At what age would you let your kids trick-or-treat alone with their friends?
My daughter is 11 and this is probably her last year doing it. She and 4 friends want to go without parents. We're OK with it, as are 3 of the other 4 parents, as long as the kids are in a group, have phones, flashlights, etc. The parent of the 4th friend isn't comfortable with that arrangement. We talked yesterday and she assumed I was going with the kids. Her younger son and mine are friends so she thought I would take the older kids and she would take the boys. When I told her I wasn't planning on going, she wasn't happy about it. We kept going back and forth, her asking me if I was going, me saying no. It felt like she was going to keep asking me until my answer agreed with her. Finally I said that if she wasn't comfortable without parental supervision, then she could go with the older kids and her son could come with DS and I. Her answer was " so you're not going with the older kids?" Again, I said no and then ended the call.
Today she texted me and basically repeated what she said yesterday. I told her the same thing, she could go with the kids if she wanted and her son could come with us. She said she would feel better if the older kids had an adult with them, so why wasn't I going? I repeated myself again, and by then I was getting frustrated. Again, I invited her son to come with mine and left it at that. The last thing she said was that she felt 11 was too young to be on their own for security reasons. I haven't heard back yet, so I have no idea what's happening with her kids.
DH and I talked about it a lot when DD first asked if she could go with just her friends. We both started trick-or-treating with friends when we were 10, so we didn't see 11 as too young. I'm frustrated because I feel like this is the other mom's issue, so it should be up to her to supervise the group if it would make her feel better, not me. She told me she's "disappointed" that I'm not as concerned about the kids' safety as she is
because I'm "refusing" to provide proper supervision. I stayed out of the planning that DD did with her friends, as did the other parents. We've only communicated with each other to verify the details and to coordinate where to meet. The kids made all the arrangements, but I did make sure the other parents were on board with the kids being on their own and they're all fine with it.
How have some of you handled these types of situations?
My daughter is 11 and this is probably her last year doing it. She and 4 friends want to go without parents. We're OK with it, as are 3 of the other 4 parents, as long as the kids are in a group, have phones, flashlights, etc. The parent of the 4th friend isn't comfortable with that arrangement. We talked yesterday and she assumed I was going with the kids. Her younger son and mine are friends so she thought I would take the older kids and she would take the boys. When I told her I wasn't planning on going, she wasn't happy about it. We kept going back and forth, her asking me if I was going, me saying no. It felt like she was going to keep asking me until my answer agreed with her. Finally I said that if she wasn't comfortable without parental supervision, then she could go with the older kids and her son could come with DS and I. Her answer was " so you're not going with the older kids?" Again, I said no and then ended the call.
Today she texted me and basically repeated what she said yesterday. I told her the same thing, she could go with the kids if she wanted and her son could come with us. She said she would feel better if the older kids had an adult with them, so why wasn't I going? I repeated myself again, and by then I was getting frustrated. Again, I invited her son to come with mine and left it at that. The last thing she said was that she felt 11 was too young to be on their own for security reasons. I haven't heard back yet, so I have no idea what's happening with her kids.
DH and I talked about it a lot when DD first asked if she could go with just her friends. We both started trick-or-treating with friends when we were 10, so we didn't see 11 as too young. I'm frustrated because I feel like this is the other mom's issue, so it should be up to her to supervise the group if it would make her feel better, not me. She told me she's "disappointed" that I'm not as concerned about the kids' safety as she is
because I'm "refusing" to provide proper supervision. I stayed out of the planning that DD did with her friends, as did the other parents. We've only communicated with each other to verify the details and to coordinate where to meet. The kids made all the arrangements, but I did make sure the other parents were on board with the kids being on their own and they're all fine with it.
How have some of you handled these types of situations?
