the fun they had already booked it. We are planning on getting some groceries from garden grocer since we will have a full kitchen (again, crazy expensive for groceries) but I am not a big eater and am struggling with "letting go" of my budget minded ways and just having fun and paying the costs that are associated with this trip while still feeling like I am going to be paying for way more than my share. I don't want to be the one who is constantly looking at the financials of this and feeling like we could have done it cheaper or having hassles with my old friends who I haven't seen in ages. I am not a super scrimper, but I'm not wasteful at all and I am generally careful with our $$ Argghhh! So So SO many conflicting emotions. Some thoughts? Sympathy? Straight Talk? Lol I don't know what I need!
When you agree to vacation with other people, you really have to commit to going with the flow or else opt to stay home. No one is going to count how many grapes A ate or how many slices of bread B toasted for himself in order to divide the costs according to what everyone consumed. If you're going to be in the treehouses, someone is going to be sleeping on a bunk bed. Someone is going to get the master suite. It won't be an equitable division of the sleeping arrangements. It's not going to be equitable when it comes to food, either.

We take a weekend every year with 6 other couples. We rent a house at the shore during a slow period. Everyone is assigned to bring something - snacks for Friday or Saturday night, breakfast for Saturday or Sunday. We all pitch an equal amount into a kitty for the beer, pizza and sandwiches knowing that John and Linda are going to eat twice as much as Mike and Jean. Some one ends up sleeping in the "kiddie bedroom" and another couple will end up with the master suite but we divide the cost of the rental 7 ways. Room assignment is done by lottery and everyone knows the way it's going to go.

The best thing to do is to make sure that the arrangements are made clear before everyone gets to SSR. Have a bad back that would be aggravated by sleeping on a sofa bed? Don't want to pay for Starbucks when Maxwell House is just fine for you? Use your voice. Maybe someone else would prefer Maxwell House as well. But be prepared to pay for (and drink) Starbucks if that's what everyone else wants. If you end up paying more than what you consider to be your fair share, consider it to be the price paid to spend time with these special people. If the trip ends up being a real disaster for you, make a vow not to repeat it and stick to it.
 
I agree with Marionette above and also want to point out it could be way more expensive. They could have booked a Poly bungalow and gone with making an ADR for every dinner. We go with in laws a lot and they like signature dinners. My DH is, um, frugal and he has a hard time with the bill at a signature. So typically we will agree to go to just one per trip. This Oct we are all going together and doing a split stay...our DVC home of BWV for half and SIL's DVC home of AKV for half. So we decided to get deluxe DP in just one studio for just BWV part. Four nights and six credits per day gives us enough for the four of us to do three signatures. In laws will split the cost. I got off topic, sorry. Anyway it does hamper things so you need to decide if you can go with the flow without animosity building during the trip. Cause if it builds you are libel to flip out at some point.
 


Did someone book Saratoga with DVC points or did you book direct? Not sure how groceries are expensive thay's the budget board go to on savig money. Make sandwhiches and breakfast in the room and if you ever eat out only do 1 meal a day.
 
When you agree to vacation with other people, you really have to commit to going with the flow or else opt to stay home. No one is going to count how many grapes A ate or how many slices of bread B toasted for himself in order to divide the costs according to what everyone consumed. If you're going to be in the treehouses, someone is going to be sleeping on a bunk bed. Someone is going to get the master suite. It won't be an equitable division of the sleeping arrangements. It's not going to be equitable when it comes to food, either.

We take a weekend every year with 6 other couples. We rent a house at the shore during a slow period. Everyone is assigned to bring something - snacks for Friday or Saturday night, breakfast for Saturday or Sunday. We all pitch an equal amount into a kitty for the beer, pizza and sandwiches knowing that John and Linda are going to eat twice as much as Mike and Jean. Some one ends up sleeping in the "kiddie bedroom" and another couple will end up with the master suite but we divide the cost of the rental 7 ways. Room assignment is done by lottery and everyone knows the way it's going to go.

The best thing to do is to make sure that the arrangements are made clear before everyone gets to SSR. Have a bad back that would be aggravated by sleeping on a sofa bed? Don't want to pay for Starbucks when Maxwell House is just fine for you? Use your voice. Maybe someone else would prefer Maxwell House as well. But be prepared to pay for (and drink) Starbucks if that's what everyone else wants. If you end up paying more than what you consider to be your fair share, consider it to be the price paid to spend time with these special people. If the trip ends up being a real disaster for you, make a vow not to repeat it and stick to it.

I agree with pretty much everything you said. To be honest, I probably should have really considered this a bit longer before committing to it. It's a very expensive trip and I got carried away thinking about how much fun it would be to do it with this crew when I said yes. We have other travel plans for the summer to pay for as well. I am not a petty person, so I certainly won't be counting grapes, lol, I'm just struggling trying to reconcile what I have committed to and how I can personally be careful with what I spend as it progresses without being unfair or uptight. Does that make sense?
 


Did someone book Saratoga with DVC points or did you book direct? Not sure how groceries are expensive thay's the budget board go to on savig money. Make sandwhiches and breakfast in the room and if you ever eat out only do 1 meal a day.

I'm sorry Not sure what you are saying.
 
I'm sorry Not sure what you are saying.
The tree houses are located in Saratoga Springs. They are part of the Disney Vacation Club and members can book them using their points instead of cash. However, they can also be booked for cash by non-members if they are available. They can be pretty expensive when booked with cash.
 
I totally get your worries and would be the same way myself. Maybe mention at some point that u have a very limited travel budget for this trip due to other travel plans this summer. And definitely speak up for going dutch when u eat out (say it first before someone else suggests splitting the tab equally). Not much u can do about the grocery budget though so I would just write it off mentally.

One time I took a girlfriend on a business trip with me. She was on a super tight budget at home so I thought we were likeminded. We stopped at a grocery store to pick up "cheap food for breakfast". By the time we bought all the expensive fruit (not on sale!) and various other fixings, going out would have been cheaper *sigh*. Oh well.
 
I second Marionnette's points, but also, try to keep the reverse in mind. It may drive you nuts to worry about the price of everything, but it might also drive your friends crazy if you bring it up. I've been on both sides -- I really get it. Totally remember fuming (lol) over dinner dates with one bf in college where he would order a beer (I was not 21 yet) and add $4 to a bill where we both had equally priced entrees, and then tell the server to split it down the middle. It drove me NUTS! :rotfl2: I'd go home after and be like "really?! he knows it's not equal! he wants me to subsidize his alcoholic beverage?! I'm still a student!!!" All valid points :laughing:, but ultimately the $2 was silly. Now I get annoyed when my partner acts unnecessarily frugal!

Try to embrace the concept of spending money on vacation -- not to excess, but it's a vacation destination and prices are inflated. Think of the dinners as payment for special experiences you might never have again. Fill up at breakfast and skip lunch, or eat lightly at meals when you go out. I'm guessing this will probably happen naturally as most people come back from WDW saying the portions are ridiculously large. Share things, don't buy alcohol at restaurants. Spearhead the restaurant planning so you can suggest QS/TS restaurants that will maximize bang for buck. If someone has an AP or would get one, maybe go all in on buying a TiW card and try to eat only at TiW-eligible places. But do try to relax your financial constraints a bit for the trip, or you can try money-saving plans before the trip.

Also, hugs. I totally get where you're coming from, as I've been of both minds and traveled with friends of both minds. It still really sucks to spend money more than you can or want.
 
I second Marionnette's points, but also, try to keep the reverse in mind. It may drive you nuts to worry about the price of everything, but it might also drive your friends crazy if you bring it up. I've been on both sides -- I really get it. Totally remember fuming (lol) over dinner dates with one bf in college where he would order a beer (I was not 21 yet) and add $4 to a bill where we both had equally priced entrees, and then tell the server to split it down the middle. It drove me NUTS! :rotfl2: I'd go home after and be like "really?! he knows it's not equal! he wants me to subsidize his alcoholic beverage?! I'm still a student!!!" All valid points :laughing:, but ultimately the $2 was silly. Now I get annoyed when my partner acts unnecessarily frugal!

Try to embrace the concept of spending money on vacation -- not to excess, but it's a vacation destination and prices are inflated. Think of the dinners as payment for special experiences you might never have again. Fill up at breakfast and skip lunch, or eat lightly at meals when you go out. I'm guessing this will probably happen naturally as most people come back from WDW saying the portions are ridiculously large. Share things, don't buy alcohol at restaurants. Spearhead the restaurant planning so you can suggest QS/TS restaurants that will maximize bang for buck. If someone has an AP or would get one, maybe go all in on buying a TiW card and try to eat only at TiW-eligible places. But do try to relax your financial constraints a bit for the trip, or you can try money-saving plans before the trip.

Also, hugs. I totally get where you're coming from, as I've been of both minds and traveled with friends of both minds. It still really sucks to spend money more than you can or want.

Thanks very much. I agree with all of what you have said as well. :) Working on rolling with it and not agonizing too much, and being careful where I can.
 
The tree houses are located in Saratoga Springs. They are part of the Disney Vacation Club and members can book them using their points instead of cash. However, they can also be booked for cash by non-members if they are available. They can be pretty expensive when booked with cash.

It's very expensive. We are paying cash. Not a choice I would have made, which is part of my struggle. I came into the trip after they had already chosen a resort and booked it. I made a few suggestions on alternatives but they aren't interested. They really want to stay in the treehouses and had already booked everything, so that is non negotiable
 
How much is your share per night? Is there enough room for everyone? I ask because you could consider staying somewhere else and meeting up with the group at your convenience. That would give you more opportunity to plan your trip your way if it makes financial sense to do so.

One year I went on a trip with my family and turned around a few days later and went to Gatlinburg with friends. We had recently had some big expenses that changed our financial situation. I probably should have skipped the second trip but I didn't, and spent the whole time worrying. If you have ever been to Gatlinburg, you know things are very expensive there. For example, one friend wanted to rent a dune buggy to drive around and I didn't want to spend the money. So I didn't, but there were a few of us that didn't. It only held 4. I felt like I couldn't enjoy myself because I spent the whole time worrying about money. If you feel like you should back out, then do so. Or shorten your trip and tell them you will pay for the days you are there.
 
Straight talk: I have a lot of experience with this (large family). I can practically guarantee that you are going to feel uptight about spending at times, with this group. You can only do your best to relax and accept it. There are lots of people who think, 'it's vacation, I am not thinking about money'. This will be at odds with your beliefs. Go in knowing that others will not be budget-minded and don't let it bother you and you will be ok.

You can't even say, 'why buy this $35 vodka when there is perfectly good $11 vodka?'. They will not want to hear things like that. It will annoy them.

If it is really going to bother you, I would cancel.
 
It's very expensive. We are paying cash. Not a choice I would have made, which is part of my struggle. I came into the trip after they had already chosen a resort and booked it. I made a few suggestions on alternatives but they aren't interested. They really want to stay in the treehouses and had already booked everything, so that is non negotiable
I'm sure that you understand that you cannot expect them to change their plans to suit you when everything was already decided on and booked before you joined in. At this point, you've voiced your preferences and while they may have considered them, they have elected to remain with the status quo.

To me, this is like when one kid arrives at the playground, when their pals are playing baseball, and suggests that they play tag instead. The other kids were there first and want to play baseball, not tag even though tag is a fun game. The new arrival can either choose to play baseball or he can go off by himself to play alone or find others to play tag with.

It's up to you whether you are willing to pay the price or back out. Considering that they had already booked the THV before you were made a part of their plans, I would guess that they were also willing to pay what it costs without you. Given that, they should not be too upset over their increased costs if you decide to stay home.
 
you already say yes to this vacation, and I understand your struggle, but my only advice is enjoy! life is unpredictable you need to relax about money and have the best time with your friends, not everyone gets to experience the treehouses, it will probably be your only chance, have fun and those memories would be priceless!
 
I would try the best to voice your situation but not be too pushy. So if they are all doing table service meals make sure everyone pays their part and doesn't equally aplit. That way you can stay in your budget. Then also perhaps say for groceries this is my max for the week. If there are any dessert parties or other upcharges then just polietly decline and say I'll see you back in the room. Depending on your nightly cost at Saratoga treehouses maybe get your own room off site or at a value?

Also when traveling with others I understand the idea that "we could have done it cheaper" but look at the individual costs not the total. Also onsite rooms can really go up depending on how many people you have. If you have 5+ adults your options get smaller and smaller.
 
I am the same way and understand how you feel. Because you jumped into the trip mid-way I think you pretty much just have to roll with the decisions that are already made but have the right to speak up about anything that hasn't already been decided on. Majority will always rule in these types of group trips.

Consider part of the value of of the trip as getting to spend this time together with your friends...sometimes it's worth splurging a bit to have those extra special memories.

There may be moments during your trip where you get frustrated (hopefully not, but maybe) but that can happen to us all and doesn't mean you don't want to be there with your group. We did a joint WDW trip with my parents in 2015 and it was absolutely amazing...but it wasn't without trials. We were all so excited to be there and we ran ourselves ragged the first 2 days and had difficulties getting in sync and pleasing all 4 of us simultaneously (we were still having a blast during this hiccup but it was stressful at the same time) so we took a deep breath and hit the reset button...and our trip was smooth sailing from then on. We all compromised and took turns choosing what we wanted to do next. We want to go back with them again hopefully next year.
 
It's very expensive. We are paying cash. Not a choice I would have made, which is part of my struggle. I came into the trip after they had already chosen a resort and booked it. I made a few suggestions on alternatives but they aren't interested. They really want to stay in the treehouses and had already booked everything, so that is non negotiable

I looked the treehouse villas up. If the price you're paying isn't significantly more expensive than what I saw, you're not actually doing that badly. 1/5 share comes to around 160, which is the price of AoA standard but you get Kitchen and common space. So you could look at it that way. I suspect the alternatives you suggested involved some significant downgrading.

Not to say that I don't agree with you- that's a lot of money to spend. But I'm saying that if you went off on your own, it probably wouldn't be much of a money saver, and you're getting a lot more for your money with the treehouse.

I'm hesitant to suggest this. But you just sound so uncomfortable with the whole trip that maybe you should back out. There are ways to manage your individual spending, but I think this is going to stress you out just based on your reaction to the lodging and groceries. I suspect your group is about the experience and less about the bottom line, and I think that's going to be a big stresser for you.

Since you asked for straight talk. I've been in both your position and the group's position. If you're thinking this early in the game that "nooo, they're shopping at the expensive grocery place", that's usually a really good indication that this trip is not going to be a great idea. These are not people who are going to eat a set number of meals in the room or look at menu prices like you or do cocktails in the room every night as a replacement for happy hour. And the only veto power you're going to have is to split off from them. I mean realistically, they aren't going to decide on an expensive place they're looking forward to, and then change their minds when you suggest counter service. So then you have the choice of being the odd one out or going along and just seething the whole way through dinner because all you can think about is that your entree costs 3x more than the chicken nuggets at the other place. It bugs my friends if I do the former, and I HATE it when my friends do the latter. They get mad that they ate at a place they didn't want to eat because they didn't want to split up.

Like I said, I've been on both sides. You really need to decide now if you can afford to go with the flow because that's all you can really do if you want a stress free, fun trip.

If you go though (I would just for the treehouse!) I hope you have a blast!:grouphug:
 

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